1. When everyone says the team won't miss a beat without Tony Dungy, that practically ensures the opposite will occur. The Colts face the 2009 season without the quiet strength and NO FAG HAGS policy of former head coach Tony Dungy. In addition, offensive coordinator Tom Moore and offensive line coach Howard Mudd both retired due to pension issues (though the Colts rehired both men as consultants and plan on having each continue performing their old jobs in some sort of unofficial capacity). Virtually every article written about the team this offseason has implied that the transition to new head coach Jim Caldwell will be utterly seamless. He's been around the team forever! Peyton does all the coaching anyway! Caldwell's just like Dungy, only darker! Most people won't even know the coach is some other dude now! I've seen any number of supposedly foolproof coaching handoffs in NFL history go awry to believe that shit. COUGH!richiepetitbonCOUGH! This all but guarantees that Caldwell will be a flaming shitwreck.

2. Marvin Harrison is no longer around to secretly threaten the other team with gun violence. One would assume MarHar will be picked up by some team at some point before Week 1. Then again, perhaps teams are purposely avoiding Harrison because they know that, when the night falls, he becomes Messy Marvin, Philly crime lord par excellence. It makes you wonder if Harrison's quiet intimidation of NFL defenses in the past was the result of actual physical intimidation, and not graceful route running, as so widely assumed.

3. It's never a good sign when your toughest player is a safety who misses ten games a year. Bob Sanders skipped the team's OTA's this spring due to "the physical demands of the 2008 season," according to the Indianapolis Star. That physically demanding season included appearing in just six games. Pfft. What a pussy.

4. DALLAS FUCKING CLARK. It's not that Clark sucks, of course. It's that he's just so terribly annoying. As I and others have pointed out, he's always around to bail out Peyton Manning right when the Colts seem dead in the water. So fucking aggravating. Hey Clark, why don't you go stick a Freeze Pop up your dick?

5. Remember, the Colts are always a Manning injury away from 5-11. Don't think it can happen, Colts fans? Well, that's just what Patriot fans thought about their supposedly durable little hero last year. It can happen. And, given that everyone seems to think it'll be another 12-win, business-as-usual year for Indy, it probably will. "CUT THAT MEAT!" isn't as funny when Peyton has to say it to Dr. James Andrews.

Astonishingly, the Indianapolis Capital Improvement Board underestimated the cost of running the stadium on a day-to-day basis. Now they're $47 million in the hole and thinking maybe they should get more money, so of course they want to tax the bejesus out of things like booze and food. The bastards always tax the things I love the most. Should the tax proposal fail, the CIB isn't above scare tactics.

CIB President Bob Grand said Friday that the organization won't have many choices if the Legislature doesn't approve the bill.

"If you want me to give you worst-cases, I mean the worst-case scenario is we could be out of money and the facilities would be, arguably, closed," he told 6News' Norman Cox.

That would certainly take care of the Colts' famed home field advantage. Hey, now this doesn't seem like such a bad idea after all.

CIB President: Stadium Could Close If Deal Isn't Reached [TheIndyChannel.com]

After missing most of 2007 with an injury, Harrison saw a huge dip in his production this year with career lows (not counting the injury year) in catches, yards and touchdowns. Oh, and there was the whole matter of him maybe taking a shot at someone. (Alleged! Possibly!) The move saves the Colts $7 million and reminds everyone yet again, that it doesn't matter what your name is once you've outlived your usefulness in this league.

Who knows if Harrison—who was very shaky this year—catches on somewhere else, but it will also end the most prolific passing combo ever. Manning and Harrison hold NFL records for completions, yards, and touchdowns by a quarterback-wide receiver duo. Of course, if he throws Peyton's trash in the dumpster on his way out the door, that could be one more.

Harrison's Indy days are done [NFL.com]

Yesterday, ESPN's LZ Granderson, a gay black man, stepped up and apologized for ignoring Dungy all of those years over the former Indianapolis coach's strident Christian beliefs . Granderson said that he realizes now that the coach's motivations were a little less divisive than he first suspected:

This is why I am apologizing for not coming to your defense. While gay marriage is an issue about equal treatment under the law, what the black community is dealing with is a crisis that threatens its very existence. As an NFL coach, you have not only talked about the crisis, you have followed your heart to do something about it — working with some of those misguided men through prison ministry as well as through mentoring programs in Indianapolis. In retirement, you plan to do even more work and will likely have a greater impact on black men's lives working full-time to help save our community than you did in your 31 years in the NFL. I'm not suggesting your work cannot and does not stretch beyond the black community, but I believe the research illustrates a greater need there.

Fair enough. But Granderson's not getting off that easy — especially from Cyd Zeigler Jr., president of Outports, who says that Dungy doesn't deserve any sort of apology, especially from a gay man:

Dungy isn’t just against gay marriage, he’s against homosexuality. He’s against one of the main aspects of my identity – of who I am – that defines every gay man, whether we want to admit it or not. And he is vocal about it. Many sports casters, coaches and players have lost their jobs because they are racist or sexist; The same standard should hold for homophobes. Instead, Granderson gives Dungy a pass because he’ll be reaching out to black men to help them set their lives straight. He’ll be using his ministry to do that: Dungy will be preaching the “good word” to help lead more black men to salvation. But it’s that same ministry that is the foundation for Dungy’s anti-gay beliefs and anti-gay political positions. To me, Granderson is saying: “I’m OK with you spreading your anti-gay interpretation of Christianity, because black men need your help more than gay men.”

Well, can they both be right? And then there's old-timey Minneapolis Star sports columnist Sid Hartman, who just thinks Tony Dungy is the downright saintly. But Sid's readership seems to thinks the old fella is just nice to everybody:

I agree that Dungy was a GREAT man...But, in the past year [Sid] has written similar articles about Carl Pohlad, Bobby Knight, Brad Childress, Joe Mauer, etc. So when you write about a man truly as great as Dungy it loses credibilty because Sid has written similar things about people who are not as special as Coach Dungy.

Yeah. Get your act together, Sid.

Dungy does not deserve a pass for his anti-gay actions [Outsports]
Dungy's Greatest Work Still Ahead Of Him [ESPN]

Yes, they won the Super Bowl in 2007 and even did it with a comeback win over their arch-rival Patriots, but is getting over the hump just one time enough to erase all the other disappointments and false starts?

