So, about me quickly — I played some unspectacular college baseball at BC and Bucknell University. Academic schools, yeah, but still both D1. I probably peaked at age 13, but was still athletic enough to ground out some limited PT as a utility guy in college.

About a month ago, I got a call from an old teammate of mine who was in a bind and needed somebody to come pitch for his hardball team in Northern NJ. Obviously I wasn't going to say no, even though I haven't pitched since about freshman year of high school. I knew I had no control going in, but the gun when I was warming up said mid 80s, usually about 84-85 which is decent for these adult leagues . I used to throw a slurve, which I could no longer, and a change up, which really was like a 45mph fastball that usually landed about 5 feet in front of the plate. So, needless to say, all I had was the two seam and four seam.

I came into the game in about the second inning, bases loaded, 4 runs already in. Pitching from the stretch, I threw my first few fastballs for borderline strikes. I wind up walking one guy, striking out the next, and still only 1 out when I gave up a bases clearing double. At this point, with nothing to lose, I am just firing it as hard as I humanly can. I don't know if I can feel my arm anymore.

Anyway, I wind up flying open and nailing this big guy, the #4 hitter. He turns into the pitch, back to me, and the ball hits him right below the back of his neck below the helmet. There was probably a 2" gap between the helmet and his back, and naturally, I beamed this dude right in that spot. Definitely not a pleasant feeling.

He drops immediately to the ground, face in the dirt and doesn't move for like 3-4 seconds. He gets up and charges at me and stops about half way w/bat in hand. He is about 6'3, 225, and basically I was toast if he came at me - he had 3" inches and 35lbs on me. I felt like a dwarf. Anyway, he's cursing telling me I'm a "f'ing pansy" and that he's going to "beat the f out of" me after the game and that I "have no business being on a f'ing pitcher's mound". I think at one point he called me an amateur and and I started laughing which didn't help things. He is fired up, literally wants to kill me. Once I got a look at his face, once he stood up, he looked vaguely familiar.. like I had seen on him TV or something.

Well, I found out tonight from a friend that the guy I hit is the host of ESPN Cold Pizza, Jay Crawford. He eventually shook my hand after the game, but I'm pretty sure he wanted to kill me at one point.

Thankfully, we have a few moles scurrying around the "First Take" set who asked Mr. Crawford to confirm it. The only thing exaggerated about the story apparently was Crawford's height and weight. "He's more about 6ft. and 180-190," they said.

So he's not Brock Lesnar. But still? DO NOT THROW AT JAY CRAWFORD OR HE WILL BEAT THE FUCK OUT OF YOU.

Jay Crawford [ESPN]

Crawford, who's a perfectly serviceable talking head who is a part of that whole sexual harassment lawsuit, ended up speaking to a group of college students last evening, and he claims that Skip Bayless is, of all things, an intense studier of game film.

At staff parties celebrating the show's anniversary, Bayless would often lock himself in a room by himself and watch games instead of hanging out with his co-workers, according to Crawford. Also, if Bayless came across a great game, he would TiVo it and watch the game, play-by-play, the next day.

This is a terrifying notion. We always assumed Bayless' histrionics were the result of ignorance. But if he actually has studied and believes all this crap ... Lord a heavens, his brain is an even scarier place that we imagined.

Jay Crawford: Skip Bayless Is Bizarre [Scott Proctor's Arm]
Propelled Forward, And Into The Air [Deadspin]

ESPN: "This suit is without merit and we deny the allegations.
Atlantic Video: "This lawsuit is without merit, and we deny the allegations. This matter will be vigorously defended."

Someone's following their talking points! (Though this is not the first time Paige has been accused of something like this.)

Seriously, though: Explain to us how Paige is defended here while Harold Reynolds was canned for allegations that were far less egregious than these. It's almost as if Norby — Norby! — was playing favorites or something. Wonder if it has anything to do with HR being a Mark Shapiro guy, and Paige being more of a Norby — Norby! — guy. Just a thought. Wild guess, really.

ESPN, 'Cold Pizza' Producer Sued For Harassment [Dow Jones]
Woody Paige Sued For Sexual Harassment [Deadspin]

A woman who worked on the set of the ESPN talk show "Cold Pizza" is suing the sports network, claiming she was fired after complaining about sexual harassment by the show's host and one of its regular panelists. In the lawsuit, which also names ESPN host Jay Crawford and sports commentator Woody Paige, Rita Ragone claims that Paige pinched and fondled her and she was subjected to crude sexual comments from Crawford.

Ragone, a makeup artist and hair stylist from the Bronx, claimed Paige once grabbed her backside so forcefully, she was "propelled forward and into the air."

Now THAT'S a pinch! (Paige denies the claim.) We're not sure how one grabs someone's buttocks so hard that it propels them into the air, but if anyone could figure it out, man, it would have to be Professor Paige.

NYC Makeup Artist Sues ESPN, Claiming She Was Sexually Harassed [Associated Press]