Also, they're both in favor of pushing the metaphorical envelope. Ochocinco did CPR on the field. He riverdanced, he Irish jigged and he chickendanced. He was fined by the NFL for asking the league not to fine him. Lest we forget, the guy literally changed his last name, reminding us how batty he is every time he slips on his jersey. Or breathes. Or tweets. And he does a lot of that. Not enough for his own liking, though, which is where @JustinGimelstob comes in.

A true trailblazer, Gimelstob came out of retirement to play in a match yesterday just to tweet-by-proxy throughout. As in the NFL, tweeting mid-match is not exactly polite in professional tennis. But if you're Machiavellian like Gimelstob or Johnson, the ends justify the means:

During his doubles match with partner Jesse Levine, Gimelstob was writing notes for a ball girl to run over to the side of the court — behind the players' chairs — where the intern for fellow American player Sam Querrey was posting them on Gimelstob's Twitter account.

Gimelstob also mouthed a few comments for the intern to post in between points. Most of them were standard play-by-play recaps.

Ah, innovation and progress in tennis, the stodgiest of sports. Who knew that Sam Querrey has an intern?

Justin Gimelstob tweets during doubles match [AP]
EARLIER: Chad Ochocinco Tweets By His Own Rules

Anyway, that's all for today. Be well tonight, please come back tomorrow for more sportsy-oriented web stuffing.

Thank you for continuing to eyeball Deadspin.

Gimelstob apologizes, Anna mutters, Saga over [DC Sports Bog]

"Being pro women's rights, I just think we've come farther than to be referred to ... you know, I don't cuss," [Williams] said Friday, during her post-match press conference. "Anna is a great girl. For anyone to say that about her is kind of ... what can I say? It's not professional."

In addition to his apology, Gimelstob also made a donation to the Women's Sports Foundation to show sporty women all over the world that he's just playin' when he calls them "bitches" or comments on how built they are. In a stunning twist of comeuppance which seems highly appropriate at this time, I received an email the day of Deadspin's original Gimelstob post which I found enlightening. (Sic, throughout, please):

Hey AJ,

Who else can I tell this to? I am, and have been, fucking Justin Gimelstob's first cousin for 5 years. She's a freak. We've been fuck buddies the whole time, and she likes to fly me to her for weekends of debauchery. They are related through Herb Gimelstob, a man so rich Donald Trump said of him, "This is one of the richest fucking Jews in Florida" and that's saying something. AJ, I'm not sure of what use this data is to you, but I think its hilarious. Let me emphasize, this chick is a FREAK (in a Jewish Princess sort of way).

I encourage this individual to make a donation and apologize for his derogatory remarks about Mr. Gimelstob's cousin as soon as possible. It's only fair.

Gimelstob apologizes for remarks [NJ.com]
Junkies Ears Gimelstob One Match Suspension [D.C. Sports Bog]

"[I]think Skip Bayless is the absolute biggest travesty in history. When I get to the point where I'm at that level, I will absolutely destroy him. I will tear him apart....Nobody goes backwards and holds him accountable. That guy has made a living out of being a contrarian, not by being good at what he does. And that's why I would destroy that guy on live television based on my ability to process information quicker and in a wittier way than he could."

That would be an episode of First Take that I think everyone would tolerate for more than 24 seconds.

How Justin Gimelstob = Gilbert Arenas [D.C. Bog]