This Courtroom Sketch Of Guy Fieri Is Just Delightful

Somebody stole Guy Fieri's car and then (allegedly) attempted to murder someone. Guy had to testify in court. Someone else had to draw a picture of it. And now the horror of murder (and the lesser horror of auto theft) has been mitigated ever so slightly, by the most wonderful illustration of all time. » 11/01/13 12:45pm 11/01/13 12:45pm

The Worst of White Folks

Way back in the day when Twitter was a bootleg reindeer name, David Rozier invented farting during Mass. A few minutes before we marveled at the six Catholics at Holy Family Catholic School sipping out of one gold goblet, and right after Father Joe suggested we offer each other “a sign of peace,” David tapped me on my… » 7/24/13 1:13pm 7/24/13 1:13pm

Will George Zimmerman Get Away With Murder?

Trayvon Martin was murdered. George Zimmerman murdered him. The jury may or may not see it that way; juries get a narrow and complicated view of things, and sometimes they get things wrong. But outside the jury box, there's no excuse. » 7/12/13 7:18pm 7/12/13 7:18pm

Bryan Stow Opens His Eyes, But Doctors Still Can't Predict His Chances…

Bryan Stow, the 42-year-old paramedic and San Francisco Giants fan brutally beaten by a pair of moral-maggot Dodger fans who have yet to be caught but most certainly will sizzle in Hell if such a place exists, has shown signs of improvement in recent days. Opening his eyes. No seizure activity in his brain. The sorts… » 5/18/11 9:45pm 5/18/11 9:45pm

Michael Vick's Dog Receives Key To The City

Back in February, when folks in Dallas were outraged that the city's Mayor Pro Tem had awarded Michael Vick with a key to the city that, he explained, was really "for the children," the Dallas Observer ran the headline that included the phrase, "As It Turns Out, Anybody Can Get a Key to the City of Dallas." Last week, City … » 5/12/11 3:00pm 5/12/11 3:00pm

Iowa City Arsonist Witness Looks Remarkably Similar To The GEICO…

Police in Iowa City, Iowa are on the hunt for an arsonist who allegedly burnt down an apartment building a week ago. As a few tipsters have shrewdly pointed out, the prime witness in the investigation, and the possible suspect, bears a striking resemblance to the caveman from those awful GEICO commercials and that much … » 2/08/11 1:00pm 2/08/11 1:00pm

New Orleans Judge Sets Important Legal Precedent With "Saintsmania"…

District Court Judge Michael G. Bagneris has granted a one-week continuance in his current trial so that Court members may properly adjudicate the "Saintsmania" that "permeates the City of New Orleans." Justice: Cajun Style! [AboveTheLaw; pic via] » 1/27/10 3:30pm 1/27/10 3:30pm