God Smites The Manchesters Because England Sucks

England, man. Their clubs spend all that money on some of the best players in the world, get all that media hype about being the best league in the world, and right as you start to buy into it all they meet a couple underdogs from Europe and prove yet again that England isn’t as good as it’s made out to be.
»9/16/15 10:32am9/16/15 10:32am

Barcelona's Perfect Season May Have Been Their Hardest

As we said after Barcelona took the (severely hobbled, it must be said) champions of Germany and ground them up into a fine powder to be mixed in with the mate the club’s South American contingent is always going on about, this team deserved to end the season surrounded by every trophy available. The football gods… »6/08/15 3:46pm6/08/15 3:46pm

Barcelona Carve Up Juventus, Score First Goal Of Champions League Final

All that talk about Barcelona’s terrifying front three and it’s actually midfielders Andrés Iniesta and Ivan Rakitić who combine to score the opening goal of this Champions League final just four minutes in. (Though to be fair, Messi and Neymar made the two key passes to open everything up.)
»6/06/15 3:02pm6/06/15 3:02pm

Barcelona Are Europe's Best Team; Now They Just Have To Make It Official

If the European Cup is worth its weight in silver and prestige, Barcelona should win it this year. That is to say, if the major competitions in this sport are designed to throw the best clubs in Europe into the most demanding possible gauntlet and, in the end, reward the one that’s proved its superiority, then a year… »5/07/15 4:11pm5/07/15 4:11pm

Carlos Tevez Scores Indirect Free Kick From 6 Yards Out

Every once in awhile you see an indirect free kick—meaning a goal can only be scored if it touches one other player first—awarded only a few yards away from the goal. In this case, the referee judged that the Empoli goalkeeper picked the ball up after it was deliberately passed back to him by a teammate. »4/04/15 5:21pm4/04/15 5:21pm

Holy Mother Carlos Tevez Just Bombed Germany With This Rocket Golazo

Juventus and Borussia Dortmund are playing today, right now. A few minutes ago, they kicked off. Then two minutes passed. Then Juventus's Carlos Tevez got the ball. Then he blew up Germany's hopes, and also Germany. No more high-quality vehicles for anyone. Because there's no more Germany. Germany's gone. »3/18/15 4:04pm3/18/15 4:04pm

Andrea Pirlo's Bomb From 30 Yards Out Is Almost As Majestic As His Beard

This is the perfect Andrea Pirlo goal. Firmly parked way behind the action—a distance he's made a career out of dominating games from—he collects the ball, eyes up the goal frame, and hoofs in a shot that has no business beating the keeper. It's less a violent blast of power than an meticulously crafted work of art,… »2/20/15 4:49pm2/20/15 4:49pm

Champions League Match Postponed Due To Biblical Hailstorm

This is just stupid. The final Champions League group stage games are this week, with the top two teams in each of the eight, four-team groups advancing to the Round of 16. Most of today's matches had something riding on them with the final group standings still unresolved, but perhaps the most exciting matchup was… »12/10/13 5:15pm12/10/13 5:15pm

We’ve Translated This Apoplectic Irish Soccer Fan's Rant For Those Not Fluent In Crazy-Speak

A few weeks ago, Juventus defeated Celtic 3-0 in Champions League play. Soon after, this video of a mildly distressed Celtic fan appeared on the internet. We do not know who this young woman is, and we do not have any idea what she is saying in this video, but we do know that her grief is very real and also very loud. »2/25/13 2:50pm2/25/13 2:50pm