Golden State only dressed eight players last night, because injuries and illness had taken down everyone else, and coach Don Nelson isn't even traveling with the team because he has pneumonia. So once they got rid of that dead weight, they actually played like a real professional basketball team. Three players—Monta Ellis, Vladimir Radmanovic, and Anthony Morrow—played all 48 minutes, but still had enough in the tank to end the Mavericks' five-game winning streak. It was the first time since 1952 that an NBA team won a regular season game with only six players.

So why didn't fill-in coach Keith Smart use his remaining two bench players? Well, one was D-Leaguer Chris Hunter (Go Mat Ants!) who they had to sign just to get to the league minimum of eight bodies. And I guess Smart assumed the other guy was a ball boy or something. He's new at this.

Honorable mention: Alberto Poo-Holes. Why does his bat have a lighting bolt carved into it? [MLB]

Before he became BFF with LeBron James, before he was ignored by college coaches, before he even entered kindergarten, Curry's exuberant presence merited the watchful gaze of Don Nelson at the 1992 NBA All-Star Game. (The guy's got an eye for talent.) NBA.com's John Schuhmann unearthed this photographic gem this morning, but we're here to add context to these 1,000 words with some intrepid reporting of our own. Here's what really went down:

"The Timberwolves are going to draft this hombre with floppy hair with the No. 5 pick," said Curry, who had just learned to count and was looking for opportunities to show off. "Then they're going to trade for the No. 6 pick and take another point guard and finally, the gray-haired dude behind us is going to pick me with the No. 7 pick. So, yeah, that's how I'll be playing in Golden State in 17 years."

"You for real?" Mitch Richmond asked.

"I'm going to be a better shooter than you and my pops, you just wait. Also, check out my sweatsuit."

"Not that," said Richmond, ignoring the tyke's threads. "You're telling me that in 2009, Nellie's still going to be in Golden State?"

*****

Thank you, ladies and gentlefolks, for your continued support of Deadspin. Don't wait so long for tomorrow.

For Nelly that's another little with a penchant for shooting. Monta Ellis probably isn't very happy. He should probably take the moped for a spin to blow off some steam.

Getty Image via Yahoo!

Gary Peterson of the San Jose Mercury News noted that all of the camp attendees had many glowing things to say about the organization, the fans, and the coach that they would one day hope to play for; all of them betraying the fact that they clearly know nothing about Golden State basketball. If they're willing to kiss Warrior butt just to get that first-round lottery money, they must really, really want to be rich.

Here are some of the whoppers they told:

• Louisville's Terrence Williams: "If I wind up here, they'd call my name and I'd already be on the plane. I wouldn't ever leave here. I would love to be here. Jamal Crawford is like a brother."

• Temple's Dionte Christmas: "They have a great team, a great coach and a great coaching staff. They're a couple pieces away from being one of the top teams in the league. I like their style.

• Arizona's Chase Budinger: "This is a great place. The atmosphere is incredible. The fans are so loyal, and Don Nelson's a great coach. Great city, great fans, great team."

• Gonzaga's Austin Daye: "I'd be very happy. I have good friends on the team - Anthony Randolph and Ronny Turiaf. As long as Nellie likes me, I'm good with that."

Peterson, however, is not buying it.

You figure Williams, who spent four seasons playing for coach Rick Pitino, knows people in basketball who know other people in basketball. So you'd think he has some inkling that the Warriors are a team without form guided by a front office addled by personal agendas. Then again, the man is looking for a job....

Makes you wonder - did [Buddinger] see one of the games where [Don] Nelson gave Stephen Jackson the night off, or one of the games where he let assistant coach Keith Smart run the defense?

Christmas said, "They run and gun and get it done." Do you suppose he'd settle for two out of three?

I think Peterson probably wishes he could get drafted by a paper that covers the Lakers.

Peterson: NBA draft hopefuls will say anything [San Jose Mercury News, via Big Lead; pic via]

How would things have been different if that shot hadn't gone in with five seconds remaining against Syracuse at the Superdome? "Thankfully I don't have to think about that," Smart told me during practice with the Golden State Warriors recently, where he is an assistant coach. "But I don't think things would have changed much. I think I'd be in pretty much the same position I'm in now. But if you ask my kids, that's a different story."

