Torre, who described watching the Yankees in Fall Classic as "surreal," is tickled pink that the Yankees won the World Series. He is especially happy for Alex Rodriguez and manager Joe Girardi.

"To watch what they've done, especially with Joe Girardi at the helm, it really made me feel good," Torre said. "Even though I am supposed to be a National League fan, when you're as close to these guys as I've been all these years, well, I was just really pleased for them."

I don't know, I'm not buying it. Wouldn't it make more sense for Torre to be resentful about the Yankees pulling it off without him at the helm? On the other hand, perhaps all that yoga and New Age bullcrap Torre is into now that he lives in Los Angeles allows him to look at it from a more positive perspective. What do you mean Torre is probably not into yoga? That State Farm commercial was totally real, right?

Joe Torre: Watching Joe Girardi, Yankees win World Series was 'surreal' [New York Daily News]

Former Yankee and Country Buffet enthusiast David Wells gets his licks in on Tim Montemayor's show on Sporting News Radio recently. Let's listen to the fun.

Joe Torre should be called J-Fraud. He managed guys like Jeter — guys that were very easy to manage — those everyday players. But when there were guys under the bubble that were struggling, or basket cases like me I guess, he didn’t want anything to do with us.

Joe, he wasn’t tough on guys, he just treated you like crap. If you weren’t in his little circle — the circle of trust — then he could care less about you. I’ve had quite a few confrontations with him. It’s like guys get to fly early … I had to fly with the team — it’s stuff like that. If you’re going to do it for one guy, you might as well do it for the rest, and that’s what he didn’t do with the majority of guys.

Among Torre's boys, according to Wells, were Paul O'Neill, Andy Pettitte, Mariano Rivera, Derek Jeter and Roger Clemens.

Then, on "The Mason & Ireland Show," 710-AM ESPN Radio in Los Angeles, Wells talked about the line in the Torre book in which he wrote "The difference between Kevin Brown and David Wells is that both make your life miserable, but David Wells meant to."

"I'm kind of like blown away because of the fact that he's coming out and he's bashing," Wells said. "I found out last night that he was bashing me and Kevin Brown. He bashed Kevin Brown as a player, when he said he tried to make his life miserable. Nobody tries to make anybody's life miserable out there on the diamond. You're there for one reason and one reason only, and that's to win. If I was trying to make his life miserable, I would have succeeded.

"What we do as athletes, that's our problem, our business, and a lot of guys have come out and destroyed that," Wells said. "That's why they don't have any friends. You just don't do that, and that's what Joe did. When you break the code, you're a punk."

No telling where this will end; I'm just hoping it doesn't end soon. Any bat boys or security guards who have a Yankee story they'd like to relate? New York cabbie: "Torre was a lousy tipper." That book, co-written by me, will be out in May.

David Wells Calls Out Joe Torre: J-Fraud [Larry Brown Sports]
Wells Comments On Torre's Book [MLB.com]
David Wells: Joe Torre Had His 'Boys' [Newsday]

Here are some of the Post's "A-Team," responding to the book's allegations that third baseman Alex Rodriguez is a self-absorbed diva, has a "Single White Female"-like obsession with Derek Jeter, and is genuinely disliked by his teammates.

• One A-Rod source responded: "It's a last-ditch effort, given Torre's diminishing profile. It's one final act of desperation. he probably realized that he made the single mistake of his career leaving the team."

• Johnny Damon: "Alex is a great teammate. We have his back."

• NYP columnist Mike Vacarro rips into Torre: "Why, Joe? Why would you take a blowtorch to that bridge? Why would you justify all the sinister things your enemies always hinted about you: that you were a champion grudge-holder, that the disparity between public pied piper and private grouch was considerable, that you were someone who'd do just about anything for a buck?"

• Grouchy-faced Andrea Peyser even chimed in:"Torre has turned into a paranoid, troubled twin of Richard Nixon - finding enemies and conspirators behind every corner of the dugout. He's blaming everyone for his losses and failures as the highest-paid manager in baseball history. Everyone, that is, except himself."