As usual, Manning was merely good against the Chargers. He kept his team in it, he didn't throw the game away with stupid decisions (and didn't even get the ball in OT), but if you're looking for Montana or Elway-esque heroics, you're just not going to find them here. I hate when announcers make excuses like "heart" and "determination" and "the will to win," but when you ask what separates Manning from those guys, I'm not sure what else to call it.

In other words, if the NFC hadn't sent Rex Grossman and Co. to try and stop him that year, Peyton Manning is Dan Marino with better acting chops.

Chargers Thought Peyton Manning Was Reading Their Defensive Signals [Fanhouse]
Fraudulent MVP Pey-Pey’s Long Hair Fails Him and Other Wild Kardkkake Moments [KSK]
Peyton loses in the 1st Round Again! imagine that. [A Lifetime of Defeats]

Yes, with his 364-yard, three-touchdown, come-from-behind effort, the Peyton Manning Fathead is suddenly cool once more. Although that wall looks a little busy; who is this kid, Lil' Ronnie? But still, it's an improvement over his previous decoration.

So are the Colts the hottest team in football? Will every child now requite a Manning Fathead, or at least Dallas Clark? NBCSports' Mike Celizic, for one, is not impressed.

The Colts’ eighth straight win put them in the playoffs for the seventh straight year and gave them their sixth straight 11-win season. Those are impressive numbers, but they’ve been compiled mostly against second-tier teams. And most of the wins have been agonizingly close.

The Colts started the season 3-4 and didn’t start rolling until an 18-15 win over the New England Patriots on Nov. 2. The following week, they beat the Pittsburgh Steelers, 24-20. Since then, they’ve beaten a string of losers and few of them have been easy: the Houston Texans by six, the San Diego Chargers by three, the Cleveland Browns by four, the Cincinnati Bengals by 32, the Detroit Lions by 10 and now the Jags by seven. That’s eight wins, with just two of them by more than a touchdown.

But isn't eight straight wins, well, eight straight wins? With their knack for winning games late, I don't see the Colts really being outclassed by anyone in the AFC right now. As long as Manning stays healthy — oh no, look out! — they have as good a shot at making the Super Bowl as anyone. Right? No? OK, sorry.

Wonder what's on that kid's computer screen? Let's take a look and ... oh. So that's how the middle school janitor got those cheerleader photos.

Super Bowl Ready? Colts Have A Long Way To Go [NBCSports]
Manning Keeps Streaks Alive [IndyStar.com]

Questions here. Are ESPN readers going to know what the symbol means? It's a given that the blog crowd will get it, but the typical WWL reader — especially those who avoided any classes higher than pre-algebra — may be confused. And why is this story relevant, pray tell? Should we also compare Venus to Serena? Hank to Hal Steinbrenner? Which Menendez brother is more insane? Rather pointless.

And besides, shouldn't it more accurately read (Eli Manning) > (Peyton Manning) > (Cooper Manning)?

Could Eli Manning Be Better Than His Big Bro? Yes [ESPN]

Rosenfels turned it over three times as the Colts somehow won, 31-27. How bad are things for the Texans right now? Their fans are actually switching over to soccer. From the Houston Chronicle message boards:

• Richard, This is absolute garbage. Let's support real futbol. Houston Dynamo—First Place in Western Conference and a team that knows how to play with a lead. — Coach H

It's all enough to drive Hank Hill absolutely freaking nuts.

Texans Fumble Away Chance At First Victory [Houston Chronicle]

* * *

Fourth Quarter

11:28 — For some reason, Manning kept throwing down to the final zeroes. I don't know if I've ever seen such a display of futile fourth-quarter passing from the Colts. I suppose we all need to see something like that once in our lives. Tonight was that time.

And so wraps up this ol' live blog. I'm pretty sure I'm doing tomorrow's Monday Night game. The 10 p.m. one, not the 7 p.m. one. (Can't make it to the first one, I'm 'fraid.) See you all then. Thank you for your sporadic support of Deadspin Live Blog, LLC.

11:26 — This is definitely a strange sight, the score. Maybe the Colts think it's still a preseason game. They even let Jared Lorenzen wear Manning's jersey. Kind of like a Make-A-Wish thing.

11:23 — We're inside the two minute warning. MORE RETRACTABLE ROOF SHOTS.

11:20 — John Madden stresses the importance of being physical. This puts a serious damper on the playbook I'm trying to sell to NFL teams, where being existential is of the utmost importance.

11:16 — I know he's been in the league for a while now, but Christ, Brian Urlacher's face is huge. If they ever remake Legends of the Hidden Temple, and Urlacher is retired from the NFL, he'd be a lock to play the role of Olmec.

11:15 — Welp, that one's pretty much over. The ball goes to Chicago, with 4:19 left. Please, for the rest of us, put in Rex Grossman. Or, better still, skip over him and put in the third string guy, whoever it is.

11:13 — Down by 16 and about five minutes left, Manning gets his legs slammed to the ground I'm pretty sure I know who wins this one.

11:10 — Half-listening, I heard John Madden say something something "bigger chunks."

11:07 — Again with Peyton Manning's fast-lipped audibles. Strange how the only product he hasn't endorsed yet is Micro Machines.

11:04 — Frank Caliendo doesn't have many more commercials to roll out his President Bush impression. I would like to see his Barack Obama impression. And, y'know, the subsequent condemnation by the NAACP.

11:02 — Chicago is just gonna take a huge lead, if that's all right with everyone. Jason McKie runs in for the score.

29 13

11:01 — Amazing. Al Michaels goes on and on about Orton's infamous Internet pictures, his wild streak, and how he's a new man. Madden builds off that by saying Orton's running game is really helping him. No way is John gonna get suckered into this salacious "Intery-Net" discussion.

10:54 — We've secretly switch the Colts' running back with Dominic Rhodes. Let's see if they notice. Nope, they still handed it off to him, and they didn't get the fourth down. YOU SON ... OF ... A ... BITCH!

10:52 — Joseph Addai comes off the field. He might be in need of new tendons. Volunteers, anyone?

10:50 — Great catch, Reggie Wayne! Oh, sure, it doesn't count, since you were out of bounds, but it was still a great catch! How about a candy bar? You're a swell player. [pats on head]

10:49 — The Coen brothers were signed on to direct Ocean's Sixteen, it seems.

Third Quarter

10:47 — Timeout, Colts. Now I have to get something out of the way here. Anytime I see Peyton Manning and Tom Moore talk, I feel like they're discussing when the next FFA meeting is.

10:44 — Listening to Manning audible, if his bursa sac acts up, or gets worse, or whatever a bursa sac does, he has a tremendous future as an auctioneer.

