What On Earth Is Going On With José Mourinho's Manchester United Pre-Contract?

We can all agree that the big takeaway from the pre-contract José Mourinho has reportedly signed with Manchester United is the simple fact that, after a few months on the sidelines, no doubt stewing over the calamity that was his final season at Chelsea, our man Mourinho will almost certainly be back in his natural…

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Chelsea Conveniently Pile Blame For Their Disastrous Season All On Mourinho

While no one could seriously argue that José Mourinho didn’t earn today’s firing because of his team’s god-awful performances this season, it would be similarly disingenuous to paint the coach himself as the sole cause of this inexplicable confluence of events. The club’s technical director, naturally, takes up…

Arsenal Fan Idris Elba Loves Laughing At Sorry-Ass Chelsea As Much As We Do

Idris Elba is from London. Thus, he’s an Arsenal fan. Because his team has been cast over the past decade as The Big Engine That Can’t, he’s had to endure repeated humiliations and ridicule at the hands of the Gunners’ rivals. Now that the shoe’s on the other foot with regards to Chelsea’s God-forsaken season, he’s…

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José Mourinho Continues To Lose, Then Give Great Postgame Interviews

Chelsea lost at home today, as they’ve been doing all season, and José Mourinho gave some performatively defiant comments about his tenuous job status, as he’s been doing all season. Chelsea’s season from hell got worse as they let Liverpool come back and beat them 3-1 on a pair of tremendous Coutinho strikes. Here’s…

José Mourinho's Self-Regard Grows In Inverse Proportion To Chelsea's Record

Hey remember when David Moyes coached United for a year, everyone agreed it was an unmitigated disaster, and it became the standard by which to measure all EPL meltdowns? José Mourinho, the little tyrant man who will probably get fired from the USMNT someday, and Chelsea have started this season three points worse…