Notre Dame quarterback Jimmy Clausen got his face intercepted by a man's fist outside a South Bend bar, and pretty soon everyone started doing the Rashomon thing.

On the occasion of the Sports Fella's appearance atop The New York Times bestseller list, Leitch wrote: "Good ideas win out. Perseverance and new perspectives break through. The old rots and washes away. Sometimes the good guys win." Charles P. Pierce saw things differently, writing of Simmons: "You are not the cosmos, son. Get the fuck over yourself. "

"In an effort to reinvent myself, in a cut throat industry that was becoming more and more competitive the deeper I swam," Jenn Sterger wrote, "I made the decision to go against the grain and remove my implants." This is our generation's answer to Thoreau's Walden. The results of her decision were subsequently Tweeted.

A semi-pro football player tackled his teammate, and Barry Petchesky provided the video.

Dash's gallery of sports-themed Halloween costumes spawned two sequels. The highlight was this cogent piece of media criticism.

Leitch launched his Aughts retrospective with this massive gallery of the decade's towering failures.

With the yank of a ponytail, New Mexico women's soccer player Elizabeth Lambert became an American symbol of something or other, and then all was forgiven after she wore a pretty pink crinkle scarf in the New York Times.

The Clemson rowing team got some exposure ...

... as did Grady Sizemore, whose extensive self-portraiture was swiped from his girlfriend's e-mail account.

And then Tiger Woods, a well-known golfing personage, went and crashed his car into a fire hydrant and a tree in the early morning after Thanksgiving. He had cuts on his face, which may or may not have been caused by his wife, who may or may not have been reacting to rumors of Tiger's cheating heart. I will defer here to friend of Deadspin Chas, who notes that Tiger is the best there was when laying two.

So today (again): The New York Jets. Your author is...Jenn Sterger.

Jenn Sterger is a former columnist for Sports Illustrated and is currently the Jets "Gameday Host." Her words are after the jump.

So what the hell does a down-home Southern girl, who grew up eating, breathing, and sleeping college football know about the Gang Green from NYC (*cough* - New Jersey)??.. Well, a lot more than I did a few weeks ago, when I made my debut as a part of the New York Jets family. Being the Jets Gameday Host, and face of the Jumbotron isn’t the cupcake gig you would expect it to be. You find out real quick that what some would call your “sickeningly sweet Southern pep,” is grounds for a black eye in the “Dirty Jerz.” Your biggest critics and fans are the same dudes that have been tailgating in the parking lot since 7 am for a 7 pm game. Suddenly, the frat boys of Florida State seemed like amateurs. Toto, I’m afraid we’re not in Tallahassee anymore.

Things have gotten a lot easier since my first preseason game. We’ve worked out all the technical kinks, and fans are actually starting to know me by name and not the chick on the side lines with the great… eyes. I have definitely grown a thicker skin when it comes to the New Yorker attitude, but that comes with the territory. Overall, I’d say my move to the Big Apple has gone pretty smoothly.. and I couldn’t be more pumped to be a member of this re-energized organization. We’ve got bruisers, we’ve got Brett.. and for the fellas at Gate D.. .well, sorry guys, I’m afraid there’s no more of those shenanigans. Still the question on everyone’s beer-tinged lips… “Is this all just hype???..”

If my two months of Jersey residency has taught me anything, it’s that people don’t “BS” up here. Sugar coating simply doesn’t exist. I’m not going to sit here and talk of pipe dreams and the kind of crap that Disney movies are made of, but I will say this: The Jets will see what the month of January looks like, and it won’t be from their Hi-def TV screens at their vacation homes in South Florida.

The Jets offense should be much improved over last season, and while Thomas Jones is still a competent running back, his preseason stats (12 carries, 29 yards) might be something to worry about. If Jones doesn't come through, Leon Washington is waiting in the wings to prove he can be an every-down back.

What about “The Grey One” you ask? The Jets made a bold move during training camp, bringing in future Hall of Famer Brett Favre to solve the quarterback woes. No doubt he has the ability and the arm to go deep. He will definitely be able to put some more points on the board if his receivers are willing and able.

The Jets hired a couple of corn-fed bodies to help protect their star QB during the offseason. Damien Woody will bring a lot of experience to the line, with nine seasons under his belt, while Alan Faneca joins the Jets after nine seasons with the Steelers where he started 153 out of 158 games. They'll join Nick Mangold and D'Brickashaw Ferguson who are very talented and young offensive linemen to complete what should and frankly must be, an improved OL to protect Favre and make holes for the backs.

