With apologies to the connections of Ichabad Crane, Ready’s Echo and Da’Tara, the 140th Belmont Stakes is a three-horse race. As everyone knows, Big Brown is attempting to become the 12th colt to win the Triple Crown on Saturday, and the first since Affirmed in 1978. Will he join titans such as Secretariat and Citation in the Hall of Fame, or will he be joining forgettables like Tim Tam and Kauai King in the Hall of Trivia? Let’s look at the 3 prime contenders:

1. Big Brown. He won the Kentucky Derby and Preakness handily, is undefeated, has won all five of his races by a combined 40 lengths and has yet to really run hard. On the downside, he’s dealing with a hoof injury that lost him some training time, isn’t really bred to get the Belmont’s onerous distance and has never faced adversity during a race. Also, in the karma department, this horse is clearly not the answer. Trainer Dicky Dutrow is a repeat offender of racing’s drug laws and has admitted Big Brown used to run on the same steroids used by Ben Johnson. Michael Iavarone, the principal of IEAH Stables, was fingered in multiple stock scams before entering the Sport of Kings. At least his jockey, Kent Desormeaux, is a decent fellow, if a bit brash and cocky.

2. Denis of Cork. Third in the Kentucky Derby, he was dead last in the backstretch of that race until passing 17 horses to get the show spot. He’s got the style to win this race (grinding away, Joey Knish style), still hasn’t reached his full potential yet, and has had 5 weeks off to prep for the race, which has been the winning route this decade. His biggest problem is trying to see how he’ll make up that nine-length gap from the Derby as a dead closer in a race with little early speed. He’s not only going to need to step forward, but he’ll also need Big Brown to run a poor race or get caught in a speed trap from the longshots. Not an impossible scenario.

3. Casino Drive. The new shooter and most likely upsetter of Big Brown, his mother foaled the winners of the 2006 and 2007 Belmont (Jazil and Rags to Riches). Although American bred, he was bought at auction by Japanese interests and made his first start in Japan, where he won by a dozen lengths. He made his second start in New York when trouncing a bad field in the Peter Pan four weeks ago, making the Belmont will be career start number three. While historically it’d be ridiculous to back a horse in his third start, conventional wisdom said the same thing about Big Brown making his fourth career start in the Derby, and he won easily. This horse is certainly talented enough to win, is bred perfectly for the distance and has the best distance jockey in the business (Edgar Prado) on his back; it’s just a question of overcoming his lack of experience and foundation.

So who’s it going to be? While a lot of the mainstream media thinks it’s a fait accompli that Big Brown becomes the first Triple Crown winner since Barack Obama’s high school days, in reality it’s a showdown between two horses with Tremendous Upside, with closer Denis of Cork ready to pick up the pieces if both fail to fire. Of course, Big Brown’s connections have totally ignored Denis of Cork and think Casino Drive doesn’t have a chance in hell. In a fine showing of ethnic sensitivity, Dicky Dutrow proclaimed: “All the Japanese people…thought Godzilla was dead. They’re going to find out he’s not dead. He’s here.”

Maybe it’s as simple as a Big Brown romp. But it’s a lot more likely that Big Brown’s cracked hoof, compressed racing schedule and breeding limitations will catch up to him with half a mile to go in the race. The feeling here is that we’ll see Casino Drive under a blanket of carnations at 7 p.m. on Saturday, with Big Brown quickly hustled off to the breeding shed for a life of sex and oats.

Warning: If you trip in these, you will be shot.

Triple Crown Fashion [The Fan's Attic]

Regardless, this horse is going to be the focus of the sporting world for the next three weeks — God, please spare us another ridiculous ESPN Magazine cover — after winning the Preakness Stakes on Saturday. We find it difficult to become too inspired by a horse who, within minutes of winning the Kentucky Derby, already had an endorsement deal with UPS. Well, OK, the horse still doesn't have any idea what's going on and is mostly curious about where the oats are. But still.

Anyway, Big Brown seems to have a better-than-average chance to win the Triple Crown. If you are interested in this, bully for you; you have a more alert understanding of what's going on than Big Brown does. If you're like us, you're not, and far more absorbed by the gallantry and pageantry of the Preakness.

Oh Maryland, our Maryland ....

Right now, the bidding is at $400.

I HOPE THIS PAINTING DISGUSTS YOU AS MUCH AS YOU DISGUST ME. As for NBC, I'm not going to watch your network or any other network that airs horse racing. Once again, we have a painting about hypocrisy.Why is it legal for one activity involving animals, death and betting and another activity involving animals, death and betting illegal?

I really believe more than ever that it is about culture and class of people and not a damn thing to do with the animals safety and ethics. The Queen goes to horse races with all its pomp and tradition, old Willie down the street goes to the cockfight.

The last auction's proceeds went to charity. But not this time.

The money from this auction? Will I donate to another horse charity? No, not this time. I have an adopted parrot and a bunch of stray cats to feed. The fallen race horse industry is y'alls problem, you created it, you fix it. You people invaded my mental art making space and I make art, that's what I do, deal with it. No, I'm going to roll around in the money, just like you all do. I'm gonna roll and think of all you horse racing people that race your horses, gamble and send your kids to college on that money. Thousands, millions even, you make on those horses-I'm gonna roll in it. I hope that disgust you as much as you disgust me.

If the painting doesn't sell, well that's fine too. I'll hang it on my wall and when another horse goes, I'll paint another until there are no walls left or until there is a great wall to China made of Michael Vick Rides....whoever is next.......

You know ... that really would be a pretty cool wall to China.

Michael Vick Rides Eight Belles-Georgia Red Mud Raw Art [eBay]

PETA's demands:

"We are calling for cruelty to animal charges to be pressed regarding Eight Belles against the jockey and the owners of the horse," Rajt said. "It is actually a Kentucky state cruelty to animal charge. We also say the steward's board at Churchill Downs needs to immediately file a complaint against jockey Gabriel Saez for whipping Eight Belles as she came down the final stretch to the wire. We need standards in place to bar horse owners who allow this kind of cruelty."

I take no side in this debate, except to say that one of the counter-protester's signs on Tuesday, "Horses Are Born To Run," is very misleading. I believe that the photo below proves that horses would all rather be doing something else if given the choice.

PETA Demonstration At KHRA Expected To Continue In Baltimore [Thoroughbred Times]

And now look what happens: The attacks have commenced.

At a heavy horse show in Hampshire, England, a horse bolted while parading and rampaged through a crowd of people, doubtlessly seeking revenge for Eight Belles' death.