10:41 — Wow, John Madden absolutely trailed off on that thought. "The Colts HAVE TO GET MAD!" (John began very forceful.) Then it was all "they have to say to themselves ... football ... mumblemumble" He sounds like me when I fell asleep during that South Carolina-NC State live blog.

10:40 — Yes, indeedy, that was a fumble. You know what? The referee should be able to celebrate and do a dance in front of the coach if the officials got a call right the first time. It's only fair.

22 13

10:36 — Well, scheisst. Marvin Harrison gets the ball pawed¹ away and Lance Briggs returns the sucker for a touchdown. OR MAYBE NOT. (BUT PROBABLY YES.) They're reviewing it.

¹ — Yep, you absolutely saw what I did there.

10:35 — Okay, if the Sunday Night Football extra camera choices includes one with John Madden scribbling on it all the time, I would happily reverse my earlier sentiments and choose that camera.

10:33 — Orton with a case of the dropsies. Oh, sure, someone knocked it out of his hand, but that's not nearly as fun as saying he dropped it on his own accord. Punt that meat.

10:30 — Would you go for it on fourth down here, John? Well, no, first and foremost because it's actually a first down, but also but that doesn't mean we can't mark that square.

10:27 — Ah, dammit. I caught myself humming the Sunday Night Football theme. It's not nearly as macho as the MNF ditty.

10:25 — Greg Olsen plays for the Bears? I was wondering what happened to him. I hope catching passes from Kyle Orton isn't too much of a departure from catching them from Steve Avery.

10:23 — Remember when Tony Dungy and Lovie Smith coached together? We still have some photos of that we were going to show you during the Super Bowl a couple years ago, but we were afraid of oversaturation.

10:22 — Now that Peyton Manning finally threw a touchdown, they can break out one of his commercials from the bin. In this case, it was for Sony and Sears. I don't know if Manning has done the bi-endorsement yet, but he pulled it off well.

10:20 — Manning drops back, looks, pumps, and ... LUCAS OIL STADIUM! RETRACTABLE ROOF!

15 13

10:17 — You gotta hand it to Madden. At his age, he's still adamant about explaining the rules to us in as intricate a manner as possible. Imagine if any of us could understand him. He'd be a genius.

Suddenly the Colts are about to score.

10:14 — The gratuitous footage of a cheeseburger might be the closest thing we get to steak in this game. But I'm still holding out hope.

10:10 — Christ, is there no room in this world for a man and the sandwich he is trying to make? Devin Hester turned a touchback into a line of scrimmage on the 5-yard line.

Halftime Entertainment

I entrust most everyone has seen this by now, but if you haven't, now's your chance to sneak-watch it. For the Internet veterans, it never hurts to watch it again:

Second Quarter

9:54 — And .. field goal. Hey, despite the impressive offensive performance by Forte and the stifling defense, it still gives the first impression of horrible red zone offense and being relegated to five field goals. So I like it.

15 6

9:52 — The Colts are pumping in "Welcome To The Jungle" artificially through the speaker system. Axl Rose really isn't there in person.

9:51 — Just like before the two-minute warning, the Bears are completing forward passes. I thought that government mandated timeout would stop the momentum. I was wrong.

9:47 — Two minute warning. Two minutes until more footage of Lucas Oil Stadium's retractable roof.

9:46 — Kyle Orton completes an impressive forward pass. Something must be wrong with my TV. The Colts defender's jersey looks completely devoid of color, almost like a Bears uniform.

9:46 — The NBC candy corn graphic says it's 1st and 20 for the Bears.

9:42 — They're reviewing it. John Madden is fervent in his explanation. Using NBCEE IT technology, it appears that ... the video is much grainier than if not using zoom technology. And the replay confirms the ruling. Two points.

12 6

9:40 — Joseph Addai gets taken down in the end zone. While John Madden explains how much of the ball has to cross through and extend past the goal line, maybe it's easier just to call it a safety.

9:39 — Bursa sacked. Marcus Harrison takes him back to the 1½ hard line.

9:38 — Al and John make the assertion that Lucas Oil Stadium is far better than the RCA Dome. You mean the new one's better than the old one?

9:36 — Robbie Gould artificially pumps in a field goal, instead of letting he football naturally have itself kicked through the goalposts.

10 6

9:35 — Well well, look at Whiskey River scramble down the field. He doesn't get the first down, because he's Kyle Orton, but it's great to watch.

9:35 — Orton throws an interception, but Kelvin Hayden drops it. Don't worry, Kelvin. A Bears receiver would have done the same thing.

9:33 — THEY WERE PUMPING IN ARTIFICIAL CROWD NOISE. SQUARE ME.

9:32 — Dallas Clark is back on the sideline. Looks like his injury is healed after having it slathered with Lucas brand oil. Yes, Lucas Oil. The Cure-All Fossil Fuel.™

9:31 — And Colts' cornerback Kelvin Hayden's limbs are now damaged. Scrape him off the field, find someone else.

9:29 — All right, Kevin Jones. Time for you to run for a 50-yard touchdown, or else you are officially the third down back.

9:28 — So everyone gets GM's employee discount, according to that commercial. That makes sense. Considering they laid off everybody but eight people, nobody's using them.

9:26 — Madden during Forte's run: "One thing the Bears have been doing great is they've been blocking Bob Sanders." Forte then gets popped by Sanders dead in his tracks.

9:24 — So that's where the bursa sac is. Below the knee. I can't say I'm entirely comfortable with that being a sufficient enough explanation to make it square-worthy.

9:22 — Vinatieri wraps the field goal around the right post. On the right side. Er, the correct side. Let's move on.

7 6

9:22 — So that's why the Giants played on Thursday. So Archie Manning could watch both games in person.

9:20 — Reggie Wayne extends, dives ... doesn't catch the ball. But he didn't break his leg, so it's considered a positive offensive play.

9:17 — NFL Injuries activate! Form of: Dallas Clark! Shape of: Return unknown!

9:15 — Jimmy Kimmel, I don't really care about games I missed in the NFL last year. By the way, do you know if Sarah's doing anyt.... right, I understand.

9:13 — Finally, a run where Matt Forte looks like a rookie that makes Bears fans pine for the days of Cedric Benson. Puntin' time.

9:11 — I'm not a fan of how football players are appearing in commercials about fantasy football. It's like they're embracing the fact that normal humans get to control whether or not they are on a roster. Stay out of our fantasies, and we'll stop trying to bug you for autographs at Cheesecake Factory. Deal?

