There is no better way to celebrate the beginning of the Lakers-Celtics NBA Finals. Too bad we can't see the short shorts!

Also to help get you in the mood, Magic Johnson and Bird do some reminiscing over at Fox Sports. Game 1 in just a few short hours, everyone!

Magic, Bird Revisit Captivating Rivalry Of The '80s [Fox Sports]

The New York Daily News reports this morning that Isiah will specifically not be allowed to talk to any players. Nice gig, if you can get it.

According to a team source, Thomas has been barred from having any contact with the team as part of his reassignment agreement with Knicks president Donnie Walsh. Such an agreement is critical for a new coach as he tries to reestablish a winning culture at Madison Square Garden and distance himself from the Thomas regime.

Thomas is responsible for acquiring every player on the current roster and the fear is that if he were allowed to have any contact, including telephone calls, he could either willingly or unwillingly undermine the incoming coach.

As The Legend Of Cecilio Guante points out, that makes Isiah a tremendously well-paid secretary (and coffee boy for Jim Dolan). Isiah is making $18 million to stay away from his employers. The man was a genius all along!

Isiah To Be Paid $18 Million To Fetch Coffee [The Legend Of Cecilio Guante]

We saw the complete decimation of one of sports' most proud institutions under Thomas, and it's going to take years for the Knicks to dig themselves out. (And by years, we mean "probably at least five.") What made Thomas unique, though, was his dogged insistence that matters were always looking up, that he was just about to turn a corner. He is like our President in that way, except he looks better in a suit (and, uh, seems to know less about, you know, sports). It was a special thing for us all to witness; it's difficult to imagine anyone have such a limitless opportunity to wreak havoc on such an epic scale in the future. In this way, Isiah was unique, special.

So, until Isiah is officially let go today, let's all enjoy, as we once put it, "Isiah Thomas' Knicks Legacy, Summed Up In One Possession."

We enjoyed this eulogy by Frank Isola of the New York Daily News, on the unfortunately named "Knicks Knation" blog. A highlight, discussing Isiah's claim that he rides the subway to work and is accosted by Knicks fans:

But let's say that back in 2004 Isiah is on the subway and is spotted by someone, preferably a Knick fan. Would that Knick fan a) Avoid speaking to Thomas, b) Say hello to him, c) Ask him for his autograph or d) Challenge him to a fight because he traded Charlie Ward and Howard Eisley to Phoenix for Stephon Marbury?

Really now?

But that's Isiah, he just talks and talks as a way of distracting people - especially Dolan - from judging him on his record. The only time Isiah talks about his record is when he is referring to his playing days. And make no mistake about it, he was a brilliant point guard. We all know that. But as a coach and a president, he is an abject failure. He could never accomplish what Pat Riley, Jeff Van Gundy, Dave Checketts and Ernie Grunfeld achieved here. They got New York. Isiah Thomas is just a clueless tourist whose trip is about to end.

As a clueless tourist ourselves, with no loyalties to the Knicks ... we beg James Dolan and Donnie Walsh: Please reconsider and keep Isiah around. We miss him already, and he's not even gone yet.

Sorry Isiah, New Yorkers Not As Dim As Dolan [New York Daily news]

Thomas' poor trades and personnel moves alone have caused the Knicks to get hit with $137 million in luxury taxes during the last four years (the N.B.A. calculates the threshold for the tax every season based on a complicated formula). In 2007, the team paid $45 million in luxury taxes; to put that in perspective, only four other teams incurred the luxury tax at all last season, for a total of $10.3 million, meaning that the Knicks paid four-and-a-half times more than every other team combined.

Thomas has expressed his desire to "still be a part of the organization" in some capacity after this season, but that decision is entirely up to Walsh. Even an unpaid internship seems like a reach at this point. (Ed. Note: Yeah, because then he'd have to sleep with Stephon.)

The Isiah Thomas Tax [Portfolio]

The New York Daily News, citing an unnamed source, reported Thursday that owner James Dolan prefers to keep Thomas on the sideline, though he won't stop his next executive from making a change. "There isn't a basketball executive alive who would keep Isiah as head coach, but Jim is telling whoever he interviews, 'I would prefer to keep Isiah but you do what you have to do,'" the source close to Dolan told the Daily News. "If Isiah isn't the coach, Jim still wants him to stay in the organization in some capacity."

I can't imagine anyone taking that job and agreeing to Isiah weighing him down for his first season. So if Isiah is out, then what? Would he even want to hang around the organization? Well, Bob Knight is probably tired of his rather lifeless ESPN gig by now, so Isiah could step in at the WWL next year, stop ruining the Knicks, and still be ours to enjoy. Everyone wins!