Witness Alan East said: "You could see the horse didn't look happy as it was being paraded around, it was kicking out. Then it careered off round the field and suddenly crashed through a fence and it was away. People were screaming as they saw it coming."

The best part of this is that two people standing nearby had their ankles broken. In yet another cruel irony, they were not shot on the spot. But only because horses don't yet have opposable thumbs. Give them time to evolve, and it's over.

Horse Goes On Rampage At British Horse Show [FanIQ]

Horse superfan Mirich has yet to be heard from on this, but Ingrid Newkirk, president of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, has written an angry letter to Clinton. A portion:

"Horse racing is as indefensible as dog fighting, and Sen. Clinton must step up immediately and condemn it as animal abuse," Newkirk said. "Eight Belles and countless other horses abused in the racing industry suffer horrendously and die just so that people can bet on them as though they were poker hands."

Clinton had made this statement prior to the race:

"I hope that everybody will go to the derby on Saturday and place just a little money on the filly for me," Sen. Clinton told supporters in Jeffersonville, Ind., ABC News reports. "I won't be able to be there this year — my daughter is going to be there and so she has strict instructions to bet on Eight Belles."

Meanwhile, Ms. Mirich is furiously scribbling her latest poem. An excerpt:

Hillary's Presidential ambitions, at the Rainbow Bridge. Mystical. All, All Beautiful Glowing Rainbows Sending To Angel Hillary. I Love You So A Lot So. Superdelegates with Barbaro and Eight Belles now In The Sea Of Tranquility. God brings Calming Waters, gas tax holiday and a Second spot on the Obama ticket. Halos ..... Breaking ties in the Senate. Affirmed. Posted by: Dee Mirich at May 5, 2008 6:17 PM.

PETA Writes To Clinton About Eight Belles [ABC News]
Clinton Backs Girl Horse In Kentucky Derby [ABC News]
There's Something About Mirich [Deadspin]

Such an ugly turn of events. As Unsilent Majority wrote on Saturday, it was rather disarming to watch all the smiling faces in the winner's circle celebration while a few yards away, a horse lay dying. NBC defended itself by saying that it didn't want to upset viewers by showing the dying horse on camera; but the loud gunshot during the Gabriel Saez interview was a dead giveaway.

Meanwhile, horse fans over at the Alex Brown Racing message board are furious.

I want to throw up still. Thank God I have all of you in my living room via the net. That innocent smokey gray creature with her adorable striped tube socks on her legs lying on the track still wanting to run is stuck in my head and I can't go to sleep. This is what nightmares are made of. Afterwards, these lady horses are forced to have sex with different men horses they don't know that well so they can become pregnant only for their baby to be taken away is sad. I will never see the Kentucky Derby as a festive wonderful event. We need to respect these creatures. Judgement day will come for us. — From: csantovena 2:07 am

So racing fans are not happy. PETA is on the warpath. And the Washington Post is asking the musical question, is horse racing on its way out? (I blame the blogs!).

But thoroughbred racing is in a moral crisis, and everyone now knows it. Twice since 2006, magnificent animals have suffered catastrophic injuries on live television in Triple Crown races, and there is no explaining that away. Horses are being over-bred and over-raced, until their bodies cannot support their own ambitions, or those of the humans who race them.

But at the end of the day, I think we're all left with one fundamental question. All of this animal suffering, and yet Wizard Cat does nothing?

Is Horse Racing Breeding Itself To Death? [Washington Post]
Death Looms Over Churchill Downs [Deadspin]
PETA Wants Eight Belles Jockey Suspended After Horse's Death [SF Gate]
Alex Brown Racing Message Board

"You name it, we've tried it," Tsunoda confided the other day to the Reuters news service. "We had him on Viagra - that didn't work. It's very odd. He's not impotent. He's just very choosy about his women. He's more human than animal. Basically, he's a bit of a weirdo."

War Emblem was sold to a Japanese breeder in 2004 for $17.7 million, but has sired only 39 foals since; his owners losing an estimated $55 million in stud fees. This of course has led Outsports to speculate that he's gay. I disagree with that. Those Robert Goulet photos in his stall mean nothing!

No Horse Play [CBS Sportsline]
A Stud, Candlelight, And Barry White [The News Tribune]
Popular Stud Says Nay To Mares [Outsports]

Horse racing embraces two vices that Americans love and sports hate: drugs and gambling. Without them, the sport would be unrecognizable and cease to exist. (This is also true of the NFL; wisely, they're a tad more covert about it.)

The drug vice is less interesting than it should be, as the drugs in question are used to make horses run faster, and generally double as diuretics. It's a lot less sexy to envision that the horses are being fed rocket fuel when in reality, they just pee more often. Granted, there are rogue trainers who take steps beyond the norm and legal, by taking measures such as giving their horses Viagra, injecting their legs with cobra venom (so they don't feel fatigue), and rubbing cayenne pepper on horses' genitals. But by and large, drug use is permitted, health consequences to the animals be damned.

So let's instead focus on racing's fulcrum: gambling. Without betting, there's no purse money for horses, and no lore of Seabiscuit, Secretariat and Barbaro. And because the Kentucky Derby is quintessential Americana, you're not only allowed to bet and win on the Derby, it's desired that you do so. Which is a win-win: you can make money while watching television, and Kentucky can continue to have a functioning economy.

If you're looking for a quash-scientific breakdown of the 20 Derby entrants and how to bet, check out our analysis on our site. But I suspect you're looking for a quicker way to watch and bet the Run for the Roses. Not a problem. Here are 6 well-accepted methods of picking your steed while sipping a mint julep in seersucker:

1. Bet the fastest horse. Generally foolproof in the world of racing, this leads you probable favorite Big Brown. While he's the most talented horse in the race, he's bucking 93 years of history by trying to win in his 4th lifetime race. On the plus side, his trainer has been suspended more than once for injecting his horses with illegal substances, so there's a chance he'll have an extra boost on Saturday. Expected odds: 3-1.

2. Bet the horse with the coolest name. Take a good look at the late-running Pyro during the post parade, because you won't see him again till the last 15 seconds of the race. He's the best closer in the field, but has to watch out for traffic trouble while trying to rally from last to first. Expected odds: 8-1.