First Quarter

9:09 — If you really want Hester to have the ball in the open field and you don't trust his route running ability ... just go in punt formation on first down.

9:07 — John Madden is finding new and fun ways to love Matt Forte. "He has great feet." Not everyone has that kind of fetish, and even fewer will admit it in public.

9:05 — On a third down, pressure forces the ball out of the receiver's hands, which again is not a fumble. Nothing is a fumble if the Colts do it. Why can't they just admit that?

9:02 — Fumble/not a fumble/recovery/not a recovery? When it gets too confusing, just say the referee call was right the first time. Such a lazy way out, but it's the American way out. Play continues.

8:58 — Wonderful. Off the bingo table: An off-kilter Matt Forte-Walter Payton comparison. Al notes Forte had a better start to his career than Sweetness, but he'll be lucky to have a better end. Madden: "Or middle!" I actually haven't seen either of their stomachs for quite some time, so I'm inclined to disagree until other proof comes my way.

8:56 — Kyle Orton's passing game proves useful after all by not passing it at all. The handoff is to Matt Forte, who goes 54 yards for the touchdown.

7 3

8:53 — If you look closely, you can still see Michael Phelps's swim cap in Andrea Kremer's garter belt.

8:52 — Adam Vinatieri kicks a field goal, and leaves the field uninjured.

0 3

8:50 — A false start. A delay of game. The Colts are actually doing something brilliant. They're field testing every known deadball penalty to see if they're still part of this year's rules. If you see Dallas Clark punch Alex Brown in the scrotum, you'll know why.

8:45 — Online, I can pick my own camera angles for this game. Honestly? That was never something I put that much opinion into. Just show me where the ball went.

8:42 — Again with the circle. Again, I believe it was aimed at the center and not at Manning's coconut.

8:38 — And they're cheering Marvin Harrison because he's back from injury. Not because of that bar shooting thing. Not at all. Don't even mention that.

8:37 — Oh, that was almost a superfluous circling of Peyton Manning! They just got the three linemen in the picture instead. Although, yes, those were the only people really on camera. And I gotta say, NBC really splurged for the Madden Yellow Circle Smoother-Outer. I'm impressed.

8:35 — Budweiser: "So, uh, hey, we still got crates upon crates of this lime flavored beer. So, all that jazz we made up about it being a summertime flavor? Scratch that. Buy it always."

8:33 — Fun fact: The Sunday Night Is Football Night song was performed in Matt Forte. The new Bears running back makes his debut carry. It's very meh, which means it's like Cedric Benson never left.

8:32 — From now on I'm only buying Lucas brand oil. I'll figure out how to refine it myself. Can't be that hard.

8:29 — Hester receives a punt that was too long — yes, such things exist. But no touchdown. Only a measly "good field position" increase.

8:28 — The bursa sac seems fine. Manning so far leads the league in footsteps/second (327.8) but they're in a 4th down situation.

8:25 — As they talk about Manning's injury and the loss of Jeff Saturday, the Bears' Lance Briggs limps away from the field. Rollerball rules still in effect.

8:22 — Wonderful. Not only did we get a racing/Brickyard square marked down, but in 35 of John's syllables that were uttered, five of them formed actual words. And we're not even kicked off yet.

8:18 — John: Peyton Manning is going to be "a little rusty." I thought that position was taken:

8:16 — Intro song, which I think is the same as last year. Who's that guy in the blue jersey next to Peyton Manning? He looks just like him.

8:14 — Strikes me as kind of odd that, given Gonzaga University doesn't even have football, or did it die, that the NFL would be honoring it with its own black circles.

8:12 — Heynowwaitaminnit. They said Orton changed. I distinctly see a beard growing down to his neck.

Pre-Game Babble

Oh, before I forget, I found out this past weekend that they're re-releasing Dragon Quest IV on the Nintendo DS. What a golden time it is to be a Dragon Warrior nerd. Anyways ... sports.

What the country has on its hands is a Super Bowl XLsomethingorother rematch. Rex Grossman, instead of starting the game which inexplicably wins, is now on the bench because they were predictably losing. Noted Internet JPEG star Kyle Orton is now a changed man, which can only mean he's no longer fun. This might also mean the Bears have a chance. It's a creepy new world we live in.

Fantasy Impact

They say nobody cares about your fantasy team. Well, literally nobody cares about mine. I just signed up to some leagues just so I could pun the team name. I haven't seen who I have, checked injuries, and don't really plan on checking the rosters. It'll be interesting to see how well "Kilroy Waz-Zahir" fares against those who make 20 moves a week.

Also, TOM BRADY'S KNEE! WHAT NOW? HUG YOUR CHILDREN WHILE YOU HAVE A CHANCE!!

Did somebody say Bingo? I sure hope so, or else the next graphic will be rather awkwardly placed.

Note: The "artificial crowd noise" square is not for hearing the actual noise, but the discussion of it. Please adjust your bets accordingly.

Also, yes, there are two more years in this decade. 2009 and 2010. No year 0, the real new millennium, and all that other mathematical nit-picking that results in nobody ever getting laid after such a debate.

Today: The Indianapolis Colts. Your author is BigBlueShoe.

BigBlueShoe is not your typical Colts fan, but like all fans he's just a regular guy who knows his team is great and your team is puke. Despite what you may think or hear about him, he gets along very well with many Patriots fans. BigBlueShoe blogs for SB Nation's Indianapolis Colts blog, Stampede Blue. He feels his community of Colts fans at Stampede Blue are the best in the U.S. of A., and he thinks anyone who ever questioned Peyton Manning's greatness (Bill Simmons) is a clueless moron (Bill Simmons) who knows as much about sports as a blind, dimwhitted chimp who whores himself out for crack (Bill Simmons).

Your typical Colts fan is not me. He’s typically a pretty nice guy. He wears pulled up white socks, tan shorts, and he stares at you with that “golly gee” twinkle in his eye; the Ned Flanders of NFL fans. You see him walk into the sports bar, “okily dokily” making his way to the section showing his beloved Colts. He says “hi-diddly neighbor” to the other fans wearing Patriots, Jets, and Bears jerseys. They promptly tell him to get raped. But, as Jesus (and by extension, Tony Dungy) said, “Turn the other cheek.” So, Ned Colts Fan orders his Budweiser, sits alone in his section of the bar, and smiles from ear-to-ear as his team crushes the other teams, like the Patriots, Jets, and Bears.