The book's co-author, SI baseball columnist Tom Verducci, was interviewed by SI and said the NYP's assertions that this book is a "tell-all" are not accurate — and dumb:

"Smart people will judge the book upon actually reading it and not reading preliminary reports prior to its publication. Once you understand the context of the book you understand the information. It's not a tell-all book. Anybody who reads it will understand that."

Even Alex Rodriguez?

In an explosive new book called "The Yankee Years," Torre gets most personal in his attacks against Alex Rodriguez, who he says was called "A-Fraud" by his teammates after he developed a "Single White Female"-like obsession with team captain Derek Jeter and asked for a personal clubhouse assistant to run errands for him.

Well of course he needed a personal clubhouse assistant. How could you expect him to perfectly emulate Derek Jeter's clothing, accessories, and mannerisms without a one?

Of course Torre is equally forthcoming when it comes to the topic of the Yankees nefarious front office.

The book also reveals that, during spring training in 1999, team doctors revealed to owner George Steinbrenner that Torre had prostate cancer - even before informing the manager himself.

Yeah, that's kind of fucked up.

TORRE RIPS 'A-FRAUD' & BOSS' BRASS BOZOS

We don't think Torre quite looks right in a Dodgers uniform; after years of Tommy Lasorda in that thing, sheesh, the guy almost looks too skinny. (Must be all the tea.) He's got a three-year deal, and we hope he spends every day of those three years hanging out with Vin Scully. They kind of deserve each other. They're both on the current Mt. Rushmore of baseball, they've both seen far better days and they both are kind of humored by everyone because of all they've accomplished in the past. Oh, and Joe? Block Lasorda's phone number. Seriously.

Torre Gets A Sunny Welcome [New York Times]

Your new manager: Joe Torre! [Blue Notes]

Pretty much everywhere Grady Little has turned the last few years ... there has been Joe Torre, making his life miserable.

We imagine Grady Little will end up managing somewhere, though it seems like Japan might be his best bet. We can see Grady being incredibly popular in Japan, actually; he'd certainly have an amusing personality-themed restaurant.

Grady Little Could Do Without Joe Torre [And Your Kids Too]

Torre, 67, could be named manager in the next 24 hours, according to two sources close to the situation. Don Mattingly is expected to accompany Torre to Los Angeles as his bench coach.

The Dodgers were 82-80 this season under Little and were beset by clubhouse unrest. Owner Frank McCourt, a Boston native, decided Torre is best suited to quell that situation. It is expected that Torre will receive at least a three-year contract.

Quite the scoop, if it comes true. (The Dodgers are actually saying they're still interested in Joe Girardi, which is cute). We somehow think Vin Scully and Joe Torre belong together, and hey, we suppose it makes sense: Joe usually doesn't wake up until the third or fourth inning either.

Torre, Mattingly Expected To Team Up With Dodgers [The Journal News]

He will be classy, measured, mature and totally no fun. We'd love to see him lose his mind, start railing about how Steinbrenner soils himself, how his kids are morons, how Brian Cashman once killed a hooker just to watch her die. We'd love to see him let go of all his frustrations after a decade of being jerked around and emerging, somehow, victorious as the most popular Yankees of them all.

He won't do this, of course, but it's fun to play pretend.

To see what he actually does, we invite you to join The Assimilated Negro with a fun live-blog of Torre's press conference, which begins after the jump. We hope TAN can adequately describe the sensation of watching a man unburden himself by stripping off his clothing and jumping in the Hudson River.

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3:11. Thanks everyone who actually read this through. We should get drinks and share in the pain. It was a pretty boring press conference as far as boring press conferences go. What I tried to do was convey that boredom through my use of words and punctuation marks; I can only hope I was successful. See you next time when ARod takes out the trash. Cheers!

3:10. IT'S OVER!!! Praise Steinbrenner!

3:09. Breaking: Joe Torre isn't going back to the locker. He's already done that.

3:06. Black people do this. White people do that. It's funny cause it's true.

3:02. The questions are taking longer to come. And they haven't changed since the first 15 minutes. Joe is hungrily scanning the audience for participation though. He's also identifying everyone personally now and having a chuckle before the questions. He definitely loves press conferences. On the other hand, I'm never going to watch another one again. I never thought I'd be longing for a Dane Cook commercial ... but ...

3:00. I hate to tell you this, but there are still people asking questions....

