justin-halpern - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Who Is The Most Masturbated-To Woman In History?I just recently got a Christmas card from Drew and his family and I have to say: Is there any bigger fucking waste of time, energy, and paper than a Christmas card? I understand why people used to do it before Facebook existed, but currently, if someone has a baby, not a day goes by that a photo of ...

A Plea For TV Networks To Show People Running Onto The FieldBig thank you to Drew for letting me guest this Funbag. Normally my day is filled with exploiting my elderly father for money (see: Shit My Dad Says), so it was a welcome diversion. I also used to write for the TV show of the same name, until America was like, "GOD FUCKING STOP THIS SHIT TAKE IT OFF...

Live Chat With Justin Halpern About "Shit My Dad Says" And Other ThingsJustin's down in the comments section awaiting your questions. His father is not. But you can still curse at him just like his dad would if that's what makes you feel better. And, yes, he knows how Gawker comments work. Buythebook!...

Excerpt From <em>Shit My Dad Says</em>: "Act Like You've Been There Before"

Below is a chapter titled "Confidence Is The Way To A Woman's Heart, Or, At Least Into Her Pants " from SMDS by Justin Halpern, America's premier chronicler of patriarchal affection. Buy the book, read the Tweets, pray for Shatner. Chat at 2....

Come Chat With "Shit My Dad Says" Author Justin Halpern Tomorrow At 2pm EST

It's the amusing Twitter account even your dad likes. And, now, it's a book. Come stop by tomorrow for an excerpt and watch the author bravely navigate the commenting arena which has humbled many an author and vaporized one female comedian....