Deadspin: jerry rice

Jerry Rice Has Reached This Point In His Career

DAULERIO — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 11:04:05 EST

" Was in hotel bar lobby where Jerry Rice was having a few beverages and when he walks by a woman says “That’s the guy from “Dancing with the Stars”." [Sports Radio Interviews]

Colts Fans Have Absolutely No Cajones

rickchand — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:10:42 EST

Here's the situation: Four amounts left on the board on the game show Deal or No Deal (NFL Edition!). One is for $1 million, and the other three are for $10,000 or less. What amount does your case hold? George Barnes here can sell his case for $189,000 — but if he does, he'll lose out on the million that may be within. What do you do? You soldier on and hold out for the million, right? Come on, you're wearing a Peyton Manning jersey, which means that you have nerves of steel! Be strong, George! Just like your Colts! NO DEAL! Would George be the show's first millionaire? The case is opened, and ...

As perhaps you can see in the photo, George (on the right) is trying very hard to run away. That's because he went "no deal," sold his case, and lost out on the million which had been in there all along. Poor dumb sap. It had been case No. 18, to boot. This was all very amusing to Jerry Rice, Marcus Allen, Terrell Davis and other former NFL stars who were in the audience (Allen openly chastised Barnes).

So that's the second time I've watched Deal or No Deal (the first was in preparation for this interview). That should hold me for a year or so.

Howie Mandel Packs Suitcase For Stateline [Tahoe Daily Tribune]

Watch Jerry Rice Crank It, Watch Jerry Rice Roll ...

skeets — Sun, 14 Oct 2007 14:30:16 EDT

Watch Jerry Rice crank dat Soulja Boy, then Super Man dat ho! I have to admit, I was impressed at how quickly Rice seemed to pick up the steps. Maybe that Dancing With the Stars bull-shit was worth it after all. And hey, is Patrick Ewing Jr. a certified Soulja Boy dance instructor or something? I sure hope Ewing Sr. can do this.

Jerry Rice Dancing Soulja Boy [D.C. Sports Bog]

Unfortunately, It Appears Emmitt's Going To Be On This Show For A While

Leitch — Wed, 13 Sep 2006 13:45:13 EDT

Last night, Emmitt Smith continued his inevitable decline into post-athlete career depression by "shining" on "Dancing With The Stars," impressing the judges with his ... aw, jeez, we can't even type this without feeling bad about ourselves and everything about sports.

We were asked the other day why we mocked people like Jerry Rice and Emmitt Smith so much for their last sad grasps at fame and/or fortune once they can no longer succeed on their chosen fields of battle. They are, after all, celebrities, and this is the type of endeavor celebrities undertake: Dancing around on television and smiling and acting all together inoffensive and cute nice. But they are, in the spectrum of celebrity, D-list: This is why they are on a show with Mario Lopez and Tucker Carlson rather than, you know, Jack Nicholson and George Clooney. But these are legends: Emmitt owns just about every rushing record, and Rice might possibly be the best football player of all time. And they're making idiots out of themselves on reality shows, just so people will remember who they are, which, of course, is all we want to do: Remember. Instead, they just won't shut up.

Emmitt Smith Danced Like A Teddy Bear [The Sports Pulse]

Jerry Rice's Tragic Downward Spiral

Leitch — Mon, 14 Nov 2005 13:15:47 EST

Our continued sympathy for legendary wide receiver Jerry Rice and the incredible difficulty he's having dealing with post-football life is well-documented, but it hit a new level today: It appears Rice, in a Rodman-esque publicity ploy, will appear on the second season of "Dancing With The Stars."

Now, this is bad enough. But check out who else will be on the show with him. "Melrose Place" (and other soaps) star Lisa Rinna. Robert Wagner! Oh, and Nick Lachey. No, wait ... Nick Lachey's younger brother, Drew Lachey.

How low is Rice sinking? Old "Saturday Night Live" failure Kevin Nealon was asked to be on the show, and he can't decide whether he wants to do it or not.

Again: Somebody give Rice a job in football. Doing something. Anything.

