happens Page index.xml - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Now comes the tricky part for the Orioles
It’s awfully easy, and too easy, to point at an up-and-coming team like the Rangers that spent a lot of money to augment the players they developed from within and say that’s the reason they clobbered an up-and-coming team like the Orioles that did the exact opposite, basically only adding the decre...
Kyrie Irving Is Sorry For Ironically(?) Perpetuating The Flat Earth Theory
Boston Celtics guard Kyrie Irving has something of a confession: He was not totally serious about being a big-time flat Earth guy, even though he spent a lot of time playing the part of a fake-deep intellectual. At a panel today, Kyrie blamed an algorithm-fueled YouTube binge for his incorrect belie...
Ronaldo Returns Lost Phone, Treats Owner And Her Friends To A Night Out
Cristiano Ronaldo is famous for his many, many goals and the selfish way he goes about scoring them. However, the forward is apparently more than willing to lend a helping hand to a random stranger in Las Vegas, finding a woman’s phone, returning it to her, and taking her and her friends on a night ...
An Exceedingly Polite Beginner's Guide To Anal Sex
Anal play, as you likely well know by now, is having its moment. Hell, even Vogue is writing about it, and Harvard is, like, teaching classes about the basics of butt-banging. But we can't all go to Harvard (and thank God for that), which means that the 101-type stuff that a lot of curious folks m...
Report: Larry Johnson Assaulted Another Lady And Told A Security Guard He'd Rip His Vocal Cords Out
Larry Johnson now has five arrests on his record for varying degrees of assault against women—that's three more arrests for assaulting women than Johnson had 1000-yard rushing seasons as a player. This time the details are especially gory. Per TMZ:...
Tiger's Porn Mistress Claims Golfer Was Not A Fan Of Contraception
Veronica Siwik-Daniels a.k.a "Joslyn James" a.k.a. "Mistress #4,567" claims Tiger impregnated her twice during their earnest love-making sessions in Vegas hotel rooms. However, Radar reports she's a horrible, untrustworthy mom so you should be skeptical of her abortion stories....
Gilbert Arenas And Teammate In Gun Standoff (UPDATE)
It's barely 2010 and already this year has exceeded my expectations: Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas reportedly drew a fucking gun on teammate Javaris Crittenton, who did likewise. From the NY Post:...
Why Are So Many Quarterbacks Kicking So Much Ass? Jamboroo, Week 9
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
The Summer Of Our Discontent
Pretty soon, this will all be over. No more loping around idly on Saturdays and Sundays. No more wandering outside and soaking in the sun. No more posts about the Tomatina. It's almost football season!...
American Newspapers Can't Quite Afford Wimbledon Coverage
Filip Bondy reports that only eight papers — the usuals plus, uh, the S.F. Examiner? — sent tennis correspondents overseas, and some aren't even there yet. To be fair, though, that's one reporter for every 6.375 players. [Bondy via TBL]...
YouTube: Where Enjoyable Parodies Happen
I solemnly swear never to get sick of these send-ups of the NBA's "Where Will Amazing Happen This Year?" commercials....
Once Again, Amazing Happened For The Celtics
The parody videos of the NBA's goose-bumping "Where Amazing Happens" videos are phenomenal (Teen Wolf, Hoosiers, etc.) And when something legitimately amazing happens, thankfully, YouTube genius AndrewB cobbled one together immediately after last night's amazingness....
And Now For News That Isn't Fair
The gal on the left there, her name is Adriana Lima. (Just in case you wanted a name to go with the wet dream later on.) The guy on the right is some kind of basketball player named Marko Jaric. One of them has about 8½ million Google searches. The other, not even 200 grand. Hopefully Ms. Lima signs...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while wondering if the new statue at Staples Center will sport fishnets... • Oscar de la Hoya vs. Steve Forbes. Check back in later tonight. [HBO] • The Detroit Pistons host the Orlando Magic in the first game of the NBA Playoff's second round. The first round should be wrapping up any...
Believe In The Flying Bracketti Monster
Everyone has their Sharpie and blank bracket, right? Okay, good. I entrust you also have your empty NIT and CBI — yeah the new 16-team tournament — brackets as well. You'll get to squiggle the teams into those little lines soon enough....
About Last Night
What you missed while dodging errant gunfire by Bobby Knight ... • College basketball: Take the A Train ... Ellington, North Carolina subdue Ohio State, 66-55. • NBA: Ow, my dialing finger! James injured as Pistons beat Cavaliers 109-74. • Soccer: The lads from Liverpool are still alive in the Champ...