The race, which covers more than 1,000 miles of frozen-tundra-that-is-not-Lambeau-Field, began last week with dozens of riders vying for the title of, oh, who knows — Iditarodian Lordship. Granted, watching men in bulky coats mush tired dogs is not a fun spectator sport, but the challenges of the race are plentiful. Sure there are the elements, the condition of the dogs, and trying not to get fucking lost in a snow-covered desert, but there's also the threat of freaky hallucinations. Last year's Iditarodian Lordship, Lance Mackey, is currently in the lead again this year, but told reporters he's started seeing things on the most recent leg:

On Thursday night, he was riding the sled and saw a girl sitting by the side of the trail doing something, probably knitting.

"She laughed at me, waved, and I went by her and she was gone," Mackey said of his hallucination. "You just laugh."

He's in bat country! Granted, no, most Iditarod hallucinations aren't "Fear And Loathing"-level, but they do liven up the story line a bit. In fact, one site devoted to helping sled dogs has a pretty good rundown of the ghosts, trains, goblins, and ghouls that roam the tiny alcoves of Idiatrod sledders' fragile, eggshell minds.

Here are some of my favorites from past competitors:

• "I was exhausted and had already begun to hallucinate during the last hour of traveling, seeing the small people of the woods, hearing low-flying airplanes in the middle of the night."

• "I've seen villages, freight trains and cabins that were not there"

• "I saw animals-a rock pile became a bison, a stump became a moose."

• "I was home from school, about 7 years old, standing in my grandmother's kitchen with my chin just about counter height, watching, smelling while Granny slathered a slice of homemade bread with bacon grease."

I can't wait until they see the reptile zoo. Remember the golf shoes.

Defending Champ Mackey Reaches Eagle Island [AP]
Official Site: Iditarod [Iditarod.com]

The year was 1988. The Redskins beat the Broncos 42-10 in the Super Bowl. The film Gorillas in the Mist teaches us how to love once again. George H.W. Bush chooses Dan Quayle as his Vice Presidential running mate. And at KTUU-TV in Anchorage, Alaska, a plucky 24-year-old sports broadcaster named Sarah Heath is giving Knicks highlights and making snide remarks about Tommy Lasorda. Do not be frightened by her large hair: Everyone was wearing it like that then. Even the men.

Who would have thought that the young lass would grow up to run the great state of Alaska, and then be asked to the Big Dance by John McCain? Certainly not the news anchor guy shown in this clip, who appears to be a weird amalgam of Ron Burgundy and Carl Monday. Just think: If McCain wins, we will have the only Vice President who has once given Iditarod highlights.

Thanks to brave tipster DW for this find.

Take Paul Gebhardt, for instance. A participant in the Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Race in Alaska, Gebhardt fell out of first place on Tuesday when his sled slammed into a tree at the edge of a frozen lake. The impact broke the rope between the dogs and the sled, and Gebhardt was left alone in the 1,100-mile race from Anchorage to Nome as "his dogs sped across the lake without him," according to the AP story.

This is where the story begins to resemble a dream one might have after a night of many margaritas and bean burritos:

"Gebhardt trudged up the trail for two miles toward the eighth checkpoint of Nikolai before hitching a ride with (another sled team driver), who had problems of his own when three dogs fell through some ice. (The driver) took Gebhardt another two miles before dropping him with a group of buffalo hunters on snowmobiles. Gebhardt borrowed one (snowmobile, not buffalo) and caught up with his team 10 miles from Farewell Lake. They were still running."

Why this sport is not in the Winter Olympics is beyond us.

Iditarod Leader Roams With Buffalo After Crash [MSNBC]

The Kuskowim 300 is essentially a feeder race for the Iditarod Sled Dog Race, and last week, the race was postponed for a few days because of temperatures that reached 60-below. 60 below.

How cold is 60 below? A couple of participants demonstrate in a short video featuring a cup of water that pretty much makes it clear that we will never, ever go cover the Kuskowim 300.

Freezing Water [PutFile] (VIDEO)
Kuskowim 300 [Official Site]