Deadspin: ireland

Old Logic: France Surrenders. New Logic: France Cheats

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 02:00:00 EST

Ireland's World Cup dreams die, and France's live on, thanks to a goal that saw two strikers clearly offside, and a pair of blatant Thierry Henry handball assists to boot. The Irish, as you might expect, aren't taking this well.

First, make the decision for yourself:

Now, let's see how they're handling it among headline writers across Ireland (and the UK, no friend of France). With their customary grace and subtlety, I'm sure.

Irish Times: "Handy Henry Ends Ireland Dream In Paris"

Evening Echo: "Handball Cost Us Our Dreams"

The Sun: "Le Hand Of God: Cheat Henry Does A Maradona"

Irish Independent: "We Played Like Lions, But South Africa Will Miss A Hell Of A Guest"

Daily Mail: "Hand Of God II: Thierry Henry Confesses He Cheated To Rob Irish Of World Cup Place

The Independent: "Hand Gaul! Ireland Furious As Henry Snatches Victory"

Looks like we've got a full-blown controversy on our hands. Could this be the meltdown that finally leads UEFA to consider instant replay? Who's UEFA's president again? Michel Platini? Never mind.

All The Mutton, None Of The Bustin'

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 18:45:12 EDT

Brainstorm! What if, instead of having scared little children try to ride sheep, we strapped stuffed animals to their backs and made the fuzzy little guys race? Leave it to the Irish to take mutton sports to the next level.

Welcome to the Sheep Racing Grand National in Leghowney, Ireland, the Emerald Isle's premier ovine gambling event. Even a global recession can't bring down this sport. Nor can it stop a bored Irish website writer from breaking out every sheep pun imaginable....

"Ewe wouldn't believe it if you didn't see it!' joked one lucky punter who said he'd won $100.

"I was fleeced!" said another who said his sheep was still wandering round the course.

And one thing's for sure. Nobody pulled the wool over his eyes!

Classic, classic. The jokes also go well with this sentence: "The first-ever Sheep Racing meeting, which took place last year, drew a record attendance." A record in the first year? Impressive. Not as impressive as an Elmo doll piloting a young ram over bales of hay, but still a good effort.

Betting fans flock to Ireland's first sheep racing festival [IrishCentral]

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Thank you for continued support of Deadspin. Please, Barry, Don't Hurt 'Em will bring on the night. Sorry about that earlier unpleasantness, Yanks.

Irish Sports Minister Doesn't Believe A White Man Will Ever Break 10 Seconds in the Hundred Meters

Clay Travis — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 15:45:28 EDT

For shame, Marten Cullen, for shame. In the wake of the 2008 Olympics Ireland's sports minister is tired of the country focusing on sports that they clearly can't win. Instead he wants to bring business to bear on sports via the competitive advantage of nations theory. What kind of sports should Ireland give up? Well, sprinting for one. Why? Because, of course, that's for black people.

"Obviously, unless you're black and African you're not going to do well in sprint or middle distance," he says. "We'll get the odd one coming through, like a Sonia or an Eamonn Coghlan, but we'll deal with them as they come. But the likes of the javelin, the discus, the pole vaulting, these are the ones being won by white Europeans. Physically and mentally we're suited to them, and it's easy to see how we could do well here."

What other sports should Ireland be focusing on? Why, good Irish ones like swimming. Also, cycling. "Cycling is one we have a tradition of, and it's a realistic target for us. Look at the countries who are winning in the cycling. They are white European countries. It is nothing we couldn't do. But, again, you need to be ruthless."

Ruthless, indeed.

Suddenly, a voice of reason in our theater of Olympic dreams [Independent]