A truly magical moment: managers from both teams, simultaneously arguing the umpires' call. Buck Showalter? Wrong. First-base ump Dan Iassogna? Wrong. Joe Maddon, claim your prize.

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Shut up, don't ask questions. It doesn't matter why the Rays had a penguin running around in their clubhouse today. All that matters is that penguins are adorable.

For a sport with so many supposed "unwritten rules," baseball sure has a lot of written ones. But the official rulebook is much like the U.S. Constitution: remarkably broad, and designed to allow arbiters to interpret what's in there. One instance that allows for wide latitude is what constitutes an ejectable offense. An …

During his rant on WEEI yesterday, Red Sox punching bag manager Bobby Valentine brought Joe Maddon's name into his excuse for showing up later than usual before a game in Oakland (which he said was due to his son's flight being delayed).

"The most boring ejection in baseball history?" No way, man. Davey Johnson and Joe Maddon, two feisty and erudite managers representing the oldest of old and newest of new schools, have moved into their second day of sniping after Johnson alerted the umps to some pine tar on Joel Peralta's glove. These are angry men, and …

Joe Maddon, you're a damn good sport. (Except when you're calling out the Nationals for a "pussy move" when they bring attention to Joel Peralta's sticky, dripping glove.) Any one of your players could have been the model for the 1979 Rays jersey that never was, but you stepped up and threw on that powder blue like a…

Joe Maddon had some instructions for his bullpen, but the landline call at Marlins Park just wouldn't go through. He couldn't use a carrier pigeon, and he couldn't send a telegram, so Maddon improvised as best he could: He dispatched infielder Will Rhymes to deliver the message. The human element beats the 19th century …

The Rays like to have fun, and nothing screams fun like booty shorts. For the Rays' pregame workout on Saturday, the entire team decided to don short pants, because they're a bunch of guys! Hanging out together! Showing a little thigh!

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.