3. Bet on Barbaro's memory. No, there aren't any horses with Barbaro's lineage in this race. However his trainer, Michael Matz, is back with his second Derby starter in Visionaire, who's a not-impossible longshot. The problem is that betting him means you're endorsing the five-plus minutes of violin-laden Barbaro montages during the pre-race telecast. Expected odds: 30-1

4. Bet the chic horse. Yes, the word "chic" and horse racing go together about as well as youth and John McCain. Still, every year there's a horse that the racing cognoscenti descend upon like vultures and pound his odds to half of what they should be, and the horse promptly runs 8th. This year's edition? It's Court Vision, who's owned by IEAH Stables, who intend to use him and Big Brown to start a racing hedge fund. Seriously. Expected odds

5. Bet on the girl. On the heels of filly Rags to Riches winning last year's Belmont Stakes, this year we've got a female Derby entrant in Eight Belles. In a wide-open year, she's got a fighter's chance as she's improving rapidly and seems to be coming into her own at just the right time. However, she'd be only the 4th filly to win the race ever and has never taken on male horses; suffice to say that she's a large underdog. Expected odds: 12-1.

Yep, some dope has named his horse Steve Spurrier, and it's our bad luck that it's actually a pretty fast horse.

Trainer Todd Pletcher, who won the 2007 Belmont with Rags to Riches, has been working his magic. "Every time we put him against another horse in training, he is right there," Pletcher said. Spurrier's big test is expected to come April 5 in either the Wood Memorial or the Illinois Derby.

"He has grown mentally as well as physically," Fort says. "If he improves as much in the next two months as he has in the past two, he will be right there [in the Kentucky Derby]."

If this horse wins the Kentucky Derby, and then breaks his leg heroically at the Preakness ... well, at least we'll finally have someone to answer all the emails. And we know which horse will have no problem mercilessly increasing a substantial lead.

Is Spurrier Headed To The Kentucky Derby? [The Wizard Of Odds]

Here's one unfortunate man who did not heed my advice, however. Hilarious, yet also sad. Link to the video is in this story.

Buck Streaks Nude At Moruya Racetrack [The Daily Telegraph]

"All Rainbows For Our Angel Horses And Angels Here.

Special Words Of The Day: All Rainbows
God's Treasures....Here....Appearing.....God's Divine Love........

Barbaro (8)
With You........

The Circle Of Love........
His Halo Is Glowing........
All The Colors.........
No. 8........

The Wings Of Prayer........
Praying Hands........
Sacred Prayers........
Sacred Letters........
Write........
The Wings Of Love........
Angelic........
The Heart Of Love........
The Rainbow Of Support........
Famblee........
The Rainbow Of God's Treasures........
Halos........
More Angels........
God's Stars........
Shining Beautifully........

Affirmed

Posted by: Dee Mirich at December 4, 2007 3:54 PM"

I felt that it was almost starting to make sense until "Famblee."

Alex Brown Racing Message Board

—-—-—-—-—-—-

The closest analogue in the sports world to thoroughbred racing is one that's obvious but never made —- boxing. Both were enormously popular 80 years ago and have fallen on hard times for reasons mostly their own doing. Both lack central organizations and have a dozen different factions shooting themselves in the feet while trying to make a buck instead of organizing the sport. Both have had problems related to suspicions of fixing. I will not attempt to draw a parallel between Don King and Frank Stronach (owner of Magna Entertainment and 1/3 of the notable U.S. tracks); that's just cruel and wrong.

And the biggest similarity between the sports is the presence of a dozen divisions of horses competing for different glories. While boxing differentiates between the flyweight, heavyweight and welterweight, racing gives out Eclipse Awards based on combinations age (2 years old, 3 years old, Older), sex, surface (dirt, turf), distance (sprints versus routes) and at the end, the coveted Horse of the Year prize. With somewhere around 100,000 horses racing across the continent, how the hell do you determine who's the champ in every division? And how do you make people think about horses that aren't in the Triple Crown races?

Unlike boxing, horse racing has done something about it: for the past 24 years, they've held the Breeders Cup, which offers ginormous purses ($1 million and up) for all the relevant divisions. What started off as seven races on a gloomy Saturday afternoon at decrepit Hollywood Park and then at Aqueduct Racetrack/Holding Facility has blossomed into a true carnival of racing, as the top contenders in the main divisions travel from around the country, Canada, Europe and (occasionally) Dubai to a host track (which changes every year) to duke it out for a final shot at the Eclipse Award. Think of it as hosting a series of championship bouts over the course of a weekend, where you'll know the names of a few running (generally in the Classic, where, if you're lucky, we'll find some survivors from the Triple Crown), and the rest of the races present great exhibitions of champions at the top of their game, it's just that nobody has ever heard of Nashoba's Key or Kip Deville.

The upside for all the spectators? You get to bet on the outcome (legally!) and make some money off watching great racing. Yes, unlike every other sports in the U.S., you can bet legally from your local track, OTB, simulcast parlor, and if you don't live in Utah, your living room. This is the great edge racing has over most sports that it hasn't figured out how to exploit—-it's the only sport where you can't get into any trouble for betting, and where a $50 bet can yield you better than 10-11 odds. Hell, some guy from South Dakota turned $8 into $3 million in 2003 by correctly picking the winner of six straight races, all by listening to my best friend Andy Beyer. So if you find a winner through this post and strike it rich...you know how to find me.

In this vein of expanding the kitty, and fully knowing that the public has an insatiable appetite for horse racing, this year the Breeders Cup decided to add a second day of racing and three extra races: a sprint for females that can't hack it with the boys; a dirt mile race for horses to slow for the Sprint and too faint of heart for the Classic; and a turf race for two-year olds that makes absolutely no sense. This may all seem asinine, but it's three more chances to play the trifecta. And why not? Word is that over the next few years, there will be additional races thrown in for other minor divisions, which can only lead to drain the bankrolls of horse players further.

I'm not going to go into the chances that each and every horse has in the 11 races... we're previewing all the races at Racing Esoterica, and if you're divinely curious as to what kind of a shot Shaggy Mane has in the Filly & Mare Sprint, that's the place to look. Instead, here's a look at the most interesting storylines, subplots, and races to follow over Friday and Saturday.

• The most brilliant horse that you've never heard of, Discreet Cat, runs in the Dirt Mile on Friday afternoon, where he tries to salvage his reputation after a last-place finish in the Dubai World Cup and a blasé third in the Vosburgh. Prior to those affairs, he was nothing shy of a phenom with boundless talent; check out his return to the races after a trip to Dubai in August 2006, or his insanely fast Cigar Mile win last Thanksgiving weekend. If he repeats those efforts, he wins in a walk. If he's still feeling the ill effects of a throat malady, he's going to disappoint and burn a lot of dollars.

• After Street Sense because the first horse to win the Breeders Cup Juvenile (the race for 2 year old colts) and the Kentucky Derby and break the "Juvenile Jinx", the instinct is to look to this year's Juvenile for next year's Derby winner. Sadly, you're more likely to find the next Anees than the next Street Sense here; it appears to be a fairly unimpressive group of horses, save for Tale of Ekati, who might be something special.