More with Smart on The Shot, playing for Bobby Knight, and his unique role as the only official "defensive coordinator" in the NBA.

So take us back. How has The Shot changed your life?

I always say that the history of the shot is always chasing me to do things the right way. It's an honor, but it always makes me feel that people are looking up to that moment, and I have to make sure that I do all the right things. I still bump into people all the time who want to talk about. I don't mind. I'll talk about it as much as they want.

The thing I remember most about it was that Knight didn't call a time out before the play. Not that that was unusual.

People say, well you guys didn't call a time out. But that was Knight. We knew what to do in different situations; that all came out in practice. As a coach now I see that sometimes when you call a time out and draw up a play, the player only sees what you show him and doesn't take what the defense is giving. That shot came out of the motion offense, and that's an offense where you learn to take what the defense gives you. Playing at Indiana and playing for coach Knight has given me a tremendous base for basketball.

It went to Thomas first.

Yeah, in to Daryl, and he kicked it to me in the corner. I was just thinking 'I hope it goes in.'

Your kids must be old enough now to appreciate it. How often do they see it?

Especially now, because CBS or ESPN Classic or whatever will show it from time to time. When tournament time rolls around it will be on TV, they'll see it, and of course they'll see the short shorts and they'll see that their dad had hair, and all of that stuff. But it's always fun sitting there and watching their reaction when they see it on TV .Andre is my oldest, and Jared is the youngest. They both play basketball.

Now that you're a coach, what do you see that made Bobby Knight unique?

You couldn't tell if we were a losing team or a championship team. Because he coached it the same way. He didn't look at it like we were a 30-4 team, he coached it like we were a 4-30 team. I enjoyed my time there. I still use the drills as far as defensive principles of where you need to be. People always talk about the line drills and suicides and things; people always think that we ran a lot, but we didn't. We didn't practice a long time either. We went from an hour, maybe an hour and 15 minutes. But it was at a high intensity level. I've been around coaches in different places when you're in the gym for 2½ hours, but there's no focus or intensity with that. With Knight, practices moved from a to b to c, and you were out of there.

Do you still keep in touch? What does he think of your work with the Warriors?

I haven't talked with coach for awhile. I've talked to his son (Pat), but I have not talked to coach. Coach Knight doesn't call you; you call him. If there were ever something I needed, or if I wanted some advice, I'd call him and he'd be right there. He'll do anything for his former players. But while you're playing for him, you don't have a relationship. One big piece of advice he gave me early on was that once you start coaching, you have to fast yourself from playing basketball. Because if you're playing, you think like a basketball player. You only see one or two players removed. But when you're a coach, you have to see the entire picture. So I stopped playing completely when I started coaching. Not a pickup game, nothing. And as I moved through the years, my view of everything started getting much bigger.

What would he do when he got mad?

The big thing was when you got back to the locker room, your bags would be outside. And if he was real mad at you, he'd throw your bag down the hall.

What's the biggest adjustment from college to the NBA? How is the coaching different?

The defensive schemes are a lot different. There's a lot of motion and pick and roll stuff in college, where in the NBA it's a lot of quick hits to your best players right away. So a lot of players don't come into the NBA with that principle. Another thing is that back when I was coming up, you had players who were in college three years or four years or whatever it had been. You develop a toughness for rebounding and getting loose balls with four years of college. Now, players are coming out of college so early that most of their skills are on the offensive side. So you have to work a lot on defense. A senior in college very seldom gets caught on a screen. He gets over it or under it. A freshman, a sophomore, will hit a screen and say ‘Oh, I need help!' So that's what you learn with four years of college; getting to places before you need to be there.

Is defense a lost art?

Yeah. Because every guy wants to have fun. They want to have fun on the break with the wide open dunk. But if you don't have stops on defense that create those situations, you're lost. I was always taught that rebounding is the most important thing. The good teams rebound. If you're not rebounding, you're constantly playing fast, trying to catch up. When the shot goes up, if you don't get the rebound, your defense meant nothing. And you have to get the loose basketballs. So the art of teaching defense is really teaching hard work.

