When a student was jailed for racist tweets directed at Fabrice Muamba, it was an opportunity to discuss the British justice system and the perils of online anonymity. When John Terry was cleared of racially abusing Anton Ferdinand, it was an opportunity to quote a judge saying "cunt" about 72 times. Now here's something …

Go ahead, try out your lipreading: What does Chelsea's John Terry say to QPR's Anton Ferdinand in this video from back in October? If you see anything but "fucking black cunt," you're wrong, because that's totally what he said. He even cops to it.

Minutes after Barcelona scored to tie the aggregate at 1-1, Chelsea captain John Terry was sent off for one of the dumbest stunts seen in the Champions League in years: kneeing Barça striker Alexis Sánchez in the back.

It can be difficult to keep up with racism in the English Premier League, so here's a brief, handy roundup from this week's news:

As English Premier League games go, Man U/Chelsea is big. Man U's in first. Defending champion Chelsea's three points behind in fourth.

As pointed out many times, The Spoiler is very well connected, with a mob of secret squirrels all over the country, listening through boardroom walls with mini-pint jugs pressed to their ears, smoking endless cigarellos.

Did you hear? The English soccer team did not do so well at the World Cup. Want to know why? A locker room divided over a teammate's extramarital affair, of course. Stop me if you've heard this one.

Once again, The Spoiler has received some very interesting information from the various squirrels that roam the country, listening in on football boardroom meetings, and spending the evenings alone in bars drinking to forget, before getting free sex from a sympathetic prostitute.

More handshake line drama! This time, Wayne Bridge waits for John Terry before yesterday's Chelsea/Man City tilt. I suppose anything less than a roundhouse kick should be considered taking the high road.

After Ashley Cole went down with a broken ankle, all of England's hopes rested on Wayne Bridge. Would he put the personal unpleasantness aside, for queen and country? Hell no.