• The Breeders Cup travels to Monmouth Park for the first time this year, best known for offering Fast Times at the Jersey Shore and for the impeccable race calls by track announcer Larry Collmus. Monmouth is gorgeous, temperate and lovely during the summertime. This Saturday? Forecast calls for rain, clouds and temperatures in the low 50's. Sounds like a great time to be on your couch, instead of in your $200 seat.

• The undefeated filly, Nashoba's Key, tries to go 8-for-8 and stake a claim to Horse of the Year with a victory in the Filly & Mare Turf. Let's note how difficult this task is going to be. Horse of the Year generally goes to the top 3 year old colt or older male horse of the year. The recent exceptions (Azeri, 2002; Favorite Trick, 1997) caused outcries from the racing world, citing the end of racing civilization as we know it, and conveniently forgetting that a turf star named All Along won the Eclipse in 1983. Naming a turf filly Horse of the Year this year would be roughly the equivalent of naming Hanley Ramirez NL MVP this year—deserved in many respects, but really not to be expected from the voting powers.

• A series of tear-jerking stories on ESPN about some jockey who came back from alcoholism, wife beating, drug abuse or a hideous accident to triumph in the face of adversity, or a trainer who worked the checkout counter with Kurt Warner and now has a great horse. What, you think the Olympics have a monopoly on sappy crap?

• Speaking of ESPN stories, the kids at E:60 should have a field day with investigating all the troublemakers surrounding this year's cast of characters. Dylan Thomas, the staunch favorite in the Turf, is not getting his regular jockey Kieran Fallon, due to charges of race fixing in Ireland. Patrick Biancone, who has multiple strong contenders this weekend, just accepted a 1-year ban from the track after cobra venom was found in his barns. And then there's two of the owners of Preakness winner Curlin, who are facing jail time for robbing phen-fen plaintiffs out of a settlement. And let's not mention the suspensions served in the past two years by prominent trainers Todd Pletcher, Steve Assmussen and Richard Dutrow. Sadly, it's unlikely we'll have the Drexel boys scamming the Pick Six again.

• At least 3 favorites bombing badly (most likely suspects: Indian Blessing in the Juvenile Fillies; War Pass in the Juvenile and Midnight Lute in the Sprint), and a longshots taking at a minimum two races on the day. There hasn't been a Breeders Cup since 1998 where fewer than two horses at 10-1 or greater prevailed. If you're looking for a few prices to throw some ducats on to make this month's rent, take a close look at Lahudood in the Filly & Mare Turf (10-1 morning line), Balance in the Distaff (20-1 morning line) and Grand Couturier in the Turf (10-1 morning line).

• And finally, the closing battle between this year's Derby winner, Street Sense, and this year's Preakness winner, Curlin. Both followed those up with a pair of good victories in the Travers and Jockey Club Gold Cup, respectively, and are squaring off for the last time before Street Sense goes off to stud in Kentucky and Curlin gets partitioned as part of the phen-fen lawsuits. Taking them on are Derby runner-up and total speedball Hard Spun, older horse stalwart Lawyer Ron; the second-half bloomer Any Given Saturday (an apt hunch pick if you're a BCS lover, and who isn't?), and European curiosity George Washington, a turf horse trying the dirt for the second time in his career. Sadly, all that's missing is Belmont super-filly Rags to Riches, who's on the sidelines with an injury for the rest of the year. I like Street Sense to prevail in a hotly contested finale to a fun weekend of racing.

Meet the world's worst racehorse: Dona Chepa. Ole Mr. Chepa is 0-for-125 lifetime. There's no excuse for it, either.

Dona Chepa comes from a distinguished line of champion racers, and was sent to all the finest private schools. Her debut on Valentine's Day 2001 was supposed to be the beginning of something magical. Alas, it was not to be. Once, in May 2003, Dona Chepa came in 2nd (there was much rejoicing). And, despite her apparent lack of any horse racing "skills", Dona Chepa has managed to pocketed $12,971 (the horse has finished out of the money a whopping 90 times).

Frankly, we think there's still hope: We have faith that Dona Chepa will pull a Prince Hal and blossom into a great champion. And then she will fall once, and people will shoot her.

Been Through The Desert On A Horse With No Name [Gheorghe: The Blog]

Storm Cat is considered the premier breeding horse on the planet, with a a live foal stud fee of $500,000, "the highest advertised figure for a stallion in the world." But, sadly, Storm Cat is slowing down, only siring 96 mares this year, as opposed to 111 last year. Though, he "performed his duties enthusiastically." So there's that.

That's all rather impressive when you consider that Storm Cat is 24 years old, which is around 85 in human years. That Storm Cat: Not messing around. He's like Tony Randall but, you know, alive.

And, at least, we finally understand how Barbaro died.

Storm Cat Slowing Down, But Still Has Good Breeding Season [BloodHorse]

Four people were in the announcer's booth — you know, chilling out, taking about horse shit and stuff — when all of a sudden an American saddlebred named Our Axel Rose (!) jumped a wall that separates the show ring at the harness racing track and forced his way inside. He didn't knock.

So what the hell got into ol' Axel? Peter Doubleday, an announcer who manages horse shows has an idea:

"I think he was just spooked, and he saw the booth with the light on, and it made him think of his stall. That's a horse's sanctuary, and I think he thought, 'I'm going to go in here and take it easy.'"

Two Hurt In Bizarre Incident At Horse Show [The Courier Journal]

Well, Molina's punishment came down on Monday, and he's not happy about it. He was suspended for 30 days and fined $1,000 by Philadelphia Park officials. But like most abusers, Molina doesn't think he did anything wrong. Hey, if the horse didn't make me so angry, I wouldn't have to hit it, man. Anyway, I'll never do that again, baby. I promise.

"The kick wasn't what I'm about," Molina said by phone. "The penalty doesn't warrant what I did. I got punished a little harder than other ones. I think most people around the track, if you asked them, would say it was a little too harsh. People in the industry wouldn't judge me the way I've been judged."

And then, toward the end of the story, this chilling sentence: The colt was gelded last week.

Of course Molina's real punishment will come when Leonard Davis hears about this.

Jockey Suspended 30 Days For Kicking Horse [MSNBC]
No Ruling After Hearing For Jockey Who Kicked Horse [Philly.com]
Leonard Davis Gives A Damn About Your Horse [Deadspin]

Technically, Belmont is the "third leg of the Triple Crown," but more accurately described as the "second of the two gimpy legs that come after the Kentucky Derby, when the Derby champ refuses to participate."