After the game, Ned Colts Fan pays his bar tab and walks over to the other fans. He extends his hand and says “Hey, your team looked good. I know the score was 52-3, but they played hard and that’s what counts.” Ned truly means what he says, but the other fans simply insult Ned’s mother and toss beer in his face. Ned reigns in his anger, wipes his face with a bar napkin, and asks the bartender to give the other fans a drink on him.

“Turn the other cheek.” “What would Jesus do?” That’s all Ned Colts Fan thinks.

The bartender quietly tells Ned that he’s cut off those other fans. They’ve been drinking since 6am yesterday morning, and five hours ago they stopped using the rest room and are content to just piss in their pants. Ned turns and is confronted by Bawby Pats Fan. His hair, face, and eyes are red. His nose, teeth, and spine yellow. He opens his mouth and starts speaking in a language only South Bostonians and Klingons can understand. Ned can’t quite make all of it out, but he gets enough to know that Bawby Pats Fan thinks very highly of Ned’s wife, and would like to show her his “Big Papi.”

“Turn the other cheek.” “What would Jesus do?”

Ned Colts Fan smiles and suggests that Bawby Pats Fan, Louie Jets Fan, and Mikey Bears Fan walk with Ned to the bar next door. The four of them can watch the 4pm game, and Ned will buy everyone dinner… and a new pair of shorts.

Bawby Pats Fan responds by vomiting in Ned’s face. Bawby walks back to his boys, laughing, urinating himself, and wiping puke from his mouth with his #37 Rodney Harrison jersey. Ned Colts Fan, humiliated and berated just for trying to be nice, stands there smelling like stale beer and clam chowder.

It’s at this point in the story that I walk into the bar.

With the double barreled, NRA-approved shotgun of holy Colts fan righteousness, I blow away Bawby Pats Fan. He explodes like a zit in a fountain of green puss and cheese whiz. I knee cap Mikey Bears Fan, and I let Louie Jets Fan go so he can tell his friends (because seriously, why waste holy righteous ammo on a friggin’ Jets fan?).* I then walk over to Ned and calmly remind him that this is football fanhood, and it ain’t got nothing to do with Jesus and being “nice.” In fact, on Sundays from August to February, Jesus is a very distant second to football.

For years, we Colts fans were the butt of all NFL jokes. We were the K.C. Royals of the AFC East, getting the crap kicked out of us by quarterbacks named Grogan, O’Brien, and Zollak. We were the little brothers of the Bears, who were always good even though their coach was a clueless moron who’d taken way too many hits during his playing career. The Patriots would unretire players just to play the Colts, just for the sick pleasure of it. Even the Jets (THE JETS!) would beat Indy in playoff games.

Now, things are different. But, for some reason, after we’ve kicked the hell out of the NFL for six-plus years, fans from other teams still treat us like garbage. We extend a hand in friendship after games rather than taunt, and we get spit on. We offer a free beer. It gets tossed in our faces. We say, “Hope to see you in the playoffs!” We get answered, “Hope to see your momma later tonight?”

Not anymore.

We own you NFL, and it isn’t going to let up anytime soon. Despite what moronic peons at ESPN think, the Colts have one of the youngest teams in football. They have the #1 scoring defense in football returning all of their starters, and most of the key players on that defense are locked up long term and have only played for 4 years. Peyton Manning is only 32. Favre is 39 and still playing at a high level. So, if you think Peyton is going away, enjoy looking stupid. Marvin Harrison, who despite crappy reporting from National Inquirer wannabes like Mike Florio, didn’t shoot anyone last May. However, he is going to blow up NFL DBs this season though. I attended Colts camp and watched the preseason. Marvin Harrison now is the same as Marvin Harrison 3 years ago. Guys like Joseph Addai, Reggie Wayne, Dallas Clark, and Anthony Gonzalez are all still young and all still very good.

So, if you were hoping and praying the Colts were going to go away this season, just remember that Jesus doesn’t listen to you. He listens to Tony Dungy, and his faithful flock of Ned Colts Fans. Enjoy watching the Colts kick the “dang-didly” out of your favorite team in 2008.

*No real fans were shot in the writing of this story. If you or anyone else thinks it is ok to go and shoot opposing fans, you were sick in the head long before reading this, and need to get put someplace where the walls are white and the jackets straight. Go Colts!

***

11:01 — And Mike Hart runs to the goalline, but he's just short, and time expired. And Appalachian State holds on to w... oh, sorry. Wrong game.

Well, here's the important part. We all survived the game. Furthermore, we know exactly what Brett Favre is doing right now. I thank you for not taking a drink every time they said Favre's name. Not only because it's dangerous, but because it's not creative. Ted Thompson has already been doing that for the last month.

Catch y'all on the next live blog. Refresh the page on your way out, please.

10:59 — With 14 seconds left, the Colts call a timeout. 14 seconds left. They're down by two touchdowns. John Madden doesn't even consider this the preseason yet. They call a time.ou.t.

10:56 — BRETT FAVRE UPDATE: Brett Favre has actually been asleep for the last two hours. He's currently going through the rapid-eye moment phase of sleep. Stay tuned for further updates.

10:55 — Pierre Garcon returns the kickoff to midfield. I have trouble believing Pierre Garcon is an actual garçon. Where's his cedille? It doesn't exist. He's a dirty fraud.

30 16

10:52 — Turning briefly to the game itself, Jared Lorenzen kills the gripping, chilling, riveting comeback at the 2-minute park by throwing an interception-for-touchdown to Matteral Richardson. Lorenzen's only consolation is that Indianapolis has some really great steakhouses.

10:49 — BRETT FAVRE UPDATE: Brett Favre is only a 9-hour, 48-minute drive from Canton.

10:48 — Canton is only a 12-hour drive from Kansas City. So if you're not doing anything tomorrow, come on down!

10:46 — John Madden: You ought to see the Pro Football Hall of Fame "if you have an opportunity, or even if you don't have an opportunity, you should make an opportunity." Is there an online wiki on how to make one's own opportunity?

10:43 — Jim Zorn wanted to run the ball late in the game, but also wanted to see Colt Brennan throw. Ergo, Jim Zorn wanted to play the second half of the football game using running plays and passing plays. That's innovative thinking.

10:39 — Maybe the Redskins should have asked the Dolphins to throw in Jason Taylor's sleeves as part of the trade. You need to specify these things.

10:37 — BRETT FAVRE UPDATE: Brett Favre went with Turkey Stew.

10:33 — Jared Lorenzen throws for a first down. Is there a better name for a fat, underperforming quarterback than "Jared Lorenzen?"

