J.J. Watt Is A Goddamn Lying Clownfraud

"It's really minimalistic," he said. "There's no frills ... It's just an empty space and a log cabin and snow." You pictured a hovel on the taiga. A lean-to. Wind whistling between the rough-hewn and bark-clad logs. J.J. Watt waking, abundantly and ruggedly bearded, staggering outside in the predawn gloaming with… » 3/04/15 2:45pm 3/04/15 2:45pm

J.J. Watt Has Retreated To A Cabin In The Woods To Become More Badass

Last year, Texans defensive end J.J. Watt spent his offseason crashing at his college buddy's house and basically doing nothing but working out. This year, Watt has decided that he needs to step his training up a bit, and so he's purchased a secluded cabin in the woods, where he will live and train and presumably… » 1/30/15 3:03pm 1/30/15 3:03pm

Miracle J.J. Watt Poster Survives House Fire

This is so local news. A fire tore through one family's home in Katy, Texas, on Sunday. Everyone got out in time, although the home was seriously damaged. This is a really sad story and the KHOU report shows all the charred remains and holes in walls, but it can't help but focus on what survived:
» 1/02/15 3:10pm 1/02/15 3:10pm

Come On, J.J. Watt Should Be The MVP

J.J. Watt made NFL history today by being the first player to ever have two seasons of at least 20 sacks. Let's take this achievement as an opportunity to say that Watt should be this season's MVP, dammit. » 12/28/14 4:36pm 12/28/14 4:36pm

Little Badass Sends Autographed Jersey To J.J. Watt

Last night, Texans defensive end and destroyer of worlds J.J. Watt tweeted out the picture above. It's a letter and a signed jersey that he received from a seven-year-old kid named Anthony Tarantelli, who just may be the most confident pee-wee football player on the planet. » 12/16/14 10:46am 12/16/14 10:46am

A Plea To The Texans: Let J.J. Watt Play Quarterback

The Texans have gone through three quarterbacks this season: Ryan Mallett tore his pectoral muscle, Ryan Fitzpatrick broke his leg, and rookie Tom Savage hurt his knee after replacing Fitzpatrick yesterday. Houston plans on starting either Thad Lewis or Case Keenum next week against the Ravens, but here's a better… » 12/15/14 5:43pm 12/15/14 5:43pm

Video Evidence That We're All Just Living In J.J. Watt's World

This week's episode of Inside the NFL featured a mic'd up J.J. Watt stomping around, talking shit, and wreaking havoc during last Sunday's game against the Titans. These mic'd up segments are commonplace and usually on the boring side, but this one is worth watching from beginning to end simply because it's such a… » 12/03/14 5:29pm 12/03/14 5:29pm

J.J. Watt Blew Out The Titans, All On His Own

There was a lot going right for the Texans yesterday, as they beat the brass off the Titans 45-21. Ryan Fitzpatrick threw for six touchdowns; DeAndre Hopkins caught nine balls on nine targets for 238 yards and two touchdowns; and in a week of blowouts, flatlined Tennessee's Win probability under 20 percent in the… » 12/01/14 5:03pm 12/01/14 5:03pm

J.J. Watt Is Still A Total Anomaly

There was a disturbance in the force over the weekend, when J.J. Watt spent much of the day lined up against backup lineman Marshall Newhouse in the Texans' 22-13 loss to the Bengals and didn't come away with any sacks. That's a little surprising, but only because J.J. Watt is understood to be unreal. » 11/25/14 1:37pm 11/25/14 1:37pm

J.J. Watt Has No Patience For The Foolishness Of Lesser Humans

When it was announced that Titans rookie quarterback Zach Mettenberger would be starting today's game against the Texans, Mettenberger responded by taking a few celebratory selfies. This did not sit well with Texans All-Pro defensive end J.J. Watt, because J.J. Watt is a monster who exists solely to crush weaker… » 10/26/14 5:48pm 10/26/14 5:48pm

E.J. Manuel Was The Most Catastrophic Quarterback Of Week 4

E.J. Manuel played poorly Sunday, completing only 47.7 percent of his passes and throwing two interceptions. While box score summaries can sometimes hide clutch play in critical situations that wasn't the case here. According to data from Brian Burke of Advanced Football Analytics, Manuel accounted for two of the… » 9/29/14 11:59am 9/29/14 11:59am

J.J. Watt Returns Interception For An 80-Yard TD

J.J. Watt is a robot posing as a human who sometimes forgets to pretend that he's mortal and does really fantastic things on the football field as a result. This play, where he intercepts E.J. Manuel and rumbles 80 yards to the house without anyone even getting close to him, is one of those things. » 9/28/14 3:16pm 9/28/14 3:16pm

Texans Sign J.J. Watt To Record-Setting Contract

Late last night, the Houston Texans and defensive end J.J. Watt agreed to a massive contract extension that will make Watt the highest-paid defensive player in the game, and it's hard to find anyone arguing he doesn't deserve it. » 9/02/14 8:36am 9/02/14 8:36am

J.J. Watt Is A Pretty Decent Hockey Player

His pants aren't nearly as attention-grabbing as hockey-playin' Justin Bieber's, but the big guy can really move out there! Is it too late to get Watt on the Olympic hockey team? » 2/11/14 6:37pm 2/11/14 6:37pm

NFL All-Non-Playoff Team: The Best Players Not In The Postseason

In the NFL, where many believe that winning supersedes stats, many outstanding players don't get the accolades or attention they deserve, just because the rest of their team was shit. We think that's dumb, so we've gathered up the best players out of the league who didn't make the playoffs this season. » 1/03/14 1:29pm 1/03/14 1:29pm

J.J. Watt's Mom Wants Him To Fix His Nose

J.J. Watt's already intimidating without blood on his face, but when he does bust open his nose, like he did in Week 4 against the Seahawks, it makes him terrifying. Imagine being a quarterback, seeing a six-foot-five behemoth with a bloody face trying to take him to the turf. This injury recurs every week, even after… » 12/25/13 10:05am 12/25/13 10:05am