Deadspin
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mlb
Tigers' Game Called Due To Lightning, Plague Of Locusts, Flood
If Jesus is indeed a Tigers' fan, he can't be pleased with this. The Detroit Tigers are the only MLB team to have scheduled a game during the holy hours on Good Friday. More »
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Comment by Father of 2 Future First Rounders: If the Tigers are the only team to have scheduled a game on good Friday, who the fuck are they... 6 Responses | Other threads
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super bowl xliii
God Still Undecided On Who To Root For In Super Bowl
What if some Cardinal or Steeler were to be named Most Valuable Player and say “I’d just like to thank L. Ron Hubbard and the church of Scientology?” [MSNBC]
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Comment by The Orange Naranja: Since when did God start looking like the Burger King? 3 Responses | Other threads
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waxing off
Religion, Sports, And Visanthe Shiancoe Has A Bible Verse Written WHERE?
Time for Waxing Off, the feature generally credited for saving the passengers of US Airways flight 1549. Today's topic: Athletes who credit God for victories and success. More » -
DUAN!
When The Spirit Moves Him, Kurt Warner Must Draw
Far be it from me to mock anyone's religious beliefs. A person's artistic skills, however, are open game. Here's Kurt Warner drawing God. Let's watch. More »
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Comment by Candace Parker Secret Lover: So I finally get the nerve to ask out gym girl tonight...no gimmicks, just a little small talk about the... 56 Responses | Other threads
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mma
Blasphemy Never Looked So Stylish
I'm not sure what the message is with Mixed Martial Arts' new line of clothing called "Jesus Didn't Tap." But if they're smart they'll make the fight depicted on that shirt pay-per-view. [Sports by Brooks] -
jesus
Tiger Woods Is Jesus
At least according to a new EA Sports commercial for his video game where El Tigre walks on water—into a pond— and plays his ball from a lilly pad. The most amazing thing about this commercial is not necessarily that it was made but that EA is now watching YouTube clips and responding to people who've posted videos. Next thing you know Deadspin commenters are going to get called out by Norby! in commercials for the new SportsCenter. Here's the video after the jump. More »
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By Clay TravisComment by Laser Guided: @Don'tBringThat: last crusdade? more » | Other threads
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baseball
Jesus Saves, But Still Takes His Usual 15 Percent
You may know that outfielder Josh Hamilton's negotiations of a long-term contract with the Texas Rangers hit a snag recently when he suddenly changed agents; going from Matt Sosnick of Sosnick Cobbe Sports to Michael Moye of Moye Associaties. The reason? Hamilton is a born-again Christian, and "wanted to be with a Christian stable," according to SI.com. UmpBump was a bit surprised to discover that there are Christian sports agents, and did some checking on Moye Associates, finding a pretty awesome quote. More »
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Comment by baseballdirty.com: Huh. He didn't seem so born again when we saw him in the off season. more » | Other threads
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jesús es mi coche del balompié
Spanish Soccer Commercials Are Weird
What if Mel Gibson had been a soccer fan instead of, you know, nuts? He might have made a movie that went a little something like this. More »
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By rickchandComment by ThisIsNotMyRealName: Wasn't that A-Rod rubbing lotion on himself at the end? more » | Other threads
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rod almighty
Here's The Dugout's take on what happened when Rod Beck arrived in Heaven. That Jesus; he's such a card. [The Dugout] -
barbaro
He Has Risen, And Is Demanding Oats
You know, we mocked the Barbaro message boarders when they claimed that Big Boss Horse was appearing to them from the afterlife. Yeah, we had a good laugh over that. But then a reader got to looking closely at our Jesus bowling post from last week, and made a startling discovery. Just look at the image above, without clicking on it, and tell us that you don't see Christ morphing into the ghostly head and neck of everyone's favorite three-legged racehorse (complete with mane). More » -
bowling
Spare Me, Oh Lord
To be absolutely truthful, this video really confuses us. Why is everyone laughing? Why would anyone think that Jesus would throw anything but a strike? Religion generally confuses us, but one thing we're pretty sure of: The Son of God has his own equipment ... Jesus does not rent bowling shoes. We'd also be quite surprised to see Him carrying around his beer with his index finger stuck in the mouth of the bottle. More »
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By rickchandComment by PabstSmear: That Jesus has a rather, uh, unorthodox bowling style. Unothodox.... He was Jewish... Religious... Ahh, nevermind. more » | Other threads
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soccer
Soon To Be A Major Motion Picture Starring Rob Schneider And David Spade
Well, some elementary school or junior high was lucky enough to land Jesus as its soccer coach, although by the looks of this handsome mural, He has his work cut out for him. Ah well, the first day of practice is usually a feeling-out process for everyone, we're told. We'd also like to thank young Darren for wearing his father's old Stanford football uniform. Christ is not amused. More »
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By rickchandComment by PikachuMcHeidegger: "Judas! Do you want a beverage? Keep hydrated and let's hear some chatter!" more » | Other threads
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karate
When The Hand Of God Is Also A Registered Weapon
At last, the tyranny of Wrestling for Jesus may be over. Those guys will be running for the hills when faced with the might of Karate for Christ, a movement with more than 400,000 members who will turn the other cheek just so often. It is not known whether Jesus used The Crane technique in his teachings, but we do know that those money lenders' tables didn't turn over by themselves. And it brings us a little closer to God when we think that Christ may have spent idle hours with the apostles splitting boards with his head. More »
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By rickchandComment by lorne bialystok: I though JC just needed 'guilt' to dispose of his opponents. more » | Other threads
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baseball
Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out
Good news! The new Jesus sports statues are in, still piping hot from the kiln and ready for shipping over at Catholic Shopper.com. But unlike in previous versions in which He was smack dab in the action, Our Lord and Savior seems content to kibitz from the sidelines this time, refusing to get directly involved even when little Tommy takes an obvious dive in soccer, or when young Billy drags a defender for a first down in football. Hey Christ, ever hear of 'in the grasp?' Blow the freakin' whistle! More »
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By rickchandComment by BoeheimIsMySavior: I want to know who Jesus thanks in his postgame interviews. I would have to assume he thanks TO. more » | Other threads
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football
What Would Jesus Call?
The place is Sunnyvale, Calif., where the visiting team, Atherton's Sacred Heart Prep, has just kicked what appears to be the winning field goal against The King's Academy in an important high school football game between the two Christian schools. But the official rules it no good, and King's wins, 29-28. But wait! Several fans had videotaped the kick, and it turns out that it was indeed good — the official had been chatting on the sideline and wasn't in position when the ball went through. With a playoff berth hanging in the balance, all are now wondering what to do. More » -
jesus
Christ Gets An Asterisk
We found this over at Jesus of the Week, where they made the observation: "I think if this beefy Jesus were put on the stand in front of Congress, He would maintain, 'I'm not here to talk about the past. My message is steroids is bad.' " More » -
wrestling
And The Lord Said: 'Matches Shall Be Two Out Of Three Falls. And No Gouging.'
We're not sure at which sports the Son of God excelled (the Bible is curiously silent on the issue), but we just bet He would have been a ferocious wrestler. Heights Baptist Church in Beech Island, S.C., apparently agrees, which is why they started a "Wrestling For Jesus" ministry three years ago. According to their web site: "WFJ uses a wrestling formatted show to illustrtate various biblical principals all supported by the word of God." Said wrestler Timothy Blackmon: More »
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Comment by major disaster: Wow, I had no idea. I thought it was just Kirk. And I am so going on Candace's Girls Get-A-Way... more » | Other threads
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