Report: Knicks Owner Wants To Stick With Isiah [MSNBC]
Could This Be The End Of Our Isiah Hero? [Deadspin]

Now that former Indiana CEO Donnie Walsh seems set to head to the Knicks, the clock is now officially ticking on the end of Thomas' tenure at MSG. Right? RIGHT?

If Walsh is being hired to replace Thomas as the Knicks' president and brings in a new GM - former 76ers GM Billy King or the Nuggets' Mark Warkentien, for example - logic dictates that Walsh also would want to hire a new coach.

But Dolan has not always used logic when making major decisions, as evidenced by the fact Thomas is still working at the Garden. Also, Walsh has a good working relationship with Thomas, having given him his first head coaching job, with the Pacers. Yet a person who spoke to Walsh yesterday doubted that Walsh would keep Thomas as his head coach.

Come on, Donnie ... think this over now ... you realize how historic Isiah Thomas' stint has been, don't you? You get it, yes? How can you end this? How can you take this away from us?

It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

Source: Donnie Walsh Strikes Deal With Knicks [New York Daily News]

Well, kind of. Thomas' Dale And Thomas Popcorn has bought naming rights to the Kernels' stadium.

A new era has begun for the Cedar Rapids Kernels Baseball Club. The Cedar Rapids Kernels and Dale and Thomas Popcorn announced today a five-year field naming rights partnership. The field at Veterans Memorial Stadium will be named the "Dale and Thomas Popcorn Field at Veterans Memorial Stadium". At the press conference held today, Kernels President Tom Barbee officially announced the partnership between Dale and Thomas Popcorn and the Kernels.

It is perhaps telling that the press release announcing the move doesn't mention Isiah's name at all. Apparently Thomas' stewardship of the Knicks has made him persona non grata even in the world of minor league baseball.

Still, though: It's almost Isiah Thomas Stadium. That place is gonna catch on fire and fall apart in a matter of weeks.

New Ere For Veterans Memorial Stadium [Kernels.com]
Get Your Isiah Popcorn Here [Deadspin]

What Would Oakley Do? has a grand roundup of what has gone wrong since that day, but allow us to step in the Deadspin Wayback Machine to do our own recap. Remember: Anucha Browne Sanders had already filed her lawsuit, one year ago. Dolan should have known. But if he had known, jeez, we would have missed out on so much fun.

• April 18: The Knicks finish the season 33-49, losing 15 of their last 19, and miss the playoffs.

• September 10: The Isiah-Sanders trial kicks off.

• September 11: Sanders testifies that Isiah, when discussing corporate sponsors, said, "Bitch, I don't give a shit about these white people!"

• September 12: Stephon Marbury admits to having sex with a Knicks intern in his truck. The intern was rewarded with a promotion.

• October 2: A jury rules against Isiah and the Knicks.

• October 19: Isiah forgets he traded away Dan Dickau.

• November 13: After a fight with Isiah over playing time, Marbury bolts on the team during a road trip.

• November 14: Marbury implies he has dirt on Isiah that he will use if he's not let back on the team. He is let back on the team.

• November 28: Reporters covering the team call the assignment "hell."

• November 29: The Celtics beat the Knicks 104-59.

• December 11: Isiah blames the fans for his team's struggles.

• December 19: Madison Square Garden ejects a fan for holding up a "Fire Isiah" sign.

• February 21: The chant "Fire Isiah" breaks out in Philadelphia.

There's much more of course ... but we only have so much bandwidth. Happy anniversary, everybody!

Mission Accomplished Redux [What Would Oakley Do?]

While Isiah was busy trying to escape from Hell, Chris Paul was busy creating new and better realities by scoring 27 points, dishing out 8 assists, and leading to three clutch scores - two shots and an alley-oop pass to Tyson Chandler - in the Hornets' 100-88 win over the Knicks. Chandler got into the act with 15 points and 18 rebounds. Jamal Crawford led the Knicks with 20 points on 20 shots, and Eddy Curry made the most of Zach Randolph's absence by scoring 19 points on 8-for-11 shooting. Fun fact: Randolph had a magnetic resonance imaging test on his right foot Monday afternoon to confirm a bruise. This of course differs from the standard method of bruise confirmation, which typically consists of looking at it.

