If you can't see the video for some reason, what we have here is Benny the Bull on The Jerry Springer Show, being told by his girlfriend that there's "someone else." That someone is a larger, plastic Benny the Bull, and of course violence ensues. But there are so many ways that it could have been funnier. The girlfriend's new guy could have been Steely McBeam, for instance. Or Bill Belichick. Of course it's all fake anyway, just like an actual Bulls game.

Mostly though I'm just glad to be reminded that Jerry Springer has in no way wasted his life.

Distract Your Irate Fans With Crappy TV: Benny The Bull Gets The Beatdown On Jerry Springer [100 Percent Injury Rate]

(They've been playing this at Bulls games lately. Makes sense.)

We are not against mass hallucinations as a potential explanation of psychotic phenomena — did you see the No. 1 movie in the country this weekend? — but in this case, worry not, flu buggers of Deadspin Nation: You didn't imagine it in a cold fevered sweat. White Sox catcher A.J. Pierzynski was indeed on the "Jerry Springer Show" on Monday. He was more like a "guest bouncer," which we don't understand and is likely a position invented for Pierzynski because he called and begged to be on, probably to impress his children, because that's the kind of guy A.J. Pierzynski is.

It's funny, because we always thought that, for as unpopular as Pierzynski is among pretty much everyone in baseball, he had a tongue-in-cheek mindset to it, what, with all the wrestling and general assheadedness; like he was in on the joke that he was a dick. Now? Now we are not so sure.

AJ Pierzynski Goes Classy [Sportable]