And yet: There is drama! A gender battle the likes of which not seen since... eh, OK: The Indy 500 a few weeks ago.

Rags to Riches (seen here) will try to become the first filly (giddyup!) to win Belmont since Tanya in 1905. In total, only 22 fillies have ever ran in the Belmont, making it only slightly less hostile to women participants than, say, national politics.

My pick? Come on: How can you NOT go with the novelty pick? I've got Rags to Riches to win, followed by Chad Johnson to place and Chris Collinsworth to show.
— D.S.

Filly tackles Triple Crown Heroes [139th Belmont]

The Peacock abandoned the Senators/Sabres game yesterday at the end of regulation, shoving the overtime period over to Versus, a cable channel received in at least 14 or 15 American homes. The reason NBC was so anxious to dump the hockey game? The horse-racing pregame show. Late-breaking updates on the quality of Street Sense's pre-race bowel movements take precedence over the NHL's conference finals.

'Tis a shame. It was a very exciting game. It was tied at 2 at the end of regulation, and then 15 minutes into the overtime period ... Curlin was the winner of the Preakness Stakes, edging out Street Sense by a nose.

NBC Does Not Care About Your Precious Overtime [Barry Melrose Rocks]
Lisa Rotenberg - Horse Hockey [Artists Web]

On the day of the Kentucky Derby, a Rochester, NY, man walked into an OTB and asked how much it would cost to buy every possible trifecta combination. The man was told the answer and came back to place the wagers. It cost him a total of $13,680 for his $2 trifectas and he wound up winning... wait for it... wait for it... $440.

Yeah, you see, that's safely classified as a "bad decision." We wonder if his next move will be to put $1,000 each on the four remaining teams in the Stanley Cup. Whatever happens, he wins!

How Not To Bet The Kentucky Derby [SportsColumn]

As we approach the biggest horse racing event of the year, the question hangs in the air: Which horse will suffer a fatal injury on the track, inspiring new innovations in interpretive dance? We're going with "Tiago."

All the celebrities are hitting Louisville, even if some people can't figure out what all the fuss is about. As you can probably figure out, we think horse racing is kind of dumb, but we will nevertheless be enjoying the race tomorrow, mint julep in hand. Well, without the "mint" and "julep," which we believe is called "bourbon."

Dead Blondes And The Kentucky Derby [Bad Idea Blue Jeans]
132nd Kentucky Derby: What The F—K Ever [Rumors And Rants]
Heard Around The Barn [Pulling Hair And Betting Horses]

Two months after he cantered off of this mortal coil, further proof that the Barbaro phenomenon is still bigger than all of us.

Michael Matz could have another horse for the Kentucky Derby this year, yet nothing can replace his memories of Barbaro. The trainer made that perfectly clear Thursday morning outside his barn at Palm Meadows training center, when he pulled an envelope from his car and shared a letter sent by a young boy from Namibia. "He's 10 years old, he's an orphan, and he has AIDS," Matz said, his voice cracking with emotion. "He knew about Barbaro."

If Barbaro had lived just another year longer, we're convinced we would have achieved world peace. Oh, and there's still a Barbaro message board in operation at Tim Wooley Racing, by the way, where things have gotten very, very weird lately. It's like with Barbaro gone, there's a vacuum out there, with all these different factions of crazy vying for supremacy. Thank God for baseball season.

Matz Is 'Never Going To Be Over Barbaro' [MSNBC]
Barbaro Lives On Through Snack Food (But Not In The Way You're Thinking) [Deadspin]

A Toowoomba jockey has been caught using a sex aid in an attempt to deceive stewards in a drug test. Jason Warrington had left the track when he was asked by Queensland Racing stewards to return to provide a urine sample for precautionary drug testing. Acting chief steward John Hackett caught the jockey squeezing urine from a dildo concealed inside his pants.

"I tried to cheat the system and I got caught," Warrington said on Radio TAB today. "It was one of those stupid things you do."

And now this update from Wikipedia:

In Japan, many dildos are created to resemble animals or cartoon characters, like Hello Kitty, so that they may be sold as toys, thus avoiding obscenity laws.

Perhaps Warrington shouldn't have used the "Inspector Gadget" model. And where's Fred Smoot when we need him? Oh, they cut him!

Dildo Jockey 'Panicked' [Fox Sports]
Dildo [Wikipedia]

• Whoa B! Aside from being soooo photogenic, you actually LOOK right into the camera, at the person taking your photo. Yup. In almost all your photos. The other horses do not! It is that something inside you that knows. WOW! XO Ronnie Veronica; Tewksbury, MA.

• Barbaro, You are a true fighter. Hang in there. Don't let anyone take anything from you. People took away my carrots once. And by carrots I mean votes. Rory F., 32; Vancouver, Canada.

• So long as you continue your brave fight, this nation can rest assured that the terrorists didn't win. God Bless Barbaro, and God Bless the United States of America! Crusader; OK, USA.

But this one has to be our favorite.

• How ya HOOFING? I sent a message this a.m. but don't see it. I just want to say my prayers are with you and all involved with your care. Get well. Warm weather is coming. JAN; SOUTHINGTON, CT.

It may just be the new catch phrase of the decade. "Hey, Sean Salisbury, How ya Hoofing? Heard you talking about the Colts." "Why, if it isn't Pope Benedict XVI! How ya Hoofing, Most Holy Father?" "And Jesus said unto him, 'How ya Hoofing?' And the man replied unto Jesus that he was hoofing as well as could be expected."

Vet Has Optimistic Words On Barbaro [MSNBC]
Barbaro Message Board [Penn Veterinary Medicine]

Do you know how much vodka it would take to get a horse drunk? Those bastards have to weight about 1,000 pounds. Unless the guy used a fire hose to pump the vodka into the horse for about 90 minutes, I'll remain unconcerned about the horse's health. In fact, I will remain unconcerned about the horse under most, if not all, circumstances.

If horses are athletes, then I say we start treating them as such. If it's wrong for Maurice Clarett to get his goose on, then it's wrong for Mr. Ed, too. If Brian Urlacher showed up vodka-drunk to a playoff game, would be chastise the bartender who put the vodka in him? No sir. No, it's time to put the blame here exactly where it belongs ... on these spoiled, millionaire, thug horses.

What kind of message does this send to all the young colts and fillies out there? That it's OK to show up for your job drunk? Someone's got to get these horses under control, or they're going to start throwing basketballs and gentle slaps at one another.

