The Long Island Ducks are hiring! Have you always dreamed of working alongside such luminaries as Dontrelle Willis, Ramon Castro, Ian Snell, and Josh Barfield? Of course you have. Stupid question, sorry.

Time for your weekly LIVE edition of the Deadspin Funbag. To submit a question to the live Funbag, you gotta post down in the bowels of the discussion section below. As always, we begin with the question of the week.

For some reason, Eagles fans are currently tracking new head coach Chip Kelly's flight from Eugene to Philadelphia. (I think because they saw college fans do it, and it looked fun.)

Let's see now. Uh huh. Right, right, right. Eight years in the NBA with, uh, four teams. And you know, I just loved that Saint Joe's team you played for. What year was that, ‘04? And who was it, John Lucas who made that shot that kept you guys out of the Final Four? That had to just … yeah, yeah, sorry. But what a run …

Via Baseball Prospectus's Ben Lindbergh, this excellent job posting for which we are already updating our resumés. The Royals are seeking a new window cleaner, and the job consists of all the excitement a window cleaner could hope for.

Deadspin is looking for a few interns to work with us this fall.

Edit: We are no longer accepting applications for this position. Thank you for your interest.

We're just going to assume that B. Franklin Dogg is going to win the fan vote to become the next 76ers mascot, because his bedroom eyes and S&M collar make us laugh every time. He's McGruff, the Sex Crime Dog. "Hey kids! B. Franklin Dogg's van is full of candy!"

We're expanding our operation, and we're looking for interns from the New York City area, the last part of which is kind of important, which is why it's been bolded. The job description calls for assisting with both video and editorial work. It also requires being available on nights and weekends, plus two days a week …

Yes, the story's from Chris Broussard, so we should take it with a Dead Sea's worth of salt, but it looks like things might get a whole lot worse for the poor folks of Detroit.