Here Are 12 Scary-Ass Halloween Movies To Totally Ruin Your Shit

I have always suspected that there is a reason why all of our best holidays come in the fall and winter. Days get shorter, and it's cold and wet out, and all the animals go to bed, and all the trees, like, die or whatever. Winter is a hard, shitty time of year. » 10/20/14 12:32pm Yesterday 12:32pm

Halloween Special: Madness! Torture! Applause!

The legendary Grand Guignol Theater in Paris was not a haunted house, but a serious dramatic enterprise that put on gruesome, faux-blood-splattered shows year-round for decades. It featured staged killings, mutilations and scenes of depravity and torture so realistic that audience members often fled the theater in… » 10/31/13 11:36am 10/31/13 11:36am

Zombies Vs. Strippers: The Camp Classic That Wasn't

3

The contemporary Halloween dilemma—clambering for something that’s somehow both sexy and spooky—is a painful reminder of the biggest fumble of our young careers. Last year, amidst the chaos of our mid-twenties, we were handed the creative reins to a real cinematic monster: Zombies Vs. Strippers, a low-budget,… » 10/31/13 10:45am 10/31/13 10:45am

Dolphins Lineman Richie Incognito Is Big-Time Man-Crushing On Jake Long…

Jake Long, the No. 1 overall pick by Miami in 2008, is presently an ex-Dolphin, via free agency. This does not sit well with Richie Incognito, the fellow Dolphins o-lineman (above, right). Long (above, left) may have been banged up with sundry injuries the past couple of years, but if he would come back to the ’Fins,… » 3/16/13 6:45pm 3/16/13 6:45pm

Tim Duncan And Tony Parker Mock-Executed Their Referee Nemesis Joey…

From what we can tell, this photo only started making the rounds yesterday, even though the Spurs night out on Halloween had been well-documented otherwise. These are the same costumes Tim Duncan and Tony Parker wore then—Duncan as the Punisher, because of course he'd pick a relatively obscure comic book antihero as… » 12/01/12 9:45am 12/01/12 9:45am