This has been a tough season for you.

Not really, because I'm learning a lot, and the players have bought into what we're trying to do. It's just that to be successful, you have to have the talent. And you have to stay healthy. That's been the big thing.

The Warriors are probably the only team that has two huddles during a time out. Don Nelson talks, and then the players huddle around you to hear about the defense. What's been the reaction to that?

I tell you, I have friends around the league who text me from time to time saying "Man, that is something else, we've never seen that. It takes a coach with an incredible amount of confidence to be able to do that. He'll just come to a game and say ‘You got your plan?' And we go on from there. And I want to be perfect for him. He trusts me so much, that I don't want to let him down. I think it's something that may catch on. Because you see a lot of coaches that work strictly with the defense. But nothing's like this situation right here. It's direct now. If there's a timeout and the players have a question about the defense, right away they come to me. It frees you up. So he's created something that's incredible. None of us had ever thought this way in basketball. It's gone beyond what I thought it could possibly be.

You make all the defensive calls?

Coach has told me if I need to take a player out of the game, I take him out of the game. It's not a problem. So I give the player three strikes. We had a situation a couple of nights ago, Cory missed an assignment. During the time out I told him, Cory, you've got one strike. The veteran guys have bought into it, and we've gone that way. And we haven't made it to three strikes yet. You have to hand it to coach Nelson. I can't think of another NBA coach who would be secure enough with himself to allow something like that.

Do you coach your sons? Who are their favorite players?

I don't coach my kids at all. I'm simply dad. Andre loves Jason Kidd. He gets more excited about making a pass than anything. He'll come home and say dad, I made 12 assists last night. Jared is a big Steve Nash fan. He got an opportunity to meet Kevin Garnett, and really likes him too. I just want them to have fun playing, and whatever happens with their career happens.

What do you tell your team when you're playing Kobe?

Sometimes there's nothing you can do. When he wants to turn it on and go, you can forget what you're trying to do. Those guys are so good, that sometimes you say that they're just bleeping with the game. They'll let you have fun playing with them, but they'll look at the score and say OK, we're up by six, let me turn it up a notch. Those guys, Dwyane Wade, they have the ability to allow their teammates to get involved. The key is to hold every player to his average. Don't allow other guys with a low average to have a great game.

Tell me something about Knight that may surprise people.

One of the first days I was there, I went to the dining hall. We had all of the African American players sitting at one table, all of the white players sitting at another table. Nothing big, but we knew that that wasn't how he looked at things. He told us that he didn't want to see that again. You know you don't think anything of it; right away I gravitated toward Darrell Thomas, Rick Calloway, Dean Garrett, and we were all sitting at one table. We didn't think anything of it. But you started to see that he didn't want it that way ; he wanted us all together. I didn't have the same roommate twice in a row. We rotated. He saw things differently. He and coach Nelson, their thinking is just different. I've had the opportunity to play for one who's the all-time winning college coach, and working for one who will probably be that in the pros. I am really lucky.

The Warriors guard waxed philosophical about his game on Bob Fitzgerald's KNBR-680 San Francisco radio show on Sunday. And in trying to describe it, he turned to the classics, as many of us often do.

"Yeah, you know it's like, I don't know if you've seen the movie Last Dragon, there's a guy whose name is Bruce Leroy, and at the end of the movie he got to the point where he worked so hard on all of this kung fu and watching Bruce Lee movies, that he got the glow. That's how I feel right now. I feel like I've got that glow in my game, so I'm at peace with it right now."

Sadly, the rest of the Warriors are remarkably less illuminated; Golden State is 21-42, 29 1/2 games out of first in the Pacific Division, looking to miss the playoffs for the second straight season.

But Jackson is having fun, averaging 21.1 points per game, nearly six games above his career average. He went on to reveal in the radio interview that during coach Don Nelson's show on KNBR earlier last week, he had called in with a fake southern accent pretending to be someone named "Billy from Oakland," and spent two minutes praising "that guy Stephen Jackson."

