This photo doesn't really have anything to do with anything, but it makes a nice palate cleanser to start your day, I think. Come on, it's Greg Oden in a bunny suit. That's .... cute? How did Spike Jonze make a movie about furry overgrown children and forget to cast the least child-like man-child ever? Or did Oden just drop out with an ankle injury?

Seriously, though. Nice costume.

Greg Oden's Pre-Halloween and Season Celebration [Blaze of Love]

* * * * * *

Monday. Here we go.

Besides that one internet-famous shot of the Blazers' center getting all boom-boom-in-the-zoom-zoom with one young lady, you rarely see Greg Oden pop-up in any sleazy photos. For a guy who's apparently having so much trouble adjusting to the NBA, he comes off surprisingly well-adjusted. Yes, I've based this psychoanalysis on these vacation photos, of course, because my genius is extraordinary and I can tell people's emotional intelligence quotient just by looking at shirtless photos of them holding a frozen drink under a waterfall. So there.

Let's hope he doesn't injure himself by stubbing his toe on a tiki hut or something.

PHOTOS: More at Blaze Of Love

******

Now, good morning. It's Tuesday. Exhale.

Awwwww, right? So this guy I kind of know predicts the Blazers will beat the Rockets, only to be "schooled" as the saying goes by the Lakers, but adds that it will be "valuable experience for this promising young team," which is sort of how I feel about all my humiliations minus I guess the parts about "young" and "promising."

I find it always helps whenever I am writing about a challenging new topic to find sympathetic characters to whom I can relate and reading the internet I am starting to feel like this Greg Oden guy might understand. If A.J. fires me tonight maybe I'll just start a screenplay about what would happen if we met and by some unlikely sequence of events found ourselves charged with looking after an ethnically-diverse passel of potty-mouthed pipsqueaks, like a sort of fusion of Ghost World and Dangerous Minds. Probably though I will just get drunk.

Jason Quick, Blazers' beat writer for the Oregonian, conducted a radio interview with 1080 The Fan and shared these thoughts about Portland's not-so-special player:

I can’t really stand to be around him. He’s such a downer. He’s not a very fun guy to be around and he’s not a very fun guy to talk to. I think his teammates like him, but that guy is not interacting with very many guys in the locker room right now. He can’t let go of being Greg Oden. I think he’s obsessing with all this expectations. Until he starts having fun again playing basketball, he’s not going to get better. I don’t know how he’s going to do that.

Blazers' coach Nate McMillan also sees that Oden needs little coddling so, apparently, he treats him like a potty training special needs child . Here's an example of McMillan's embarrassing positive reinforcement:

Oden's statistics against Toronto were modest — 10 points, 10 rebounds, two blocks. But his defense was a major factor in the game. He was a formidable presence, often changing the shots of driving players. He held his ground against veteran Jermaine O'Neal, causing the former All-Star to make several wild, fading attempts.

"He was really looking like that center of the future," McMillan said. "I just thought he did some good things, and so I said that to the team. I said, 'Big fella, you came through. I like what you are doing.'"

Spontaneously, the team erupted in applause.

Yaaaay.

Blazers Give It Up For Oden [The Oregonian]
Message to Greg Oden: Quit Paying Attention to the Media and Get Your Head in the Game [The Big Lead]

I'll give Oden this much: He’s already been more durable than he was last season. After all, he managed to play almost three whole minutes of a real, honest-to-goodness regular season game before hurting himself. He hobbled through nine more minutes of first-half "action" after the injury, but he played poorly (zero points, 0-for-4, 5 rebounds, 2 turnovers, 2 fouls) and spent the second half in the locker room wearing a walking boot.

According to Oden, he landed on Derek Fisher's foot while going after a rebound. Only Fisher said: "I don't remember a 7-footer on my foot." So what happened? According to ESPN's J.A. Adande: "Replays indicate that Oden landed with the weight on the front of his foot, then perhaps his heel hit the top of Fisher's foot, then Oden's foot twisted to the right, after Fisher had moved away."

