Last year, Romo's life—and that of his team—was an embarrassing and not very entertaining soap opera. He was dating an incredibly untalented tabloid star, fighting with his wide receivers (while secretly holding late-night trysts with his tight end) and the Cowboys missed the playoffs after he folded like a cheap suit during the stretch run. (Plus, there was Hard Knocks, Pacman Jones, Roy Williams, etc...) After a promising start to his career, it was looking like he might become the answer to a bar trivia question 10 years from now that would make people say, "Tony Romo? Whatever happened to that guy?"

Since then he dumped Jessica, Terrell Owens got run out of town and the Cowboys have returned to first place. Romo has found a new, less complain-y target and the giant video board is too distracting for anyone to notice his shaky footwork. Without all that drama in his life, Romo is a pretty solid quarterback. Solid enough to outsmart Andy Reid and the Eagles anyway. (Seriously, between the failed challenges and sissy field goal in the final minutes, I don't think there's any big game the Eagles can't find a way to screw up.)

Oh, there's still plenty of time for that late season collapse (despite two games against Washington and Oakland at home) and he still has a grumpy and terrible Roy Williams to deal with. Plus, you know ... Wade Phillips. But right now no one really cares about what Tony Romo is up to anymore and that should be just the way he likes it if he wants to keep winning.

Tony Romo, minus the flash, has pushed Cowboys atop of NFC East [USA Today]
Tony Romo delivers another complete performance in win over Eagles [Fort Worth Star-Telegram]

* * * * *

Here are some other big winners, who did not win quite as big:

Marmalard: That'll show those Giants for trading you for that pretty boy. Now let's get fucking druuuuunk. [Newsday]

The Indianapolis Colts: All they do is win! (*Regular Season Only) They'll be undefeated when the Patriots come to town next week. Then we'll see what's what. [Yahoo, Toronto Star]

SEC Championship Game Ticket Brokers: Another SEC game, another poor officiating job in favor of the undefeated team. They will get their Alabama vs. Florida, but not without another bit of generosity from the referees. [Mobile Press-Register, Wetzel]

Big Ten Haters: The conference's last best hope for respectability lost their quarterback and their undefeated season and now Ohio State will get yet another chance to lose the Rose Bowl. At least all our games are out of the way before Thanksgiving! (Sigh.) [Chicago Tribune, The Lantern]

Vince Young: 2-0 since taking over the reigns of the Titans. So everything's cool now, right? [Tennessean]

Finally, the Weekend Loser?: Matt Leinart: Seriously, the guy came into a no pressure, can't lose blowout and still got pulled from the game for being worse than ineffective. (One attempt, one interception.) Have you considered a career in the exciting field of electronics repair? The brochure is free!

Benson made some waves last week when he accused his former team of trying to blackball him around the league. (Fortunately, when your running back has just 10 touchdowns in three years it doesn't take much to convince people not to hire him.) Plenty of players have tried to amp themselves up for a big "revenge game" by talking a little smack—and then promptly gone out and laid a big egg on the field/court/rink, proving that the organization that cut/traded/demoted them was right all along. Yet Benson somehow found a way to deliver a career-high 189 yards and a touchdown in a 45-10 pounding of his former mates. While playing for the Bengals even!

Benson said after the game that " it wasn't a revenge day" but he wouldn't have made those comments in the first place if it wasn't. He want to stick it to the team that never believed in him and was one of the lucky few to make that dream of sweet justice come true. Of course, if Benson had ever come anywhere close to leading the league in rushing when he played for the Bears, he wouldn't have anybody to be mad at now. I guess it doesn't matter whose fault that was—indifferent coaches, lumbering o-linemen, noodle armed QBs, or Benson himself?—because the team he leads now looks like a maybe possibly legit sorta contender. For this week, anyway. And this week is all that matters.

So eat your heart out, whoever has played running for the Bears since Walter Payton retired! Those nameless hordes sure look pretty stupid now, huh?

