Selected comments from ESPN Conversation about their NHL rankings, which have not been updated in nearly three weeks (from here on out call them the NHL Ranklings):

shaba22 (11/9/2008 at 10:12 PM)
go sabres! number one! hahaha.

bevelmatt (11/9/2008 at 6:54 PM)
hockey - hock·ey (hok-ee): noun, Date: 1883
- a game played on an ice rink by two teams of six players on skates whose object is to drive a puck into the opponents' goal with a hockey stick...
... in case ESPN has forgotten.

puck_you17 (11/9/2008 at 6:24 PM)
They have important things to cover... the World Series of Poker. Maybe after that is over.... oh wait there might be some Bass Fishing then....

Scarface_snd (11/9/2008 at 5:59 PM)
This is freaking ridiculous . . . I can forgive them for not being able to pronounce hockey players' names on SportsCenter now that it's live, but to not update the power rankings for almost 3 weeks is simply inexcusable . . . it would be nice if ESPN gave two #### about SPORTS and not MONEY

bdfriedrich (11/9/2008 at 11:08 AM)
When do the monthly power rankings come out for November?

GSHUrlacher54 (11/8/2008 at 9:32 PM)
Could be worse... Sportsline hasn't even changed the Blackhawks page for the Coach and Roster areas. It still says Denis Savard is our coach... pathetic. At least yahoo! keeps up to date daily.

dzook01@gmail.com (11/8/2008 at 7:58 AM)
Maybe they feel pretty good about their week two picks and are just gonna let them ride all season. Better yet they probably just forgot that it was hockey season.

Favorite Savior (11/7/2008 at 12:27 PM)
Hell, I say we start our own hockey news and ranking site. I bet we could even get away with running it on this message board; 1500 characters is plenty of space for a nice run down of a game. It's not like ESPN checks this.

takedown520 (11/5/2008 at 9:34 AM)
Ryan Miller is God

Another Week Of Play Gives Rankings New Look [ESPN]

From the Washington Post:

Palin said if she and husband Todd had had a sixth child, they had already picked a name for a boy joining siblings Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper and Trig. "I always wanted a son named Zamboni," she said. The magazine will be on newsstands Friday.

I just pictured John McCain reading that quote, then slowly and deliberately removing his reading glasses, setting them on the end table, then carefully picking up a small but sturdy mallet and vigorously smashing himself in the forehead with it 12 or 14 times.

Palin Says She Considers Herself Intellectual [Washington Post]

The answer is grosser than you think. The truth is that Huokko's "girlfriend" wasn't even involved. The video featured only Huokko, pleasuring, well, himself. With a dildo. And doing something else which you sometimes see in the primate section at the zoo but that's all I'm going to say. How do I know these things? Well because it's pretty much common knowledge on the Swedish hockey message board scene by now. Still photos of the "event" are everywhere. Here are some of them, kiind of blurry but still I caution you, do not click on this link if you are at work, or if you value your eyes. It's just a wrong thing to have this on your cell phone in any culture or time zone. You've been warned.

Here's a crude translation of the accompanying article from the original Swedish, as fed through an online translation program. I actually found it quite funny.

A question in the title have been raised at several forums this week. The sex have as many anomalies as there are color combinations are quite obvious. But when abandon a sex act to sick permission? Are some animals eat their own faeces at the moment, but that it would be accepted as part of sex act is difficult to understand. Then concerns itself in the outer edges of even the most strange.

The debate now in force a certain 'elite star' in ishockeyn which has been updated recently Having lost sexfilmer. In a new film which allegedly turned up the same 'hockey star' lie and masturbate, and eat his own excrement. If it is true or not can not determine at the photos now appeared, then they are a bit blurred. The scenario around match but with today's technology where photos and videos are easy to manipulate may simply leave it all to the imagination.

Yes, who among us has not explored the outer edges of even the most strange? Sean Salisbury nods knowingly.

Äta Bajs — En Sexualitet? [Blackwater]

So if you needed video evidence to believe that Slovakia beat Bulgaria 82-0 in a women's Winter Olympics qualification tournament recently — and I don't blame you if you do — here it is. Contrary to what you probably thought, the Bulgarians can actually skate. Although figuring out what those stick things are for seems to be another matter. More video, including — amazingly — a brawl toward the end of the game, following the jump.

The best part: With the score about 80-0, someone in the stands is actually waving a Bulgarian flag.

Finally, Video Evidence Of Slovakia's 82-0 Slaughter Of Bulgaria [Yahoo Sports]

The New York Daily News' story about the Alaskan squire who knocked up the young Palin, describing him as a "a superhunky bad-boy ice hockey player from cold country." The sleuths over at Gawker happened upon his recently removed MySpace profile in which the young Johnston boastfully declared himself a "Fuckin' Redneck" and posts some photos of the young puckhead in requisite middle-finger mode. Sarah Palin says that Levi does intend to marry her daughter. (While she's running for VP. Post-election? The kid's got a better shot of marrying a moose.)

Whatever criticism befalls Johnston during his time in the spotlight, there won't ever be any questions about the kid's toughness. Johnston suffered a cracked tibia right before the hockey playoffs during his junior year as a Wasilla Warrior, but decided to ignore his doctor's advice and play anyway — even if it was just the consolation round. The result? Two goals.

Your move, Hallie Biden.

Bristol Pallin's Pregnancy Was An Open Secret Back Home [NY Daily News]
Wasilla skaters battle for fourth [ADN]

The former state champion hockey player from Royal Oak, Mich., left the sport behind to focus on ice dancing with partner Meryl Davis. Davis and White begin their medal quest today in the ice dancing competition at the Xcel Energy Center, their sights on qualifying for the world championships in March. ... By the time White was about 7, his skating coach realized that hockey was hurting him artistically. The coach suggested trying something new to help him stretch out and straighten up. "I didn't have great posture (from playing hockey)," White admitted. "My coach wanted me to get into dance."

I don't know a lot about hockey. Is posture important?

I can't think of anything else to say here, so I'll leave you with this: "This is my brother. And this is my brother's new girlfriend and she is NOT a whore!"

White Has No Trouble Making Transition From Hockey To Ice Dancing [San Jose Mercury, via Deuce of Davenport]

To repeat, we almost lost to Latvia. Population 2.3 million, which is slightly less than Chicago. Their entire navy consists of 797 people. But they played the U.S. to a standstill in the opening round of Olympic Group B, despite having only two current NHL players on their roster and employing a 39-year-old goalie — former NHL player Arturs Irbe (who, you may recall, almost had his career ended in 1994 when he was bitten by his own dog). We can't imagine what actually happened in this game; when we picture it, all we see is Latka Gravas sitting alone in the stands wearing his white mechanics jump suit and waving a small Latvian flag.

So what's next for the U.S. team? Losing to the Cayman Islands? A 4-1 drubbing by Yemen? A scoreless draw with Kazakhstan? Oops, that last one is our next opponent, actually. Um, go USA!

U.S. Hockey Ties Latvia in Tournament Opener [MSNBC]
U.S. Hockey Team Fit to bet Tied With Latvia [San Diego Tribune]