You're probably used to this sort of subtle cudgel being twirled at cities like New York and Boston, which tend to chew through their heroes just as quickly as they can exalt them. But Tim Keown's piece in the current issue of ESPN The Pulp-Based Periodical is one of the rare stories that quietly rips a place with…

Sometimes the wastefulness of Americans is downright disgusting. We have homeless folks who would be eternally grateful for the shirts off our collective backs and this selfish jerk just decides to ruin his sweater by cutting into it so it would look like a Joe Mauer jersey.

Your morning roundup for Sept. 17, a day we pour one out for the late Jeffrey Jarrett. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors.

Sure, Minnesota Twins catcher may be caught up in the midst of the "Pitchgate" scandal, and he may be batting .190 after going 1-for-4 in an 11-1 drubbing at the hands of the Brewers, but that didn't stop one big fan from dedicating his back to good old Joe.

Your morning roundup for April 16, the day Ralphie turns 40, making a whole lot of people question their very mortality, their confidence as fra-gee-lay as a leglamp.

Your morning roundup for March 25, the day rockhopper penguins fight for their oil-slicked lives.

In the grand tradition of parents naming their kids after sports heroes they can't possibly live up to—and then dressing them up in silly costumes—we proudly present Baby Joe Mauer.

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

Remember when Joe Mauer "agreed" to that 10-year contract over a month ago? Well, Mauer's agent plans to discuss the matter with Twins management very soon. Maybe. They're very close! (Yeah, they're not close.) [SN/Star-Tribune/NYT]

In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Twins fans who locked up their franchise catcher for the next decade. It's not official, but what could possibly go wrong in the final seconds?