Uh oh. X-rays taken during the third quarter were inconclusive, and Oden is scheduled to have an MRI exam today in Portland. But, as Bill Walton might tell you (in glaring hyperbole no doubt), the description of the injury screams "stress fracture."

For his part, Oden doesn't sound too worried: "It (stinks). But (I'll) keep on working. It's just a little setback. I'll still be in the gym tomorrow."

Know who else isn't worried? Channing Frye. He seems to think that Joel Przybilla pretty much equals Greg Oden. "If [Oden's] hurt, that's part of basketball. We just moved on. Joel's not chopped liver."

True. He's more Salisbury steak than chopped liver. And although he's certainly not part of the Blazers' grand future plans, his pro career has, so far, certainly outshined Oden's...all 12 minutes of it.

If people hate having their picture taken with Shapiro so much, why do they do it?

Hi. I'm the guy from the grumpy Greg Oden picture. He actually never said a word, he seemed to prefer only communicating in grunts. Any ways here's another moment in my sports history enjoy. Thanks, Dan

Actually, Dan's starting to get on my nerves as well, and I have no reason why.

Oden, who sat out last season with a knee injury, scored Portland's first points of the preseason with a pretty impressive dunk, going on to score 13 points in about 20 minutes. So now, let the hype begin. Here's the assessment of Young Frankenstein's debut from Blazers Edge:

I assume that the minute he stepped on the court everybody saw the difference between Greg Oden and not just everybody else in the game, but pretty much everybody else on the planet. I mean, “RAAAAAWWWR! GREG SMASH NOW!” What? Huh? Say, you’re pretty hu… “YOU MOVE NOW! GREG DUNK BIG!” Oh sorry…I was standing in your way there. My mistake. (I don’t mean to convey any limited conversational skills on Greg’s part…there just aren’t polite words and whole sentences for what he does out there. It’s primal.) His offense obviously needs some work, but then again what’s wrong with a back-down dribble, a spin, or an offensive rebound and then a monster slam? Sounds good to me.

More photos here, and further Oden worshipping here. Of his five baskets, four were dunks, and he also blocked a dunk attempt by Sacramento center Spencer Hawes. For a more detailed analysis of Oden's performance, look no further than Portland's LaMarcus Aldridge: "I'm going on record and saying that Greg is a man-child."

• Elgin Baylor Unceremoniously Tossed Overboard By Clippers. Former Lakers star Elgin Baylor, who was a great shooter, rebounder and passer during his career — therefore leaving him nothing in common with today's players — has stepped down as vice president of basketball operations with the Los Angeles Clippers. And by stepped down we mean resigned amidst some sort of dispute. Mike Dunleavy will assume his responsibilities as general manager. The Clippers issued an 18-word press release; hardly a fitting tribute considering the man spent 22 seasons with the team.

• Captain Ron. Ron Artest's Houston Rockets debut highlighted an otherwise tepid, mistake-prone exhibition opener at the Toyota Center, Houston beating Memphis 96-93. Carl Landry led the Rockets with 18 points, and Artest scored 12 of his 15 points in the first quarter, making three of his five 3-pointers. But he made just one of five shots in the second half and four of 12 overall.

• It's Go Time. Wizards' forward Antawn Jamison wasted little time climbing onto the pain train, leaving their exhibition game with the Mavericks in the first quarter with a right knee injury. Dirk Nowitzki and Brandon Bass each scored 17 points to lead Dallas to a 108-82 win.

Oden On The Mic [Rise With Us]
Greg Oden: quality baller, terrible singer [Hard For The Yard]

So the consensus is that the lovely on the right is Maria Sharapova; but who is the brunette? One thing for sure, Oden could pick her out of a lineup if he had to. If she were facing the wall.

By the way, Mr. Oden seems to have gained a few pounds since then, eh?