"I was surprised he didn't catch on, because I talk to coach a lot on the phone and he knows my voice," Jackson said. "And I spent a long time praising myself, but coach did say, 'Well, you've got all the turnovers too,' so he didn't totally go for it."

And don't even pretend that you don't know that there's a The Last Dragon remake in the works, with Samuel L. Jackson as Sho'nuff.

Stephen Jackson Compares Himself To Bruce Leroy Of The Last Dragon [Sports Radio Interviews.com]

When last we saw them: Finished 48-38, third in the Pacific Division and ninth overall in the West. Failed to live up to their rep as the NBA's premier feel good team by not returning to the playoffs to act as a bracket buster for the second straight year.

Key Arrivals: Anthony Morrow, Anthony Randolph, Corey Maggette, Marcus Williams, Richard Hendrix, Ronny Turiaf

Key Departures/Defections/Jailbreaks: Austin Croshere, Baron Davis, Chris Webber (does this really count?), Kosta Perovic, Matt Barnes, Mickael Pietrus, Patrick O'Bryant, Troy Hudson

The Good: Wow. Writing this section is like trying to pick delicious leftovers out of a McDonald's dumpster, but here goes. Playing Nellie Ball means the Warriors will score a lot of points: They led the league last season in both scoring (111.0 PPG) and shot attempts (90.3). They signed their franchise guy, Monta Ellis, to a long-term deal. Andris Biedrins, whom they also locked up for six years, is a double-double machine who doesn't require a lot of touches. Stephen Jackson can light it up (20.1 PPG last season), plus he provides scary toughness and emotional leadership. Corey Maggette loves to shoot the rock, which means he'll fit perfectly into Don Nelson's offense. Al Harrington can do a little bit of everything and he's just entering his prime (Harrington turned 28 last February). Ronny Turiaf may be limited in the talent department, but he'll certainly bring intensity (and insanity) off the bench. Kelenna Azubuike and Brandan Wright are talented up-and-comers. Marco Belinelli and rookie Anthony Randolph looked great in the Summer League. The bench is a little deeper, so Nelson won't be have to rely on his patented six-man rotation.

The Bad: Baron Davis defected to the Clippers (basically because Chris Mullin didn't want to pay him enough). Mind you, Davis was not only their best clutch shooter, he was their only real playmaker. Who's going to keep Nelson's offense running now? They weren't able to win (read that: give up bags and bags of money to obtain) Gilbert Arenas or Elton Brand in the free agent lottery. Shortly after he signed his new king-sized contract, Ellis got injured his ankle, had surgery (and will have to miss at least three months because of it), lied to his employers (and the world at large) about how he hurt himself, and then lost major cool points when he admitted that it happened while [DORK ALERT!!] riding a freaking moped. They probably overpaid for Biedrins ($62 million), who is talented but limited (think Troy Murphy 2.0). As I said above, Stephen Jackson is their EMOTIONAL LEADER. As a team, the Warriors treat defense like it's some kind of contagious disease; in 2007-08, they were dead last in points willingly surrendered (108.8) and 26th in field goal percentage allowed (.468). Their lack of size and helter-skelter playing style hurts them on the boards, which is why they were next to last in rebounding differential last season (-3.84). Half of the guys on the team are new this season, and their prime time player isn't going to be around for another couple months...so the team's chemistry and continuity are in question. Don Nelson is in the final year of his contract, so he's a lame duck coach. Their longtime mascot, Thunder, was another casualty of Clay Bennett's raping of Seattle.

Fun Facts: The Warriors were founded in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania in 1946 as the Philadelphia Warriors, a charter member of the Basketball Association of America. And check out their crazy mascot. The Warriors have retired almost as many numbers as the Lakers: 13 (Wilt Chamberlain), 14 (Tom Meschery), 16 (Al Attles), 24 (Rick Barry), and 42 (Nate Thurmond). Only one Warrior ever made the NBA All-Defensive First Team, and it's been a while (Nate Thurmond made the team in 1969 and 1971). The Warriors could have drafted Vince Carter, but they traded his rights for Antawn Jamison.

