According to the Pittsburgh Tribune Review, police were at McFadden's, a bar across the parking lot from Heinz Field, when they spotted a man, now identified as Spaeth, standing next to a white SUV and urinating in public. When officers tried to give him a ticket, Reed got out of the SUV and confronted them. The rest, as they say, is history:

"The officers told him several times to get back in the vehicle, but he did not listen," Davidson said. "Mr. Reed then squared up with an officer by bringing his fists up." Officers tackled Reed and cuffed him at the scene, Davidson said.

"He smelled of a strong odor of alcohol and appeared to be intoxicated," Davidson said.

You don't say? Reed was charged with simple assault, resisting arrest, disorderly conduct and public intoxication; all misdemeanor counts. Spaeth got a pee-pee ticket and both were released. And the anti-pissing-in-parking-lots gestapo win another round. Is there no justice in the world?

Steelers' kicker Reed cited for public intoxication [Pittsburgh Tribune-Review]

It seems that earlier that fateful evening, Reed made a "scheduled appearance" at a nice little place called Castle Pub in Ebensburg, PA. One hundred and fifty Steeler fans paid an $8 cover to meet the legendary kicker/party man in person and ... get this ... he was already drunk when he showed up!

Black and gold fans who showed up to see Steelers kicker Jeff Reed at the Castle Pub in Ebensburg on Friday Feb. 13 said he was late and visibly drunk....

Marisa Slaventa said, "They said something about being at IUP [Indiana University of Pennsylvania, just up the road] before they came. They didn't know where that was and now they were in Ebensburg and ready to party"...

Reed was reportedly refusing to sign autographs and only dancing and taking shots with girls at the bar.

Many fans like Slaventa and Ropp left the bar disappointed.

What? You shelled out eight smackers for a guaranteed chance to see Jeff Reed in person at a place with its own liquor license—what did you expect was going to happen? A PowerPoint presentation on special teams strategy? You paid your money to watch him do kamikazes with young women, whether you knew it or not, and frankly ... you won that hand, cowgirl.

In fact, maybe he smashed that poor towel dispenser later in the evening because he was disappointed in you? Did you ever think of that?

Pittsburgh Steeler Disappoints Local Fans At Cambria County Bar [WJAC]
[Photo via Busted Coverage]

If you don't remember, the Steelers jocose placekicker acted out of character two Saturdays ago by throwing a terrible towel temper tantrum at the Sheetz in New Alexandria, Pennsylvania. The bathroom was out of paper towels at 3 in the morning. Naturally, this was just cause to bitch out the employee behind the counter. Monday he pleaded guilty to criminal mischief and operating under the influence of puffy nipples, both misdemeanors.

I happened to be in the area, driving right past that very gas station. (See, when I'm not writing for this sports blog, there's also a full time, actual job that pays the bills, wherein I write for a sports blog under the pseudonym "Michael David Smith.") There was only one Sheetz in the hamlet of New Alexandria, so it wasn't difficult to find.

But first, a side note on Sheetz. We don't have them on the swampy side of Ohio or in Michigan, but holy shit, what a great concept. It's not that just because the food is amazing — although it is — but that it's available 24 hours a day and there's a variety beyond the normal gas station frightening pre-wrapped "sandwiches." (Hard boiled eggs AND chicken sandwiches? Fuck dieting!) If there were Sheetzes across the country, society would probably crumble as we know it, for everyone would fall into one of three different states of mind at any time: eating food from Sheetz, looking forward to eating food from Sheetz, and pooping. And in many cases, all three states will happen simultaneously.

Now then. The centerpiece of Mr. Reed's vandalism occurred in the bathroom, a room which most gas stations already neglect enough. So I just had to find out in what condition the bathroom was.

The hardest part, though, was finding an opportunity to take a picture inside the bathroom. With so much traffic — again, the food is heavenly but it will admittedly do that to you — it required patience (read: "circling around the candy aisle") until I surmised the room was empty. Once I thought it was vacant ... oh, wait, there's an 8-year-old in there. Having that little dude tell his mom that "there's a man with a beard and a camera" inside the restroom probably isn't what I'm going for. (Although that would give me a chance to meet the officer who cited Jeff Reed.)

Finally the coast was clear, and here's what I witnessed:

Conclusions we can draw:

• Well, they both work. I think that's a new gas station record for "quickest maintenance on a bathroom facility."

• I can understand if one was empty, but ... both of them? Really? They were at least full when I visited, although that's because it was dinnertime on a Tuesday. Still, to see two towel dispensers and have both full of nothing but oxygen might even make me a little pissed. I can empathize with Reed a little. On the other hand...

• ...Dude, there's a hand dryer right between the towel dispensers. What this means is there was a fucking hand dryer right between the towel dispensers. Does he hate modern technology? It's not like he could miss it. It's right between the two metaphorical goalposts, and he's actually a reliable kicker. So I can understand if Mike Vanderjagt couldn't locate the hand dryer, wondering how the hell he can wipe his hands off with the condom machine.

• (Not pictured) While the towels were in great shape, one of the two urinals was out of order. I can probably safely assume this was due to Byron Leftwich wandering into that same restroom the very next day, getting unruly and finally complaining that the cake inside the urinal tasted terrible.