• Beware the rage of Dirk Nowitzki. I guess that Sunday's four-point overtime loss to the Lakers upset him more than anybody knew, because Dirk pulled a Kevin McHale on Andre Kirilenko during the first quarter of the Mavericks' 116-110 loss to the Jazz. Seriously, this was a bad one. Bad enough that I very nearly couldn't laugh at the comical image of Kirilenko getting wheeled off the court in some kind of bizarre wheelchair thingie. Amazingly, in this age of Guys Can't Even Stand Up Off The Bench Without Getting Suspended For One Game, Herr Nowitzki was called for a flagrant foul but wasn't ejected from the game ... despite the fact that the Utah crowd nearly rose from their seats en masse to strangle him. The Mavs came back from a 21-point deficit to take a late-game lead before going into their trademark Fourth Quarter Collapse mode as the Jazz scored 16 straight points to clinch the victory. Deron Williams had 17 points and 20 dimes for Utah, Mehmet Okur added 20 points and 12 rebounds, and Carlos Boozer carried the scoring load with 28. Josh Howard led the Mavs with 25, Dirk added 23, and Jason Kidd contributed 19 points and 9 assists. Update: The Russian Rifle bruised his right hip and was taken to the hospital for X-rays, which showed no break.

• I know you don't care about this game...but you should. Really. The Philadelphia 76ers notched a 106-80 victory over the Clippers. It was the seventh win in the their last 10 games. They've now moved into the seventh playoff spot in the Eastern Conference. And Andre Miller is the reigning Eastern Conference Player of the Week. They're a legitimate playoff threat now. Seriously. Okay, you're not buying any of this, are you? Yeah, I didn't think so. Fine. I'll cut to the chase: Philly's decent, Clippers suck, Andre Iguodala led six Sixers in double-figures with 18, Al Thornton was manly with 20 points and butterfingery with 10 turnovers. Oh, and it was Maurice Cheeks' 100th win as the coach of the Sixers (versus 124 losses). Yeah, I think that about sums it up.

It's particularly amusing in the wake of the great Zach Randolph "possession." How young we were back in July 2007 ... how little we knew!

(Actually, we all knew. Except for Stephon. And Isiah. We're sure Zach knew, though.)

We've actually watched this a few times and find it mesmerizing. Knicks basketball: Destined to be like this for the next five years ... at least!

Never, ever fire Isiah. We beg of you.

Z-Bo Being Z-Bo [Posting And Toasting]

We know the 76ers have been playing better, but the Knicks lost by 40 points. The 76ers fans were actually chanting "Fire Isiah" as a sort of healing chant; it's as if they actually felt bad for the Knicks.

Why did the Knicks play so bad? (They're 22 games under .500, the fourth-worst record in the NBA.) Because ... they're worried about being traded?

The "Fire Isiah! chants followed Isiah Thomas from New York. So did 48 minutes of wretched basketball. Even the excuses — this time Thomas blamed the looming trade deadline as a distraction — came with the Knicks' latest humiliation.

The Knicks had turnovers on almost every possession in some stretches, took bad shots and trailed by 46 points in the third quarter.

That's kind of brilliant: A last-place team distracted because they're so excited by the possibility of being traded from the last-place team that they can't help but play terrible. May the Isiah Thomas Era never, ever end.

'Fire Isiah!' Chants Follow Thomas To Philly [The 700 Level]

The Knicks lost their sixth in a row last night, by nine to the freaking Clippers. The whole world's coming to an end over there. Frankly, with all the other news going on in the world today, it would be the ideal time to fire Isiah; people might not even notice.

In case you needed a reminder of how bad it is over at MSG, here's a firsthand report of what it was like at the Garden last night. These are described as "the only times there were noise."

#9: A between quarters race where two munchkins had to put on a pair of shorts, jersey and t-shirt before hitting a layup.

#5: A slightly more emphatic round of boos following a third quarter where the Knicks were outscored 28-14.
#3: A fat guy carrying a sign with the numbers 18-1 written in black marker makes his way around the arena.

We can't pile on the Knicks anymore, other than to point out again that today's the ideal day to fire Isiah, so we will note what a Boston fan told us about the growing "18-1" chant: "It's the worst, because it's like the '1918' chant, but there's absolutely no way to make it stop." That's true. Ouch.

Welcome To The World's Most Silent Arena [The Legend Of Cecilio Guante]

Anyway, he's talking to Daulerio's gang over at Philadelphia Magazine about just how awful it all was.

Brown accused the Knicks of having "spies throughout the arena" during his one season with the team in a story in the February issue of "Philadelphia" magazine. Brown also complained about the way he was treated by the organization.

"Imagine when you get to work, they don't talk to you," he said. "They had security people standing close to me in press conferences, and spies throughout the arena."