Cincinnati Bengals' Cedric Benson basks in an I-told-you-so day [Chicago Tribune]
Bears humiliated by Benson, Bengals [Chicago Sun-Times]
Wasn't just good running [ESPN Chicago]

* * * * *

Here are some other big winners, who did not win quite as big:

Ricky Stanzi: Mark Dantonio's patented prevent defense prevents the Hawkeyes from losing their first game of the season, and Iowa suddenly finds itself photobombing the national championship picture. Good for them. Jerks. [The Rivalry, Esq./Daily Iowan]

Terrence Cody: The Alabama nose guard blocked two field goals in the fourth quarter against Tennessee to save his team's season. That guy must be swimming in free textbooks right now. [Press-Register]

Manny Acta: After a disappointing season in Cleveland, the Indians decide that what they really need is a little of that Washington Nationals magic. And they actually had to steal it from the Astros! Geez, who do you have to sleep with to not get hired as a major league manager? [PlainDealer/MLB]

Dustin Doe: The Florida linebacker could have been remembered for one of the all-time bonehead mistakes—after being stripped of the ball while prancing into the end zone on an interception return—but was bailed out by a terrible replay review and instead got the game-cinching touchdown to keep his team undefeated. Yeah, I can't wait for baseball to get this stuff. [ESPN]

Philadelphia Phillies: Thanks to poor scheduling by MLB and a little help from God, the WFC got a nice long weekend at home, so now they're all caught up on Glee. [MLB.com]

And the Weekend Loser?: Boise State. After a 54-9 shellacking of Hawaii—on the road, even—the undefeated Broncos fell three spots in the BCS standings and will likely be shut out of the BCS games, never mind the national title. Yay, regular season "integrity"! [The Associated Press]

Brittney Jane Mears, a 22-year-old Iowa student, was arrested during Saturday's game for constantly yelling at defensive end Adrian Clayborn. Turns out she has an unhealthy obsession with him:

According to a previous third-degree harassment charge, the alleged contact with Clayborn began on June 28 when Mears was given a warning against making contact with him. After that Mears continued to drive past Clayborn's workplace while staring at him, police said. According to a criminal complaint for a July 27 alleged offense, Mears sent Clayborn a lewd text message.

Honey, raise your standards for stalking. Try a pro athlete, not college. If you must, then try a big football school. At least try better than a defensive end.

Reader Brandon, who sent this along, asks the obvious question: Is this woman a) crazy? b) carrying the player's baby? c) trying to give him a route-running tip? or d) all of the above?

Mears is still being held, in lieu of only $1,000 bond, which is pretty pathetic.

Fan Arrested During Game For Harassing Hawkeye Player [Iowa City Press-Citizen]

On the left there is James Ferentz, redshirt freshman center and son of Hawkeyes head coach Kirk Ferentz, who in February signed a contract extension through the 2015 season. But it was Ferentz's buddies, freshman tight end Zach Derby and freshman fullback Tyler Christiansen, who did the most impressive work here.

According to criminal complaints and University of Iowa Department of Public Safety Associate Director Bill Searls, Zachary Merlin Derby, 19, and Tyler Allen Christiansen, 19, approached an off-duty UI police officer and attempted to pick a fight with him. The incident happened around 2 a.m. in the Old Capitol Parking Ramp, which is also home to UI Public Safety headquarters.

Police said Derby smelled of alcohol, had bloodshot eyes and slurred speech. Derby had several Bud Light caps and a martini shaker in his pocket. Police gave Derby two breath tests, one of which showed a blood-alcohol content of .207 and another showing .211 percent. After being read his Miranda rights, police said Christensen admitted breaking off the arm of a parking ramp gate at the Old Capitol parking ramp.

According to the report, Ferentz then showed up, screaming at no one in particular, and "smelling of alcohol." He was also arrested.

Isn't it time we fought the real problem: Protruding parking ramp gate arms?

Ferentz, Two Others Cited For Pub Intox [Iowa City Press-Citizen]

Podolak was embarrassed by the pictures and apologized for behavior unbecoming of a Hawkeye or, most likely, boob-inspecting a woman dressed in what appears to be the dining room drapes of my childhood home. Some other blogs are reporting on the firing and ripping apart The Wiz of Odds, one of the original sites to run the photos, for his lack of compassion. It's all just fun and page views until 62-year-old broadcasters are forced into retirement.

In for a penny, in for a pound and all that.

*****

TONIGHT: Go wish Lockhart Steele a happy birthday. I'm sure there are plenty of photos of him peering down ladies' blouses. If not, well, there probably will be by the end of tonight.

TOMORROW: The first portion of the Deadspin Civil War bet will be revealed. Oh, plus other stuff.

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Adieu.

The restroom, once a sanctuary for quiet contemplation and graffiti scribblings, for some reason in 2008 became a meeting place for the horny, the inebriated and the privileged. Here's a rundown on just what went wrong:

• Man and woman arrested for having sex in restroom at Buffalo Bills game.

