No, Iran Is Not An Apocalyptic Nuclear Cult

Yesterday, negotiations over Iran's nuclear program failed to meet the deadline. Talks have been extended, but already an emerging chorus of "I told you so" says that it's pointless to negotiate with a fanatical religious regime that views nuclear war as holy martyrdom. It's time to put this myth to rest. » 11/25/14 10:22am 11/25/14 10:22am

Iranian Wrestler Pulls Off Flip For Crazy-Ass Takedown

Iran's Iman Sadeghikoukandeh executed quite the feat against Russia's Rashidov Gadzhimurad in the semifinals of the FILA Junior World Championships. » 8/12/14 6:33pm 8/12/14 6:33pm

Lionel Messi Scores In Stoppage Time To Give Argentina 1-0 Win

Lionel Messi just ripped out the hearts of Iran, who played Argentina straight-up for 90 minutes. With four minutes of stoppage time just underway, Messi ended a 0-0 draw with a vicious strike that puts Argentina through to the knockout round. » 6/21/14 1:54pm 6/21/14 1:54pm

In Brazil, Iran Will Finally Get The Vacation They Deserve

Iran aren't a bad side. They won five of eight matches in the final round of their Asian World Cup qualifiers to finish first in their group, make the tournament, and prove themselves to be at least one of the best teams in a bad confederation. » 6/09/14 3:45pm 6/09/14 3:45pm

Iranian Olympian Comes Down With Mysterious Infection To Avoid Facing…

For 33 years, Iranian athletes have forfeited or withdrawn to avoid matching up against Israeli athletes in international competition. It was all supposed to change in London. Earlier this week, Bahram Afsharzadeh, the head of Iran's Olympic committee, said "we will be truthful to sport. We just follow the… » 7/27/12 6:20pm 7/27/12 6:20pm

Iranian Cartoonist Gets 25 Lashes For Drawing Politician As Soccer…

Cartoonist Mahmoud Shokraiyeh drew a member of the Iranian parliament wearing a soccer jersey, and so now he's now going to be lashed 25 times because this is Iran we're talking about and some of their provincial judges and politicians don't look too kindly on things like artistic expression and, I guess, how that… » 5/10/12 1:10pm 5/10/12 1:10pm

The Iranian Soccer Players Who "Groped" Each Other After Goals Could…

On Saturday, Persepolis F.C., a soccer club based in Tehran, scored a goal against Damash Gilan. After the goal, the players gathered to celebrate, as players will do. One of the players, Mohammad Nosrati, sorta stuck his hand in the ass-balls region of one of his teammates, Sheys Rezaei, as players will also do,… » 11/03/11 4:25pm 11/03/11 4:25pm

FIFA Does Not Care For You Or Your Religion

FIFA has a lot of problems right now, and given that Sepp Blatter has enlisted Placido Domingo and Henry Kissinger to solve them, they're not gonna get solved. » 6/07/11 10:30pm 6/07/11 10:30pm

Is The London Olympic Logo A Zionist Conspiracy, Or Is It Just Lisa…

There are two dominant conspiracies behind the London Olympics logo, which, if you ask Iranians and Simpsons enthusiasts, is trying suspiciously hard to be just ugly blocky numbers spelling out the year "2012." The Lisa Simpson and "Zion" theories, as well as a swastika interpretation, emerged when the logo was… » 2/28/11 6:30pm 2/28/11 6:30pm

Now Iran Wants To Wipe Cheerleaders Off The Face Of The Planet

International competitions teach us a lot about cultural sensitivity. But sometimes the kumbaya stuff goes too far. Like when cheerleaders have to cover up during one of our basketball games, lest an Iranian player pop an infidel boner or something. » 9/01/10 7:10pm 9/01/10 7:10pm

Iran "Retires" Soccer Players Who Went Green

Four players on the Iranian national team have been banned — err, retired — from competition for wearing green wristbands in their Wednesday match. Two others also defied orders to remove the green gear, and their fate is "unknown." [Guardian] » 6/23/09 4:45pm 6/23/09 4:45pm

How Do Iranian Soccer Players Protest? Very Carefully

Iran's soccer team may have found it difficult to concentrate on their World Cup qualifying match in South Korea today, since their country is, you know, engulfed in the cleansing flames of democratic awakening. » 6/17/09 3:35pm 6/17/09 3:35pm

Iranian National Team To Play Utah Jazz. I See No Way This Can End Badly

Before it heads over to Beijing to compete in Olympic basketball competition, the Iranian national squad will play a series of exhibition games against NBA summer league teams at Salt Lake Community College. The Islamic Republic of Iran playing in Utah; kind of makes that North Carolina-Duke rivalry seem childish. » 7/10/08 9:00am 7/10/08 9:00am

Live Blog: Iran Vs. Angola

You might be sitting there at your computer, saying silly things like, "Why would I need a live blog of a game between Angola and Iran? Isn't there an excellent Mexico vs. Portugal game right next door? » 6/21/06 11:00am 6/21/06 11:00am

Sad Days For The Iranian Baseball Team

In light of the news that the government of Iran is banning athletes "with an effeminate look," we send our condolences to the Iranian national baseball team. For a while, you probably had a chance to talk A-Rod into playing for you guys. But now, man, you're not gonna get any of these guys. Sorry. » 5/09/06 12:15pm 5/09/06 12:15pm

Four Tiny Tidbits On: Iran

The World Cup is ominously close! So that you aren't caught offside (they have that in soccer, right?), we're previewing all the participants, bringing you Four Things You Don't Know About Them. If you have a tidbit, send it along to Today: Iran! And for World Cup previews that are even better than… » 5/02/06 2:30pm 5/02/06 2:30pm