Videotastic extra: It's sad that the Warriors lost their mascot, but I know there's at least one cheerleader who's not sorry to see him gone...

Alba and Davis are friends because of Alba's husband, Cash Warren, who played basketball with Davis at Crossroads High School in Los Angeles. That's why she's turned up at various Warriors games over the past two seasons, and why I'm never likely to see her again around my Bay Area stomping grounds due to Davis signing a 5-year, $65 million dollar deal with the Clippers this past July. Now I have to settle for Penny Marshall? Thanks a lot Chris Mullin, you twit.

Thanks to the folks at the wonderfully-titled blog Less Clothes for the photos, more of which can be found here.

World Exclusive — Jessica Alba [Less Clothes]
NBA Star Baron Davis: I'm On Jenny Craig! [People]

It's been rumored that the injury might have happened during a game of pickup basketball, which would be sort of stupid but very understandable. After all, a lot of NBA players participate in pickup games over the summer. But the latest scuttlebutt indicates that Ellis might not have been working out or playing basketball. As Marc Stein explained:

Multiple league sources have told ESPN.com that Ellis had several cuts and abrasions on his leg - atypical of an injury sustained on a basketball court - in addition to the high ankle sprain and torn deltoid ligament he suffered on Aug. 21.

The Contra Costa Times had earlier reported that the severity of the injury has the Warriors skeptical about the explanation they received from Ellis, who told the club he got hurt working out in his native Mississippi.

Ellis has not spoken publicly since his injury was revealed Wednesday and his agent, Jeff Fried, declined comment when reached by ESPN.com.

Two experts in sports medicine consulted by ESPN.com, granted anonymity because they aren't privy to the specifics of Ellis' condition, said that a torn deltoid ligament is rarely seen in basketball. The deltoid ligament, the sources explained, is on the medial (big toe) side of the ankle while the structures typically involved in a high ankle sprain are on the opposite (lateral) side of the ankle. Involvement of the deltoid suggests a more serious rotational injury than those commonly associated with the NBA, the sources said.

Well, hmmm. Shades of Jay Williams, perhaps? Not that Ellis' injuries are as severe. He's out only until December(ish), whereas Williams' motorcycle accident was catastrophic. He almost died and never made it back to the NBA. Maybe it's more like Vladimir Radmanovic, who infamously separated his shoulder in a skiing accident but told his team (the Lakers) that he hurt himself slipping on a patch of ice.

If the Warriors find out that Ellis' injury was of the non-basketball variety, they could choose to void his recently inked contract extension...but they won't. Losing Baron Davis and Ellis in the same summer would break the franchise for years to come. If anything, they'll simply fine him like the Lakers fined the Radman (Vlad had to cough up $500K for violating his contract), and maybe suspend him for a few games. What's most likely is that they'll simply wait for the media storm to blow over and then quietly sweep the whole mess under the carpet. But I'm guessing that Chris Mullin is going to have a little chat with Ellis about his extra-curricular activities.

Cuts, abrasions lead some to question cause of Ellis' injury [ESPN.com]

Stephen A. Smith, sounding unusually subdued and somewhat tongue-tied in a segment with Stewart Scott last night on the WWL, says that Davis' dream has always been to be a Knick; which is evidence of insanity in many states.

The official line: Davis wanted to renegotiate his contract and the Warriors wouldn't play ball, so he's wading out into the market. Here's hoping he's signed by the Pistons, thus forming the awesomest beard combo in the history of basketball.

Golden State of Mind also examines possible Davis motives.

The Offseason Just Got Interesting [Golden State Of Mind]
ESPN: Baron Davis, Elton Brand Opt Out Of Contracts [Slam Dunk Central]

Golden State got 29 from Monta Ellis and a triple-double from Baron Davis (20 points, 10 rebounds, 11 assists), but B-Dizzle (9-for-25) and Stephen Jackson (5-for-17) shot poorly, and that bricklaying killed their team. The win gives the Nuggets (48-31) a one-game lead over the Warriors (47-32) with three games left. And Denver has the tiebreaker. With the Nuggets defense, anything can happen, but it doesn't look good for last year's miracle team.