• Tony Kornheiser tries to get in on the act, to everyone's disgust.

• University of Florida student is knocked flat by door of bathroom stall. Earns nickname Leah Falls Down. Poses triumphantly on Facebook.

• More stadium restroom sex; this time in the Metrodome during the Iowa-Minnesota college football game. Woman later claims she can't remember any of it.

• Rick Reilly only uses the celebrity washroom these days.

• Sen. Larry Craig's restroom indiscretions immortalized in a timeless bobble-foot collectible, courtesy of the Saint Paul Saints

• Sadly, one man did not even make it to the restroom at all.

Let's get right to the steamy girl-on-girl writing action, shall we? Oh, by the way, if you would like to be a member of the Waxing Off writing staff, please email me a Rick@Deadspin.com.

Holly:

Unknot your panties, internet. Uproariously inappropriate sexual encounters are an integral part of the college football experience. And so it is in the spirit of the holidays, the close of the season, and cross-conference fellowship that I extend the following cocktail recipe to our brethren in the Big Ten. Whether you're looking to recreate this encounter in the confines of your own home or drawing up drankin' plans for your bowl game, this little concoction will get you more than halfway down your designated highway to hell, if it doesn't kill you outright.

With approving pointing and nodding from the SEC, please enjoy the Bull Gator with our compliments:

Fill a pint glass with ice. Add vodka, and just enough Hypnotiq to turn the drink blue. Wedge a full can of Red Bull upside down in the ice, and serve with a straw and copious admonitions not to dislodge the can. As you grip & sip, the Red Bull will flow down, turning your drink a pleasant swampy green. The effects of consuming a full glass of vodka chased with a full can of Red Bull are most readily compared to Super Mario in the throes of an invincibility star. Those sparkles on your skin? Totally real. Go right ahead and run through that door, gentle reader, whether it's open or not. Trust me, you won't feel a thing.

Bottoms up, Hawkeyes. (And don't forget to check her tramp stamp while you're down there—the skank you screw may not be your own.)

— Holly is the associate editor of EDSBS and a contributing writer to Yahoo's college football blog Dr. Saturday.

————-

Ace

Dear Lois,

You were wasted at a sporting event. It happens. Granted you're old, married, and very slutty, but still. So in the giving spirit of the holiday season, I've compiled a short list of mistakes you made. Print this shit out and put it on your refrigerator next to your kid's handprint. Though I hope you learned your lesson, I have a sneaking suspicion that you'll probably need this for future reference. Here we go …

1. You failed to remove your beer goggles. When getting caught for public, irresponsible sex, it's better to have gotten it on with anybody but that fugly guy who looks like a less-hot version of the troll under the bridge.

2. You chose a bathroom as your preferred love den. A men's bathroom. While I'm going to go ahead and ignore all the venereal diseases you risked, it must be mentioned that closets are a wiser choice for this activity.

3. You went to an Iowa Hawkeyes game. Lame.

4. You drank too much wine. This may seem obvious, but it's a key point that is often overlooked. Also, this choice of alcoholic beverage is stereotypical of women your age, which makes you seem both predictable and sad.

5. You got caught. Be quieter.

6. You talked to the Des Moines Register about it. Despite what you may have thought, this decision does not make you appear victimized, just desperate.

7. You're gross. Stop it. Really, Lois, you're embarrassing women everywhere.

You're welcome. Have a great holiday and please, for everyone's sake, stay the fuck away from the eggnog.

Love,
Sam

— Sam is a journalism student in Boston who will never get tired of working "World Fucking Champions" into every possible conversation.

————-

Cari Gervin:

Sex in a bathroom stall. Sex with a complete stranger. Sex during a football game. Sex while you're so drunk you can't even remember it.

I think I can safely speak for all women in this country when I say the above are indeed the sole answers to the question, "What do women want?"

It really is that simple. Despite the collapse of Playgirl earlier this year, women do like sex. We love sex, in fact. We are crazy about having anonymous sex, as evidenced by this season's finale of "Mad Men." And of course, we love alcoholic beverages, even when the drinks aren't fruity or sweet. As for the football … well, as long as it's somewhere public, and there's a chance of being arrested, our panties are already wet.

Honestly, there is no greater turn-on than missing part of a sporting event that we've paid a lot of money to attend. Nothing is hotter than getting it on mere inches away from enough germs to staff a whole season of halfway decent plotlines on "Grey's Anatomy." And if we've had so many SoCo's and limes that we kinda gloss that part over, it's still OK. Because really, nothing gets us hornier than vast quantities of booze - unless there's a roofie in that drink!