• 75 cents for one condom? Well, hell, if I was made of money like that, I could buy a higher quality hooker that didn't require protection.

I was going to rummage around and try to score an interview with an employee, but it was rather busy. Plus, I remembered the primary reason I got into Internet sportswriting in the first place: to be neither seen nor heard. You can always tell a Milford man.

Courtesy of the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review:

Steelers kicker Jeff Reed was cited with criminal mischief and disorderly conduct after throwing a tantrum over an empty paper towel machine at a Westmoreland County convenience store.

Reed, 29, went in to the men's restroom at Sheetz on U.S. Route 22 in New Alexandria borough shortly before 3 a.m.

After discovering that the paper towel dispenser in the bathroom was empty, Reed started loudly banging from inside the bathroom, state police said. He damaged the towel dispenser.

When Reed left the bathroom, he spoke to a Sheetz employee using loud and profane language. He continued to use profane language outside the store, police said.

Now, I've admired Jeff Reed's willingness to put himself out there, drink, cavort, pose for pictures, dye his hair, trim his pubes — all that. But this is the type of O.C.D. assholishness that could ruin his whole fun-loving man-of-the-people image that he seems to embrace.

Well, actually, given the above picture, it appears the men at The Pensblog are already sick of Reed's gimmick.

Here's their email:

We took this pic of Jeff Reed last month when he was at the Pens game.
You should see the sideshow. People come up to him and treat him like he is the jesus.

And he has these two bodyguards with him at all times.

He is at every Pens game, and gets up with 2 minutes left in each period. He takes pics with whatever dumbass fans, and then disappears.
He then returns with about four minutes in to the next period.

We we're lucky enough to find where he was sitting, and we pretended to give a shit about him, so we took this pic like we were big fans of him without him knowing.....

Bravo, gentlemen.

Jeff Reed first popped onto the Deadspin radar courtesy of that fateful Christmas Eve afternoon when then weekend editor, The Mighty MJD, decided the world needed to see him taking a cellphone picture of his newly shorn lunch pail for a prospective hook-up partner. From then on, it seemed that you couldn't go a weekend without a person sending in pictures of Jeff Reed doing something mildly sleazy and interesting. How else could a kicker get their own archive?

USA Today profiles him and the quotes he gives them — about the NFL, being an outsider, about life, man— could be taken out of a "How To Speak McConaughey" Learning Annex seminar:

• "You can't be an individualist, because if you are, you make yourself an outcast on the team. You can hang out by yourself, hang out with the punter, holder, snappers, the trainers, the equipment guys, or you can just join right in."

• "You have to know when it's time to work, it's time to work. But if you're not having fun, you're not living your life."

• "Taking pictures with somebody is not necessarily a bad thing. I don't care if it's random fans who are guys or hot girls. You just have to be smart."

• " The thing that pulled me through was I had a smile on my face the whole time, because I couldn't actually believe I was kicking in conditions like that."

• "I would have totally looked like a fool then. I'm only a halfway fool now."

• "You live for game-winners. I carry that burden on my shoulders as a kicker...At the same, I'd much rather win by 20 points and be partying on the sideline."

You just gotta keep livin' man, L-I-V-I-N.

On the field and off, Steelers' Reed Always Gets His Kicks [USA Today]

Santonio Holmes' penis was also seen wearing the tiara at the party while carrying two girls over to the wet bar.

Tiara And Sash a Good Look for Drunken Kickers [KSK]

Voting will remain open until the end of the first round ... so let's get started. It's No. 4 seed Elijah Dukes vs. No. 13 Jeff Reed. A look at the nominees:

No. 4 Seed: Elijah Dukes

Explored the possibilities lent to us by cellular technology.
Impregnated a foster child.
Became a sports radio star.
You divorced, dawg.

No. 13 Seed Josh Reed

Revealed some kicker dong.
Partied.
Partied some more.

So, go vote: Who makes it to the Final Eight?

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You can find the whole Jeff Reed archive here. If Reed and Sebastian Janikowski aren't best friends, someone should really introduce them.

You might remember our little Christmas Eve present for you last year: Pittsburgh Steelers kicker Jeff Reed taking a picture of him nearly nude in the mirror.

Well, our man Jeff is back at it again, hitting the town in pictures anonymously sent to us last night. Jeff Reed is truly King Of All Kickers.

After the jump, a bunch more photos.

Yep, That's A Kicker Dong [Deadspin]

We got a tip this morning from a guy who says he was out with a couple of ladyfriends last night when they encountered Steelers kicker Jeff Reed. The story goes that Reed was hitting on these two ladies, was eventually shot down, and then Jeff Reed did what any of us would have done: he stood in front of a mirror, pushed his pants down, and took a picture of the top of his junk.

He then sent said picture to the ladies to let them know what they were missing out on. Since then, the ladies went into a deep depression, began to cut their arms, and are now both currently having sex with David Akers.

Now, I can't promise you that any of that is true. I can't even tell you for sure that that's Jeff Reed. If it is, though... I seriously doubt that Jeff Reed's the type of guy who will be the least bit embarrassed about this.

I've always thought Reed was a pretty good kicker, and I'll tell you what—that guy knows his way around a razor, too.