It's worth noting that Brown was paid $18.5 million to leave the Knicks. But still: What's crazy about this story is not whether it's true; it's that, because it's the Knicks, it doesn't even seem the slightest bit shocking. Security people intimidating you? Spies? Why not? It's the Knicks!

Larry Brown Says Knicks Had Spies In The Arena [Associated Press]
Larry Brown In Winter [Philadelphia magazine]

Some New York Giants players were interviewed by media at halftime of the Knicks-Celtics game yesterday, but when reporters tried to talk to a fan who was being ejected — you'd be amazed how often this is happening at Knicks games right now — matters went dangerously awry.

I would estimate that a dozen ushers surrounded the three reporters, including myself, physically blocking our path and berating us for not listening to their orders, not "respecting" them and not letting them do their jobs. I explained that, in truth, it was the other way around. The security staff was keeping us from doing our jobs. One reporter was physically restrained and had his credential torn off his neck.

I've gotten to know a few ushers and security people at the Garden over the past couple of years, and like them. But I don't envy their jobs. I don't envy anyone who has to work in this place, under these conditions. It's sad, really, is the best way I can put it.

Honestly, this might be one of the most depressing sentences we've ever read in sports journalism: "I don't envy anyone who has to work in this place, under these conditions." Sigh. For months, we've encouraged the Knicks to hang onto 2007 SHOTY winner Isiah Thomas for raw entertainment value. But we dunno; he's turning that place into a toxic swamp. Maybe we should get him out of there before the Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers arrive.

Newspaper Reporters Vs. Garden Security [Newsday]

And now, kids, you have your chance. The Knicks are advertising for a "Public Relations Coordinator."

The ideal candidate will have a Bachelors degree with a minimum of one year public relations experience preferably within the sports industry. Strong knowledge of basketball and the NBA is required. Must have excellent communication, organizational and follow up skills. Candidate must possess strong writing skills with creative abilities. Familiarity with public relations teams is also required. Must have excellent presentation, interpersonal and multi-tasking skills. Proficiency on Microsoft Word and Excel required. Must be flexible to work games including evenings and weekends.

Does this sound like you? Oh, it also helps to have a nice ass and a willingness to sleep with the point guard. In his truck.

Public Relations Coordinator [NBA Jobs]

• How Bizarre. (Sorry, Drew.) Area 51, that ghost in Three Men and a Baby, the New York Knickerbockers ... you know, some things are better left unexplained. Zach Randolph had 25 points and eight rebounds as the Knicks cruised — cruised! — to an 89-65 victory over the weary Pistons, who barely avoided the worst offensive performance in franchise history. "I just got off the shower, washed it off," Chauncey Billups said. "I washed it right off on that shower. Got to forget about that one. That was bad." Question: How does one get "off" the shower? What type of shower heads does Madison Square Garden have? Did Steve Francis install them?

• Win, You Stupid Fucking Dinosaurs! Win! Was anyone else a little disappointed that Suss decided to live-blog the NFL playoffs instead of the Blazers-Raps game yesterday? Anybody? Anyone? Anybody? Guys? Anyone? Oh, me neither. Chris Bosh had 38 points and 14 rebounds as the Raptors beat the Blazers 116-109 in double overtime to hand Portland their second loss in 19 games. Brandon Roy had a career-high 33 points in defeat.

• This Is Why You Never Go For The Rebound, Kids. Andrew Bynum, a key cog in the Lakers' longest winning streak in nearly four years, sprained his left knee in LA's 100-99 victory over the Grizzlies. With just under nine minutes left in the third, Bynum went up for a rebound. As he came down, his left foot landed on top of teammate Lamar Odom's foot, causing his left knee and ankle to turn awkwardly. He'll undergo an MRI later today. (Free lollipops!)

• Hawk Off. The Armadillo Cowboy (Joe Johnson) lassoed in 37 points, including 25 in the first half, as the Hawks — KREE-EEE-AR! — beat the Bulls 105-84 to end a 12-game losing streak in the series. 12 games! That's almost a baker's dozen! Josh Childress added 14 points, nine boards and a few afro pubes for Ben Wallace's face in the win.

Garden chairman James Dolan recently told confidants that he knows a coaching change must be made and that he is preparing to do just that.

Now I must know which one of Dolan's advisors slept in this morning and forgot to cut out the NBA glance in the daily paper, replacing it instead with a coupon for Honey Nut Cheerios.

Source: James Dolan Leaning Toward Firing Isiah Thomas Before Season's End [New York Daily News]

Isiah's heroic rise from a No. 8 seed was inspiring to anyone whose heart is not cold, withered and dead. He joins the late, great Barbaro as SHOTY winners. Hopefully Isiah survives the title.

