"When it was over, the town was a charred, smoldering mess—a blackened patch of scorched earth that left the survivors shocked and shattered as they tried to figure out what happened and how to move forward."
Your food metaphor of the day, courtesy The New York Times: "We all know the cliché that a prosecuting attorney can persuade a grand jury to indict a ham sandwich, but Clemens — and Barry Bonds, with his trial scheduled for next March — are not mere ham sandwiches but rather the prime beef of baseball."
"The nightmare of 9/11 will live forever in our minds and memories."...Yes, this is how a high school football game story begins.
Though the column was published Monday night, Whicker's Jaycee Dugard column didn't strike the collective nerve of the Internet until today. I got in touch with the OC Register's sports editor, and here's what he and Whicker have to say.
I do not say this lightly: What you're about to read is the single worst piece of sports journalism ever committed to the page.
The lede to yesterday's game story: "In the coda of the Passacaglia and Fugue in C minor, composer Johann Sebastian Bach repeats the same chord sequence over and over again, leading the listener to anticipate one resolution ..." [Washington Post]
Here's the front page of the Tennessean's weekly Davidson A.M. edition, which is one of those zoned supplements that go yellow on your lawn and contain nothing but Zales ads and the occasional fluffy interview with a dead person.
Is Mark Mangino leaving Kansas to become the new coach at West Virginia? Well, no, obviously. Who would think that? Unfortunately for him, Lawrence Journal-World reporter Ryan Wood, who became the victim of one of them thar hoaxes.