Jadeveon Clowney Goes To Hospital After Teammate's Dog Bites Him

Texans pass-rusher Jadeveon Clowney had a pretty rough rookie season, which was erased almost entirely by a series of injuries. He's currently recovering from microfracture knee surgery, and now he has to deal with an arm that was savaged by teammate D.J. Swearinger's pit bull. » 3/10/15 1:36pm 3/10/15 1:36pm

Andre Johnson Is Done With The Texans

Andre Johnson was drafted by the Houston Texans before the team's second season of existence, and he's spent the last 12 years becoming the face of the franchise. Johnson caught over 1,000 balls and racked up 13,597 yards while suiting up as the primary wideout for a number of mediocre Texans teams, but now his days… » 3/03/15 10:19am 3/03/15 10:19am

J.J. Watt Has Retreated To A Cabin In The Woods To Become More Badass

Last year, Texans defensive end J.J. Watt spent his offseason crashing at his college buddy's house and basically doing nothing but working out. This year, Watt has decided that he needs to step his training up a bit, and so he's purchased a secluded cabin in the woods, where he will live and train and presumably… » 1/30/15 3:03pm 1/30/15 3:03pm

Miracle J.J. Watt Poster Survives House Fire

This is so local news. A fire tore through one family's home in Katy, Texas, on Sunday. Everyone got out in time, although the home was seriously damaged. This is a really sad story and the KHOU report shows all the charred remains and holes in walls, but it can't help but focus on what survived:
» 1/02/15 3:10pm 1/02/15 3:10pm

Come On, J.J. Watt Should Be The MVP

J.J. Watt made NFL history today by being the first player to ever have two seasons of at least 20 sacks. Let's take this achievement as an opportunity to say that Watt should be this season's MVP, dammit. » 12/28/14 4:36pm 12/28/14 4:36pm

Report That Andre Johnson Is Willing To Take A Pay Cut Is News To Him

Andre Johnson, the greatest receiver in Texans history and the longtime face of the franchise, may be somewhere else next year. He'll turn 34 during camp, and after a disappointing season, it'd be hard to justify the $16.1 million cap hit he'll carry. » 12/26/14 5:39pm 12/26/14 5:39pm

Arian Foster Would Like To Remind You Of The Score

In case the Ravens forgot, they're getting handled by the Case Keenum-led Texans. Arian Foster helpfully directed them to the scoreboard. (He's also thrown for a touchdown today.) » 12/21/14 3:05pm 12/21/14 3:05pm

Little Badass Sends Autographed Jersey To J.J. Watt

Last night, Texans defensive end and destroyer of worlds J.J. Watt tweeted out the picture above. It's a letter and a signed jersey that he received from a seven-year-old kid named Anthony Tarantelli, who just may be the most confident pee-wee football player on the planet. » 12/16/14 10:46am 12/16/14 10:46am

A Plea To The Texans: Let J.J. Watt Play Quarterback

The Texans have gone through three quarterbacks this season: Ryan Mallett tore his pectoral muscle, Ryan Fitzpatrick broke his leg, and rookie Tom Savage hurt his knee after replacing Fitzpatrick yesterday. Houston plans on starting either Thad Lewis or Case Keenum next week against the Ravens, but here's a better… » 12/15/14 5:43pm 12/15/14 5:43pm

Dickhead Jaguars Fan Cancels Texans Fans' Plane Tickets

If you're looking for another reason to stay off Facebook and social media sites in general, allow me to offer this one: There are Jaguars fans on social media, and some of them are sociopaths. » 12/12/14 11:06am 12/12/14 11:06am

Jadeveon Clowney Out Nine Months After Microfracture Knee Surgery

Houston Texans 2014 number one overall draft pick Jadeveon Clowney will be out for approximately nine months after undergoing microfracture knee surgery yesterday, according to Adam Schefter. Professional athletes undergoing microfracture knee surgery have had mixed results, with some (Marques Colston) seeming to… » 12/09/14 9:02pm 12/09/14 9:02pm

Andre Johnson Undergoing Concussion Test After Helmet-To-Helmet Hit

Texans wide receiver Andre Johnson is in the locker room being evaluated for brain injury after taking this brutal hit to the head that was accurately flagged. [Update: Johnson is confirmed out with a concussion.] » 12/07/14 1:55pm 12/07/14 1:55pm

Arian Foster Had A British Accent Today

Arian Foster entertained the Houston media today by speaking at his locker in a British accent. Everyone was sufficiently amused, since Foster also provided usable answers to questions. The Texans running back finished the session with a "Cheerio." » 12/04/14 5:08pm 12/04/14 5:08pm

Video Evidence That We're All Just Living In J.J. Watt's World

This week's episode of Inside the NFL featured a mic'd up J.J. Watt stomping around, talking shit, and wreaking havoc during last Sunday's game against the Titans. These mic'd up segments are commonplace and usually on the boring side, but this one is worth watching from beginning to end simply because it's such a… » 12/03/14 5:29pm 12/03/14 5:29pm

Andre Johnson Bought A Buttload Of Toys For Kids Again

Texans receiver Andre Johnson has spent lots of money on toys for local kids in protective services' care for eight straight years. He also poses with the receipts for media. So, here's your annual photo of Andre Johnson holding some long-ass receipts. » 12/02/14 4:48pm 12/02/14 4:48pm

Ryan Fitzpatrick's Kid Shows Off His Elite Math Skills

Texans quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick had a career day, throwing for six touchdowns and 358 yards in today's win over the Titans. But his son Brady was the star of Fitzpatrick's postgame, showing off his multiplication skills with double-digit numbers. » 11/30/14 7:16pm 11/30/14 7:16pm

J.J. Watt Is Still A Total Anomaly

There was a disturbance in the force over the weekend, when J.J. Watt spent much of the day lined up against backup lineman Marshall Newhouse in the Texans' 22-13 loss to the Bengals and didn't come away with any sacks. That's a little surprising, but only because J.J. Watt is understood to be unreal. » 11/25/14 1:35pm 11/25/14 1:35pm

DeAndre Hopkins' Favorite 4th-Grade Memory? Eating Pudding In Class

The pictures in this post come to us from a tipster, whose fiancée went to elementary school in Clemson, South Carolina with Houston Texans wideout DeAndre Hopkins. Like many kids, Hopkins aspired to be a professional athlete. Unlike most kids, he actually made it. » 11/22/14 4:46pm 11/22/14 4:46pm