Also, a great run for Kige Ramsey, who finished as the runner-up. There's always next year, Kige.

Thanks everyone for voting.

(Graphic by the moonwalking Jim Cooke.)

Via Marc Berman's Knicks Blog: a duo of NYK die-hards — Genovese from Yonkers and Gustapo from Queens — and their new rap song, "Fire Isiah." If this doesn't break Zeke, nothing will!

A few of the lyrics:

I been reppin' the Knicks, lil' kid around the mid eighties,
Bernard King, Cartwright, shorts tight crazy,
Patrick came, Mark Jackson came,
Pat Riley, Van Gundy showed us the D game,
Starks grabbed his jersey always repped NY,
Oakman and Mase always played with pride,
Last of the true Knicks Camby and Kurt Thomas split,
Now here comes Isiah now we turned to spit,
Got the highest payroll but the worst chemistry fit,
I got "Fire Isiah" tattooed on my wrist.

Your rap-battle move, Isiah. If you need a ghostwriter, call me. I know many, many words that rhyme with "sunt." Like, off the top of my head: "cunt." (For example.)

"Fire Isiah" / First Cousins [MySpace]
Fire Isiah Rap Song [Knicks Blog]
Bob Knight, Isiah Thomas And "Sunt" [Deadspin]

Voting is open until Thursday night. So you have plenty of time to mull. Our honored finalists.

No. 2 Seed Kige Ramsey
Carried around every book he ever owned in a belt.
Visited Wal-Mart.
Actively did some campaigning.
Expanded his commercial techniques.
Enjoyed Halloween.

No. 8 Seed Isiah Thomas
Don't give a shit about these white people, bitch.
Understands what black people can say, and what white people can't.
Explained sexual harassment to James Dolan.
Got gotten by the bitches.
Successful avoided Stephon Marbury's "dirt."

The vote is in your hands.

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"I know people will laugh even more at me, but I'm hell bent on getting this accomplished and making sure that we get it done," Thomas told the New York Daily News. "And I'm not leaving until we get it done. I believe that one day we will win a championship here. And I believe a couple of these guys will be a part of that. And I believe I'll be a part of that."

Well, you're not the only person with fervent beliefs, my friend.

• "I believe that these slacks will fit." — Mangino

• "I believe that Tom Brady, Ben Affleck, etc., had better watch their bitches" — Kige

• "I believe that an onside kick is prudent now. We'd be stupid NOT to try it." — Stoops

• "I believe that Bob Saget is funny (kill me)." — Conan O'Brien

• "I believe I will head out to the Hamptons and ride my horse, Prickly Pete." — Costanza

• "I believe I'll stop into my office and check my mail ... oh shit ..." — Cam Cameron

• "I believe I'll have another Suzy Q." — Weiss

Isiah Thomas Predicts A Title [New York Daily News]

"We'll keep moving in this direction," Thomas said. When asked what direction that would be, he responded, "Me as coach." Happy New Year, Knicks fans.

Thomas then called a closed-door meeting with himself, after which he reported that he may have been fondled.

• Scottie Pippen, Making Friends. How does one lobby for a head coaching job in the NBA? By ridiculing that team's current players, naturally. Scottie Pippen is playing it very wise indeed, on Monday telling the Chicago Tribune that Ben Gordon and Kirk Hinrich shoot too much, among other things. Pippen said that Gordon is "out there shooting for a contract" and that "taking bad shots is a sign of a lack of respect for your teammates. You think I'm going to run back if I know B.J. Armstrong is jacking it up?'' Pippen said, the newspaper reported. ''My shot is just as good as his. That's what players think ... You can't have midgets running your backcourt. Little guards always put you in a vulnerable position."

Still The Coach [New York Post]

The title matchup will be on Monday, and it looks like Kige Ramsey has himself a slot. But this one should close. Screw Iowa: The polls are already open here.

No. 4 Seed: Elijah Dukes

Explored the possibilities lent to us by cellular technology.
Impregnated a foster child.
Became a sports radio star.
You divorced, dawg.

No. 8 Seed Isiah Thomas
Don't give a shit about these white people, bitch.
Understands what black people can say, and what white people can't.
Explained sexual harassment to James Dolan.
Got gotten by the bitches.
Successful avoided Stephon Marbury's "dirt."

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It's a big week coming up, very busy, so vote tonight and on New Years Day, and we'll be back with a full slate on Wednesday. Be safe out there tonight.