Hair of the horse? [SI.com]
Yep, horses do respond to Vodka. (We know you've been wondering) [The Big Picture]

Angel Batbaro and Dr. R. loving companions. Angels On Earth. Who are love. Who are very beautiful. God gave you, Dr. R. a dear friend.. Barbaro.Affirmed. My Love, Dee Mirich. — Dee Mirich, 40; Merrillville, IN, U.S.A. posted on 2007-01-17 09:57:56

Yes, after a mysterious, nearly three-week absence during which Barbaro almost kicked the bucket, Dee Mirich is back; although as early typos seem to indicate, a little rusty. But we don't mind. No, we don't mind at all.

Barbaro Improves Following Weekend Surgery [MSNBC]
Barbaro Message Board [Penn Veterinary Medicine]
Where Is Dee Mirich Now That We Need Her Most? [Deadspin]

(By the way, this video has absolutely nothing to do with this story. Blame With Leather for that one.)

And now she's gone missing. The person who holds the record for most Barbaro message board posts in the shortest time period — five in 18 minutes — has not been heard from in the past three days. Is it just a coincidence that in that time, Barbaro has suffered a relapse? No offense, but Jean Fluck of East Fallowfield Township, PA, while clearly insane, is no substitute.

• Please, please, please Barbaro! Please be well~I was so upset to read this update! You have always fought hard; continue to do what you do best! WE LOVE YOU~WE PRAY FOR YOU~TAKE CARE! — Jean Fluck, 36; East Fallowfield Township, PA, U.S. — posted on 2007-01-10 13:00:44

So in an attempt to redirect the karmic flow, we bring back some of the best of Dee Mirich.

• Times Photo: Knew that you have it in you. You are the Greatest. Outside to graze with the Bluebirds and Sparrows, Cardinals. Rainbows Above.Angels.My Sentimental Friends.Love,Dee Mirich — Dee Mirich, 40; Merrillville, IN, U.S.A.

• Barbaro Beenie Baby: In our homes to love and care for. A Very Beautiful Christmas Present for All Wellwishers. Angel Barbaro's Special Shoe: Ruby Slippers. Affirmed. My Love, Dee Mirich. — Dee Mirich, 40; Merrillville, IN, U.S.A.

• Angel Barbaro: Beautiful, Big Precious Baby Boy, Rainbows across the universe, Angels Around.Seen halo (1969)Only Horse In our Eyes, Ours,Melting Laminitis Away,Miracle Workers. Affirmed.Love, Dee Mirich — Dee Mirich, 40; Merrillville, IN, U.S.A.

• Angel Barbaro and Dr. r loving companions. Christmas Angels. Angel Barbaro's presence: think, feel, love, see all around. Affirmed. My Sentimental Friends. My Love, Dee Mirich. — Dee Mirich, 40; Merrillville, IN, U.S.A.

We only pray it's not too late.

Barbaro Message Board [Penn Veterinary Medicine]
Barbaro 'Coming Back' After Setback [MSNBC]
Someone Just Hasn't Been Writing Enough Letters We Guess [Deadspin]

(A resolution for us in 2007: Not to spend so much time on the Barbaro Message Board. We're not sure we can keep it.)

Whaa? Isn't that just crazy? After all, Barbaro's a horse! Am I right, folks?

Columnist Gregg Doyel is all over this one, uncovering Barbaro's deranged fan club on the University of Pennsylvania School of Veterinary Medicine message board, oh, about seven months after we did. Ever the innovator, Doyel even reprinted a few of their letters. What a concept! You're so cutting edge, dog! You happened to miss this one, though:

YOU'RE the best barbaro i think you are WITHin everyones hearts and we should all be thankful that you have an excellent MEdical staff. you continue to improve barbaro you great brave HORSE. C Berman, 60; CT, USA posted on 2007-01-02 17:49:20

Next week, Doyel uncovers that whole Carolina Panthers cheerleader sex-in-the-bathroom thing.

Attack Of The Barbaro-ians Makes No (Horse) Sense [CBS SportsLine]
Barbaro Message Board [Penn Veterinary Medicine]
Deadspin SHOTY Tournament: Carl Monday vs. Barbaro [Deadspin]

"So Barbaro's recovery is a 'Christmas Miracle,' huh? Well you Barbaro letter writers can take your sequined snowman sweaters, your miniature dachsunds and your houseful of cats all go screw yourselves. Where was God when I was working 18-hour shifts tending to a goddamned horse? I didn't see Jesus hoisting Barbaro's fat ass in that sling. Eight years of college to spend my days with cats and chickens, and you say that Barbaro's recovery is due to God? I could be working for Goldman Sachs, you ingrates. And by the way, what's with all the freaking apples? I like cigars. (Hastily scrawled picture of man giving the finger)."

OK, that was a first draft. Richardson's actual quote to the press on Wedenesday:

"It's not a miracle. It's anything but that," he said, sitting next to a Christmas tree topped with a stuffed Barbaro. "Some of the Barbaro fans aren't going to like that, perhaps. I'm a scientist, I'm a doctor. I'm not a faith healer or a religious person. I believe in the application in science and I think nothing that's happened to him is particularly miraculous."

We see his point, and if it were us, we'd be kind of pissed. It's like saying "Richardson is the vet? Come on everyone, we'd better start praying!"

By the way, a pretty awesome Barbaro Photoshop is currently on display over at Barbaro's MySpace page. — RC

Barbaro Fans Send Colt Christmas Prayers [MSNBC]
Barbaro's MySpace Page

We've all had a lot of fun with the Barbaro phenomenon, sure. But a long time ago we made this solemn vow: Once we came upon a tribute video which consisted of nothing but Barbaro bath photos, set to the music of Bobby Darin's Splish Splash, then that would be the end of it. We would not ... could not go on. Well, incredibly, that time has come.

We've seen Barbaro videos set to the music of Michael Bolton, Katherine McPhee, Enya and Dan Fogelberg. There were two different Bryan Adams songs. And you haven't lived until you've seen a Barbaro tribute video set to the melodic strains of You'll Be In My Heart by Phil Collins. But wet, frothy Barbaro bath action combined with 1950s pop fare is where we draw the line. We don't want to be around for My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion, or worse yet, something from the soundtrack of Ice Castles.

Any songs out there with glue in the title? — RC

Barbaro Tribute [YouTube]

"Autopsy results on the horse who died last night at Payson will not be available until Tuesday at the earliest, but considering all the symptoms and conditions surrounding its death, it would be naive to assume this is anything but another case of equine herpes."

