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The NBA Will No Longer Tolerate Lengthy Pregame Handshake Routines

Finally, the NBA is doing something to speed up the game. Surely, that means there won't be as many of those interminable television timeouts, right? Hahaha, no. The problem, see, is handshakes—those fun, entertaining little routines in which many players engage just after the pregame introductions. Yeah. They're on… » 10/17/12 1:35pm 10/17/12 1:35pm

British Olympians Warned Not To Shake Hands With Dirty Foreigners

Because the true Olympic spirit isn't friendship but rather winning, a doctor with the British Olympic Association is warning athletes that shaking hands with rivals and visiting dignitaries is just about the best way to get sick before your event (along with making out with that hot Ukrainian pentathloner). And for… » 3/06/12 10:45am 3/06/12 10:45am