How Deadspin Fucked Up The Cory Gardner Story

On Wednesday, Deadspin published a story questioning the football bona fides of U.S. Rep. Cory Gardner, a Republican who's running for the Colorado Senate seat currently occupied by Democrat Mark Udall. We fucked up. After the story was published, the main source we'd relied on reversed himself on a key point, and… » 10/16/14 3:01pm Thursday 3:01pm

John Rocker Made An Ass Of Himself On Survivor

As ready-made Survivor villains go, John Rocker was always a bit too good to be true. A beefy dude with a hot temper, a notorious past, an empty head, and a (presumably) well-stocked bank account? Fans might have been rooting for him to stick around for hate-watching purposes, but there was no way he was going to… » 10/09/14 4:56pm 10/09/14 4:56pm

According To The NFL, NFL Security Is Incompetent

The NFL has given ABC News a detailed account of the league's attempts to obtain information about the night that Ray Rice was arrested for assault, and it portrays NFL security as a stunningly incompetent organization. As told to ABC News by NFL spokesperson Brian McCarthy, the NFL attempted to obtain information… » 10/06/14 11:44pm 10/06/14 11:44pm

Nate Silver, Inspired by Ferguson, Tells Idiotic Arrest Story

Nate Silver, a man frequently hailed as the future of journalism, gave a master class this evening on How Not To React To The News That Doesn't Involve You (Ferguson edition). In short, don't make it an occasion to tell the story about That Time You Were Arrested (as a white man) and the cops were actually nice and… » 8/14/14 3:33am 8/14/14 3:33am

Scores Of Idiots Don't Realize Fox Is Airing Last Year's Daytona 500

Update: See bottom for newest idiots Fox News and ESPN. Today's Daytona 500 is currently in a weather delay, so Fox is airing last year's edition. Many NASCAR fans are incapable of reading the ticker at the bottom of the screen, and are live-tweeting the race out in excitement. Here are some of those dumbasses, as… » 2/23/14 4:38pm 2/23/14 4:38pm

Morons Complain About Female Announcers On ESPN

Beth Mowins and Kara Lawson handled announcing duties for last night's BYU-Gonzaga game from Spokane. Mowins is one of ESPN's best on the play-by-play mic, and Lawson is an established star as an analyst. Turns out a lot of brain-damaged misogynists had a problem with basketball knowledge being spat at them by smart,… » 1/26/14 9:00am 1/26/14 9:00am

Why Buying "Stock" In A Football Player Is Incredibly Stupid

So much for the dumbest business idea of the year. Last month, Arian Foster announced that fans would be able to buy stock in his future earnings as a "brand", which was preposterous for a number of reasons we listed at the time (read those below). This month, Arian Foster is out for the season, and his partner… » 11/12/13 6:30pm 11/12/13 6:30pm

Howard Kurtz's Shocking Revelation: He Can't Read

How does multi-platform conflict-machine Howard Kurtz crank out so much coverage, people wonder? Maybe it's easier to write a lot of media criticism if you don't read the media you're criticizing. So today Kurtz finds—for two different outlets—a dark shadow in the sunny coverage of NBA player Jason Collins' decision… » 5/01/13 6:07pm 5/01/13 6:07pm

With Their First Regulation Loss, Chicago Blackhawks Suddenly Suck

The Chicago Blackhawks were blown out on Friday, 6-2, the latest disappointment in a season full of … oh. Hmmm. It seems the Blackhawks had begun this season with an NHL-record streak of points, and that this loss dropped them all the way to 21-1-3. Their winning clip looks like an elite save percentage. In fact, no… » 3/09/13 7:42pm 3/09/13 7:42pm

"Take That Nigger Off The TV, We Wanna Watch Football!": Idiots Respond…

NBC pre-empted the first quarter of tonight's 49ers-Patriots game to show President Obama's speech at the Newtown memorial for victims of the Sandy Hook shooting. As you might expect, many football fans didn't take kindly to this. (So, too, some Bob's Burgers fans.) Here are those idiots, led by someone who claims to… » 12/16/12 12:57am 12/16/12 12:57am

U.S. Swimming Star Allison Schmitt Brings Out The Worst In Stupid People

The Internet is full of idiots. You don't really need to be told this. But last night after the 4x100 medley relay, won Allison Schmitt helped deliver a new world record for with a 53.25 freestyle split, it seems the idiots decided to provide their input on the interview Schmitt provided alongside Missy Franklin,… » 8/05/12 5:07pm 8/05/12 5:07pm

No, Jason Whitlock Did Not Just Tweet Out His Social Security Number

Say what you will about Jason Whitlock, but the man is not stupid enough to actually tweet out his Social Security number, is he? Not tonight, he isn't. According to a public records request, Whitlock was born in Indiana in 1967 and has a SSN that starts with a number between 303 and 317. (A SSN that started with 407… » 7/18/12 8:07pm 7/18/12 8:07pm

I'm Pretty Sure David Brooks Just Blamed The Penn State Riots On…

We missed it over the weekend, but our man Pierce found this little turd of cultural intellection dropped by the Upmarket Jeff Foxworthy. Here's David Brooks responding to host David Gregory on Sunday's Meet the Press (if you're unfamiliar, Meet the Press used to be the Buffalo Bills pregame show). Their subject is… » 11/16/11 12:15pm 11/16/11 12:15pm

Mike Ditka Is Angry About The Walter Payton Book He Hasn't Read

I'd bet all the money in my pockets against all the money in yours that Mike Ditka hasn't read Jeff Pearlman's revelatory biography of Walter Payton, which was excerpted in this week's Sports Illustrated and which has the Chicago media scurrying to find any old Bear willing to glower at a book he hasn't read either.… » 9/30/11 12:04pm 9/30/11 12:04pm

Dallas Man Explains Why He Got Dirk Nowitzki's Face Tattooed On His…

"When Dirk lifted the Larry O'Brien and the MVP trophy it was the greatest sports moment of my life. I sports-cried, called a high school friend that does tattoos and have been on a Dallas Mavericks championship high ever since. Now I realize that I will be sitting on a big German man's face for the rest of my life." [ » 6/23/11 11:55am 6/23/11 11:55am