The only thing worth talking about that has come from Andrew Bynum's first season with the 76ers has been the big man's ever-changing, ridiculous hairstyles. Today, Bynum met with the local media to give an update on the progress of his rehab (Spoiler alert: he's still a few weeks away from returning) and revealed his …

Man, Andrew Bynum is such a bummer. Yesterday, he spoke to reporters about the status of his weakened knees, and he didn't have much to offer in the way of encouragement. His left knee still hurts a lot, his right knee is not as swollen as it used to be, and he has taken up swimming. That about covers it.

Selig stunned us with his glorious new mane at the owners meetings. It's almost unfair to keep it to himself. So please help us put Bud Selig's hair on other things: people, animals, amorphous concepts, Jeffrey Loria, whatever.

Well hello there, who is that sexy septuagenarian—why, it's the commissioner of baseball, Allan H. "Bud" Selig!

It's not even the weirdness of the AP treating Wes Welker's hair transplant as news:

This disgruntled fan of the Sacramento River Cats would like you to know that she is NOT fuddy duddy. Nor is she a crackpot. She just thinks that Manny Ramirez's dreadlocks are the reason that "unwholesomeness" is spreading across the American landscape. I strongly urge you to listen to this voicemail in its…

Ryan, Ryan, Ryan. I thought you went to a fancy school where they taught you not to do things like this? Apparently the occasion is Stevie Johnson's contract extension, which keeps the Bills' big target around for a while. Hooray?

Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day. Photo via @joecapMARLINS. This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!

What does that face tell you? He looks guilty to me. Is this some form of self-inflicted punishment? Or is he punishing us? Did Gisele make him do it? Did Belichick make him do it? Did Jesus get jealous and make him do it? Did the Bills make him do it? Did ESPN The Magazine make him do it? Will the locks be donated to…

"Had a dream my hairline was back! Woke up and went to bathroom, turned on light slowly. Same ol story. Damn! Lol #wishfulthinking" [Via @KingJames, H/T @JoshTobin]