But the thing that really makes it all worthwhile - the thing that keeps us coming (back) again and again - is that we won't remember your name in the morning. Whoops, I mean the evening. Or twilight. Whatever, 'cause you never told us your name anyway. And that's the way we like it.

— Cari Gervin is a freelance writer in the South. She blogs about her misadventures in life, love and sports fandom at Unwelcome Return.

————-

Ellie L.:

Is there anyone (of consenting age) who hasn't had sex in a bathroom? Shock G once got busy in a Burger King bathroom. Someone I know broke a sink while doing the nasty and flooded the apartment. (I swear, it wasn't me.) But as a die-hard sports fan, I'm actually wondering why I haven't done this. Sex at a sporting event should be on a "must do before I die" list for all sports fans. But then again, maybe that's why I haven't done it: I like the game too much. If I'm going to get busy at a sporting event, I don't want it to interfere with watching the game. So if you were to get freaky at a sporting event, which sport would be more ideal: football or baseball?

With football, you have the likelihood that everyone has spent hours tailgating and are well "lubed" up with liquid courage. Unfortunately, it's cold so everyone's wearing multiple layers. Also, if you decide to take a "break," there's a good chance you'll miss a good chunk of the game. At halftime, you only have 15 minutes to navigate the overcrowded bathrooms. If you successfully find a stall with some privacy, you're more than likely halfway into the third quarter by the time you get back to your seats.

At a baseball game, it's summertime so you're wearing less. Plus, with the warmer weather, there are no frigid hand issues. And c'mon, here's an opportunity to use your glove in exciting new ways. With baseball, you aren't likely to miss anything important during the game. There are fewer people so more privacy. Bathroom lines are far shorter so security is not as present. Finally, every stadium has the play-by-play on in the restroom, so you'll have an idea of how much/little time you've got. So, sex while only missing 1/18th of a sporting event? Yes, please.

— Ellie has been watching clips of the Michigan Wolverines 1997 season in an effort to erase 2008.

————-

Kate:

I'm going to come right out and say this: I have, at times, been somewhat of a public fornication enthusiast. (Hi mom!) You name a locale, I've probably given it a whirl. Glass elevators, hotel windows, city parks in broad daylight, golf courses, parochial school auditoriums, playgrounds, portapotties, concerts, bars, and more public bathrooms than I can recall. Additionally, I have certainly been known to overindulge in the fun juice on occasion. These things happen. So when I first heard about the Metrodome Sex Bandits, my initial thoughts were "eh, so what?", and also, "judge not, etc.", and also, "note to self: attempt college football game bathroom coup". But then shit got wacky.

Namely, the fact that our girl Lois seems to be blaming EVERYBODY but herself for letting this happen. Her husband for not accompanying her to the bathroom. Her hosts at the party for overserving her. And now, she's insinuating that the dude in question took advantage of her and/or that she got roofied. I call bullshit. Granted, her partner in crime hasn't been dumb enough to open up his mouth to the media, and even if he did, it's possible that it's one giant blackout for him too. We may never know exactly what went down (so to speak) in that handicap stall. But given the fact that there were a dozen or so witnesses cheering them on, I would like to think that if she HAD been taken against her will, one of them would have noticed and done something about it. I don't know much about Hawkeye-Gopher football, but I'm guessing that in general, people from the Midwest don't cheer for rape. My hunch is that if she's the kind of woman who willingly lets her friends overserve her (and in turn doesn't take responsibility for how much she drinks), then she's probably also the kind of woman who could, in theory, drunkenly chat up some dude in line at the concession stand and allow herself to be talked into lavatory copulation. Again, these things happen.

So Lois, here's my advice: own up to your mistake, shut your piehole about it, be thankful that your husband didn't leave your ass there, and move on with your life. And for crying out loud, next time, use one of the regular stalls. MUCH less conspicuous.

— Kate is currently in Vegas with her Southern Baptist mom and is probably being lectured about her vices as we speak.

His name his Ross Walsh and he's a super duper boyfriend from Linden, Iowa. He's also a member of the National Guard, which probably isn't as picky about its employee's bathroom behavior as his partner's bosses were. (Yeah, she got fired.) Unlike her, he's taking the "not immediately available for comment" route, which is wise when you consider that a creative DA could possibly ring him up on sexual assault charges. If this was Law & Order: SVU, Mariska Hargitay would have shot him already.