Even before the Jets acquired Favre, they seemed to be in line to be the “Most Improved Team in the AFC.” At 6’ 4” 349 lbs, three time Pro Bowler and Ruben Studdard stunt double, Kris Jenkins steps up to the d-line this season. For a man with his own gravity, he moves with surprising athleticism. He’s going to require double-teaming on most plays, freeing up the linebackers and ends to make those key plays. Besides that, he’ll make a hell of a good bodyguard for yours truly during the offseason.

If the secondary gets/stays healthy and plays up to their ability, the Jets pass defense could be scary good - especially if the rest of the D can get penetration and put pressure on opposing quarterbacks. Cornerbacks Darrelle Revis and Justin Miller are two young guys looking to make a name for themselves, while Eric Smith and Kelvin Rhodes bring the experience and skill that could make opposing teams wary of relying too much on their passing game.

What’s the major point of contention for the Jets being a play-off team? Chemistry. I know, it’s about as cliché as the plot line for every inspiring sports movie ever made. With all the new faces and new blood on the team, can they find a rhythm and enough common ground to win games? A team can have all the A-listers and Pro Bowlers it wants, but if egos get in the way and there’s no respect.. then you’re just wasting payroll. I think this year is Mangini’s year to prove that the Jets are a force to contend with. Whether or not they have the gas to make it to the Super Bowl remains to be seen... but I have little doubt that they will make the playoffs. That’s something Jets fans haven’t seen in a while.

The Gang Green have the whole state of New York, and the rest of the league talking. Could this be the year they take back Broadway? Whether or not their big investments pay off… well, only time will tell.

Thanks for letting a girl play along, and if you are ever in the Meadowlands be sure to say hi. I don’t bite... hard. Until then, you can see me on the sidelines. So hang on to your hat Fireman Ed, it’s going to be a fun ride.

Venerable Florida State lady of bosom, Jenn Sterger, felt a little sideswiped by her not-so-controversial interview on THE KILLER B's" ESPN 1470 (Tampa) Radio show program two days ago, after she was quoted saying, in so many words, that she wasn't a big fan of ESPN sideline princess Erin Andrews.

Actually, this is what she said: "She's very talented. But it's so funny because if you look at her old tapes back when she worked at the Lightning, it was the most dreadful stuff you've ever seen in your life. People compare me and say, well, she's no Erin Andrews ... and I'm like, well, who's No. 1 on the computer. Suck it."

But after she's had time to cool off, Sterger is out to make amends. The scrappy guys at OnTheDL podcast got the exclusive interview with Sterger post-Andrews flap, as Jenn attempts to clarify her statements a little more so that there aren't any escalating tensions between the two ladies in the future.

"I have a lot of respect for Erin Andrews. But it’s so frustrating because people will continually compare us because she is the most notable sportscaster that initially found celebrity because of her looks, ” she said.

“You do not want Erin Andrews to ‘suck it, to suck anything…you like Erin Andrews, " OnTheDL asked.

"What is there to suck? Seriously. I’m a girl.”

Sterger says there's some sort of misinterpretation of her statement and that this is just all being blown out in double-D-like proportions.

“Everyone is trying to screw everyone else. They’re going to try to take things out of context. People like controversy. They thrive on it. The way I explain it – would you rather watch a couple in a grocery store fight or make out? You wanna watch them fight, let’s be real."

Right. So, crisis averted? Kind of?

Jenn Sterger [OnTheDL]

She's very talented. But it's so funny because if you look at her old tapes back when she worked at the Lightning, it was the most dreadful stuff you've ever seen in your life. People compare me and say, well, she's no Erin Andrews ... and I'm like, well, who's No. 1 on the computer. Suck it."

Yeah. Suck it! No homo! (Did I do that correctly?)

Jenn Sterger Tells Erin Andrews To 'Suck It' [AOL Fanhouse]

Jenn Sterger is not impressed with Erin Andrews [The Big Lead]

Anyway, the Sterger Playboy picture has hit the Web, and if you're one of those people who gets concerned about NSFW photos, we'd highly suggest waiting to click this link until you get home.

Now that Sterger has officially done all that she can with the gifts that have brought her this far, we suggest real estate — people will always want land! — or maybe teaching English abroad. Anybody else thinking Prague? Put off the real world as long as you can, honey. Remember, though: Dad's watching.

