I Am Here To Provide Kids Like You With A Game Plan For... WHAT THE F#!K KINDA CALL WAS THAT, YOU F$^KING JEW F*@K?

Welcome back to the Deadspin Guest Lecture Series. Each week, we'll be inviting various luminaries from the world of sports - players, coaches, broadcasters, and MORE! - to speak to you Deadspin folks. This week: Duke coach and shining beacon for all that is right in college basketball, Mike Krzyzewski.