•It's pretty much unanimous: everyone hates Liberty National, the golf course built over a toxic industrial site in Jersey City. Well, what do they expect? Nicky Santoro is buried under the 15th green.

•So, which is worse, a clubhouse cancer like T.O. or your number one receiver being Patrick Crayton? That's life for the Cowboys for a while, after Roy Williams goes down with a shoulder injury.

•John Elway to tie the knot tomorrow with former a former Raiderette. Hope he had his fun, because once she says "I do," she won't let him near her black hole ever again.

•Your Little League World Series final four: California, Georgia Texas, Mexico and Taiwan. The semis are tomorrow, and finals on Sunday. So, no need to leave the house to get your crying children fix this weekend.

•Mike Vick lines up in the slot, in the shotgun and behind center - and only one of his six plays goes for a decent gain. Yup, he'll fit in just fine as an Eagles QB.

•Yes, it's come to this: extreme pogo jumping. Not nearly as hardcore as extreme jump rope, which I believe involves barbed wire.

•Don't act like you wouldn't pay to see this. From "Dr. Coolsex," the live action Mario Kart movie:

Jack Elway has dropped out of the Arizona State football program, after sitting out all of last season as a redshirt. He's not transferring or changing sports and he's not hurt or going on a Mormon mission or anything like that. He's not even planning to drop out of Arizona State. He just doesn't want to play football anymore. I didn't know sons of former NFL legends were allowed to do that.

I guess poor Jack will just have to resign himself to the life of every other famous, well-off teenage student taking classes and admiring co-eds in the Arizona sunshine, instead of running wind sprints and taking cheap shots from second-team linebackers eight months a year. It's your funeral, pal!

ASU QB Elway leaving football [Arizona Republic]

Joe Starkey is retiring as play-by-play voice of the 49ers. Don't recognize the name? He's the broadcaster who always sounds like his testicles are wired to a car battery, as this legendary clip demonstrates.

They simply call it The Play: That game-ending kickoff in 1982 in which Cal scored a multi-lateral touchdown — plowing through the Stanford band in the process — to win the Big Game. John Elways' tearful post-game quote: "The band ruined my college career," was delicious, but nothing helped cement the moment in college history like Starkey's call. Subtlety was never the man's strong suit; any play of any significance was reported as if Martians had just landed on a farm outside of Grovers Mill, New Jersey.

Also, accuracy was not a huge priority. "Gore catches it at the 40 for a three-yard gain; not enough for a first down ... wait, they're giving him EIGHT yards. And that's Johnson, not Gore. Sorry." In other words, the perfect play-by-play guy for San Francisco. The longtime sports director for KGO would for years call a Cal game on Saturday and then trundle off to wherever the 49ers were playing the next day; a schedule that finally got the better of him. He'll continue to call games for Cal, however, although how his larynx ever recovered from that day in 1982 is beyond me.

End Of An Era: Joe Starkey Retires [Santa Rosa Press Democrat]

Elway's first marriage ended in divorce in 2003, not long after the death of his father and his twin sister.

John and Janet Elway had met at Stanford and become college sweethearts. They'd been toasted for years as Denver's first couple and raised four kids together. In June of 2002, just two months before Elway's sister Jana died, Janet moved out of the couple's home, taking the couple's four children with her.

The Elways reconciled, but in January 2003 John moved out for good and said the couple was divorcing. The events played out in public in the mile-high fish bowl that has been Elway's existence ever since he arrived in Denver.

"I lost Dad, and a year and half later I lost my twin sister Jana … and then a year later there was divorce and it was a boom, boom, boom," Elway says. "I don't know if you ever hit rock bottom. …Really, the pain just doesn't go away."

John was enshrined in Canton in 2004 by his daughter, Jessica, who has to be really jazzed about getting two Christmases this year.

Apparently, Cutler, who is the leader of the team after all, called out wide receiver Brandon Marshall after Marshall hurt himself "horsing around" with his older brother. Cutler was annoyed by this, and said so. King Elway did not approve.

"If that's what Jay feels like he needs to comment on, he needs to do that," Elway said. "Personally, I would've done it to him. Even though I tried to settle things in the press, looking back over the years, it hasn't been the right way to do it. ... I was surprised to hear it actually,"

Aaron Rodgers is going to get to deal with this for the next four years, so that should be fun.

Elway Surprised Cutler Called Out Brandon Marshall [CBS 4 Denver]

We mean, really? John Elway?

Several hours later, when Elway attempted to order another glass of wine, he was told by the bartender that management was cutting him off. According to the former Broncos quarterback, he asked to speak to the manager.

"I asked her for her card to find out what her name was," Elway told me. "I said to her 'If that's your policy (to refuse him another drink), then that's the way it is but I'm not coming back.' We had been there for hours, and I appreciated them taking care of me, but we were just sitting there having a discussion. We weren't even being loud."