Jenn Sterger + Playboy = Good Times! [Modern Guy] (NSFW)
When Bloggers And Fathers Collide [Deadspin]

First: You are a father. You raised your children what you thought was the correct way, and your daughter ended up heading to Florida State University. One day, you spot her on television; look, honey, it's Jenn! And next thing you know, she's everywhere, and everywhere she is, she's wearing no clothing. You're proud of her taking advantage of an opportunity ... but that's a bit more of your daughter's breasts than you expected to be seeing.

Then, the other: A writer for a Web site — some might even call you a "blogger" — who decides that he can no longer sit idly by while online dorks drool over a glorified groupie with breast implants and a knack for self-promotion. You write up a vitriolic screed explaining exactly why this "Jenn Sterger" is everything that is wrong with America. You exhale, pleased, feeling better.

And then ... the plights of the two people meet.

"most of your posts are just pure made up bullshit that you pathetic folks had to dream up in an attempt to build your low self esteem! The following comments are not coming from any of the Warchant LR faithful, or from any of her friends, but rather from someone that has watched her for all of her life - me, Leo Sterger, her father. "

Uh, yeah. The whole sordid — and ultimately uplifting — tale of what happened next can be found right here. Enjoy.

Leo Sterger, Gabriel Morency, And The Last Thing I Am Writing About The FSU Cowgirl EVER [White Dade]

We sheepishly note that we are somewhat responsible for Sterger's appearance in the magazine; our good friend and fellow Black Table creator Eric Gillin is an editor at Maxim, and he first discovered her on our site. And ultimately, he ended up "supervising" the photo shoot. He took some time from his busy day of inspecting side boobs to answer a few of our questions over IM.

Deadspin: So you were there for the photo shoot. Do you always go to the model photo shoots, or did you just decide to go to this one?
Eric Gillin: I try to get out of the office to see the shoots when I can — usually they're all held in L.A. so I can't — but this time around I found time in my busy schedule to, you know, attend.

Deadspin: Had you talked to her beforehand? Did she drop all kinds of Florida State football knowledge on you? She is, after all, a national sports columnist. In fact, she even claimed in an interview that she "schooled" you on sports.
Eric Gillin:I'd talked to Jen a lot beforehand, just setting up the shoot, making sure everyone was all ready to go and all that. I don't really remember her "schooling" me on sports. I mean, as you're well aware, it's entirely possible that she did and I just chalked it up to another person correcting me yet again. The only time I remember her correcting me was when I got the names of the teams who were playing wrong at the game she was filmed at. I may have said FSU vs. Florida instead of FSU vs. Miami.

Deadspin: And are you guys still pals? You're best buds, aren't you?
Eric Gillin: Yeah, actually, we have kept in touch since the photo story. I know a lot of people like to rip on Jenn, but she's a sweet girl.

Deadspin: You really were there for the entire shoot? Like, the whole thing?
Eric Gillin: I was there for the beginning of the shoot, but then I must have blacked out for a while. Actually, I had to run home to grab my recorder. Then I came back and they were still shooting — the scenes in the showers with the three of them. I think I need a raise. This job is grueling some days.

FSU Cowgirls Photos [Maxim]

Actually, it's SI.com's "On Campus" section, which, like every other site on the earth that isn't SI.com, benefits from its lack of Jay Mohr columns. But Jenn isn't just talking about herself. Nope, she's actually going to be taking questions from SI.com readers, advice questions on relationships, friendships and all other concepts that sports fans go to sports Web sites for guidance on.

Oh, and Jenn's official Web site has been redesigned. But why do we have a feeling you knew that already? Pigs.

Dear Cowgirl [SI On Campus]
JenniferSterger.com [Official Site]

I just chalk up all the questions to having an amazing surgeon. I'm sure he is enjoying all the free press he is getting, as almost any message from a girl on my Facebook.com is always about, I WANT YOUR DOCTORS NUMBER! It s kinda flattering. But you will get your occasional haters. If the only way you can insult me is by pulling the "fake boob card," by all means get some new material buddy. How original. Hey, it was MY money, a great investment, and damn it, I am gonna shake what the doctor gave me.

Well, yeah, Barry Bonds said the same thing; his boobs are fake too.

1-On-1 With Jenn Sterger [Across The Board]
Florida State's Diligent Student Body [Deadspin]

(Note: In the story, Sterger talks about taking a football trivia contest with an editor from Maxim named Eric. In the interests of full disclosure, this editor Eric is actually a friend of ours and a fellow editor at our other site, The Black Table. And this is absolutely true: Eric is constantly being schooled on football by girls, dogs, lamps, lawn furniture.)