New Stars "Waltzing" In [NY Post]

Somebody PLEASE Let Jerry Rice Be Your Fifth Receiver

Leitch — Thu, 20 Oct 2005 17:30:59 EDT

Now that Jerry Rice is retired from football, he's not going to spend all of his time simply getting "massages": He's now going to be on reality shows. Rice, along with Bo Jackson, Jennie Finch and Karl Malone, will appear on Spike TV's "Pros Vs. Joes" starting in April.

The premise of the show: Regular humans like you and me will compete "against each other and 19 famous sports figures in a variety of reality-show challenges and real sporting events - everything from football to ice skating." In other words, it's that "Dancing With The Stars" without heels. (Unless Rodman is a part of this.) Other athletes involved include Tony Dorsett, Alexi Lalas and Xavier McDaniel, who will implore all the competitors "don't come yet." No dissing on the X man.

Rice Guests With Other Former Stars On Reality Show [San Jose Mercury News]

Jerry Rice Refuses To Go Gently

Leitch — Wed, 14 Sep 2005 11:06:46 EDT

We're actually starting to feel kind of bad for Jerry Rice. The guy's very possibly the best player in NFL history and, now that he has been kicked off three teams and has an opportunity to retire gracefully, he's still desperate to play some more. When asked on the CBS pregame show last Sunday what he would do if a team called him to play for them, Rice said, "I'm out the door," Rice said. "I'm on that team. Without a doubt."

The Chicago Daily Southtown — which, incidentally, featured some scintillating Illinois basketball coverage in the mid-'90s — says that the Chicago Bears should call Rice immediately, though Rice's agent says he doesn't see any way that happens. Just in case, though, we feel obliged once again to give noted massage enthusiast Rice a heads-up on the best places for him to visit if he ends up in Chicago. No charge, Jerry.

Rice Would Look Great On Bears [Daily Southtown]
Best Massage Ever [49er Haters]
Chicago Massage Parlors [Google Maps]

Jerry Rice Deep-Tissues His Way Into the Sunset

Leitch — Tue, 06 Sep 2005 10:18:52 EDT

We would like to say "happy trails" to future Hall of Fame receiver Jerry Rice, who retired yesterday after realizing the Broncos actually expected him to run routes, catch passes and occassionally block this season. We salute Rice on his long career, particularly the work he did while hiding in a brothel's bathroom during a police raid. Good luck, Jerry; here's an easy guide to how to spend the first few days of your retirement. Many happy endings to you ...

Jerry Says Goodbye [San Jose Mercury News]
Best Massage Ever [49er Haters]
Denver Massage Parlors [Google Maps]

About Last Night ...

Leitch — Tue, 06 Sep 2005 09:34:35 EDT

• What you missed while shaving profanities onto your dog ...
• Florida State beats Miami in football ... wait, that can't be right.
• Jerry Rice decides to retire after Broncos clean out his locker, paint over his parking space and refuse to let him back into the building.
• White Sox grind Curt Schilling into a fine, pasty substance which still supports Bush.

Some Helpful Advice For Jerry Rice

Leitch — Wed, 25 May 2005 14:54:00 EDT

The official word is in: Jerry Rice will play for the Denver Broncos next season. To help Jerry get around in his new digs, knowing his past proclivities, we helpfully provide him a sampling of area businesses.

You're welcome, Jerry!

Massage Parlors Near Denver, CO [Google Maps]
Rice Signs With Broncos [DenverBroncos.com]
Best. Massage. Ever. [49erhaters.com]

Jerry Rice: Will Catch For Food

Leitch — Mon, 16 May 2005 12:35:25 EDT

SI's Peter King has quite the scoop in his Monday Morning Quarterback column today: Jerry Rice's agent is begging an NFL team — any NFL team — to hire him. His agent Jim Steinberg sent a fax to every team that said:

Jerry would like to make 2005 his last year in the NFL. Any takers?? Please call if you think there might be a fit!'

(Nothing says Hall of Famer like multiple question marks and exclamation points.) King, befuddled that the 42-year-old legend would be so craven, writes that he thinks it's 50-50 that Rice will play before delving into the usual babble about coffee and girls' field hockey. For his part, Rice isn't talking, probably because he's busy getting a "massage."

Monday Morning Quarterback (CNNSI.com)
Best Massage Ever (49ers Haters)