Seriously, you don't cut off John Elway. You cut off Jay Cutler, who kinda sucks but might be good someday.

Would You Cut John Elway Off? [Westword]

• A Curious Guy-esque conversation with Kim Jong-Il. [Manute's Webb]

• Oooooh. The NFL is considering making some out-of-market games available live on the Internet next year. [Washington Post]

• Bill Walton thinks Kobe Bryant is going to score 100 points in a game... sometime within the next month. Of course, he'd have probably said the same thing if someone asked him if Kobe could score 1,000. [The Sports Frog]

• "The rich white guy in this campain is Lynn Swann." That's... well, you just can't say that. [The Wizard of Odds]

• The Mighty Ducks of Anaheim are slightly modifying their name. Sadly, the "Anaheim Ducks of Los Angeles and Surrounding Southern California Trendy Spots" was rejected. [World Chumps]

According to Ryan Van Bibber from Washington, D.C., Broncos legend John Elway is definitely one.

I had a celeb run-in with John Elway a couple years back. I was a layabout around Aspen, CO, spending most of my days in a down valley bar called the Rainbow Grill. One weekday afternoon in the summer of '03 I had come in for some touchscreen games and kamikaze shots. As I was talking to the bartender, one of the waitresses came in complaining of a table with dirty old men. Looking out the onto the deck we spotted the most famous cog in Mike Shanahan's "system" with a couple of other dudes (obviously not former players) and a really young chick that looked to be the girlfriend of the recently divorced former QB. The most shocking thing about it, besides the fact that he looked much more like Elway the car salesman than Elway the Pro Bowl QB, was that the guy is a chain smoker. That bastard should have an endorsement deal with Marlboro Lights. Anyway ... it's not all that shocking, but I was blown away that a guy who made a handsome living on his physical abilities smoked liked a Jersey dockworker.

Yeah, we're surprised too. Anybody know of any other athletes who are hardcore smokers? And Elway? That explains the craggly face a bit, we guess.

Athlete Run-Ins: Podsednik Takes Six For The Team [Deadspin]

We were so impressed by this that, despite having given to the Katrina fund before, we wanted to give again, because the NFL asked us to. And because we wanted to talk to John Elway. So we grabbed our phone and dialed the number they kept flashing on the screen. And we had a little bit of trouble, to say the least.

After the jump, the long and laborious process:

• 7:50 p.m.: 888-635-5933. Busy.
• 7:58 p.m.: Busy.
• 8:15 p.m.: "We are unable to complete your call at this time. Please try again later."
• 8:36 p.m.: Busy.
• 9:15 p.m.: Ringing ... success! "Thank you for calling the NFL hurricane relief hotline. I'm Peyton Manning of the Indianapolis Colts." Hi, Peyton! Wow, I'm so impressed you're taking these calls. So you know, I think that — Wait ... recorded message.

Crap. Some recorded lady. "To donate using a credit card using our automated system, press 1. For information on mailing a donation by check, press 2. If you would like to speak with a representative, press Star." We want Frank Gifford! STAR! STAR!

NFL Films music plays. This music makes us almost feel less guilty for actually wanting to watch football in the midst of this altruistic telethon. Music ... music ... music ... "Thank you for calling the NFL Relief Hotline. I'm Michael Vick of the Atlanta Falcons." It's Ron Mexico! What up, dude? We hear lysine, an amino acid, is very helpful for your affliction. Viva La Mexico! Oh, darnit, that was recorded too.

More music ... music ... music ... "You've reached the NFL Bush/Clinton Katrina Relief Fund Hotline. Can I help you with your donation?" Yes! A real person.

We speak: "Yes, we'd like to give $100 to the fund. With whom am I speaking?" The voice: "This is Keith. Can I take your credit card number, or would you like to write a check?" Us: "We'll give you a credit card. Is this Keith Brookings?" Voice: "Uh, no, sir." Us: "Keith Traylor?" Voice: "No, sir, I don't play —-" Whoa! What happened? We got disconnected. And that didn't sound like John Elway! Jeez. Let's try this again.

• 9:27 p.m.: "We are unable to complete your call at this time." Grrr!
• 9:45 p.m. Busy.
• 10:01 p.m.: "Thank you for calling the NFL. I'm Peyton Manning! I — " Shit. We were so used to hitting redial we accidentally hung up. Dammit!
• 10:15 p.m. Busy.
• 10:26 p.m.: Busy.
• 10:29 p.m.: Ringing ... success! "Thank you for calling the NFL hurricane relief hotline. I'm Peyton Manning of the Indianapolis Colts." ... The recorded lady is back. "To donate using a credit card using our automated system, press 1. For information on mailing a donation by check, press 2. If you would like to speak with a representative, press Star. Para espanol number tres ... What? Now it's ALL automated? Man, screw this: Tony Danza lied to us. We're just gonna give online. Jerks.

Elway Chips In At Telethon [NFL.com]