There's no shame in splashing short of TPC Sawgrass's iconic 17th, as Sergio Garcia did yesterday (twice!). Better players have found the drink in the past, and will in the future. But it's hard to beat Garcia's meltdown for pathos, because of history both ancient and recent.

We'd probably think it was unfair if Tiger was awesome at both golf and celebrating golf played well, but still, these celebrations are brutal.

In no rec league could I ever throw a no-hitter. Alone on a basketball court I'd need half an hour to score 69 points—and a trampoline to dunk. But I can do all of those things in my living room. If video games give us the conceit of doing the impossible, only now has one demonstrated how hard that really is.

The "get in the hole!" guy is pretty much the worst guy on any televised golf course, but even that guy has a mom, or a wife or a sister with kids.

Golf feuds are different than most sports-related feuds. Like everything else with golf, the feuds are a bit more genteel than, say, Jeff Van Gundy hanging off the leg of Alonzo Mourning.

He then insisted to everyone around him that it was a practice swing.

A golf marshal had the fun task of removing a turtle from the course and putting it into a pond at the Players Championship on Friday. Maybe the marshal didn't appreciate the way the turtle tried to bite him as he (she?) was being escorted, but he ended up dropping that turtle into the water with no regard for surface …

A reader named David sent us this. He said his friend was playing today at Emerald Hills in Hollywood, Fla., when "an old lady (par down here) drove onto the cart path and continued into the sand trap." If she wanted to play through that badly, she should have just asked.

Deer antler spray may not be effective at delivering a growth hormone, but it does keep giving strength to dumb stories.