Rep. Heath Shuler, a former NFL quarterback and Heisman Trophy finalist, had two of his passes intercepted. But the North Carolina Democrat, who coached the Members team and played QB all four quarters, was in good spirits after the game, smiling and laughing with officers.

"They're a very fast, very young team," Shuler said of the police. "You could tell they all had played [before]. But they were just having fun, just like us."

Seriously: The guy was playing a Capitol Police team and was shut out! He's a former NFL quarterback! Well, kind of.

Capitol Police Shut Down Shuler, 'Mean Machine' [Roll Call]

The voters staged a savage attack on the athletically gifted on Tuesday, with one notable exception, if you call him gifted. Former NFL quarterback Heath Shuler, a Democrat, beat the stuffing out of 11th District Republican incumbent Charles Taylor in the North Carolina House race that Shuler had been expected by some to lose. And those of you who had money on Shuler using a sports analogy in his victory speech? Well, you collect.

"They talk about these sports analogies that I use, but let me tell you what. It is about teamwork."

Despite his political web site claiming that the candidate "has great vision," which is clearly not the case, Shuler led on Tuesday by a large enough margin to claim victory. It may have been the first time that Shuler has heard people chanting "Heath, Heath, Heath" without "must die!" at the end.

Swann Loses Bid To Be Pennsylvania Governor [MSNBC]
Heath Shuler For Congress

(Stop Shuler is trying to make sense of all this, as you'd probably guess.)

Well, with just five days until Election Day, the kids over there are realizing that they can only do much. Shuler is way ahead in the polls, and he has such a good sense of humor about himself that he actually sat down for an interview with the site.

(Sample excerpt: "Stop Shuler: Okay, November 26, 1995. RFK stadium — a 14-7 loss to the Eagles. Did you hear me boo?

Heath Shuler: What? Did I hear you boo? I mean, I obviously couldn't pick one person out —
You know, was that you guys that got a beach ball taken away? I heard some boos when that happened, I'm sure it wasn't because of an interception or anything...)

Anyway, once Norv Turner turned down an interview request, the site knew it didn't have much steam left. So now, accepting a Shuler return to DC, they're aiming lower: Simply requesting the media to stop referring to Shuler as a "former NFL quarterback." That sounds completely reasonable to us.

Heath Shuler Speaks! [StopShuler]

The site just launched but is already regularly updated with the passion of true Hawg fans. Shuler, of course, is one of the biggest busts in NFL draft history, lasting only four years in the league. Amusingly, even though he's considered a Redskin, his worst year might have been his final one, with New Orleans (of course), 1997, when he threw two touchdowns and 14 interceptions.

To quote the site: "We simply are Redskins fans and we love the city of Washington. And quite frankly, both are better off since Heath left town, and we don't want him back." Or, from another columnist, "If Shuler tries to pass a bill, will it be intercepted?"

Stop Shuler [Official Site]
Problem Is, He'd Keep Missing The Ribbon With The Scissors [Deadspin]

Honestly, we'd totally vote for him. We'd want Tony Manderich to be the lieutentant governor, Sam Bowie the treasurer, Akili Smith the attorney general, DeSagana Diop the inspector general and Brian Bosworth the comptroller. Actually, we always want DeSagana Diop to be the inspector general.

First And Ten [TMFTML]