"They were throwing down," said [Dave Benz, an eyewitness]. "They must have each gotten in a good three or four swings. Then all of a sudden, the bigger guy who I found out later was Levi Jones, picked up Joey Porter and tossed him probably 10 feet like he was a rag doll." Benz said there was about 10 seconds where people broke the fight up, but said Porter broke loose and went after Jones again."

Joey Porter broke free and ran full sprint at Levi Jones and dove through the air at him like he was trying to tackle Ladanian Tomlinson. Took him down with a tackle, then the two of them got up. They were throwing fists again. It sounded like a 'Rocky' movie."

When you realize how big Levi Jones is, it's not surprisingly that he would both tower over Porter and also not be able to get rid of him, at all.

Save Some Of That For The Sequel [Chicks Did The Long Ball]
We'd Recommend Not Playing Blackjack With Joey Porter [Deadspin]

But, alas, no! He's just making the Dolphins a tougher team, according to Greg Cote in The Miami Herald.

The Dolphins are paying Porter big money, nearly starting-quarterback money — $32 million over five years, most of it guaranteed — to do more than make tackles and sacks from his outside linebacker spot. They are buying a player with attitude. A badass. They are buying an athlete who — by association, maybe by osmosis — might inspire teammates to be more emotional on the volatile side, and make the entire Dolphins brand perceived as tougher, scarier. On Sunday night, they began getting their money's worth.

We are absolutely behind this idea; it is perfectly reasonable that, in the future, NFL players will receive performance bonuses for off-the-field attacks. It's a logical extension of what's already happening. No wonder the Bengals were over the salary cap!

Joey Being Joey [Chicks Dig The Long Ball]
We'd Recommend Not Playing Blackjack With Joey Porter [Deadspin]

A fist fight between two NFL players broke out in the Palms casino on Sunday night, sources said. Joey Porter, an All-Pro linebacker who recently left the Pittsburgh Steelers to join the Miami Dolphins, brawled with Cincinnati Bengals offensive lineman Levi Jones, at about 6 p.m. at a blackjack table in the casino. Jones, who suffered scratches, told Las Vegas police he would be filing charges against Porter. Sources said there has been bad blood between the two.

This was about 14 hours ago, so expect more details to filter out in the next few hours. We imagine Levi splitting when Porter wanted him to double down, and that just showed a total lack for Joey, and it all went downhill from there. We can't wait until Porter gets to Miami ... if he actually makes it.

Breaking: Joey Porter Brawls With Bengals Lineman Levi Jones In Las Vegas [The Big Lead]

Therefore, we're not exactly eager to see how Porter handles being released.

Quoth the Kevin Colbert, the Steelers' director of football operations: "Unfortunately, sometimes you have to terminate a good player, just to make it all work."

Careful, Colbert: You just insulted Porter something fierce. He's about to get mad dog on your ass. And by "mad dog," we mean "he will eat you."

Steelers Cut Joey Porter [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]

More impressive, though, might be Carson Palmer's — excuse me, Anthony Wright's — back-up, Doug Johnson. The Bengals 3rd string QB cracked the top six in the voting with 2.3%. I wouldn't have guessed that 2.3% of NFL players would have even voted for Doug Johnson as an NFL player.

To get that kind of a percentage while being that anonymous of a guy ... Well, Doug Johnson must work very hard at being a prick, much harder than he works at being a quarterback. It says here that the biggest knock on him at the time he was drafted was that he was "immature." I'm guessing that's an understatement.

Either that, or he's the one guy on the Bengals roster who will say things like, "Hey, Chris Henry, you probably don't need to carry that gun into the shower with you," or maybe, "Chris, I was thinking that the huddle might not be the most appropriate place for a bottle of courvoisier." I could see a large portion of the Bengals roster finding that goody-two-shoes act annoying.

It's also disappointing to see Fred Smoot on the list with 2% of the vote. He's really only annoying if you don't like things being shoved in you.

Who is the most annoying player in the NFL? [SI.com]
Getting to know Vick's replacement [NFL.com]

"You know, that was probably a poor choice of words. So if I offended anybody, I apologize for that...I don't know ... I guess because how we used that word freely, me growing up using that word, I didn't think anything of it. Like I said, I apologize to anyone I may have offended. I didn't mean to offend anybody but Kellen Winslow. That's pretty much that. I don't want to put any more into it...Whatever I say is going to be on an extra level anyway. But like I said, I didn't think it was that big of a deal when I said it anyway. So it's over with it."

We love that Porter says he only meant to offend Winslow by calling him a "fag;" as Michael Scott put it, "You don't call retarded people retards. It's bad taste. You call your friends retards when they are acting retarded. And I consider Oscar a friend." We also enjoyed the ESPN story about this, which contained the following quote: "The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reported that the slur Porter used is a derogatory term sometimes uttered to describe homosexual men." Nance? Pegboy? Which was it? (There are tons here.) We think it's possible that Joey is just a little, oh, confused.