2:56. Joe Torre's fussing over $5-$7M, and ARod is wondering if he can get $400M. That's kind of funny. Right? Work with me please. Instead of Jeter, maybe Arod should just come and buy everyone at the press conference and put them in a big house and just play with them for a year. Maybe start a reality show? And a network built around that reality show. I volunteer to do a live blog on the launch of the blog about that show. Should be fun! Oh, that's what we need. More exclamation points!!

2:54. Might as well get some of these commercials out the way: The Lean on Me reference was sponsored by Black History Month Is Every Month Coalition. We thank you for your patronage.

2:52. Joe Torre just blinked. He's losing his hair also. Live on the television. Don't worry I'm capturing every titillating moment for you. This is a great time!

2:50. Joe Torre just made some jokes about his wife being bored with him in the house, or something like that. We're at that point in the press conference, it's like small talk jokes amongst Torre and his beat writer buddies. Please someone do something newsworthy. Like find George Steinbrenner's body.

2:47. We're approaching 50 minutes. What if Joe Torre just decides his new job is holding press conferences and answering the same questions again and again? What do I do then? Please help. I think I've been duped.

2:46. A spanish reporter just told Joe that she speaks Spanish, and would normally use that language, but for him she's going to ask the question in English. I've forgotten the question.

2:45. Hmmm. Ok. Wouldn't it be awesome if Derek Jeter drove up on a motorcycle, with a studded leather jacket on, and some hottest-chick-in-the-world hanging on to his taut belly (!), and ran to the podium and just started yelling, "Mr. Torre Must Stay! Mr. Torre Must Stay!" and whipped everyone into a frenzy? If you've seen "Lean on Me," with Morgan Freeman as bat-wielding principal Joe Clark — If you haven't, YOU MUST SEE IT! Tonight. Watch it with someone you love. You'll feel better. — the scene would be like the finale in that movie. And then Torre would cry .. .and eventually change his mind, and take the offer, and win the World Series. Right there on the steps in front of city hall..... I'm crying now. Are you crying too? Are you crying from the scene or because you're reading a liveblog of the Joe Torre press conference.

2:43. How did we decide to liveblog Joe Torre's press conference. Wow. I'm doing a lot of looking in the mirror this weekend. Me and Joe have thinking to do. About life, and stuff.

2:40. This whole thing just really raises the issue of baseball managers in general. If you start parsing the details, you can't help but want to say ... WTF DO YOU DO???? You sign off on stuff? Wanna steal? ok. Wanna pitch? ok. The results are dictated by the players. And the GM puts the players on the roster. The manager hangs out and gets paid. Breaking News: Anyone could manage the Yankees. At least to the playoffs. What are Jeter and ARod gonna do, take themselves out the lineup? I like thinking about one of the commenters sitting in the dugout mulling with the pitching coach on whether "it's time for Mariano." I think it's time for a Who Wants to Manage the Yankees? reality show. Let's make some money.

2:38. I openly challenge George Steinbrenner to a Scrabulous duel!

2:35. Someone's reading the live-blog and asked Joe "what he thought of this turnout," and he got a little choked up. He didn't go in for the kill though. Someone should use the "l-word."

2:31. Joe says he wishes the umps stopped the game during The Bug Bowl. I can use a football reference, right? Mr. Torre would forgive me.

2:30. Ok, we're half-hour in. Now I"m serious. Where's Steinbrenner? Alive? If you're alive George, please email. i won't believe it until you send me a message on myspace facebook.

2:29. A little tension about Randy Levine. Q: What do you think of him? A: I don't deal with him. And not as smooth as Joe usually is.

2:28. The emotion is gone. We need more tears! Where's Waldman? We need tougher emotionally leading questions. What do you think of Jeter? What did you get Don Zimmer for his birthday?

2:27. Joe Torre's suggestion to the next guy is "Just Be Yourself." I think the book comes out in ttime for spring training next year.

2:26. He suggests that "someone must have nudged him" regarding Steinbrenner. So there IS a conspiracy! I hear The Sopranos theme song faintly rising in the background.

2:25. Who's going to Joe Torre's Media Potluck dinner tonight?I hear everyone's gonna be there ...

