Gareth Bale Is The Fastest Man Alive, Scores Late To Win Copa del Rey

The final el clásico of the year. A one-off match for the Copa del Rey trophy. A trophy-starved Barça's last legitimate shot for silverware. Star man Cristiano Ronaldo out with an injury. And in the middle of all this, newcomer Gareth Bale decided he'd just outrun everyone. » 4/16/14 6:32pm 4/16/14 6:32pm

Atlético Madrid Beat Barça In Champions League, Dream Season Continues

It's all fun and games cheering on plucky upstarts Atlético Madrid, right up until the point they tear out your heart and play keepy-uppy with it. So excuse me if I'm not appropriately excited about Atlético's thoroughly deserved and enjoyable-for-neutrals 1-0 Champions League win over Barcelona. » 4/09/14 5:37pm 4/09/14 5:37pm

Sad Man United Score Great Goal, Then Get Pounded In Champions League

So...the gig's up. Manchester United, who have played like absolute dog shit all season long, almost definitely won't play in the Champions League next season. After drawing defending CL champions FC Bayern last week in the first leg of their quarterfinal, they needed to avoid a loss in Germany to advance to the… » 4/09/14 4:58pm 4/09/14 4:58pm

Watch The Stunning Champions League Strike That Put Atléti Up On Barça

Barcelona welcomed Atlético Madrid to the Camp Nou today in what is becoming a regular rivalry of increasingly large stakes. It was a Champions League matchup this time, as tense and cagey as you'd expect—that is, until Diego decided he'd had enough and straight flattened a ball into the net from about 25 yards. » 4/01/14 5:05pm 4/01/14 5:05pm

Here's Everton's Ross Barkley Dribbling 75 Yards And Scoring A Goal

So, Everton are playing Newcastle today, and midway through the first half, the Magpies took a corner kick that was cleared to Everton's young midfielder Ross Barkley. Then Barkley dribbled all the way down the right by himself, cut left inside the box through Newcastle defenders, and roofed a shot past the keeper. » 3/25/14 5:35pm 3/25/14 5:35pm

Lionel Messi Broke Barcelona's All-Time Goal Record With This Hat Trick

Another game, another broken record in the simply unparalleled career of Lionel Messi. His hat trick against Osasuna yesterday put him atop the all-time Barcelona scoring charts at 371, surpassing Paulino Alcántara's 87-year-old mark of 369. It was a vintage display from a player whose game is only encapsulated by… » 3/17/14 2:28pm 3/17/14 2:28pm

Gareth Bale And Cristiano Ronaldo Swiss-Cheesed Schalke's Defense

Hey, stupid Real Madrid fans: can we stop pretending like Gareth Bale isn't still the great player Madrid thought they were buying? Today's complete demolishment of Schalke in the Champions League has to finally shut you guys up, right? » 2/26/14 5:05pm 2/26/14 5:05pm

Sad Manchester United Lose Following Wonder Goal From Joel Campbell

Manchester United traveled to Greece to play Olympiakos FC in the Champions League, and they caught an ass-whooping. Olympiakos opened scoring in the 38th minute, when an Alejandro Dominguez shot from the top of the box was deflected before tragically trickling past United keeper David de Gea into the back of the net. » 2/25/14 4:52pm 2/25/14 4:52pm

Luis Suárez Scores Hat Trick, Is Just Toying With People Now

Liverpool are playing West Brom today in what was supposed to be a competitive match. After all, West Brom have already beaten Manchester United at Old Trafford and outplayed league leaders Arsenal at times in a draw, so you gotta think they might have what it takes to challenge Liverpool. They do not, because Luis… » 10/26/13 11:45am 10/26/13 11:45am

Arsenal Just Scored The Best Goal Of The Season So Far

Arsenal are playing Norwich City today in the English Premier League, and Gunners fans were excited to see new signing Mesut Özil team up with their best player from last year, Spanish attacking midfielder Santi Cazorla. But striker Oliver Giroud and midfielder Jack Wilshere stole the show when they scored an unreal… » 10/19/13 11:04am 10/19/13 11:04am