10:32 — BRETT FAVRE UPDATE: Brett Favre is deciding between two cans of Dinty Moore soup. We will let you know if we find out which one he picked.

10:30 — Al Michaels wonders if there's a better name for a quarterback than Colt Brennan. Madden cant think of one. But I can. Strongarm McPassalot.

23 16

10:28 — Touchdown, Brennan to Marcus Mason. Now that Colt Brennan is already a preseason Hall of Fame candidate, John Madden doesn't need Brett Favre's fun-ness anymore.

10:25 — Fred Dean, I just want to say, not only am I a big fan of your football, but I buy your frozen breakfast sandwiches at least once a month.

10:17 — Stock footage of Redskins training camp, where they threw foam pads at Jason Campbell as he dropped back. This wasn't actually part of practice, they were just filming a remake of Super Sloppy Double Dare. Instead of the tip drill, Santana Moss tried to pick a flag out of a giant nose.

10:14 — An update on a story we brought you earlier, Brett Favre went from the plane to a van, and the van drove away. Meanwhile, Aaron Rodgers threw a bad pass in a scrimmage game, and he immediately slipped in the depth charts.

10:12 — Congratulations, Lorenzen. You were just sacked in the backfield by a 7th round draft pick half your size. Fun while it lasted, though, as a Colt, right?

10:10 — Jared Lorenzen ran for the first down. I know it's almost the end of the third quarter, but it felt worth mentioning in case seismologists discover readings on their instruments tomorrow morning, they can read this live blog and find out the reason.

10:07 — And now "Sweet Child O' Mine" fades to commercial. Yep, they stole my iTunes playlist all right.

16 16

RIVETING!

10:04 — Touchdown, Colt Brennan to Maurice Mann. The Redskins now trail Georgia by only 31 points.

10:01 — Fred Davis, according to John Madden, can do some of the things Chris Cooley does. These things include: blocking things, catching things, and making sure they can convert things on third and things.

9:57 — Colt Brennan's in the game. Jim Zorn told him they're on the island of Kauaʻi.

9:54 — I'm getting concerned. First NBC plays "Separate Ways" for the outro to commercial. Then they played "Sledgehammer." Did NBC producers hack into my iTunes during my halftime bathroom break?

9 16

9:51 — Adam Crossett kicks in the field goal. Yes, the Colts are trying out another kicker, just in case Adam Vinatieri had a Vanderjagtian breakdown this summer.

9:47 — We might not get a comparison of a WR in this game to Art Monk, but we did just get a comparison of Mike Hart to Darrell Green Madden thinks Mike Hart looks like Tony Dorsett in the face. Actually, I know what other black man he might look like.

9:44 — Oh, wow. A sign on TV:

REDSKINS
   8
2 1
8
FOREVER

Clever, clever spacing. That's a thinker's sign. That guy can finish a Sudoku puzzle in 4 minutes.

9:41 — From Darrell Green's induction speech, talking about his late father: "They said 'no.' He said 'go.' " Thanks to John Madden, he explained that quote for us. If he could have telestrated it, he would have.

9:32 — They sent Bob Costas to the Olympics, which makes sense, because that's probably what he's best known for. They also sent ... Cris Collinsworth, a former football player and current football analyst. Football is ... not a sport in the Olympics. But they sent a football analyst to Beijing. Unless they're going to make him eat donkey penis, I'm not seeing the reason to send him to China.

Halftime Entertainment

9 13

9:27 — Vinatieri could flick in a field goal with his fingers. But he uses his legs, for dramatic effect. That's the half.

9:26 — Quinn Gray throws a last-second big pass in the final seconds here. Arena Football 2 scouts in the stands take note.

9:24 — Ah, so the Colts' "First & 10" market is blue and white, to match their color scheme. So the only team whose marker will represent horrible-tasting candy will be the Redskins'. Fascinating, ain't it? Refresh your page for more such insight.

9:21 — John Madden on Jason Taylor: "I thought he lost 20 pounds, but he said he lost only 3 pounds. But he lost ... how many body fat things." No plural noun is caressed more in the English language by John Madden than "things." He does football things. There are 34.7 things left in the game. Stay tuned for some things from our sponsors.

9:20 — Madden remarks how that official review was a waste of time. I wholeheartedly agree. Now, back to watching Todd Collins running a football offense in August.

9:18 — Ah, cutoff football jerseys. Because previously were weren't convinced that these football players were in shape at all.

9:16 — Why have a montage of Hall of Famers waving at people from the weekend? Todd Collins is running the two-minute drill! This is exciting! Refresh!!

9:14 — Another one of NBC's shows, which is not a remake but a completely new idea that wasn't ganked from the Discovery Channel: America's Toughest Jobs. Next year, stay tuned for Let's See If This Urban Legend Can Be Done With Modern Technology, Using Former Stuntmen, Special Effects Artists, And A Token Hot Redhead.

9:11 — E-mail from Walkoff Walk's Camp Tiger Claw: "I hope the Hall Of Fame Game goes to 9 overtimes." There was a walkoff walk in baseball today, by the way. Can't remember who allowed it, though.

9:09 — Halloween is about three months away, and yet NBC's virtual "First And 10" marker looks like a giant candy corn. Now, since it's virtual, it's only an estimation. It's not entirely accurate.

9:07 — Andre Tippett was a New England Patriot? But he played in the '80s, and the Patriots didn't come into the league until 2001. Something doesn't add up.

9 10

9:05 — Quinn Gray refuses to be upstaged by stock footage of old men deplaning. He throws a touchdown, putting the Colts in front, provided the PAT is made. (Which t'was.)

9:03 — Bringing you an update to an earlier story, Brett Favre did indeed get off the plane. The plane did not just stay on the tarmac, then fly back to Mississippi.

9:01 — T.J Rushing scores a touchdown that's called back because of a penalty. See, again, there's another bad name for a cornerback. T.J. Rushing. For 100 brownie points and restroom privileges, who wants to say what position he should be playing?

8:58 — Jason Fabini gets called for a chop-block, which is pointed out was called because the rusher was already engaged in a block with someone else. They say if there was no other blocker there, Fabini could hit him there. That's like saying you can't shiv someone in the knee if there's a ninja in front of him fighting with nunchucks, but if there's no ninja there, then shiv away.

8:56 — John Madden's rule on snapping the ball: "Don't snap it at 12 o'clock." That seems more like a superstition to me.

9 3

8:54 — It appears some kind of football safety was scored. I happened to miss it because Emmitt Thomas's siren-sounding voice. If I ever have problems sleeping, I know who to ask me to read the phone book. But thankfully, I still have my secretive addiction to Ambien.

