Scientists explain it all like this: Jim Edmonds tripled and drove in two runs on Sunday, ripping a hole the time-space continuum and sending the Cubs hurtling into an alternate dimension, where up is down, day is night and the Cubs blogs are using John Denver lyrics for headlines. Chicago beat Colorado 5-3 on Sunday to finish its homestand 7-0; the first time the Cubs have swept a homestand of seven or more game since 1970. That's 1970, my friends; when their streak without a World Series title was only 62 years old. Part of the success can be chalked up to good karma from moments like this. But mostly it's because Chicago has eight players hitting .295 or above; Carlos Zambrano and Ryan Dempster are having monster seasons, and they've played 34 of their 58 games at home.

But the Cubs play 23 of their next 32 on the road, including series with the Dodgers, Rays, Braves, Orioles and Cardinals. If they're still afloat after that, we'll talk.

• On The Southside Of Chicago, The Baddest Part Of Town. Meanwhile, Ozzie Guillen issued threats in a calm, rational way on Sunday; and that's when you've got to start worrying. Tampa Bay beat Chicago 4-3 in 10 innings. "Just be ready because I expect movement Tuesday," Guillen told the Chicago Tribune after the Sox went 2-for-14 with runners in scoring position. Gabe Gross' walk-off homer off Matt Thornton on an 0-2 count in the bottom of the 10th inning was the crowning touch. "I expect (general manager) Kenny Williams to do something Tuesday, and if we don't do anything Tuesday, there are going to be a lot of lineup changes. That's all I'm going to say about the offense."

• Shake, Rattle And Roll. A day after Brandon Webb shut them out 4-0, Dan Haren went seven innings in a 5-0 victory over the Nationals as the Diamondbacks earned back-to-back shutouts for the first time since May of 2006. Orlando Hudson had a three-run homer.

• Phil Of The Future. Chase Utley is the first to 20 homers, and Pat Burrell had a two-run double as the Phillies ascended to first in the East with a 7-5 win over the Marlins. Jamie Moyer, whose age cannot be determined until the results of carbon dating are complete, was the winner. Mike Lieberthal did not play.

• Manny Gets Right To Work On Second 500 Homers. Manny Ramirez hits his 501st homer, had three hits and drove in three runs as the Red Sox beat the Orioles 9-4.

• Wizard Cat Defensive Player Of The Day. Security Guy, Boston Red Sox. Actually we're not sure when this occurred, but this great defensive stop must be honored. The misdirection technique employed here is often used by wolves to take down prey in the wild, and also by those Sex and the City women to find husbands. But why Chinese soldiers did not use it against his woman is anyone's guess. Wizard Cat gives this play: Four wands. [Via Big League Stew]

Contact Wizard Cat at Wizardcat@live.com

By the way, do you love our awesome television? HD? What HD?

Jim Edmonds? Wearing a Cubs jersey? Perish the thought. But Cubs fans are even less thrilled about the possibility than Cardinals fans are. To say the least.

• Out Of Right Field: "Nobody in Chicago likes him. Nobody in Chicago will EVER like him. Nobody in Chicago likes his upper cut swing. Nobody in Chicago likes how he turns routine plays into "spectacular" with his unnecessary diving. Nobody in Chicago likes how he sprints around the bases after he hits a home run. Nobody in Chicago likes the fact that he wears guyliner."

• Bleed Cubbie Blue: "If the Cubs insist on signing a washed-up, injured, 38-year-old centerfielder who was released by a team in desperate need of hitting, at least send Jim Edmonds to Iowa for a week or two first, and let Pie play. The bottom line is: the Cubs are 23-15, winners of four in a row and five of six, and scoring metric buttloads of runs. Why mess with success? Please, Jim. Don't do it."

• Hire Jim Essian: "Jim Hendry, you've done an awful lot of dumb things in your tenure as the Chicago Cubs' general manager. You signed Neifi Perez a couple of times. You thought Shawn Estes belonged in a starting rotation. You traded Kyle Farnsworth right after a crap year instead of right after a good year. You ate that whole cheesecake that had been sitting out on the counter for a week, even though I told you that the top shouldn't feel slimy. I've forgiven you for most of those things. But so help you God, if you sign Jim Edmonds, you are dead to me."

It is rare to find anything that Cubs fans and Cardinals fans agree on. The horror of Jim Edmonds in a Cubs uniform is one of them. This is not going to end well.

By the way, this move is probably not good business for Edmonds' new restaurant/nightclub in St. Louis.

• The revised Countries of Baseball map. [One Droo Hill]
  
• Is there a future left for Jim Edmonds? [UmpBump]
  
• Flip Bondy picks a curious time to mount the high horse. [Sons of Nev]
  
• The race for Mike D'Antoni is afoot. [Indignant Sports]
  
• Dodge Challenger 500 preview [Ridebuyer]
  
• The many sides of C.C. Sabathia, all of them fat. [WaitingForNextYear]
  
• 289's new Marvin Harrison shirt. Armor-piercing bullets sold separately [TwoEightNine Design]
  

With the help of Viva El Birdos, MLB Trade Rumors has narrowed the likely news candidates to four possibilities: A trade of Jim Edmonds for Robinson Cano and Chien Ming-Wang; the signing of A.J. Burnett; a trade for Ken Griffey Jr.; and a trade for Bobby Abreu.

We usually don't get into this much detail with the transaction sheet, but:

1. These are our Cardinals.
2. It's a slow news day.
3. We love the idea of Bobby Abreu wearing the Birds on the Bat. Not just because the dude can hit (and walk), but also because we would love to take dating tips from him.

If any of these trades end up happening, remember where you heard it first.

Cardinals Nearing Huge Trade [MLB Trade Rumors]
Unapologetic Rumor Mongering [Viva El Birdos]
Bobby Abreu's Otherworldly Restraint [Deadspin]

(Update: Viva El Birdos says signs are pointing to Abreu.)

Anyway, they've compiled another great collection of drunk, whoring around baseball player photos, and, just to prove to you that we're not too St. Louis Cardinals blind loyal, we present that pretty fantastic one of notorious fun guy (and, yes, Gold Glover) Jim Edmonds. Other fun hits this week include Kevin Millar, World Series MVP Jermaine Dye and the inevitable Keith Foulke, who we swear must have closed every bar in every American League city by now. Enjoy!

Not So Blind Items, Part VI [On The DL]