2:23. No Steinbrenner. Joe's first mention of him as a "tough taskaster who wants what he pays for." Can anyone verify Steinbrenner is still alive? Press releases don't count. I won't believe it until I see it on youtube.

2:21. While I have an audience, I'm announcing a press conference, just to try it out. I'm announcing that I'm turning down Leitch's offer of $5. With $.50 options every thousand page views. I'm used to $75, STRAIGHT UP. That's the deal. I ushered Deadspin into the post civil rights era. $5 is a slap in the face.

2:19. Q: Is the door absolutely shut? A: I can't say that. But I'm not predictor of the future. If there's a trust established. I'm open. But I don't anticipate it happening.

2:17. "Time for him to look back and appreciate..." all his records and legendary status. Etc. Etc. You almost forget he's made over $70M or something with this job. He'll be ok I think.

2:15. Q: Do you think they offered it knowing that you would turn it down? A: That's for you guys to decide. Q: Would two years have made a difference? A: The paycut was the big issue. It means they're dissatisfied. But two years would have opened a door for communication, yes. (I'm paraphrasing).

2:13. Joe Torre just took a drink of water ... I think this might be a peak moment.

2:12. Nothing new here. He's basically verifying what everyone has said. The contract was a slap in the face (translated to PC Joe Torrese), and that's pretty much it. No negotiating.

2:10. Still laughing from the text message story. Give me time to recover.

2:08. Before questions Torre has an anecdote, About a text message , struggling actor nephew who texted him. He reads, "uncle joe, you may feel a desire to thank me for being such an inspiration to you. but it's not necessary." Hmmm, that was good. Right? .... Here come the questions...

2:07. He thanked Cashman, I guess cause he didn't thank him when he thanked everyone else.

2:06. He's explaining himself. It's what everyone has presumed. The terms were rude. And he didn't want all the stress and added pressure of having to worry about the manager.

2:05. A minute in and we have our first break for cathartic release! This might be very very good.... Ok, he's composed himself. And the server is slow, so I'm able to continue my thought before publishing. Fair warning.

2:04. Joe is wearing a nice suit, and is emotional right off the bat. He starts thanking Scrooge McSteinbrenner. Players, coaches, so no individual mentions of every employee for the past 12 years.

2:03. Hee we go!

2:02. Hasn't started. Should I say something? Ok ...What I do find interesting about this story is that both parties are right, and for both it has everything to do with cachet and nothing to do with $. Yanks offer him top dollar, without the World Series premium. Torre sees a paycut as a slap in the face, which it is. What are you gonna do? Hold a press conference? Liveblog it? Oh, right.

1:59. Watching on YES. Packed house.

1:58. Fair warning: Will told me "go nuts," and I have a genetic disposition towards rambling, and I'm not anticipating this press conference to have much in the way of excitement, so, y'know, ... good luck! Also, I love you. I love you like my father, Joe Torre.

1:57. I'm not sure what channel to watch. It's goign live on most local news networks.

1:55. Breaking News: Joe Torre has TURNED DOWN the Yankees. He will no longer be the manager.

At his postgame press conference after the Game 4 loss, Torre looked like a man at peace with the fact that he wasn't going to manage the Yankees anymore. And the Yankees looked like a team that couldn't exactly keep matters the way they were going. So everybody gets to save face. Torre gets to walk away, head high. The Yankees get to pretend they wanted Torre to come back, and even though no one believes them, they at least have talking points to follow.

An era ends, but it was probably time. We can all move on with our lives now. And by "move on with our lives," we mean "strap in for around-the-clock A-Rod coverage." Are you prepared for the Yankees leading "SportsCenter" over Game 5 of the World Series? Get ready.

So Who's In Charge Here? [The LoHud Yankees Blog]

(UPDATE: Apparently, according to YES, the Yankees offered Torre a one-year deal at $5 million, with playoff incentives and an option. And he said no.)

While some say Torre should go the Casey Stengel route, we look at a managerial possibility for the Yanks: Don Mattingly. We were talking to a life-long Yankees fan the other night about Donnie Baseball, and he said he didn't want him to get the job for one reason: "I can't boo Donnie." We found that charming; part of the job of being a Yankees fan is booing the manager, and if it's someone as beloved as Mattingly, it would be too painful. Of course, Mattingly brings his own curse.