Joey Porter Issues "Apology" [Towleroad]
Who Put This Thing Together? [Just Sayin']
Aaron's Dictionary Of Gay Terms [Aaron's Gay Info]

We'd like to express surprise that Porter's dogs are a pit bull and mastiff; we would have absolutely pegged him for a chihuahua or pomeranian guy. Porter has apologized for the incident, saying, "I am not sure how the dogs escaped. We have a very secure yard with a six-foot fence around it and this has never happened before. I have reached out to the owners of the horse and will do whatever I can to help them get through this very unfortunate situation."

But the real story? Well, the horse had been talking about the dogs, about how they weren't so tough, and the dogs just took that as a sign of disrespect, you know? And the dogs AREN'T GOING TO BE DISRESPECTED. Hey, they come into THEIR house and start hatin'? Ya'll better expect to get your neck chomped, WOOF WOOF!

Joey Porter's Dogs Get Loose [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]

The good news, Pittsburgh fans, is that you've won your opener 28-17 over the Miami Dolphins, behind three touchdown passes from Charlie Batch (!!!???) and an interception return for a touchdown from Joey Porter, who celebrated by setting the goalposts on fire and then eating them.

The bad news: As we learned from Nick Saban, if it comes up at all this year, coach Bill Cowher will apparently be unable to use a challenge ... to see whether or not he used a challenge.

We love it when the NFL gets all meta.

Steelers 28, Dolphins 17 [NFL.com] (Photo by Getty Images)

(By the way ... that really was Pink, wasn't it? Right? Heavens: Keep that thing away from Costas.)

The public perception of Porter is one of, oh, mental instability, but through SI abbreviated prose, we can see him for who he actually is, in everyday life. Take, for example, his wedding day.

"He showed up late for their wedding in 1999. According to Porter, his best man was being cited for parking illegally on an east Bakersfield street, and the groom-to-be bristled when the officers called for a search of Ross's tricked-out Chevy Impala. One cop ordered Porter to cross the street and keep quiet; predictably, he refused.

"Typical Bakersfield cops, doing what they do — harassing and intimidating," Porter says. "They threw me in handcuffs for asking questions and left me in the back of the police car in 110 heat with the engine turned off. I'd pissed them off so much, they drove me all the way downtown and then let me go. We were so damn mad, we all went back to my house and started drinking." When he finally arrived at his wedding, he says, "we were drunk and almost three hours late. My wife probably thought I wasn't coming."

It is in this way that Porter reveals that he is, ultimately, not so different than you or us. Clearly.

Joey Porter Will Scorn A Bitch [Mr. Irrelevant]

"I want to — look, I was a Texas Cowboy fan, you know. (Laughter.) Dallas Cowboy fan — and — yes, I know, I know."

"So he (Steelers owner Dan Rooney) took my phone call after about three hours of sleep. And he was a gentleman then, when I apologized for waking him up; he's a gentleman today. Again, I want to publicly apologize — (laughter) — for routing you out of your sack."

"I appreciate Hines Ward, Super Bowl MVP, who traveled to his mother's home country of South Korea to inspire children of multiracial backgrounds speak out against discrimination. I thought that was an act of — (applause.)"

So, in summary, he's unaware of the name of his favorite team, he messed with Dan Rooney's sack, and was applauded for not finishing a sentence. Pretty standard, really.

As for Joey Porter, I don't think he got any of his money back. He did make a bit of a fashion statement, though, showing up in a fetching pair of sunglasses. And as noted by Jerloma here in The Sports Frog's Swamp, yeah, he does kind of look like Kanye West there. Maybe that was Joey's form of silent protest. Maybe thought, "Hey, I can't say anything, but I could try to look like the guy who once said that he doesn't care about black people. It will be subtle and clever, as people have come to expect from Joey Porter."

Or maybe not.

"I want to — look, I was a Texas Cowboy fan, you know" [The Swamp]
Joey Porter Doesn't Like Bush? [this probably isn't worth your time]
President Welcomes Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers to the White House [whitehouse.gov]

All right. [clears throat] Here goes:

Steelers linebacker Joey Porter will undergo arthroscopic knee surgery and could miss the beginning of the season.

So, Joey: Through this statement of fact, we mean not to imply any disrespect or understating of your ability to defy the laws of biology and immediately heal yourself through the strength of your will and the depth of your character. We are sure this knee injury is simply the media/your opponent/that guy you saw in the mall the other day attempting to keep you down by being a "hater." We know you had been trying to keep your cool, but this is too much for a reasonable man such as yourself to resist blowing up over. We understand. We did not mean to question your invincibility.

Please do not kill us. Thank you.

Porter Faces More Knee Surgery [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]
Joey Porter's Security Risk [Deadspin]

Anyway, it's one thing to fire yourself up about Jerramy Stevens. It's another thing to fire yourself up about President Bush. But that's what Porter has done, leading up to the defending champs' meeting with the Prez next month.

"Yeah, I got something to say to Bush, I'm going to have a swagger when I walk in there, too," Porter said, laughing loudly. "I'm looking forward to it. I have something to tell him, too. I don't like the way things are running right now. I feel like he has to give me some of my money back, so I got something to tell Bush."

Warning to the Secret Service: Watch out for the guy wearing the eyeblack, shoulder pads and mouthpiece, the one crouching in the corner, bobbing up and down, whispering, "We must protect this HOUSE!" He could be trouble.

Porter Expects To Jaw At White House Visit [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]