The San Francisco Zoo remains closed today as authorities investigate the fatal mauling of New York Knicks' coach Isiah Thomas, whom witnesses say was seen taunting a Siberian tiger at the railing of a sealed grotto on Tuesday. The incident ends a sad chapter in Knicks' history, as the large jungle cat finally accomplished what New York protesters could not. Ignoring fans' pleas to fire the embattled coach, Knicks president James Dolan only last week gave his support to Thomas ... plus a complimentary Zoo Pass with coupon good for a free endangered animal ring tone. The Knicks honored their unfortunate coach on Wednesday by charging out and losing to the Orlando Magic, 110-96.

"Siberian tigers tend to become aggressive when exposed to shooting percentages below 35 percent," said wild animal expert Roger Smale, curator of the San Diego Wildlife Park. "Tigers appreciate sound defensive principles and teamwork. Sadly coach Thomas was in the wrong place at the wrong time." The Magic had lost four straight at home before Wednesday's victory, getting 26 points from Hedo Turkoglu and 25 from Rashard Lewis.

• Trouble In River City. Believe it or not, the Celtics hadn't won in Sacramento since 1996; until Wednesday, when Paul Pierce scored 14 of his 16 points during a 33-5 run in the second quarter, leading Boston over the Kings 89-69. And just for the record, there is nothing more fun than driving out to watch the home team put up a big 69. Fun.

• It's All About ME. Every single child in America owns at least one Monta Ellis jersey, and for good reason: The Big ME scored a career-high 35 points to lead Golden State over Minnesota 105-101; the Warriors' fifth straight home victory.

• Motor City Madness. Are you starting to get the feeling that the Pistons are planning a big party at the end of the season? No looting, Pistons' fans! Richard Hamilton scored 22 points as Detroit shot 78 percent in the third quarter, beating the Nets 101-83. It was the Pistons' sixth straight win.

If Isiah Thomas acknowledges the protest at all — and he's just dumb enough to do so — he'll probably point out something idiotic, like his famous "we're missing layups because you're booing" comments. (Here's a whole great list of Isiah quotes over the last few years.) But we think the small number of people showing up for a protest is indicative of a fact far more damning than righteous fury; it's impossible not to be apathetic about the Knicks right now. Sure, Isiah inspires much ridicule, and pretty much everything he says digs himself a deeper hole (in the most entertaining way) ... but when you're at the game, you really can't hear him. The games themselves — save for last night — are empty, sullen slogs meandered through by tall men who don't care. For all the incompetence and sexual harassing going on at the Garden, the games themselves are brutal. That's why people don't care ... and that's probably why there's only two dozen people protesting the Knicks, and why Isiah Thomas still has a job.

Outside The Garden, An Eight-Foot Pink Slip For Thomas Seeks Change [New York Times]
Isiah Thomas Quotes [InsideHoops]

It happened late in Monday's Knicks-Pacers game when a fan seated one row behind the Knicks team bench and only a few feet from Isiah Thomas held up a sign calling for Thomas' ouster as team president and coach. Garden security invoked the arena's "signs and banners policy," which states that "any interference with the enjoyment of another guest's experience will result in the confiscation of the sign and/or possible ejection from the facility."

Interference with the enjoyment of another guest's experience? Then technically, shouldn't Isiah be forced to leave his seat?

Or, as a Times' commenter suggested, what if a couple thousand fans all showed up to the next game with 'Fire Isiah' signs? Does security break out the water cannon?

Just to be safe and helpful, the New York Daily News included a full-page "Fire Isiah" sign in this morning's editions. We disagree, though; as we've said before, we don't want Isiah to ever, ever leave.

Pink Slip For Thomas? Fan Says Sign Right Here [New York Times]
Fan Ejected For Holding 'Fire Isiah' Sign [New York Daily News]

So, let's get right to it:

No. 1 Seed Ron Mexico
Suffered some weed-stashing problems.
Appears to have electrocuted puppies.
Fessed up.
Mercifully suspended by the NFL.
Checked into prison.

No. 8 Seed Isiah Thomas
Don't give a shit about these white people, bitch.
Understands what black people can say, and what white people can't.
Explained sexual harassment to James Dolan.
Got gotten by the bitches.
Successful avoided Stephon Marbury's "dirt."

So, let's see how this turns out.

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What is "sunt," you ask? Well, Isiah almost tells you, but backs off after looking at Coach Knight, who looks like he's about to rip his young protege's throat out. It's a highly entertaining video.

