The fine folks at OutSports directed us to a contest figure skater Johnny Weir was hosting on his Web site: Submit your Johnny Weir poems! Johnny himself picked out the winner, from a Netherlands woman named Renate Linnenkoper. (Which, by the way, is Dutch for "Kordell Stewart.") Here's an excerpt:

And on that ice, a figure stands
His face framed by raven strands
His visage adorned by hazel eyes
Reminiscent of lover's feverish goodbyes

That is truly the best poem we've read today that was written by a person with greater-than-but-not-equal-to six unicorn tattoos.

Weir's Poetry Winner [OutSports]

When Weir gave his famous "the establishment can't handle me" speech, we thought he was overreaching a little bit. But a reader tells us that the U.S. figure skating "establishment" really might have some serious problems with Weir ... and is feeling its repercussions.

The new brochure and website for the U.S. Figure Skating Championships, to be held next January in Spokane Washington, are out now, and there is quite a glaring admission. Although reigning Men's National Champion, a title he has held for the last three years, Johnny Weir is not mentioned or pictured anywhere on either entity. The website bears the stamp 'Sanctioned by U.S. Figure Skating" in the lower left corner; it looks like the United States Figure Skating Association is trying to send quite a message, to both the public and to Weir himself, apparently, by omitting him from advertising for the championships. Every other major skater is included: Kwan (who didn't compete at the Olympics, Worlds or the 2006 Nationals), Cohen, Meisner, Belbin & Agosto, and of course their fair-haired boy Evan Lysacek.

Word within skating circles is that the USFSA is hoping to replace Weir as mens representative for the sport with Lysacek, whom they deem more 'socially acceptable', regardless of the fact that he is nowhere near the artist or technician that Weir is. I can't think of another sport where authorities have this kind of power over the career of the athlete regardless of their talent and record.

Johnny Weir Has Had It Up To Here With Your "Rules" [Deadspin]

The Washington Post accompanies Johnny Weir on a shopping trip in Torino, and it is mind-blowing. I highly recommend giving it a read, because, if you're like me, you're never going to experience anything

like this in your life. To me, it feels almost like reading about someone climbing Mount Everest. I just can't relate. Some quick facts from Johnny's shopping trip:

• He spent $1330 in two hours.
• His favorite item of clothing is a Roberto Cavalli beaver-and-python coat.
• Johnny believes that in a former life he was a young Polish girl during the holocaust.
• He owns 103 pairs of sunglasses, which he keeps in a drawer and polishes regularly.
• His cell phone has three fur tails hanging off of it, two of them beaver, and one of them mink (again with the beaver... it's like he's trying to convince himself of something).
• His feelings are hurt when he sees designer knock-offs.

I'm really starting to think he might be gay.

[Drop Till You Shop] Washington Post

Sprite Dunk Face [Sprite Dunk Face]
Tuesdays With A.J. [Deadspin]

Outsports.com brings us this tale of a guy hanging out at somewhere in Kansas, observing other middle-aged blue-collared Kansans admiring the powerful hindquarters of Johnny Weir. There's talk of blind taylors, a skater's points being too high, and glute work. It sounds like a conversation that could've been taken place in any hair salon, or poodle grooming shop in America.

I think this might be the key to opening up a little more gay acceptance in America: tie sports to it. If there's a sporting event involved, even rugged Kansans have no trouble critiquing sequined outfits, Evgeni Plushenko's lack of artistry, and the strong backsides of the world's best figure skaters. Anyone out there who's thinking of organizing a gay pride parade, stop and turn it into a gay pride race. I think hairy middle aged guys in leather chaps and ball-gags would be perfectly acceptable to society, as long as they were throwing shot-putts or driving race cars.

Weir Connects in Kansas [Outsports.com]

"Buses had been coming every 10 minutes all week, but they changed the schedule to every half hour today, I guess. I didn't want to wait until nine o'clock because then I wouldn't get there until 9:15 or 9:20. Which is what happened anyway. I was yelling at people in English and they only spoke Italian."

"I never felt comfortable in this building. I didn't feel my inner peace. I didn't feel my aura. I was black inside."

You know, I've always felt that there wasn't enough diversity (at least, racial diversity) in American figure skating. It warms my heart to know that Johnny Weir is at least a little bit African on the inside. I think Jason Williams often feels the same way.

