This will mark the third Deadspin post this month about Jay Mohr's new gig, which is QUITE FRANKLY far more attention than he deserves, but golly, this is too good to resist: He's gone and got himself a blog. And it's brimming with treasure:

Many of you are "bloggers." That means you write for the internet...This is my new blog. I am going to criticize your blog from my blog.

Oh, it gets better. Let's start at the top.

I currently write a column for FOXSports.com (I am not listed on the roster of writers, but if I was, I would be listed between Eric Moneypenny and Warren Moon).

An alphabet joke! Edgy! Man alive, when they called him "darkly funny" they weren't fucking around.

I wrote a column about being the new guy, and listed some of my likes and dislikes, and the majority of the 300 comments told me that I am a has been, useless, never funny, pathetic excuse of a writer.

Clearly, we've underestimated the aggregate IQ of FOXSports fans. I've never felt closer to y'all.

I am currently reading comment after comment about how sad it is that FOXSports.com had to hire an out-of-work, has-been comedian to write for them. I would like to take this moment to publicly remind all of my readers that I can be seen every Friday at 8 p.m. on CBS on the television
show The Ghost Whisperer. That is, Friday nights...on television...as in NOT OUT OF WORK.

Holy shit, Jay Mohr is a journalist. This just in: The Ghost Whisperer: Still on television! And it's supposed to be a comedy? It all makes sense now.

Finally, for all of you that post comments such as, "FOXSports.com will let any clown write a column!" let me assure you: YOU ARE RIGHT!!!!

Oh, if only. How about Pennywise the Dancing Clown? We all float...and when you're down here (in the basement of the NFC North), you'll float too. I'd pony up ESPNInsider dough to
read "The Turtle Can't Help You, Jimmy Clausen".

If all of you out-of-work writers — by that I mean WITHOUT CONTRACT with FOXSports.com — want to continue to slam me and tell everyone what a zero I am in my message margin, I encourage you to do so.

For the record, I'm quite fond of our humble little corner of the internets, and am having only the mildest of difficulties drawing breath day in and day out without a CONTRACT with FOXSports.com, but that's very much beside the point. Just so we're all on the same page here: Mohr writes a few poorly-received columns, then constructs an entirely new forum to tell the blogosphere to keep taking their best shots? What a giver! I'm moved to charity, Jay. I've clambered atop the biggest soapbox I can find (albeit one that we've vajayjacked for the weekend), and I'm here to present you with the
negative attention you so desperately crave:

We're not taking shots at you because we're jealous. We're taking shots at you because you're screamingly unfunny.

Love from our parents' basements,
The Internets

[The views expressed herein were not written by and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of any Gawker Media employee—but seriously, Jay Mohr: Not funny. At all. Affirmed.]

-Holly/Magnolia

I find it hilarious that Los Angeles has a soccer team but no football team. Soccer sucks. Most soccer games end by a score of 2-1. If you played the entire game without goalies, it would end 9-8. ... I think the jump ball in basketball is useless and moronic ... All NBA referees are on the take. They all stink ... The WNBA is the biggest waste of television time since the last Spurs game ... Jerry Seinfeld is overrated...

Yes, you too can be a Fox columnist. Here's the formula: Take Larry King's old USA Today column format: "Is there a better cracker on the market today than Ritz Crackers?" ... make it about sports, and reverse it! You get: "Is there a worse sport today than hockey? My answer is no, unless you're talking about women's basketball." Look, I'm not saying that Mohr's columns are totally unreadable; it's just that at some point you have to ask yourself why you are reading them. How are we informed by them? How are we enlightened, or even entertained? At what point does Fox admit that they gave a guy a column just because he was in Pluto Nash?

Meet Jay Mohr: Judge For Yourself [Fox Sports]
Well, He Can Always Post Pics Of That Big Fat Guy [SportsbyBrooks]
I Am Fucking Insane [The Onion]

In his latest column over at SI.com, the poor man's Denis Leary takes a poke at Little League baseball, trotting out the weary, cliched premise that kids' leagues which don't keep score are somehow preparing our youth for pea coats and collective farming. Mohr complains that his Godson, who plays in a T-ball league for 6- and 7-year-olds, hit two home runs that were limited to doubles because of the league's no-homer rule. Also, the game was declared a tie even though his team won. Says Mohr:

I am so sick and tired of all the coddling that goes on in kids' sports these days. If your child feels bad when he gives up a home run, then help him get over it. Why not teach kids at a young, impressionable age that there are winners and losers? Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. That's what the game — and life — is all about.

We agree with Mohr that life isn't fair sometimes — like that time we had to sit through Crash, for instance. But while Mohr the neo-journalist is at that impressionable young age, he needs to be made aware of two things: First, the "Kids these days are too soft and parents are too overprotective" angle ceased to be fresh many years ago ... in fact, French archeologists have found cave paintings dealing with the subject as far back as 18,000 B.C. Second, no Little League in our wide and wonderful land implements hitting restrictions such as these all the way through every age division. It's only in some T-ball leagues — for 6- and 7-year-olds — that home runs are not allowed, and if you ask the typical child of that age how he feels about it, he won't care; he'd rather be at home playing in mud anyway.

Mohr, by the way, is a devout Yankees fan who claims that his team's traditional success has nothing to do with payroll — making him one of the last members of baseball's version of the Flat Earth Society.

Eye-Opening Experience [SI.com]

OutSports has called Mohr out for the column, saying "Mr. Mohr is a man who is apparently so terrified of sitting next to a lesbian and being in the male minority at a basketball game that he quakes with fear at the prospect of offending lesbian fans by cheering against the home team." Which may be true, but we're more offended by his "joke" about JFK being "propped up with bouts of Addison's disease." To paraphrase Seinfeld, we're not offended as a Catholic; we're offended as a comedian.

Jay Mohr: Jock Sniffing Boob [Out Sports]
I Don't Love This Game [SI.com]
This Is Who I Am [Sports Guy's World]

Funny story. Two Sundays ago we have a fantasy football draft with three people in Virginia, one guy in Finland (work reasons) and the rest of us in NJ. We go to the Yahoo chat rooms to set up a private room where we can communicate our draft picks. However Yahoo happens to be doing maintenance and doesn t allow us to create a new room. Our only resort was to hijack a room that no one was using. That room turned out to be the WNBA s Cleveland Rockers. We sat in that room for 5 hours and no fans turned up to talk about the team. We got a few stragglers here and there but, that s probably because most of them were wondering what the hell six people were doing in the Rockers chat room.

WNBA Finals Rundown [Women's Hoops Blog]
This Is Who I Am [Sports Guy's World]
Mohr: I Don't Love This Game [SI.com]

(Update: A reader informs us: "One reason the Rockers' chatroom may have been empty is that the team folded after the 2003 season." Ha. Yeah. That might be it. As we said: Don't watch much WNBA. Sorry.)