We think this might serve as a reminder of where Isiah got his world famous "bitch" mindset from. Many have ascribed it to the hardscrabble streets he grew up, but let us not forget where Isiah learned his coaching acumen. Of course, there's one main difference: Bob Knight can, you know, coach.

What Isiah Thomas Learned From Bobby Knight [The Big Lead]

Last night, after the Knicks lost yet again, Somehow-Still-Coach Isiah blamed the shitshow the franchise has become on the fans.

Thomas apparently had heard enough. Late in the game, he could be seen debating some fans sitting near the court. One of those fans, Mara Altschuler, was so enraged by the discussion that she sought out reporters after the final buzzer.

"He said it's the fans' fault because they don't have a good sixth man," said Altschuler, who has season tickets near midcourt. Her family has had the seats for more than 40 years, since the old Garden, she said.

Yesterday, the Knicks shed that Anucha Browne Sanders punitive damages suit by settling the case. One huge, monstrous burden off their back. One more to go.

Another Loss, But A New Scapegoat: The Fans [New York Times]

Nothing has been close so far — though that Vick race was intriguingly close — but this is the 8-9 matchup. And it's two of our favorites; both are probably underseeded. So:

No. 8 Seed Isiah Thomas
Don't give a shit about these white people, bitch.
Understands what black people can say, and what white people can't.
Explained sexual harassment to James Dolan.
Got gotten by the bitches.
Successful avoided Stephon Marbury's "dirt."

No. 9 Seed Marques Slocum
got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me.

So, vote: We're excited to see the results of this one.

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"What a joke. The New York Knickerbockers are the laughing stock of the entire National Basketball Association. Please! Someone who has some influence! Anyone who can help! From the top to the bottom, clean the house and start over! This is an absolute embarrassment. Clyde, Dollar Bill, King, Patrick, the Oaktree, Starks, **** - even Anthony Mason.. they must be hanging their heads in shame over this. I'm seriously considering a march on the Garden. I'm going to organize a public gathering, a rally outside of the Garden offices to protest what the Dolans have done to this organization. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!"

The Warriors' Baron Davis scored a game-high 31 points and had seven assists and six rebounds, with New York's Stephon Marbury finishing with 18 points. And I'm no expert, buy when Mickael Pietrus (6-6, 215, from France) is able to hold Zach Randolph (6-9, 260, not from France) virtually in check, that says loads. You really should make sure your kids see all Knicks games: It's an educational, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to see an entire franchise melt away.

• Lakers Benchmark. Here's an interesting concept: Get someone besides Kobe to score occasionally. Who knew that would be successful? Kobe Bryant finished with 32 points, but he was on the bench in the beginning of the fourth quarter, when the Lakers went on a 12-0 run to clinch a 134-114 win overthe Pacers. LA, winners of four straight, acquired forward Trevor Ariza from the Orlando Magic for forward Brian Cook and swingman Maurice Evans earlier in the day.

• How Long Will This Last? And now the Nuggets have won six straight, as Carmelo Anthony scored 26 points and Marcus Camby had 12 points and 20 rebounds in Denver's 112-91 win over the Bulls. Allen Iverson scored 22 points.

• Raptors Lead Becomes Extinct. The Raptors blew a 24-point lead and lost to the Mavericks, 105-99, as Dirk Nowitzki (32 points) hit four straight 3-pointers in the final 1:41 of the third quarter to tie it.

But this could all change, and soon. Rumors have the Knicks' brass already discussing successors; it's probably only a matter of time for the former Hoosier.

Thomas' future with the Knicks has been on shaky ground since the day he was found liable in the Anucha Browne Sanders sexual harassment case, and that shakiness has been accelerated in recent days by the Knicks' losing record — they lost their sixth straight game Saturday night in Denver — and the Stephon Marbury fiasco. Thomas could go at any moment. But the bigger questions are who replaces Thomas and who does the hiring? According to several league sources, the NBA is hoping to have some influence on Garden chairman James Dolan, and perhaps even Cablevision founder Charles Dolan, regarding such important matters.

One pictures Isiah walking into a board meeting at Madison Square Garden unexpectedly and seeing a large photo of himself on the overheard projector with a big red line through it. Oops ... awkward. Anyone willing to bet that he'll somehow survive this?

• In Hollywood, Less Is More. Wasn't it just last season that Kobe Bryant threw up an 80 on someone? He could score 50 just by falling out of bed. This season, however, he he keeps his scoring totals to less than his age; and the Lakers are winning. Bryant had 18 points — and the Lakers' bench had 73 points — as LA beat Chicago 106-78. It was the Lakers' third straight win.