Who is that man and what has he done with Dirk Nowitzki?! It's official: The space invasion is underway, and those green bastards have started with our foreign basketball players. I knew something was up when Rasho Nesterovic unexpectedly returned to life and started averaging 15 and 8. But a clutch Dirk Nowitzki?! All I can say is, you'd better get used to a daily dose of anal probing and learn how to speak Martian — at least the common phrases, like "Please don't disintegrate me!" — because nobody's walking away from the alienpocalypse. Nobody.

Mork from Ork ... I mean, Dirk ... .scored 32 points and hit a clutchtastic three with 0.9 seconds left to lift Dallas to a 97-94 victory over the Utah Jazz. The win — the Mavs' second straight over a top-tier team — not only helped Dallas reach the 50-win marker, it also secured their playoff berth. Not bad, Lord Xenu. Not bad. Deron Williams had 18 points and 12 assists for the Jazz, and he banked in a game-tying three-pointer with a handful of ticks left on the clock before Nowitzki won it with nobody in his mug. Said Jason Terry: "How do you leave the MVP wide open?" Good question.

Memo to Dirk: I know you're excited about hitting those game-winning shots. And we're all excited for you. Really. But please, for the love of God, please stop popping your jersey when you do it. Securing a playoff seed does not give you the right to become an arrogant cocksmith, even if it's in the Western Conference.

The Lakers swept the Clippers. Actually, they did more than just sweep them. They beat them with the broom and then shoved it up their ... pick and roll. It's the first time in five years that the Showtimers have swept the season series against their bizarro clones, and they won the four meetings by an average of 26 points. Who run Barter Town? The Lakers run Barter Town. Luke Walton presided over the 106-78 piledriver by scoring a team-high 18 points on 7-for-12 from the field, which made up for some foul shooting by Kobe (6-for-17) and Derek Fisher (3-for-10). Elton Brand scored 23 for the Clippers in his fifth game back from a left Achilles' tendon explosion. Al Thornton had 22 and 10.

Meanwhile, Awful Officiating asks the musical question, why do refs love LA teams so much? It even seems to extend to the NBA, as Golden State of Mind points out, where the Lakers beat the Warriors on Monday on a questionable call at the end.

4 Seconds Left: Inbound pass set in Faker territory. This is it. The last play of the game. Nellie's timeout prepped the team to tie it or shoot a 3 for the win. As the whistle blew and the players wrestled for position ... the unthinkable happened. Fisher fell to the ground grabbing Monta with him, and the ref Delaney, blew the whistle calling an offensive foul.

For those claiming that it's all a vast conspiracy, I ask, why would anyone go to all that trouble? I'm also not a proponent of the "officiating is getting worse" theory. A more likely explanation is that basketball at the upper levels has just become impossible to officiate; players are too fast and too big. I propose a rule change in which coaches can challenge plays like in the NFL. Lose a challenge, lose a time out. Or a scholarship. Whatever.

And consider this: If John Wooden has this much mystical power now, imagine what he's going to be able to do when he's dead.

RECAP: Warriors 119, Lakers 123: Revenge Of The Fakers [Golden State Of Mind]
The Officials Love LA! [Awful Officiating]
Those Bruins Are A Charmed Bunch [Deadspin]

• Stay Away From Me, Heavy Machinery! Warning: I'm running on less than four hours of sleep thanks to this overtime thriller, so if I cut my arm off with a table saw, or get my hair caught in the lathe again, well, you can blame Baron Davis or Stephen Jackson. Davis had 34 points and 14 assists — creating offense on nearly every damn possession in the final 10 minutes — as the Warriors held off the Spurs 130-121. Jackson, who rallied from a terrible start to finish with 29 points, hit two free throws and two big 3-pointers in a 56-second span of overtime. Clutch. The loss was San Antonio's second at Golden State in four weeks.