I wasn't aware that horses could get herpes, but more importantly, I wasn't aware that herpes could be fatal. My doctor told me it's really nothing to worry about, and that lots of people have it and live healthy lives. When I asked about a friend, I mean.

Note: Searching for an appropriate photo with this post was an experience I'd rather not re-live. I wish I had just gone with Michael Vick or the guy in the "HERPES" jersey.

Herpes Suspected in Death [Daily Racing Form via ESPN]

The Australian woman who was allegedly caught engaging in naked frolics with a horse has had bestiality charges against her dropped. 35-year-old Tina Maree Watkins was reportedly found naked in a paddock by police acting on a tip off, where she was 'engaged in an indecent act with a horse,' according to a New South Wales police spokesman.

And another regular returns to the Barbaro message board. Hey, speaking of that, Barbaro has had all of his various casts and leg wraps removed. Yay! Let's get right to the action.

• You show them how to grow a hoof, Barbaro. All your friends know you can and will do it. You are a guide light to others on how to survive laminitis. God bless and keep you. I pray for you daily. — Bobbie Bowen, 60; Mount Holly, NC, USA

• Way to Go, Mr. Big Boss Top Horse! A pedicure! Are you in seventh heaven, or what! Ask your manicurist to do the other three hoofies, too, Barbaro! Gotta get ready for Christmas, you know!Keep up the great job you'll be home in no time! — Laura S., 56; Snohomish, WA, USA

• SOUNDS GREAT BARBARO. KEEP YOUR SPIRT UP.WE LOVE YOU. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL. WE BELIEVE IN JESUS AND BARBARO!!!! — PAM, 41; BEAUMONT, TX, USA

• Wishing you Champ, Dr. R and all at New Bolton Center Happy Holidays and and very Healthy New Year! Keep fighting, grow hoof grow! Love Jayme and your 11 feline friends — Jayme, 39; Boynton Beach, FL, USA

Nude Horse Love Woman Rides Free [Metro UK]
Barbaro Message Board [Penn Veterinary Medicine]
As If Barbaro (And The Rest Of Us) Haven't Suffered Enough [Deadspin]

(UPDATE: Holy gorsh! They've renamed a race The Barbaro Stakes! They really did that!)

But the image of hundreds of crazed 57-year-old women in sequined Barbaro sweatshirts rushing the horse outside of the hospital and breaking his three good legs is too much for us to bear. And so we recommend Secret Service protection for America's "First Horse." But agents need to be aware of the following people, who should definitely be flagged:

• Barbaro, I'm patiently awaiting the 12-12-06 news update. Also comparing photos of you as you heal. Great job both to you and Dr. Richardson and congrats to him on the newest honor and award. I love you Barbaro. — Carole Parker, 63; Weirsdale, FL, United States of America

• Barbaro, I check on you several times a day on Tim Woolley website. My thoughts are with you every day of the week. Best to your caregivers, too. Your friend, — Louise Young, 59; Dallas, TX, USA

• Times Photo: Knew that you have it in you. You are the Greatest. Outside to graze with the Bluebirds and Sparrows, Cardinals. Rainbows Above.Angels.My Sentimental Friends.Love,Dee Mirich — Dee Mirich, 40; Merrillville, IN, U.S.A.

Barbaro Could Be Released Soon, Surgeon Says [MSNBC]
Barbaro Message Board [Penn Veterinary Medicine]
Barbaro MySpace Page [MySpace]

"Dearest Barbaro... It's almost Christmas, the day of the 1st Miracle.....Many years later you are another Miracle. My prayers continue for you, your caregivers, & Mr & Mrs Jackson. — Mary Lou, 56; Lancaster, PA, USA"

It's finally happened: Barbaro as religious icon. Yikes. Apparently, over the past 2000 years, there were two miracles: the birth of Christ, and the recovery of a racehorse. Just head on over to the message board to see more of what we mean.

• Barbaro...I hope you are doing well and that you are going outside despite the cold. It is almost Christmas. Who thought you would have made it this far? You are our Christmas Miracle! xoxxox — alex, 33; Blue Bell, PA,

• Barbaro..You Are Amazing and Blessed...God has you in His hands..Please pray that we get this anti-horse slaughter bill passed. Barbaro, hope you and Mocha get to see each other...Heal and peace of mind...

• Barbaro -You represent our resonsibility to all of God's creatures. You have an amazing spirit. My heartfelt wishes for a full recovery. — Pat Brink, 61; Grand Rapids, MI, USA

• HI, BARBARO, SO GLAD YOU ARE ALMOST ALL BETTER. YOU KNOW, WE NEED A PICTURE OF YOU WITH A BIG SANTA HAT ON. YOU WOULD LOOK SO GRAND! OR DESS DR DEAN UP IN A SANTA SUIT AND TAKE YUR PICTURE. PLEASE. WE NEED TO SEE YOU. — SUZIE FLEMING, 64; parkersburg, WV, AMERICA

We're wondering: How is everyone so sure that Barbaro isn't Jewish? With not one "Happy Chanukkah, Barbaro!" letter in the bunch, how do we know that "Bobby" is not terribly offended by these Christmas notes? Maybe Barbaro wants a dreidel? Ever think of THAT, Mary Lou? Or, even more likely, Barbaro is a Muslim; most thoroughbreds can trace their lineage from the Middle East, after all. Perhaps it's Allah who is guiding his speedy recovery, hmm, Alex from Blue Bell, PA?

Then there's always the outside chance that Barbaro worships the Sun God Ra. Which should make for an interesting afterlife.

Modern Mummification Of Pets And Animals
Barbaro Message Board [Penn Veterinary Medicine]

Oh, we know! You really can't go wrong with a loving tribute from Hoofbeats In Heaven, just in case — well, you know. While you're there you might want to purchase a nice print of Barbaro galloping with other horses in the afterlife (you don't want to stand under that flying one, believe us).

But enough gloomy talk. Word has it that Barbaro continues to improve, as is reflected in his latest fan mail.

• After the weekend most talk about current events, some talk about the game, and others talk about you - Oh Barbaro. Are we all crazy? No, for you see, we all are in love with you and you my prince bring out the best in humanity. — Terri Cole, 31; Braceville, OH, USA The Midnight Horse Show

• Hi Beautiful Barbaro, you are a VERY smart horse. You are a very special horse and my prayers continue for you, your family, Dr. Dean and all who love and care for you. Love, Jill XOXO —Jill Srncik, 51; Green Valley, AZ, USA

• My one & only Bobby: So I heard that you had a special visitor, Edgar, & that you are back to nipping—you naughty boy! I'm so proud of you—you just keeping munching on the apples & grass. Everyone loves you-we'd like to be nipped, too! — J Bell, 53; Pulaski, VA

• My Wonder Boy-Sleep well? Pray for ACD w/graze./ sun/treats 4 u. Am going 2 Horses Haven 2day! Will tell u about it 2nite. Wear.ur bracelet & shirt! Take care,My Warrior.Luv u-xo-'Talk'in PM — Peggy; MI

And while you're shopping, why not pick up a miniature horse or two for the kids?