The Olympics seem a little more drab, a little more dreary, now that Johnny is done. Unlike countryman Bode Miller, he at least seems to care that he didn't perform well. I'm not ready for Johnny to go away yet. Maybe it's not too late to get him into a two-man luge team, something that you'd have to think he might enjoy, just a little bit.

Meltdown of the Ambiguously Gay Male Figure Skater [The Sports Pulse]
Weir falters, finishes 5th [Baltimore Sun]
Jason Williams Bio [NBA.com]

Men's Figure Skating [Torino 2006]
Johnny Weir is Very, Very Flexible [Gawker]

· "He was wearing jeans, loafers and this form-fitting black jacket with a high collar that my wife would die for."

· "Across his chest was the strap of his Louis Vuitton purse. Not bag. Purse!"

· "Most women would kill to have his body. Five-nine and I'd guess 125 pounds. That would make him the same size as my wife."

Sikahema asserts his alpha-maleness throughout the report and is seemingly stunned at just how "princess-y" Weir is in real life. One can only hope that after the Olympics are over, NBC 10 makes "Emasculating Field Reports With Vai Sikahema" a regular feature.

Johnny Weir and Vai Sikahema Go Shopping [700 Level]
Vai, Weir Shop for Chanel [NBC 10]

"I know that a lot of people, especially the more Republican-style people, are very afraid of what I mean to the sport and what I'm going to say, what kind of revolutionary, crazy things are going to come out of my mouth. Good for them, they should be scared."

OutSports points out that while this interview was going on, "What A Girl Wants" was playing on Weir's car stereo. They also chime in with this observation about the closet world of figure skating:

As he walked out of the arena Tuesday night, he looked at the camera seductively, then shimmied his shoulders while throwing his head back. If Weir, 21, is not gay, then neither are we.

We also enjoyed Weir's heart-sprinkled sweater with Matt Lauer this morning, though something bewildered us: Weir said that the Olympics were the first time his father and brother had ever seen him skate in international competition. That made us sad, somehow.

Why Johnny Weir Rocks [OutSports]
Johnny Weir Livens Up Staid Sport Of Men's Figure Skating [San Jose Mercury News]

(UPDATE: Our sisters and brothers at Gawker have dug up video of Johnny, because they're better at this than we are.)

We were playing around on Weir's official site this morning, and we found all kinds of info that pretty much secures he's going to be the most entertaining athlete to watch, for better or worse. Some highlights:

• Of his 10 favorites songs, five are by Christina Aguilera.
• He counts Moulin Rouge, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Velvet Goldmine and The Bodyguard as his favorite films.
• His favorite comedian is Margaret Cho.
• His favorite books are "The Devil Wears Prada" and Nicole Richie's "The Truth About Diamonds."
• He loves polar bears.
• His signature quote: "People ask if I'm in love with you, cause I'm sitting here with your picture and smiling to myself. I'm kinda lost in my thoughts of you, my heart speaks before my mind thinks through and I blush as I say yes." — Christina Aguilera

Honestly, nothing new here. We found the same things surfing through Rulon Gardner's official site.

Johnny Weir's Favorites [Figure Skaters Online]
Let The Games, And The Fussing, Begin [Deadspin]

(AOL's Sports Bloggers Live has a most enjoyable interview with Weir.)

I am very princessy as far as travel is concerned and having a nice room and things like that. Sorry to say princessy. But that s what we do.

Was it:
A. Brett Favre;
B. Former Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura;
C. U.S. men's skate champion Johnny Weir.

For those who guessed 'A,' congratulations. No wait, sorry. It was 'C.' Weir, the three-time U.S. men's figure skating champion, arrived in Turin on Tuesday and immediatly gave a Nicky Hilton-style thumbs down to the Olympic Village accomodations. "I hate carrying my own luggage, and I hate trekking up stairs," he said. "I like a nice bed to be laid out for me. So it s not any of that. It s not very comfortable."

Not quite as inspiring as "Swifter, Higher, Stronger," but it may catch on.

By the way, not surprisingly, the folks at OutSports are big fans of Weir, compiling some of his more out-RAGE-ous! statements. Love it!

Weir Says He Won't Stop Being 'Princessy' [MSNBC]
Weir Tells It Like It Is [OutSports]