• Clumsy Waiters. General manager Steve Kerr had a little "talk" with his Suns before Monday's shootaround, telling them to go out and hit a shitload of threes. He's such a great motivator. Shawn Marion scored a season-high 27 points, had six blocked shots, and hit five of Phoenix's 20 3-pointers to lead the Suns to a 137-115 romp over the Nuggets. Reserve guard Marcus Banks made a career-high seven 3s — in eight attempts — en route to a season-best 23 points. The Suns' 20 made 3-pointers matched a franchise record and were just one Piatkowski garbage-time-bomb shy of the NBA record set by the Raptors in '05. (Pop that champagne, Donyell Marshall!)

• The Big Broken. Shaquille O'Neal flew yesterday to Los Angeles to seek medical treatment for a hip injury that has sidelined him the past five games. O'Neal bruised his left hip Dec. 22 when he fell for a loose ball and slid into the scorer's table. He aggravated the injury a few days later in a wild foursome.

• Flippin' The Script. I'd like to be more excited about Nowitzki's 29 points, eight boards, six dimes and three blocks in the Mavs 121-99 win over the Warriors last night. I really would. But I'm afraid he'll just let me down again come May. He can be such a tease. And besides, GS played like ass in this game. Baron Davis scored just 10 points on 2-for-14 shooting. He couldn't do that again if his name was Antoine Walker.

• Fear His Name. Kevin Garnett scored 11 of his 26 points late and held The Yao in check after Pollard and Perkins had fouled out as the Celtics beat the Rockets 97-93. "It was superstar on superstar," James Posey said. "[KG] accepts those challenges, and we jumped on his back and he carried us to a win. Literally."

• Decagon The Halls With Boughs Of Holly. Move over ... um ... Mark Aguirre? No, that can't be it. John Salley? Let's try Fennis Dembo. Whatever. Richard Hamilton's 20 points made him the 10th-leading scorer in Pistons history, and he added nine assists and seven rebounds to help Detroit earn its 10th consecutive victory by killing Washington 106-93.

• Back On Track. What in the world has gotten into these Portland area kids? One minute they're out shoving referees and making bongs out of Sprite cans, the next minute they're winning 14 of 15 games. Brandon Roy fought through a poor shooting night to score 24 points to help his Blazers to a 90-79 victory over the woeful Timberwolves. Al Jefferson posted 29 points, 16 rebounds and no Bills in the loss.

• Magic Carpet Ride. Leave it to the Orlando Magic to strut into the hostile Oracle Arena — with their pimp canes and iced out goblets — and snap the Warriors' six-game winning streak. Dwight Howard scored four of his 18 in extra time as the NBA's top roadies pulled off the entertaining 123-117 OT victory over Golden State. The Glass Tiger, Howard, nearly cost the Magic the game in regulation when he was assessed with a tech for smacking the padding on the basket after a missed dunk. Ridiculous call. He composed himself though and calmly hit two late free throws to extend the drama. 'Lil Jameer Nelson finished with 22 points, 11 assists and eight rebounds and Keith "Bilbo" Bogans chipped in 22 for the Blue, who are now 11-2 on the road and 16-4 overall under sexy Stan Van Gundy.

• Wild Wild Midwest. Travis Outlaw scored 21 points, including the winning runner at the buzzer, to give the Blazers their first road victory of the season, 106-105 over the Grizzle. Officials reviewed the basket to see if Outlaw got the shot off in time and whether the clock started properly when Portland inbounded the ball with a little less than 3 seconds left. Yup and yup. Mike Miller had a season-high 30 in the loss. His hair-band will be enshrined in Springfield later today.

• You Shall Not See This Come June. Here's to hoping the "experts" that had this one circled as a possible Finals preview did so in pencil. You'd just hate to ruin a perfectly good Far Side desk calendar, you know? Josh Howard scored 27 points and Dirk Nowitzki added 25 as the Mavs hung on to a late double-digit lead to beat the Bulls 103-98. Andres Nocioni scored 14 of his 30 points in the final frame, which was a complete and utter waste of effort.

