The 2014 Hater's Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog

It's a difficult world out there, people. War, poverty, brutality, corruption, social and racial injustice … these are not civil times we live in. Which is why, more than ever, we NEED the comfort and warmth that only life inside the Williams-Sonoma catalog can provide. Follow me, America. Follow me inside these… » 12/09/14 11:21am 12/09/14 11:21am

The Shitty Parent's Guide To Children's Christmas Presents

Christmas is coming, which gives you a golden opportunity to squander money and add to the mounting clutter inside your home. There are millions of options when it comes to buying presents for your children and then pretending that Santa gave them those presents and then resenting the fact that the children thanked an… » 12/10/12 3:40pm 12/10/12 3:40pm

The 2012 Hater's Lover's Guide To The Top 25

Every year, we preview the upcoming college football season with a Hater's Guide to the Top 25, and every year I make the same jokes about Ohio State fans being dumb and Alabama fans being racist (it's true!), and it's always a great deal of fun. But this year, between the Hater's Guides and the Why Your Team Sucks… » 8/30/12 12:35pm 8/30/12 12:35pm

The Hater's Guide To The 2012 London Summer Olympics

Greetings, Olympic fanboys! Or should I say ... TOP OF THE OLYMPICS TO YE?!! The London Olympics are here at long last, and I think we're all excited for 16 days of corrupt amateur sports, monumentally wasteful publicly funded infrastructure, and totalitarian branding guidelines. Also, I'm told there will be… » 7/27/12 12:50pm 7/27/12 12:50pm