8:50 — Emmitt Thomas seems like one of those randomly-generated video game NFL names. You know. He'd play offensive line, next to DeShaun Janikowski and Santana Pennington.

8:47 — John Madden: "This is before the first week of preseason." Right you are, John. This game, actually, is not a preseason game, but rather a preliminary football regular season game, known instead as a "beforeactualfootballexhibition." Look it up. Wiktionary. Just ... just give me 15 minutes before you actually fact-check that.

8:46 — Todd Collins is in the game. It's probably the first time I noticed something in the actual game in about 20 minutes.

8:45 — With so many unfinished questions in the original Knight Rider, NBC is bringing it back this season. We here at Deadspin have obtained the exclusive trailer for this show. Here it is.

8:43 — I'll be honest. I had no idea it was already the second quarter.

8:42 — And, for some reason, there's an unwarranted slam from the booth on Terre Haute, Indiana.

8:40 — Jimmy Kimmel harangues us for not being able to see Adrian Peterson's record-setting rushing performance because "we only get four games on cable." Because of network restrictions, this commercial is blacked out outside of Minneapolis/St. Paul.

8:38 — And Al Michaels completely fucks over my bingo card with his professionalism and showmanship, getting through Devin Aromashodu's name with absolutely no hiccups. But I have to say he practiced that in the hotel mirror at least five times.

8:37 — Jared Lorenzen is also on the Colts. How about that. This is the first time I've seen Lorenzen on a wide-screen TV. He does have ears after all.

8:36 — Quinn Gray plays for the Colts now? If he's buried behind Sorgi in the depth charts, he'll most certainly be competing for the backup holder position.

8:33 — It's good to see Art Monk get into the Hall of Fame after so many years of unheralded, yet consistently brilliant, crime-solving in San Francisco. I hope they find out who car-bombed his wife.

8:31 — Al Michaels can't believe how young Jim Zorn looks. And John Madden can't believe that Tony Dungy is younger than Jim Zorn. Mr. Madden, while that may be accurate, coming from you I'm certain you'd say Pangaea also looks pretty young.

8:29 — The commenters pointed out the several sets of hashmarks on the field. I talked to the Fawcett Stadium groundskeeper about this, and he said that tomorrow they're having a life-size Space Invaders tournament, and they didn't have time to set up after this game. Personally, that seems like poor scheduling on their part.

8:28 — The Indianapolis "starting" defense has a guy from Temple and a guy from Buffalo. When you're picking defensive players from the MAC, you're already in trouble. But when you look to the bottom of the MAC East...

8:26 — So, a Mountain Dew commercial featuring a rhino that rams into Jack Hanna. I gotta say, that was extremely random. I hear they had a similar concept for a Dew commercial with Steve Irwin a few years ago. But I don't want to get into why they didn't film it.

7 3

STILL ANYONE'S GAME! KEEP HITTING REFRESH!!

8:23 — Adam Vinatieri gets the Colts on the board, but not before Al Michaels all but puts down his life savings on Vinatieri getting into the Hall of Fame. I think that's a good possibility. Tickets to visit the Hall of Fame are very easy to obtain.

8:21 — Jim Sorgi's inside-the-10-year-line pass gets almost picked off by Fred Smoot. Dildo.

8:20 — Joseph Addai already suffered an injury, and is out of the game. This will certainly cramp my fantasy preseason team.

8:18 — Defensive end Rob Jackson, chew your quarterbacks up before you swallow them. And use a napkin!

8:17 — Madden on Ben Utecht, who left the team: "Because of all the things he did, they could do all these other exotic things with Dallas Clark." Are they not able to get Cantonese takeout anymore?

8:15 — A bit of love for Dallas Clark, who converts the third down. Everyone adores a white slot receiver with a bit of paunch.

8:13 — Brett Favre's plane arriving in Green Bay has equal anticipation yet inverse admiration as Richard Nixon's plane leaving. Somewhere in Mississippi, Aaron Rodgers is being sworn in as Deanna Favre's husband.

8:12 — Um ... was that a giant inflatable Red Grange?

Now that I think about it, maybe they should play this game in leather helmets.

7 0

8:10 — Jason Campbell to Antwaan Randle El puts the 'Skins in the lead early. Someone tell the Colts, because I don't think they're aware the season's already begu... oh, it hasn't?

8:09 — An on-side kick to start the game for the Redskins. THEY CLEARLY WANT THIS GAME MORE.

8:08 — Al Michaels mentions how Fawcett Stadium is named after a local administrator, just in case anyone was assuming Canton, Ohio has had a 30-year-long boner for Farrah.

8:05 — Adam Schefter is replacing Andrea Kremer on the sidelines. Can guys actually do that job? I mean, obviously they can, but they'll get paid more for doing it. So it's just not cost effective.

8:03 — I swear, they gave John Madden a larger microphone than Al Michaels'. This is like one of those "which square is bigger?" optical illusions.

8:01 — They're announcing this year's HoF inductees down on the field. I'm going to keep saying it. "Tippett" is a much, much better name for a defensive back. A better linebacker name is "Blitzwhennecessary."

Pre-Game Babble

So. Why live blog the Pro Football Hall of Fame Game? Because it, along with the Super Bowl and the MLB All-Star Game, are the three most important competitions in sports today. The Hall of Fame Game is among the most routinely watched sporting events in the United States, along with one of the most heavily gambled on games. No wonder 25 of the last 28 teams to win this game went on to win the Super Bowl and 5 of the last 7 league MVPs participated in the game. (Or at least the first quarter of the game.)

Having said that, please tell me you didn't believe a single sentence in the above paragraph. The players we actually know probably won't break a sweat — Reggie Wayne will likely be running his routes in pajama bottoms, to be honest — and the outcome of the game will be meaningless and irrelevant to each teams' ability.

But ... Madden. Freakin' Madden. You've had so many months of not seeing John Madden try and keep up with the world around him. Those ... those eyebrows. (If you can still use the plural on that.) His eyebrows have plumed so well over the years, the Gramatica family often vacations to them in April.

So yes. The number of households who watch this game in its entirety probably equal the number of panelists now on Football Night In America. Which means nobody will be reading this live blog. (This means that you, kind reader, actually do not exist.) But in a way, that makes it more appealing to watch and live blog. It's the same reason "Manos: Hands of Fate" is so horribly delightful to watch.

Here's your bingo card for the night.

