Wall Street: Olive Garden Makes Bad Food Badly

A fight for control over Olive Garden's parent company, Darden Restaurants, has shed light on some of the Italianish restaurant chain's less-than-ideal kitchen practices. For example: Olive Garden kitchens do not salt their pasta water. For another example: Olive Garden kitchens exclusively prepare Olive Garden… » 9/12/14 11:55am Friday 11:55am

Restaurant Removes Bacon Sign, Ignites Culture War

This is it, folks. This just might be it. Your love of bacon will bring you to ruin, our ancestors said, but did we listen? Did we heed? No we did not. And now: Here we are, careening bacon-scented over the precipice of disaster. "My grandfather was alive in 2014," they will say, huddled furtive over a smoldering… » 8/26/14 3:07pm 8/26/14 3:07pm

Taste Test: Milk And Honey Original Café Mix, The Alleged Best Cereal

Back in February, our Tim Marchman posted a list that purported to rank breakfast cereals in order of deliciousness. His selection of something called "Milk and Honey Original Café Mix" for the top spot—on what's a pretty comprehensive list of the breakfast cereals you can find in your typical supermarket, mind… » 7/31/14 5:02pm 7/31/14 5:02pm

Bartender Unwittingly Serves "Flaming Lithuanian"

Keep an eye on the balding fellow, leftmost among the guys in white shirts at the start of the video. Look at that poor bastard. Dude's tired and depressed from a long day of middle-managing a Lithuanian bioinformatics firm or whatever, just minding his own business, trying to have a drink and a good time, trying to… » 7/29/14 1:03pm 7/29/14 1:03pm

How To Cook And Eat Whole Shrimp (Yes, Even Their Heads)

Generally speaking, we like shrimp. Your local supermarket testifies to this: Multiple sizes of shrimp of various provenance on display at the seafood counter; shrimp prepared and flash-frozen in wild variety (OK, maybe not wild variety, but anyway Captain Gorton breads them at least a couple of different ways) over… » 5/10/14 1:05pm 5/10/14 1:05pm

So You Want Cream Cheese And Fish Eggs In Your Pizza Crust, You Say

Looks like you'll have to travel to get it (and also it looks like you might be a lunatic): Pizza Hut locations in Hong Kong are now selling the uncreatively named Fish Roe Salmon Cream Cheese Pizza. As its name suggests, this is a pizza with salmon-flavored cream cheese and roe inside its crust, waiting to emerge and… » 4/03/14 3:54pm 4/03/14 3:54pm

Skyline Figures You'd Like Blue Noodles Under Your Diarrhea Sludge

Would you get a load of that horror. I mean lean on in here and get a nice big load of it. That is a pair of tubs of pasta, dyed red and blue by Louisville's Skyline Chili locations as a... what? celebration? like hell! ...of the upcoming Louisville-Kentucky Sweet 16 matchup. Because Skyline Chili figures that if you… » 3/25/14 5:40pm 3/25/14 5:40pm

The Ultimate Motherlode of DVD Box Sets for the Holidays

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All your friends have Netflix. We can all access a wealth of movies any time we want. But DVD box sets can still make fantastic gifts, if they're cool-looking enough, and contain stuff your loved ones will watch over and over. Here are the most beautiful (and cheapest) DVD box sets to give to your friends and family. » 11/21/13 3:58pm 11/21/13 3:58pm

Zombies Vs. Strippers: The Camp Classic That Wasn't

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The contemporary Halloween dilemma—clambering for something that’s somehow both sexy and spooky—is a painful reminder of the biggest fumble of our young careers. Last year, amidst the chaos of our mid-twenties, we were handed the creative reins to a real cinematic monster: Zombies Vs. Strippers, a low-budget,… » 10/31/13 10:45am 10/31/13 10:45am

Your Chinese Street-Food Was Probably Cooked In Poop Oil

Well, this is horrifying. Street vendors in China have taken to using something called "gutter oil"—quite literally the oil gathered from gutter runoff, dumpster sludge, garbage juice, and untreated fucking sewage fuck fuck fuck—to cook food for human consumption. And then unwitting humans are consuming that food. As… » 10/29/13 4:39pm 10/29/13 4:39pm

Californians Fail To Appreciate Inescapable, Burning Sriracha Odor

Officials of the city of Irwindale—a California town presumably situated in the ominous shadow of a Huy Fong Foods factory that looms all flecked with lightning and emitting constant spooky organ music atop the local hill—have filed suit against the makers of the delicious sriracha chili sauce, for filling their… » 10/29/13 2:00pm 10/29/13 2:00pm

Awful Person Pays $100,000 To Be Guy Fieri's Pretend Friend


Let it never be said that hedge-fund billionaire Steven A. Cohen has an eye for a bargain: The poor bastard paid a hundred grand to go on a day-long playdate with Guy Fieri, when, for the same net effect, he could have dropped maybe $25 for a sandwich-board and enough red paint to scrawl "I AM A SAD LONELY LOSER WITH… » 10/21/13 10:59am 10/21/13 10:59am

Your Handling-Lots-Of-McDonald's-Food-At-Once Problems Are Solved

Hey guys, remember back when you'd go to the drive-thru at McDonald's, and you had to, like, read the menu and, like, pick some stuff to eat, and then friggin' tell the guy what you wanted, and then you drove up to the window and opened your mouth and they fired all the food at your face with a giant slingshot? Man,… » 9/09/13 4:34pm 9/09/13 4:34pm

Taste Test: The Ruffles Ultimate Line, Which You Must Never Eat, Ever

Do not eat the Ruffles Ultimate chips and dips. Do not eat them. Don't ever eat them. Ever. They are awful, disgusting, hateful garbage; if they were a prank, no sane person in full possession of his or her faculties would ever fall for them. Don't eat them. Never eat them. Not ever. Never. Eat them not. Be not an… » 7/20/13 3:00pm 7/20/13 3:00pm