He's obviously somewhat self-conscious about it, seemingly making an effort to keep them covered in public (See here for a typical photo). But what would possess a man with perfectly fine teeth to turn into metalmouth at age 45? A promise to his daughter.

Buried deep within this amateurish local station's "blog" (this is the kind of stuff they're going to be charging for, people), is the story of how Girardi's then-5-year-old daughter was scared of getting braces, so he made her a deal: if she needed them, he'd get them too.

So little Serena's teeth got all crooked, and Papa Joe lived up to his end of the bargain. That's adorable. Almost makes me forget that Damaso Marte and Jerry Hairston have no business being on a major league field.

The Yankees Go Hollywood! [News 12]

Joe Girardi and Derek Jeter, with tears streaming from their blotchy red eyes, remembered painful days of their youths yesterday when Yankee Stadium accidentally hired the guys who were supposed to be working the summer league game next door. Problem was, though, that no one informed the players — silly Mr. Steinbrenner — and they naturally assumed they were dealing with professionals.

When Jeter stole third base in the first inning and got in under the tag, he expected to remain there. Because he was safe, you see. But, umpire Marty Foster told Jeter, the ball had beat him to the base, so the tag wasn't necessary. Yer out! Jeter argued. Girardi argued. The skipper was tossed by Foster, even though Jeter had beaten him there.

"Getting the play right is one thing," said umpire crew chief John Hirschbeck. "But how you handle it and what you say is equally important. It used to be if the ball beat you to the bag, you're out. But it's not like that anymore with all the cameras and replays. You have to make a good tag. You can't just lay your glove down in front of the base."

That's not what they told Foster, who continued to umpire the game, collected his $50 and escaped to the car before angry parents could accost him for his egregious error — not the erroneous call, but the rationale. Every umpire makes mistakes. Some are worse than others, but in the first inning of a July game, the sting of the brainfart would have proven fleeting. Foster's folly, rather, was his juvenile excuse.

All he had to do was tell the truth. My bad, Jeet, get you next time, when you swipe that phantom tag in the ninth inning. Make up a dirty lie. I don't care what you felt, he tagged you, so get back to the dugout. Try to distract him. Hey, who's that sitting next to Kate Hudson in the front row?

That, sir, is a Little League softball coach. You'll be seeing more of her type soon.

Umpire told Jeter he didn't need to be tagged out [Star-Ledger]
Jeter's running error leaves him at odds with Girardi [Daily News]

The Yankees are in last place in the AL East — six games behind the Red Sox — and have the third worst record in the American League. Worse than that, though, the seem to have no potential signs of life; the bets made on the young starters have busted (so far), the lineup is banged up and old and no even even looks all that alarmed that they lost two at home to the Mets. You can't even get worked up about Hank Steinbrenner's cute yet vaguely disturbing attempts to do Larry David-esque impressions of his father.

But hey: You can always ask Joe Girardi a question.

It's just odd to see Yankee Stadium go out like this, right? The last home game of the season is September 21 against Baltimore. The Yankees still have another week of games after that. Imagine the Yankees, already long eliminated from the playoff chase, drifting through Toronto and Boston as their stadium in the Bronx sits there, waiting to be destroyed. Welcome, Joe Girardi!

Yankees' manager Joe Girardi disagrees, however. And Don Zimmer disagrees with the disagreement.

So there was Zim Sunday, saying he was "dumbfounded" to hear that Girardi had taken exception to the way Rays rookie Elliot Johnson had bowled over Francisco Cervelli at the plate on Saturday, a collision that left the Yankees' catching prospect with a broken wrist. "What happens if our man slides in with the plate blocked and breaks his leg?" Zimmer said. "Their guy blocked the plate and our guy bowled him over. What's that got to do with spring training? That's the way you play the game."

Girardi had said on Saturday that the play was "uncalled for" in spring training. But instead of whining about it, catchers should be proactive and start wearing spiked shin guards.

Joe Girardi's Stance On Collision Stuns Mentor And Tampa Coach Don Zimmer [New York Daily News]
Where's The Line Between Playing Hard And Playing Dangerous? [AOL Fanhouse]

We hope Girardi has an idea as to who will play third base.

A source tells 1050 ESPN New York's Andrew Marchand that the Yankees have officially offered the job to Joe Girardi. He is expected to accept it and the official announcement may come as early as today.

This morning, Yankees GM Brian Cashman told Don Mattingly and Tony Pena that they will not be offered the job. Girardi was in the Denver for the World Series, he is expected to fly to New York for the announcement, which could come as soon as tomorrow.

Mr. Girardi, do enjoy this brief moment of slight, quick good feeling. Your honeymoon will last about two-to-three days, and that's probably pushing it. All you have to do now is replace a legend, help rebuild a team that seems helplessly behind their historic rivals and, oh yeah, not get fired because you can't get along with the owners. (Again.) Have fun with that.

Yankees Offer Job To Girardi [ESPN 1050]

Buster "Please Don't Make Me Do Anymore Fake Press Conferences" Olney is reporting that Cubs president Andy MacPhail is leaving Wrigley to head Camden Yards way. This means, most likely, that diminutive manager Sam Perlozzo is out the door, probably in favor of Joe Girardi, whose people skills served him well in Florida. The team has been fed up with Perlozzo for a while, and we still kind of wonder if he only got the job because they thought he'd bring best pal Leo Mazzone with him. (All references to Leo Mazzone must include light rocking back and forth; do it with us now.)

Anyway, we're not sure what this means for the Cubs. We think we all know who should be running that team anyway.

O's Hire MacPhail, Eying Girardi [ESPN]
Sam Perlozzo, We Hardly Knew Ye [The Smittblog]

(UPDATE: Baseball Musings says Tom Trebelhorn will manage. We missed that guy.)

(SECOND UPDATE: It's Dave Trembley, not Trebelhorn.)