Jose Reyes Takes A Pick-Off Attempt Right In The Dick

The most painful part of Jose Reyes being hit in family jewels here is the replay. The second-most painful part is the entire stadium reacting to the replay being aired in the stadium before the broadcast has shown it. » 7/21/13 3:45pm 7/21/13 3:45pm

Jose Reyes's Legs Are The Best Legs But Also The Worst Legs

Jose Reyes isn't on the Mets anymore, but that didn't matter to any Mets fan who, last night, happened to hear or see the sound or sight we'd all become so used to over the first nine years of his career: Something bad had happened to Jose Reyes's legs. » 4/13/13 1:23pm 4/13/13 1:23pm

Jeffrey Loria Told Jose Reyes To "Get A Nice House In Miami" Four Days…

We knew that the Marlins had given Jose Reyes "verbal assurances" that they wouldn't trade him, but yesterday brought a new report about the exact content of those promises and when the Marlins were making them. In particular, walking pair of conspicuously expensive sunglasses Jeffrey Loria told Jose Reyes to buy a… » 2/16/13 12:20pm 2/16/13 12:20pm

The Marlins Specifically Promised Not To Trade Jose Reyes And Mark…

Need another reason to hate the Marlins? Let's add this to the list (there's seriously a list): not only did the Miami Marlins and their awful ownership trade away half the team—they did so despite promising at least two stars, who signed with the Marlins this summer hoping to stay in Miami for some time, that they… » 11/17/12 7:15pm 11/17/12 7:15pm

Jose Reyes Home Run Drills Wrigley Field Usher In The Back

The Marlins announcers were oddly impressed that Reyes was able to hit one out to right even with the wind at Wrigley blowing in, but a reader named Justin happened to notice where the ball actually lands. The best view is at the end of the clip below, beginning right around the 41-second mark. Yep. A direct hit. » 7/19/12 11:15am 7/19/12 11:15am

Gifts For The Self-Loathing Mets Fan: Bidding On Jose Reyes's Shorn…

Apparently most-riveting-New-York-Met-ever Jose Reyes will spend this year toiling for something called the Miami Marlins, the Talk Magazine of baseball teams, while Ruben Tejada will start at short for the Mets. Cool. » 2/08/12 1:35pm 2/08/12 1:35pm

What Losing Jose Reyes Really Means For Mets Fans

In eighth grade I wrote a poem about Jose Reyes, the Miami Marlins' new shortstop. The poem wasn't so good. I wrote it in Reyes's gregarious broken English, in which every third utterance is "you know" or "man." But I had to write something quickly for a class, and in April 2005, nothing captivated me quite like the… » 12/05/11 4:00pm 12/05/11 4:00pm

Jose Reyes Seinfeld The Puppy Begs Jose Reyes The Human To Stay With…

Jerry Seinfeld is a Mets fan, for some masochistic reason. Being a Mets fan means always having to say they're sorry. But one silver lining is the very real chance of re-signing Jose Reyes, so that they can pay him $15 million when he's 36 years old, which is the soonest possible time the team will be good again. » 11/23/11 3:45pm 11/23/11 3:45pm

Hope Solo And Friends Grace The Covers Of ESPN The Magazine's Nudie…

ESPN The Magazine debuted its annual Body Issue today. Good news, aspiring suitors: Hope Solo is on one of the four covers, in some kind of warrior yoga pose—one that is, of course, intended as "a celebration and exploration of the athletic form." » 10/05/11 12:35pm 10/05/11 12:35pm

Jose Reyes Is A Selfish, Gutless, Stat-Padding Quitter (Just Like Derek…

From the moment Jose Reyes dropped a first-inning bunt single and then checked out of the season's final game, leaving his average at .337 and all but assuring the Mets of the first batting title in franchise history, it was obvious that people who need something to yell about were going to yell about it. How dare… » 9/29/11 11:40am 9/29/11 11:40am

11-Year-Old Is The Best Broadcaster The Mets Have Ever Had

Young Jacob Resnick got to call Jose Reyes' first-pitch home run last night (and stick around for the eventual Mets meltdown). He won an essay contest and an audition, and we see why he won. He's genuinely excited by the game he's calling, a trait all-too-often absent in our current crop of commentators. (The… » 8/03/11 12:00pm 8/03/11 12:00pm

Watch Jose Reyes Bust Heavily Autotuned Reggaeton Rhymes With The Best…

Jose Reyes is awesome at baseball—he bats .354/.398/.529 at the premier defensive position, and that's to say nothing of how exciting he is with a full head of steam, sliding into third after cracking one into the gap. » 7/17/11 12:50pm 7/17/11 12:50pm

Watch A Blue Jays Reliever And Manager Get Ejected On The Day Roy…

Your morning roundup for July 3, the day after some baby gators proved a mud hole is better than any stop, drop and roll mantra. » 7/03/11 10:00am 7/03/11 10:00am

Bikini-Clad Russian Soccer Players Declare That The "Time Of Female…

Your morning roundup for July 2, the day a few Marines face time in the brig because they married solely for money. » 7/02/11 10:00am 7/02/11 10:00am

Being Captain Of The Saint John Sea Dogs Does Not Entitle You To Spit…

Your morning roundup for May 30, Memorial Day, the day we learned the Groupon Voice. Video via tipster Brent, who writes (with a French BlackBerry signature appended!), "Watch beardo spit into the Memorial Cup. His teammates will be drinking out of it. Fucking gross." » 5/30/11 10:00am 5/30/11 10:00am

The One Where We Find Out Why This Man Is Having Sex With A Car

We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW and NOT SAFE FOR CHRISTMAS.) » 12/24/09 12:15pm 12/24/09 12:15pm