• Filling The Void. No Chris Bosh (groin), no T.J. Ford (arm), no Andrea Bargnani (girl's name) ... no problem! We run fifteen deep up here, homes. Kris Humphries and Carlos Delfino both scored 17 points, Joey Graham added 13 and three other Dino-bots scored in double figures as Toronto posted their fourth straight home win with a 98-79 drubbing of the Charlotte Hornets. Yes, Hornets. That's what the cover of the game program had listed.

In Oakland, Monta Ellis scored 15 consecutive points in the fourth quarter to finish with a career-high matching 31, as the Warriors snapped the Suns' eight-game winning streak with a 129-114 win. Stephen Jackson scored a season-high 32 pointsand Baron Davis had 28 points, 10 assists and six rebounds for Golden State, which has won six of seven. Meanwhile, Stephon Marbury had a season-high 28 points, as the Knicks beat the Utah Jazz 113-109. Not only that, but Isiah Thomas and Marbury seem to be best buddies now. I'm sorry, but I can't go on ... must put on fire-proof PJs in case earth is hurtling toward the sun ...

• Meanwhile, Trail Blazers Continue To Suck As Usual. Hedo Turkoglu had 21 points, Rashard Lewis had 20 and the Magic beat the Trail Blazers 85-74 to become the first NBA team to win 13 games this season. Orlando is 8-1 on the road.

• Mavericks Are Melting. Melting!. Caron Butler had 35 points and Antwan Jamison had 27 as the Wizards beat the Mavericks 110-98; and that's without Gilbert Arenas, mind you. Dallas has lost three straight.

• Revenge Of Beno. We predicted that the Spurs would rue the day that they traded Beno Udrih to the Kings; and we aren't even totally sure what "rue" means! Udrich scored a career-high 27 points against his former team as Sacramento snapped San Antonio's five-game winning streak with a 112-99 win.

"What a joke. The New York Knickerbockers are the laughing stock of the entire National Basketball Association. Please! Someone who has some influence! Anyone who can help! From the top to the bottom, clean the house and start over! This is an absolute embarrassment. Clyde, Dollar Bill, King, Patrick, the Oaktree, Starks, **** - even Anthony Mason.. they must be hanging their heads in shame over this. I'm seriously considering a march on the Garden. I'm going to organize a public gathering, a rally outside of the Garden offices to protest what the Dolans have done to this organization. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!"

The Warriors' Baron Davis scored a game-high 31 points and had seven assists and six rebounds, with New York's Stephon Marbury finishing with 18 points. And I'm no expert, buy when Mickael Pietrus (6-6, 215, from France) is able to hold Zach Randolph (6-9, 260, not from France) virtually in check, that says loads. You really should make sure your kids see all Knicks games: It's an educational, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to see an entire franchise melt away.

• Lakers Benchmark. Here's an interesting concept: Get someone besides Kobe to score occasionally. Who knew that would be successful? Kobe Bryant finished with 32 points, but he was on the bench in the beginning of the fourth quarter, when the Lakers went on a 12-0 run to clinch a 134-114 win overthe Pacers. LA, winners of four straight, acquired forward Trevor Ariza from the Orlando Magic for forward Brian Cook and swingman Maurice Evans earlier in the day.

• How Long Will This Last? And now the Nuggets have won six straight, as Carmelo Anthony scored 26 points and Marcus Camby had 12 points and 20 rebounds in Denver's 112-91 win over the Bulls. Allen Iverson scored 22 points.

• Raptors Lead Becomes Extinct. The Raptors blew a 24-point lead and lost to the Mavericks, 105-99, as Dirk Nowitzki (32 points) hit four straight 3-pointers in the final 1:41 of the third quarter to tie it.

Let's see, we've got:

• Bonds.
• Neither the 49ers or Raiders have won a game in a month.
• The Warriors are the only winless team in the NBA.
• After a nice start, Cal has collapsed. And their fans are falling out of trees.

We're spending Thanksgiving with our sister in the Bay Area. We hope our plane doesn't crash.

Bay Area Is Officially In Sports Hell [100 Percent Injury Rate]