• Pistons Misfire. Not only did the great Beno Udrih score 23 points to lead Sacramento over Detroit 105-95, but now the Pistons are kind of afraid to get on the plane and go back home.

• I Want To Believe. Wait Mulder, you're telling me that Stephen Jackson is back (17 points), and the Warriors have won two in a row?

Marbury's promise to dish some dirt on his coach was quite frankly what motivated me to get through the day on Wednesday, but full disclosure just was not to be. So Marbury was fined for missing Tuesday's game, was reinstated and came off the bench to score 13 points in the Knicks' sucktastic 84-81 loss to the Clippers (although Marbury made it close at the end, with a layin that brought NY within one with seven seconds left). Sigh. Marbury: "I'm positive all the way around. I'm covered. I'm fine. I feel good. I'm cool. I could walk with my head up. I feel like I could go forward and do what I have to do. I have a job to do and that's exactly what I'm going to do." While disappointing in the short term, Marbury is doing the right thing by not telling all at this juncture. Why not play out the season, get traded, and then cash in when your new book, Isiah Thomas and the Furries: Shame of the NBA, hits shelves next fall? Chris Kaman led Los Angeles with 14 points and 18 rebounds in the win. Zach Randolph (not a furry) had 16 points and 19 rebounds for New York, which has lost four straight.

• Failure To Launch. It's great to have Tracy McGrady back, because he's missed so many games that ... doh! He's injured again. McGrady strained his right elbow in the second quarter of Houston's 93-90 loss to the Lakers on Wednesday, but says he'll only be out a week. Kobe Bryant scored 30 points to lead the Lakers. Yao Ming had 26 points, 13 rebounds and five assists for the Rockets.

• Are We Insufferable Yet? First Scorsese wins an Oscar for The Departed, then the Red Sox win the World Series, and now both the Patriots and Celtics are unbeaten. Look, I have nothing against Boston, but the universe always seems to even out its playing field eventually, and I don't want to be there when it gets around to self-correcting Massachusetts. The Celtics beat the Nets 91-69 on Wednesday to improve to 7-0, their best start in 35 years. Kevin Garnett had 16 points and eight rebounds.

• Don't Come Into Hedo Turkoglu's House With That ####. LeBron James drove the lane in the final seconds with the Cavaliers down one, but Orlando's Hedo Turkoglu tied him up in game-ending jump ball as the Magic won, 117-116. Dwight Howard's 35 points and 16 rebounds led Orlando. James had 39 points, 14 assists and 13 rebounds.

Stephon Marbury, an investment that has totally paid off for the Knicks, supposedly blew up at Isiah when he learned he wasn't starting last night and bolted the team. But his threat to Isiah is the real beauty here.

"Isiah has to start me," Marbury fumed, according to the source. "I've got so much (stuff) on Isiah and he knows it. He thinks he can (get) me. But I'll (get) him first. You have no idea what I know."

Considering what we've learned about Isiah already, we can only imagine how juicy this must be. Lord, Stephon, please don't tell us he was in the truck with you and the intern. That's too much for our meager brains to take.

Stephon Threatens To Dish Info On Isiah [New York Daily News]

Apparently, Marbury has bolted the team after a disagreement with Isiah Thomas. The New York Daily News reported this morning that the Knicks were considering cutting ties with Marbury all together, which can't be good, considering he's still owed $42 million. But he has apparently taken matters into his own hands.

We are two weeks into the season, and the Knicks are coming apart. This is disappointing: We had 11 days in the pool.

Marbury AWOL From Knicks [New York Times]

• Kobe Bryant Is Bulletproof. NBA beat writers took a day off from predicting a Kobe Bryant trade as the Lakers stopped the Jazz 119-109; which included 33 points from Bryant. The game also featured Kobe's block of a dunk attempt by Utah's Andrei Kirilenko with about seven minutes remaining. That's block No. 470 of his career, bringing him within three of Hank Aaron's all-time record.

• They Did The Nash, They Did The Monster Nash. With Amare Stoudemire suffering from sore kneeitis, Steve Nash scored 30 points and had 10 assists as the Suns beat the Cavaliers 103-92. LeBron James led Cleveland with 27 points; 21 the second half.

• There's One Thing You Do Not Know: The Celtics Are Not Left-Handed. Ray Allen hit a 3-pointer with less than 3 seconds remaining in overtime, finishing with 33 points in the Celtics' 98-95 win over the Raptors. T.J. Ford tied it at 95 on a 3-pointer with 4.4 seconds left. Kevin Garnett scored 10 points in OT, as Toronto made the decision not to double-team him. Um, not wise.