Special Instructions, subject to change:

• The Brett Favre square involves his name coming up in two separate quarters. Otherwise we basically have two free spaces on the card, and if we have two, why not have five? Why not just give you a goddamn bingo card with five squares in a row already punched out?

Hundreds of Indianapolis Colts fans lined up for free tickets to walk through the new Colts stadium. In a month. Now you can see why Indianapolis's advertising slogan is, "Like Detroit without the culture." Tickets to tour the stadium are going for as much as $75 online now. Some Colts fans were understandably peeved about their failure to get free tickets to walk inside an empty football stadium.

Cue the IndyStar, "Rick Paskett, a lunch-hour visitor to the Fieldhouse, stomped his foot in frustration on the brick steps outside the box office after reading a “Sold Out” sign on the door.Paskett wanted to see the inside of the stadium but won’t go online to pay for tickets that were supposed to be free to the public.

"(The tour would) be about the nearest way to get a look at it other than seeing it on TV," Paskett told the paper.

About the nearest way indeed, Colts fans, about the nearest way.

Demand for stadium tour tickets exceeds supply [IndyStar]

With all the rampant speculation about Marvin Harrison's involvement in a Philadelphia shooting (and his shady past), there has still been no conviction. And now, according to ESPN, the Philadelphia District Attorney's office isn't moving forward with the case until the Philadelphia police department comes up with some hard evidence, which, in this particular case, has been problematic.

The shooting, where two people were injured by bullets that allegedly came from a high caliber handgun that Harrison owns, is now seven weeks old and it appears most of the original witnesses in the case have been, according to ESPN, "less than cooperative." Translation: nobody's talking anymore.

This was the problem from the get-go with this case, as police were up against a neighborhood with a strict no-snitching policy and, according to our sources, one where some of its residents were clearly enhancing their stories with the hopes that they might be eligible to receive some of Harrison's millions.

There have been so many stories floating around — some advanced by police through the media, some through the media directly, some through blogs — that it appears more and more likely that unless police can scare-up some witnesses into telling them everything they know, this case will go completely unsolved and Harrison won't be charged. If he's not charged, the focus will then shift to how this story was reported and that's going to probably result in some pretty angry columnists from the Indianapolis area, who would be well within reason to question how this story was reported.

Philly D.A. wants more nvestigation on shooting case involving Harrison [ESPN]
Marvin Harrison Is Not A Suspect But Paolantonion, Florio and Smith Are [Stampede Blue]

• Colts Cheerleaders get their hair did. [Don Chavez]
• Straightening out what really happened with Bobby Petrino going to Arkansas. [The Slophouse]
• An exciting summer for Cedric Benson has just begun [Tirico Suave]
• Some impressive newfangled playbook technology. [The Wizard of Odds]
• Greg Oden doesn't share my contempt for that G2 ad. I guess injuries are part of the G2 life. [Blazers Blog]
• Jim McKay meant more in Maryland [Bromoblog]
• An ode to Mike Tranghese [35 Seconds]

Leaf tells the tale to Sports Illustrated, via Larry Brown Sports, of What Could Have Been.

It’s ironic: I had some of my storage stuff from Montana shipped down to Texas, and I ran across — I forgot I even had it — an Indianapolis Colts jersey, number 16, with LEAF on the back, that I think they had ready for draft day. I’m thinking about auctioning it off for charity. There’s no reason for me to keep it.

Of course this would not be quite as valuable as my Chicago Bears Favre jersey. Other valuable collectibles:

• Barry Bonds Red Sox jersey.

• LeBron James Knicks jersey.

• Fred Thompson White House stationary.

• Romo-Simpson wedding invitations (with envelopes).

Greatest Sports Collectible Ever? [Larry Brown Sports]
What If The Colts Had Chosen Ryan Leaf Over Peyton Manning? [The Red Zone Report]

Indianapolis Colts coach Tony Dungy spoke with kids at a high school in Tampa on Thursday and apparently he was in a mood to foment him some controversy. And not in the usual "condemning o' the gays" way. Nope. He took a shot at the rival New England Patriots being embroiled in MattWalshGate. Nothing wrong with that. What was interesting was Dungy's willingness to gloss over accusations against his team.

Then someone asked if anything happened last season that he wished he could include in the book. What followed was vintage Dungy. He seized the opening. He brought up the videotaping scandal with the New England Patriots.

"We talk about how important it is to do things the right way and have integrity so that when you do win, people can never ask that question," he said. "That's the great thing that I'm happy about with our team.

"Yes, we won. But no one is really going to ask, 'Did they cheat? Did they do things the right way?' I think our record speaks for itself and if you're a true champion, that's the way you'd like it to be."

O RLY? I seem to be remember there being some questions about pumped-in crowd noise in the RCA Dome cropping up numerous times in the past few years, most notably after the regular season game against the Patriots last season.

He'd probably blame that on the gays though. Must they be so demonstrative? Tony Dungy's version of hell must be very loud.

The witnesses and victims of the alleged crime are still being pieced together. According to some police sources, there are a lot of conflicting stories surfacing, some as a result of individuals hoping to shake down and cash-in on Harrison's celebrity. But that's expected as soon as a millionaire athlete caught with a gun in a not-so-nice neighborhood happens.

According to one source close to the story, more revelations about Harrison's character and background — disturbing, American Gangster-like stuff — are also percolating as a result of this incident. Although Harrison has been deemed one of the consumate professionals in the NFL due to his quiet nature and workman-like approach to his game, it's appearing more and more that Harrison mayhave a very dark side to his private nature that few people knew about.

Yesterday, WIP's Howard Eskin alluded to those facts on the air yesterday before he was yelling about blogs:

I have heard many things about Marvin and I am shocked. I don't want to get into it but it shocks me. I've heard too many things, I heard things which shocked me.

"I do know this. [Somebody he[Harrison] knows had $10,000 confiscated. He went back to the police station and said, that's my money. . . . Two detectives have told me that. I don't want to get into it any deeper. Doesn't that present a lot of questions to you, too?

Now, as much as Eskin is a blustery asshole on air at times, he's also not reckless and does his due dilligence when it comes to stories of this nature. Also, what Eskin said is consistent with some of the stories being corroborated by a few people close to the investigation.

The take-away: Next week prepare to hear some more things about Marvin Harrison that might erase most of the good-guy persona he's cultivated in the NFL. According to one prominent national television reporter, if Harrison gets charged in this case, all of the dirty laundry that many people have been sifting through will be revealed.

Marvin Harrison? Really? [Deadspin]