We still hope Tony LaRussa ends up with the job. Watching him fight with the New York beat writers every day would be a sublime joy.

Yankees To Debate On Future Of Torre [New York Times]
Joe Torre, I Have A Job For You [One More Dying Quail]
Is There A Curse Of Mattingly? [Village Voice]

We're not gonna live blog this game tonight, because we're not sure anyone could top Sussman's effort last week. (Oh, and he was busy.) But Indians fans, who certainly have been as tortured as anybody else's in baseball, have to be a little concerned about trotting out Paul Byrd tonight, even if he's facing a short-rested Chien-Ming Wang.

We're still waiting for A-Rod to become a major part of this series. Could be tonight, so cue the purple lipstick.

Random Thoughts Before Game 4 [The LoHud Yankees Blog]

We're pleased not every series turned out a sweep; we're having too much fun to take off that many nights from baseball.

(Getty Images Photo)

Just to remind, Sheffield told Andrea Kremer on HBO's "Real Sports" (a.k.a., "What The HELL Happened To Frank Deford?"):

"I know when I was there, the couple of blacks that were there, every one of them had an issue with the organization. They had an issue with Joe Torre. They weren't treated like everybody else. I got called out in a couple of meetings that I thought were unfair."

Later in the same interview, Sheffield came with this nugget of wisdom: "Steroids are something you shoot in your butt." Someone alert Tim Hardaway!

Anyway, Sheffield isn't exactly renowned for his restraint, so basically calling out the entire Yankees organization for being racist should probably be taken with a large grain of sodium. But then Kenny Lofton — a guy so popular he's played for 11 teams in 16 years — chimes in saying, "Gary knows what he's talking about," and suddenly, we've got a scandal. We're sorry, a "scandal."

Torre remains mum on the whole issue, and so far, his only character witness has been Darryl Strawberry, for whatever that's worth. (Derek Jeter, being "only half black," probably can't help either.) During last night's ESPN broadcast, Joe Morgan surprisingly refused to come to Torre's defense, saying, "you really have to be a member of the team to understand what goes on in the clubhouse." The whole telecast — which is pretty much the weekly mass for The Baseball Establishment" — played up the "scandal" more than you might have expected; one would think calling out a baseball legend as a pseudo-racist would require a more stable witness than Gary Sheffield.

That said, we're going to enjoy this; any organization that, according to Sheffield, treats Jason Giambi "like a man" is bound to have countless more skeletons in their closet. Does Torre hate Japanese players too? We hope the Yankees don't sign any Eskimos.

As you'd suspect, The Nation Of Islam Sports Blog has plenty to say about this.

"The season is still very young, but up to now the results are clearly not acceptable to me or to Yankee fans," Steinbrenner said in a statement released through his personal PR man, Howard Rubenstein. "However, Brian Cashman our general manager, Joe Torre our manager and our players all believe that they will turn this around quickly. I believe in them. I am here to support them in any way to help them accomplish this turnaround."

"It is time to put excuses and talk away. It is time to see if people are ready to step up and accept their responsibilities. It is time for all of them to show me and the fans what they are made of. Let's get going. Let's go out and win and bring a world championship back to New York. That's what I want."

As always, Steinbrenner was nowhere to be seen, talking instead through faxed press releases. We have decided we've had about enough of this silliness. Everyone likes to believe that Steinbrenner is the overlording godfather, looming above everyone and firing thunderbolts down at the mere mortals. But that Steinbrenner hasn't existed in a decade. He's just a sick, old man, protected and shielded with a myth, whom we suspect isn't even aware much anymore that the Yankees are even playing. He dodders down there in Tampa and occasionally propped up for public appearances. Why people still play around and humor this notion that Steinbrenner is a presence anymore is confounding. Perhaps we need Steinbrenner, we need to believe that baseball owners aren't just faceless corporations who care far more about their revenue sharing and online media deals than whether their team wins or loses. But it's not true: Steinbrenner is a mirage from an older time, hiding behind press releases so we don't see how decrepit he has really become. Perhaps it's time to give up the ghost.

Torre Gets Off With Warning [New York Daily News]