Oden, Durant And Wandering Eyes [The Big Lead]

• Colts Cheerleaders get their hair did. [Don Chavez]
• Straightening out what really happened with Bobby Petrino going to Arkansas. [The Slophouse]
• An exciting summer for Cedric Benson has just begun [Tirico Suave]
• Some impressive newfangled playbook technology. [The Wizard of Odds]
• Greg Oden doesn't share my contempt for that G2 ad. I guess injuries are part of the G2 life. [Blazers Blog]
• Jim McKay meant more in Maryland [Bromoblog]
• An ode to Mike Tranghese [35 Seconds]

The only people who seem happy about this are the folks at Draft Kevin Durant, who are feeling awfully good about themselves. Mostly, though, we've been impressed by the outpouring of sympathy and sadness toward Oden. For a guy who could turn out to be a rather major draft disaster, everyone's certainly on his side. From Blazers' Edge:

Greg, you have nothing to apologize for. Of course everybody was disappointed over the results from yesterday. How could you not be? But everyone was disappointed for you, not about you. We want to see you play. We look forward to the day when you put on that uniform and take the court to a thunderous standing ovation. We're eager to watch you mold the game around you as you've shown you can do. We're going to have to wait another year to do that. But it's not the end of the world...for you, for us, for anybody.

In the coming year I suspect you're going to learn something about what it means to be a Trailblazer. That rally at the downtown square after you were drafted? It was only the tip of the iceberg. For every one of the thousands of people that came that day there were a hundred more who couldn't come but felt the same way. Nobody's going to stop thinking about you. Nobody's going to stop cheering you. Nobody's going to stop believing in you. Every person you meet in the coming year is going to smile and shake your hand and wish you well and a speedy recovery. You're going to be as welcomed and accepted for riding a stationary bike and doing rehab exercises as you would be if you were notching 20 and 20 every night. That's what it means to be part of the Blazers. We don't leave our own. We don't give up on our own. Even if you never played another minute in your life you would still be a Blazer—one of us—and we would still love you for it. This ain't L.A. or New York where you perform or get forgotten. This is Portland, baby, and Portland never forgets its own.

Man, Portland sounds like heaven on earth there. Well, unless you commit a crime. Then you're dirt.

An Open Letter To Greg Oden [Blazers Edge]
Cataclysm [Draft Kevin Durant]

Actually, anyone who read his blog a couple of days ago might have seen this coming.

On my vacation earlier this summer i got up off the couch and remember my knee having a sharp pain in it. That was about a month ago. I didn't tell anyone because i didn't want to seem like i was complaining or making excuses for anything. Plus i wasn't doing anything at the time i realized it hurt, so i figured it couldn't be anything big. After a couple of weeks, i had to finally tell someone so i went to St. Vincent's Sports Performance (where i worked out at before draft) and got my knee looked at. That was right before i moved to Portland for good. My knee was swollen since i was there. I finally just said that i need to tell my trainer because this is not normal. We went to the doctor's the next day to get a MRI and that night me and my mom ended up in the doctor's office being told that I have to get surgery. It's a light one, just a scoop, but still it's just another setback. I would like for me to be playing and not seem like i'm a high maintenance player, but things just keep popping up.

That was two days ago, but Adrian Wojnarowski of Yahoo still gets the scoop and wonders whether the Trail Blazers should have been more worried all along. We find this whole "is his body breaking down?" rhetoric a bit much; he is, after all, 19, and bodies don't break down at 19. Because he's 19. Greg Oden. 19. Bodies don't break down at the age of 19. Because that's how old he is.

Damaged Goods? [Yahoo Sports]
Greg Oden's Blog [Yardbarker]
The Worst Case Scenario For Greg Oden [True Hoop]

But Oden's most recent conundrum is perhaps his most troubling: Members of his extended family are asking for money, even though he already provides assistance.

"I didn't expect that at all," Oden said. "I thought my family was cool. You hear stories, but I'm like, nah, my family is cool."

Oden's mother, Zoe, has put her son on a strict budget in the early stages of his professional career, and they have hired a financial planner to manage his funds. He might earn millions of dollars a year, but Oden is living off a $10,000 biweekly stipend.