The woman—you remember, Lois Feldman?—has even begun implying that foul play have been involved. She claims she doesn't remember a thing about the incident (which is probably for the best), had never met Walsh before that fateful day, and didn't even know his name until she read it in the paper. That doesn't make what happened in that stall a crime, but I think the judgment of all parties involved has been seriously called into question.

Police described both Feldman and Walsh as upset, drunk and uncooperative.

Chuck Miner, deputy chief of the University of Minnesota police department, said officers tracked down Feldman’s husband. “I’m not sure how they made contact with her husband, but they needed her husband to help identify her” because she’d given the wrong middle name.

Miner said police didn’t measure the blood-alcohol level of Feldman or Walsh. Asked to respond to Feldman’s claim that she was too drunk to recall the incident, Miner said: “That’s probably an accurate statement.”

No one knows what happened to Walsh or his girlfriend after this, but apparently Feldman ran out of the Metrodome, then got a ride home from another complete stranger. Ok, fine. There's no way she doesn't end up looking worse here, because she's old enough to remember Rick Springfield's advice, so this kind of behavior is simply unacceptable.

Iowa Fan Ross Walsh Is Military And Stall Sex Hero, Lois Feldman Wishes She Never Met Idiot [Busted Coverage]
Woman in Metrodome sex incident says she was victim [Daily Times Herald]
Update: Hawk fan says bathroom sex scandal "ruined my life" [Des Moines Register]
KCCI Military Salutes: Ross Walsh [KCCI]

Reiff was approached late Friday night/early Saturday morning by officers, who said he was "disoriented" and partially nude. He refused a blood alcohol test, and when the officers were distracted for a minute, perhaps by the "hey look over there" gambit, Reiff began a chase that lasted for 20 minutes, and took eight — EIGHT! — policemen to finally catch him.

At one point he tried to escape through a Pita Pit restaurant, in which several trays were comically knocked over. This has to be a good omen for Iowa's 2008 season, because if he was drunk and disoriented, and he was still able to break free for 20 minutes, drawing the attention of eight peace officers ... imagine what he could do on the football field, sober.

Iowa Football Player Pleads Guilty After Downtown Chase [GazetteOnline]
Recruit Leads 8 Officers On Chase [Des Moines Register]

ESPN, citing sources close to Alford, said that the Iowa coach was interested in going to a program that was not a "football-first" school, even though it meant the unusual move of leaving the Big Ten for the Mountain West.

If Alford wanted to avoid a "football first" program, well hell, what about Indiana? Speaking of that, next week will be the exact 20-year anniversary of the Hoosiers' 1987 NCAA national title; a run led by Alford, who was the first real beneficiary of the NCAA's standardized 3-point shot. Ironic that he's now even further away from the school that everyone thought he was destined to coach.

Hmm. And it's no wonder Iowa didn't bother to buy FireSteveAlford.com.

Alford Reportedly To Leave Iowa For New Mexico [MSNBC]

The Iowa football coach has struggled in recent years, and, as FireRonZook.com fans can attest, these sites can really gain traction when matters are streaming downhill. The Hawkeyes are taking no chances; they have also bought the rights to FireLisaBluder.com and FireGaryBarta.com; that's the women's basketball coach and the athletic director, respectively. If you go to either site, it will send you to HawkeyeSports.com.

They're a little too late in one regard, though; Fire Steve Alford is fully operational. Gotta be quicker next time, guys.

Iowa Purchases FireKirkFerentz.com [The Wizard Of Odds]
Fire Steve Alford

In the spirit of the Big Ten football theme we've got going this afternoon, we proudly present you with Drew Tate, quarterback for the consistently disappointing Iowa Hawkeyes, rocking out the Halloween party circuit with some pals as, apparently, the bad guys from "Dodgeball." Frankly, this is the most mannish we've ever seen Drew Tate.

This is an actual photo, taken last weekend, from the Iowa-Iowa State pregame last Saturday.

God we miss college sometimes.

How About A Beer Bong, Senator Kerry? [The Wizard Of Odds]

Well, not to imply that Alford's house is not necessarily in order and that he might not be on top of everything, but they're taking out classified ads for an assistant coaches.

The University of Iowa Athletics Department seeks applications for two assistant men's basketball coaches. These are full-time, 12-month positions, salary commensurate and include full University benefits.

