Here is a very incomplete list of places in our great nation where you can watch sports while eating Chinese food today—as suggested by you, our readers. If you have more ideas, please let us know in the comments. All endorsements sic'd.
Christmas is on Sunday, and while most public activity shuts down so the Christians and semi-Christians can worship American consumerism and baby Jesus, our nation's Jews will be eating Chinese food and watching hoops like it's just another Hanukkah weekend. What a world!
The Panthers had heavily hyped their Hanukkah celebrations last night, including promising a Panther yarmulke to all in attendance. Only a few thousand walked away with one. Who would have thought there would be so many Jews in South Florida?
A nice lady called a Tampa sports talk radio show and argued that Shields is starting game 2 only because he's Jewish, and the Rays' Jewish ownership made it happen. Shields isn't actually Jewish, but never mind that.
During a game against Austrian club FC Red Bull Salzburg, Hapoel Tel Aviv's Itay Shechter scored after a very nice run, proceeded to pull a yarmulke out of his sock, (apparently) said a prayer—and was immediately given a yellow card.
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the People of the Book, who, in addition to controlling the media, now control the paint at MSG thanks to Amar'e Stoudemire's newfound faith.
According to well-placed sources in NORAD, Santa is making his way across Asia right about now, which must mean that I'm about 18 hours from stuffing my face in Chinese food. Oh, and Christmas is almost here. Merriness ensues.