"They were living with a lot less money than what I am hooking them up with," Oden said of his extended family. "I'm like, 'You can make (the money I give you) work.' I'm getting $10,000 and I bet you I won't use more than $2,000 of that every two weeks. Because I don't need it. And they don't, either."

Oden really does seem like a great guy kid person. At a time when lots of American fans would like the write off the NBA as a league of thugs guys like Oden and Kevin Durant are set to join a league full of amicable young superstars.

via FanHouse

Oden's 10 fouls came in only 20 minutes of game action with the Portland Trailblazers, while scoring just six points, getting two rebounds, and blocking two shots. To think, he was four points shy of the elusive points/fouls double-double.

The Seattle Sonics' Kevin Durant, drafted No. 2, fared a little better. He scored 18 points, but only on 5-of-17 shooting. Worse still, he let his team down after the third quarter in that new controversial rule where you have to bench press as much as you can at midcourt, or your team loses 5 points.

Come On ... It's Summer League Fellas [Sons of Sam Malone]
Kevin Durant Is Low On The Upper Body Strength [Deadspin]

That said, some thoughts. Because our opinions are worth nothing, which makes them as valuable as everyone else's today.

• We found ourselves surprised that so many in Seattle were against the Ray Allen to the Celtics trade. You've got Kevin Durant for the next so-many years; why have a guy like Allen hanging around? Gotta be good for Allen, too; lots more threesome opportunities in Boston. (Link NSFW)

• We always find the trades on draft night more fun anyway. Zack Randolph to the Knicks? That's a lot more enjoyable to play with than Jared Dudley in Charlotte.

• Honestly, it was mostly just a night for the Pacific Northwest. We'd totally move there if they had a subway.

Though some Portland fans have already put together a Draft Kevin Durant blog, it seems likely that Greg Oden is going to be the first pick, and Durant's going to be playing in either Seattle or Oklahoma City. For all the disappointed teams and fans this morning, Portland — a franchise that has been trying to crawl its way back — and Seattle — a franchise that just found itself a desperately needed identity — were the lucky winners. Before we delve into those whose hearts were crushed, we salute the Pacific Northwest, which might very well be the center of the NBA universe for the next, oh, 10 years ago. Well, if Seattle keeps its team, anyway.

Is The First Pick A Money Maker? [CNBC]
The Draft Lottery Miracle [OregonLive]
Draft Kevin Durant
Live From Secaucus [True Hoop]

The interviewer asked him, "OK, but what teams did you grow up watching as a kid? Did you follow a particular team?" Oden replied, and I'm paraphrasing here, "Oh, sure. Growing up, I watched a lot of the Lakers, and the Celtics. They were just good teams, that played good basketball." Safe answer—big franchises with storied histories, doesn't mean anything, etc, etc. Except that the Celtics were never particularly good during Oden's lifetime, much less his formative years. In fact, they sucked the vast majority of the years that Oden has been alive.

Greg was "born" in January 1988, so the first playoffs he would have been alive for were the 87-88 playoffs. Boston lost in the Conference Finals to Detroit. If he were a human baby, Greg Oden would not remember that. If he were born a 36 year old man, he probably would. During his human formative years, when one goes and decides to be a fan of a team (I'm calling that ages 7-12) Boston was one of the worst teams, if not the worst, in the country. During that stretch, seasons of 95-96 to 00-01, the Celtics won an average of 29 games. The Celtics had one good year, during the 2001-02 season (49 wins!), and have steadily slid back into craptacular. So, when, I ask you, WHEN was 18 year old Greg Oden a fan of the Celtics?

Yeah, someone really needs to remind Oden that he's pretending to be 19. Sure, nobody's watching "ESPN First Take," but eventually, someone's gonna notice.

Greg Oden Not Even Pretending Anymore [I Dislike Your Favorite Team]

(Sports At Random had this first, by the way.)