Bachelor's degree required. Preferred Qualifications: Three to five years head coaching experience and a minimum of six years coaching experience at either the high school or collegiate level; demonstrated success in recruiting at the Division I level.

We've filled out our resume and sent it over. We suggest you do the same.

Help Wanted: Two Basketball Coaches [HawkCentral]

But there's a downside, of course, and anyone who was a fan of Kansas, Michigan State and, yes, Iowa can tell you how much pain this tournament can wreak. Above, via Extra Points, is a video of Iowa fans converging at a bar in Columbia, Mo., ready to cheer their Hawkeyes to an easy first-round victory.

And then everything went wrong, in a second. That second is captured, and in that second, you see all that's great and terrible about this tournament. Ooof.

Sucks To Be Hawkeyes Fans [Extra Points]

IOWA

1. Jeff Horner Induces Pee-Phobia. If you're ever in a bathroom with Jeff, watch out... he may slap your ass. And then what will you do? Surely you can't just go on holding it. That's bad for you. Probably give you cancer. Also, Horner is Iowa's best player. Watch out ... he'll be leading the Hawks beyond the first weekend.

2. Everyone Hates Steve Alford. Not just students either, every one in Iowa and I ain't kidding. Nothing too unusual about that; lots of people want the coaches of their respective teams to be fired and often Web sites are made for that specific purpose. What's unique is that Alford has been a decent coach, and this year Iowa has exceeded expecations. Problem is, Alford is in the unfortunate position of being constantly compared to football coach/god Kirk Farentz because they came in at around the same time. But it's not just wins and losses that matter to the fine people of Iowa. Alford is perceived as a douche bag who appears in commercials for fancy suits and acts like a king when he walks into local restaurants.

3. Iowa Vs. Iona? This is a serious potential Elite Eight matchup. FANTASTIC. Try saying Iowa and Iona alternately as fast as you can. It's tough. How could anyone possibly explain the result of this game without mixing up the two? A glorious day awaits.

— Jason Spidle

NORTHWESTERN STATE

1. Vic The Demon Is Named That For A Reason. In one of the most noted mascot brawls in sports history, in October 1992, NSU mascot Vic the Demon got into it with Louisiana-Monroe mascot Chief Brave Spirit, after playful sparring on the sidelines turned into an ugly brawl. The Shreveport Times reported that Chief Brave Spirit ripped off Vic's head, and that Vic then "landed a series of haymaker blows." The police had to rush in and separate them. The game was televised, and footage of the brawling mascots made sports newscasts around the nation.

2. Their Head Coach Looks Like Woody Paige. Taking some of the luster off of the Demons' 15-1 Southland Conference record this season is the fact that their coach, Mike McConathy, resembles ESPN dog food gulper Woody Paige. As if that wasn't odd enough — two of their players look like Napolean Dynamite and Eddie Murphy as Buckwheat (Michael McConathay, who is the coach's son, and Clifton Lee). No one on the team, however, looks like Jim Croce, the singer-songwriter who died in a plane crash hours after finishing a 1973 concert on the NSU campus.

3. In Louisiana, Girls Are Better Free Throw Shooters Than Boys. Center Byron Allen raised his free throw percentage from 51 percent in preseason to 68 percent in conference play thanks to a tip from NSU women's assistant coach Kia Converse. Allen hit the game-winning free throw in the final four seconds vs. Stephen F. Austin. — Rick Chandler

Deadspin Printable Bracket (PDF) (JPG version)
Join The Deadspin Pool!
NCAA Tournament First Round Schedule [Deadspin]
Complete Deadspin First Round Matchup Previews [Deadspin]

2. Everyone Hates Steve Alford. Not just students either, every one in Iowa and I ain't kidding. Nothing too unusual about that; lots of people want the coaches of their respective teams to be fired and often Web sites are made for that specific purpose. What's unique is that Alford has been a decent coach, and this year Iowa has exceeded expecations. Problem is, Alford is in the unfortunate position of being constantly compared to football coach/god Kirk Farentz because they came in at around the same time. But it's not just wins and losses that matter to the fine people of Iowa. Alford is perceived as a douche bag who appears in commercials for fancy suits and acts like a king when he walks into local restaurants.

3. Iowa Vs. Iona? This is a serious potential Elite Eight matchup. FANTASTIC. Try saying Iowa and Iona alternately as fast as you can. It's tough. How could anyone possibly explain the result of this game without mixing up the two? A glorious day awaits.

— Jason Spidle