So to honor his honorary honor, we'll let Joe Morgan pick the players of the games in today's closer. Well, I'm not asking him specifically, but I have read enough Fire Joe Morgan to understand how this works.

• Whiteout. There was some exceptional pitching by the Colorado Rockies to blank the White Sox in Chicago, 2-0. Jorge De La Rosa, Jason Grilli, Taylor Buchholz and Brian Fuentes all helped to pitch a shutout. So who's the player of the game? How about Willy Taveras, who stole five bases. Oh, sure, none of those steals led to Taveras scoring, but ... stolen bases! Those are hard.

• They're Ba-ack. The Yankees have won eight of 11 and are back in this season thing with an 8-4 smothering of the Houston Astros. Mike Mussina is now at 10-4 on the season, and a lot of Yankees batters contributed, so Joe Morgan will go with Derek Jeter as the player of the game. Granted, he went 1-for-5 with no RBI, runs, or an error, but that's because he doesn't need to prove himself day in and day out. We already know he's special.

• Dramatic-O's. There was a wild one in Baltimore, won by the Orioles 8-7 after a 2-run rally in the ninth. Oscar Salazar's solo home run and Ramon Hernandez's game-winning single sealed the win over the PIttsburgh Pirates. Joe Morgan's player of this game? That's right. It's Dave Concepcion.

Now, of course, a whole cottage industry of Morgan-bashing has developed, led, of course, by Mose Schrute and the gang at Fire Joe Morgan. But let's not forget Michael Lewis' famous (and rather prissy, actually) bitch-slap in Sports Illustrated.

Someday we might have a vote between Morgan and Tim McCarver. But for now: Just Morgan.

So: Do you like the Joe Morgan? Do you not like the Joe Morgan? Let us know.

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Then this morning, another reader points out that some poor shmuck at the Tampa Tribune didn't get the memo on all of this. Sports columnist Joe Henderson constructed an entire column, which ran today, on the premise that Ruth was doing something illegal when he drank beer during prohibition. From the column:

Babe's "juice" was barley-colored and had a foamy head, and it was also against the law to consume it. If we're going to cramp Bonds for bulking up like some cartoon character, then we also must note that 612 of Ruth's 714 career home runs were launched during the Prohibition era.

Poor dope. Sad, really. So should Joe Henderson become the guest of honor in a return engagement of our weekly feature Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks? Probably not. It's Florida, after all. They get a lot of things wrong down there.

Joe Morgan Blows Your Mind [Deadspin]

Well, guess what? The cartoons were just nominated for a Sports Emmy. Yep. In the category of "Outstanding Achievement In Content For Non-Traditional Delivery Platform." Other nominees include ESPN.com's "Off Mikes" and "E Ticket: The Wizard At 95." Honestly? At this rate, that guy below who rapped the Eagles song should be up for one next year.

The other major category? Outstanding Sports Personality: Sports Event Analysts. The nominees? Joe Morgan, Tim McCarver, Troy Aikman, John Madden and Johnny Miller. The Sports Emmys, ladies and gentlemen!

Sport Emmys Nominees [Emmy Online]

ESPN says Gammons will be a regular on the Sunday night broadcasts, though it's not known yet whether he will be in the booth with Morgan and Jon Miller, or if he will be "in the stands." We have a fear that Gammons — whom we genuinely like — will be reduced to Jim Grey status if he's mulling around the stands, so we'll cross our fingers that he's in the booth.

Particularly if he can reign in Morgan a little bit. We are desperate to see some classic Morgan-Gammons discussions on Billy Beane, traditional baseball statistics and (fingers crossed!) Pete Rose. It'll be awesome.

Gammons To Make Three In ESPN Announcing Team [USA Today]

In the summer of 2003, I was flying from DC to SF one night, and Joe Morgan was on the plane. I think that Joe has two sons; well, if not, they were younger-looking kids sitting next to him and he was really getting on them the whole flight (I was sitting in the row behind them). We all start getting off the plane, and he is starting to get more and more heated on these two kids.

Right as we get to the terminal, someone yells. "Hey, It's Joe Morgan." And, Joe Morgan swivels around, all 5-foot-2 of him, looks him in the eye and gives the guy the finger. It was awesome. I wish I were famous.

Though he wasn't seen, Jon Miller was there, blinking, wondering what, if anything, he could possibly say.

Athlete Run-In: Sammy Sosa, Way Back When [Deadspin]

So anyway, yeah: Joe Morgan's going to be broadcasting for the next eight years, at least. Enjoy that, America.

MLB, ESPN Reach Eight-Year Agreement [MLB.com]
Fire Joe Morgan [Blogspot]

(By the way, the guy in that picture with Joe is Joey Jam, the self-proclaimed "Entertainer to the Stars." So you know.)

Our favorite quotes:

I would think [the Cubs] would have to change their direction. They have put all their eggs on Prior and Wood. They have to go in a different direction.

I think [Andruw Jones could win the MVP]. That shouldn't be a deterrant. If you are an MVP, you're BA doesn't really matter. Gibson won it for the Dodgers with a low average and low RBI's. It's MOST VALUABLE .. not MOST VALUABLE STATISTICAL PLAYER.

You're pretty smart, Doug. It seems when the A's play well, it's Billy Beane. When they don't, it's Macha. Macha kep the ship afloat when they were so far under .500. He kept them pointed in the right direction. Last year, someone asked how I could say Macha was doing a great job when it was Beane who got him the players.

Frankly, this whole "Joe Morgan being friendly with the A's" thing is freaking us out a bit. Next thing you know, he's gonna start ripping on bunts.

Chat With Joe Morgan! [ESPN]

No, I shouldn't read the books. 'Cause I don't care about the books. I mean the people reading these books are just a bunch of geeks sitting at computer screens. That's how we got Enron.

My final comment on Harry Potter - I didn't read the book. If you liked Harry Potter, then follow that theory. I personally prefer my comic books with less words and more pictures.

Joe Morgan Chats About The Half-Blood Prince [Large Regular]

Why would I wanna read ["Moneyball"]? All I'm saying is, I see a game every day. I watch baseball every day. I have a better understanding about why things happen than the computer, because the computer only tells you what you put in it. I could make that computer say what I wanted it to say, if I put the right things in there. ... The computer is only as good as what you put in it. How do you think we got Enron?

We don't have the slightest idea what that means. Morgan also made news this week for announcing that he will not attend the Hall of Fame induction ceremonies for the first time since 1990. This is significant because this year Cubs second baseman Ryne Sandberg will be inducted; Morgan has long blasted Sandberg as overrated and not comparable to Morgan's great career. The good news: At least Morgan, unlike White Sox outfielder Carl Everett, admits that there were once dinosaurs. We think.

Say It Ain't So, Joe [San Francisco Weekly]
Another Reason To Dislike Joe Morgan [Cub Reporter]

(By the way, the guy in that picture with Joe is Joey Jam, the self-proclaimed "Entertainer to the Stars." So you know.