Deadspin: joel zumaya

Why, I'll Show You Rumormongering, Mr. Reporter Man

sussman — Sat, 03 Nov 2007 18:45:00 EDT

In the column inches of metro daily paper on a peaceful Saturday morning, somewhere between the high school box scores and soft news on retired athletes, you wouldn't expect to find a rant about blogs.

Detroit News sports reporter person Chris McCosky was asked to fill space on the weekend, so he went with the "bloggers are not real reporters because they don't talk to people" story:

A lot of times these bloggers use the work of legitimate reporters. They will lift facts and segments of stories and cut and paste them onto their blog. Rarely, if ever, though, do they bother to credit the source.
...

Bloggers are having a field day speculating on how Joel Zumaya really injured his shoulder. Nobody believes a heavy box fell on him. So the Internet is rife with stories about how he fell off his dirt bike.

As a Tigers fan, I knew about Zumaya's untimely injury, but I didn't hear about the dirt bike angle. Unfortunately, McCosky didn't cite which blog said this, so I'll never know.

But because there is no accountability, because there are no repercussions for being wrong, because they will never have to look Zumaya in the face, who cares? Make up whatever you want.

Well, I wasn't gonna make stuff up, but ... oh why not.

One day Chris McCosky got piss drunk and stumbled into a day care, punching any children that got in his way. He stole seven vanilla cupcakes and three kids' blankies. He tied the blankies totogether, forming a cape, and pretended to fly out of the day care. Once he reached the sidewalk, he crashed into an unsuspecting Joel Zumaya, who was out walking his Yorkshire terrier. McCosky was unhurt, as Zumaya's right shoulder broke his fall. According to numerous reliable eyewitness accounts, McCosky promptly got up, stole a dirt bike that was parked on the side of the road, and drove to work.

Bloggers Just Aren't Journalists [Detroit News]
From the No Shit Sherlock Files [The Big Lead]
Newsflash: Reporter Hates Bloggers [The Detroit Tiger Weblog]

Joel Zumaya Is Just Like The Undertaker

Leitch — Mon, 02 Apr 2007 12:45:54 EDT

Sometimes we forget that the men we watch and obsess over on the baseball diamond are mostly children themselves, not just in age, but in a state of perpetual arrested development. They are gleeful imps, lucky to be allowed to frolic for a living.

That is to say: They love wrestling, Guitar Hero and being on the TV.

Detroit Tigers Curtis Granderson and Joel Zumaya were giddy when they got to their ringside seats at Sunday's WrestleMania 23 at Ford Field in downtown Detroit. "Pay for the pay-per-view," Zumaya yelled in his cell phone to his mother. "We're going to be on TV!"

Sure, they were amped about their last practice before Opening Day — Granderson says it went extremely well — but they were more juiced about how they'd be able to see the Undertaker, their favorite wrestler. "He's crazy like I am," Zumaya said of the Undertaker. "No, actually, I'm crazy like he is."

The fact that Joel Zumaya excitedly calls his mother and tells her to buy Wrestlemania on PPV so she can see him in the crowd makes it rather impossible for us not to like him.

Tigers Swap Grand Slams For Body Slames [Detroit Free Press]

Joel Zumaya Puts His Life In Rock's Hands

Leitch — Thu, 14 Dec 2006 11:45:52 EST

Remember in the American League Championship Series, when flamethrowing, red-eyeballed righthander Joel Zumaya was sidelined with a "right wrist and forearm inflammation?" It turned out not to matter, because the Tigers blitzed the A's in four games, but had there been some tighter games late, it could have been costly not to have Zumaya around. Zumaya's violent pitching motion had been thought the cause of the troubles, but it turns out there was a decidedly different explanation.

Club president and general manager Dave Dombrowski told WXYT-AM (1270) on Wednesday the team had concluded Zumaya's injury resulted from playing a video game, not from his powerful throwing motion. "That was probably what was taking place," Dombrowski later told the Free Press.

Zumaya, 22, was known to play "Guitar Hero," a PlayStation 2 game in which a player uses a guitar-shaped controller to simulate the performance of popular songs.

This makes perfect sense and is in no way indicative of other possible injuries. It can be awfully difficult to hit those ripping chords on "Rhythm Of The Saints," we'll give Joel that.

Guitar Video Game Hurt Zumaya's Arm [Baseball Think Factory]
Breaking: Athletes Also Like To Jack Off To Internet [Deadspin]