Barbaro Message Board [Penn Veterinary Medicine]
Hoofbeats In Heaven
Twistwood Ranch

"Scamper was one of the greatest horses ever, and I know that now more than ever," barrel racer Charmayne James said. "I wanted to get in and save his genetics, because if they were ever able to clone a horse, Scamper would be the horse to clone."

We don't know about that, Charmayne. Does Scamper have his own message board, where he gets e-mail from miniature horses?

• From the Miniature Horses of Twistwood Ranch, Prowler, Outlaw, Blossom, Sunday, Sundance, Glory, Kissy, Celebrity, Cilly, Roxy, Russian, Jewell, Velvet, Toy and Sundance - we wish you well. Get well soon Barbaro! — Evelyn Lewis, 43; Philadelphia, MS, USA posted on 2006-11-16 09:57:29

Speaking of Barbaro, reports are in that he's able to put his full weight on his surgically repaired hind leg, and also that he has a bigger stall. This of course is sending shock waves through his message board community:

• Morning Barbaro We hear you have a bigger stall. Wonder how long it took your "people" to detach and move all your cards, letters, posters and signs to your new location! Whew! Did you remember to fill out your change of address form? luv you! — terri, Stan, Scooter and Mollie.; orlando, FL, united States posted on 2006-11-16 09:24:20

• And HOPEFULLY TB trainers AND breeders will get a clue that small bone/young horses/impossible speeds are a formula for disaster. Hopefully BArbaro will be the spokeman to reform the industry!!! — Laura Curtis, 50; Lake Harmony, NJ, USA posted on 2006-11-15 20:52:45

• You Go Big Guy! Nice to hear that you can stand on your right leg again. Too bad that the grazing season is probably coming to an end, but I'll bet you'll be home by Spring. I'm going to nominate you for Time's "Man of the Year." — Anne Rein, 51; Decatur, GA, United States posted on 2006-11-15 18:12:24

And don't forget to order your Barbaro signed print, while supplies last.

World Champion Barrel Racing Horse Cloned [MSNBC]
Barbaro Message Board [Penn Veterinary Medicine]
Barbaro Putting Full Weight On Recovering Leg [MSNBC]
Barbaro/Edgar Prado Signed Print [Wireless]

I am a 21 year old quarter horse with laminitis in both front feet since April. I too am struggling, but continue to fight, as do my owners. Keep up the good attitude! Nothing is forever, pain included. Life is good! Dino, 21; Espyville, PA, USA posted on 2006-11-09 22:14:20

And wouldn't you think that it's hard enough for Barbaro to be reading these things without making it more confusing for him? On Thursday someone sent him this: "My Wonder Boy- ACD!Bless u! U aroes w/Peter's visit!Easier 2 arise w/o cast? Gr8 groom.fr.him. Gd.graze.2day?(w/treats!)U R USA'S HORSE OF THE YR.,My Warrior!!U r doing what no other horse has ever done!Sweet dreams!Pray.4 ACN.Luv u-xo. "Talk'in AM Peggy; MI, posted on 2006-11-09 21:49:40"

Please do not text message Barbaro! If you can't get your lazy ass to a Fed Ex-Kinko's to drop him a proper e-mail, just forget the whole thing.

Oh, and if you haven't ordered your Breyer Barbaro Model yet, you'd better get moving. They're retiring him in January. Tiny toy veterinarian sold separately, because you never know what could happen.

Barbaro Message Board [Penn Veterinary Medicine]
Breyer Barbaro [A2Z Toys]

Thanks to Barbaro's legion of certifiable devoted fans, his story has grown to near mythic proportions; we're sure it's only a matter of time before Rankin-Bass produces a Barbaro Christmas Special. But until then, we'll have to make due with his medical updates (the cast is off!). And of course the many letters from well-wishers, some of which are chronicled below.

• Barbaro-You have changed the face of racing and transcended the sport with your sphere of influence! How could you not be Horse of the Year? — Karen Leasure; Fort Worth, TX, USA

• Hi Barbaro - or should i call you the horse version of Lance Armstrong!!? LOL. Your such an inspiration, and you give strength to so many. Your the reason why I was able to come out of the closet, thank you! God Bless.. — Terence Doran, 31; West Village NYC, NY.

• Precious Barbaro:please send us one of your personal emails with your photo which would be a pleasure to receive. God Bless Palm Island, the horse who has gone to be with the Lord after a weekend Breeders Cup race this weekend. Go Barbaro!!! — Karen Hoover, 57; El Paso, TX, USA

• B is for beauty, A is for awesome, R is for Real Awesome Beauty! O is for Only Horse in my Eyes! BAR-BA-ROHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! — George Popadopolous, 63; New York, NM, usa

• Barbaro, Woud you please request new photos of yourself for the UPenn web page. Your fans would like new pics as soon as you are put in a splint. Thank you, — Terri Slayton, 48; Amarillo, TX.

And remember, grow hoof grow!

Barbaro Message Board [Penn Veterinary Medicine]
Big Step: Doctors Remove Barbaro's Cast [MSNBC]

Okay, you got me. I have no desire to talk about horse racing, and I could not possibly care less about the Breeders Cup. But the Philadelphia Daily News did have a piece Friday on the post-career breeding habits of some horses, and it's not as glamorous as it sounds—especially for the alternative-lifestyle horses.

As it turns out, War Emblem prefers dudes. Mr. Ed reruns are downright pornographic to him. It saddens me that War Emblem couldn't come out of the closet until he was retired, but you know how intolerant those other horses can be. I heard Barbaro, evil son of a bitch that he is, tried to orchestrate a lynching of the last known gay competitive race horse, a thoroughbred named, for some reason, Doogie Howser.

Apparently, horse sexual behavior can mirror human sexual behavior in a number of ways.

"I read a story once by the Italian breeder Tessio who said they had a mare who had come to the breeding shed perfectly shampooed and groomed," [horse trainer Mark Reid] says. "The stallion just looked at her. Tessio then told the handlers to take the [mare] out back and get her dirty. They did and [the stallion] jumped her."

Study Do-Wrongs [Philadelphia Daily News]
Popular Stud Says 'Nay' to Mares [OutSports]